☀️ June 2024: Career Questions, Reflective Writing, Pertinent Podcasts

📣 Latest update from last month's "big news"... I 🏁 FINISHED the creation of a video training series that I have been asked by Madecraft to make for them this spring and 🎥 FILMED it on June 6. Again, the course is on how to provide encouraging and empowering #leadership and #management to #GenZ employees! 🎉 I will keep you posted on when and where it will be released -- some time this summer. 

I also think anyone with kids ages 15-27 will find the content helpful as well. I am super excited for this new opportunity.

Meanwhile, how are you doing as summer starts and you're still facing a pile of work?! I hope these resources provide some encouragement and relief. Thanks for reading.

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🤔 What Really Motivates You at Work? I think you’d be surprised at how many conversations I have each month with clients who feel stalled, bored, or frustrated with their jobs. But it also feels paralyzing to start the process of figuring out what might be next – especially when you’re already working full-time. Rather than try to take all that on: maybe you could just start with this article?

🔎 Career Coaching? I continue to be surprised as to where my coaching takes me. I just finished with a long-term (9 years) corporate client last month, and in turn just added two new career coaching clients in the last two days... who reached out to me! I don't quite know what is going on, but I now have THIRTEEN individual coaching clients right now. I sense there are a lot of people out there looking for a change or just wondering if this is all there is. If that fits for you or someone you know, feel free to reach out for complementary 30-minute conversation.

😕 Why so many of us feel lonely at work. I'm including this recommendation because it puts into words some of the things clients are saying to me. It's a 32-minute long podcast episode and could provide some insights for you as to what you are feeling. This short article from FastCompany may reinforce the new truth for some that "work is not your family."

✍🏾 Esther Perel Journaling Prompts. I am a very big fan of her weekly podcast and also receive her monthly newsletter. I have slowly been compiling all of the questions from her newsletters into one document. Here's the link to those if you want to have journaling prompts that will carry you for several months if not years!

🌪️ Fighting Perfectionism, Stop Fearing Boredom. OK, maybe it is a little random to put those two statements together. But they are the first two episodes in a series of conversations that I am enjoying so far on The Happiness Lab. It sounds like this season is addressing some compulsive behaviors that we can tend to fall into, and they are done in an engaging and accessible way. Check them out.

📘 The Daily Reset. This is a random little book I found recently that I am using as part of my morning ritual to prepare for my day. It is simple, but so far has provided some interesting reflections.

Again, thanks for reading. Please feel free to pass this page along to a friend or colleague. Send an email to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me with questions, comments or feedback. I'll end with these words...

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." — Will Durant

My Top Posts for 2023: Do they tell us anything?

Perhaps in the spirit of Spotify Wrapped, I decided to check my most viewed posts on LinkedIn for 2023. It helps me to see what gets people's attention, but it also instructs me as a coach, consultant, teacher, mentor, and information nerd!

So here are my five most frequently viewed posts on LinkedIn -- I sense a theme... 🤔:

① How (and why) you should create a backup plan for your career. This was not only most viewed post, but it was viewed more than the next nine posts added together!! And I will confirm that job dissatisfaction / frustration / boredom was a repeated theme with a sizable number of my clients. In a recent conversation with one of my clients, where I encouraged him to update his LinkedIn profile, he said, "I thought you only needed LinkedIn when you needed to look for a job." I quickly responded with several points related to the power of #networking, #visibility and #professionaldevelopment. Those are all reasons as well for why I recommended this article. So if you haven't read it yet, join the thousands who did!

② How to handle feeling overworked. I led a discussion on this #podcast with a team earlier this fall. The title describes it well. If you're feeling #overwhelmed and/or #overworked, take 40 minutes to listen to it. 

③ No one taught me the importance of managing up—here’s why you may need to be your boss’ boss. I just had three conversations this week about this very topic. Shaping the expectations of your supervisor is so important to how you are managed and perceived. Key quote: "So, now, I don’t shy away from managing up. I no longer think of 'managing up' as impolite. I think about it as advocating for my #career."

④ What Color Is Your Parachute? 2022: Your Guide to a Lifetime of Meaningful Work and Career Success. (See the #1 most frequently viewed post!) This book gets updated every year, so no doubt the new 2024 edition should be released soon. Again, it just cannot hurt to lay the groundwork for a career change before you need one.

⑤ A compelling quote. My "LinkedIn Wrapped" review will end with this tremendous thought: 

“I sit here, and I know where I am. This is very important. We tend to be alive in the future, not now." Thich Nhat Hanh #selfcare #presence

Thanks for reading, and for joining me on the journey this year. See you in 2024!

🎄 December 2023: Time Management, Teams, Toolkits and More

I am hearing from many clients that they are scrambling as they juggle quarter-end, year-end, project-end deadlines, also hoping they can somehow get it all done so they can have a true break during the holidays. May some of these resources help you reach the finish line!

🎄 * ❄️ * 🕎 * 🎅🏽 * ☮️ * 🎁 * 🦌

🕰️ Time management: A guide to more sanity and less anxiety. This is an interview of my FAVORITE resource regarding time management, Oliver Burkeman. When I posted this on LinkedIn, a client commented, "I started listening to this podcast expecting time management techniques and realized it’s all about mindset. 🤯 i need to listen to this one again." I've recommended Burkeman's book here more than once. Give yourself this book for the holidays.

⛑️ A Refresher on Psychological Safety. At minimum, include this video in your management training; additionally, maybe even watch it with your team and discuss it? It's only 7.5 minutes long but also packed with useful insights.

🌍 🗣️ Getting Feedback Right on Diverse Teams. An excellent half-hour interview with Erin Meyer, the author of the Culture Map, my go-to resource for optimizing global, intercultural communication. A longer, more in-depth article was provided in the Sept-Oct 2023 issue of Harvard Business Review.

🧠 Mental Health Toolkit: Tools to Bolster Your Mood & Mental Health. I go in and out of listening to this podcast, but landed on this episode, and found it to be a great collection of things I wanted to be reminded of as I take some time to think about how this year has gone and how I want to step into 2024, especially in terms of mental health, well-being, and stress management. It is two hours long but I do recommend you take the time to listen to it.

🪫 Energy Audit (Introvert vs Extrovert). Here's a simple (and science-based) worksheet on recognizing draining situations in your daily life and developing strategies to avoid consecutive energy-sapping scenarios that can lead to #overwhelm and #burnout. 

🎸 What we learned from our parents' record collections. The title alone got my memories flowing... Simon & Garfunkel, Carole King, Barbra Streisand, the Beatles, the Band were all on repeat (on vinyl, of course) in my elementary school years. This podcast also recounts some delightful stories as well. Enjoy.

🤣 Team-Building Question for the Month. Throw this on to your Teams, Slack, Google Hangout, iMessage thread and have a good laugh.

"What was the best holiday gift you ever received?"

Mine was an Easy-Bake oven when I was 7 years old...🧁 🥰 

May your December bring some peace, joy, rest, and good memories. Thanks for reading -- feel free to share this with friends and co-workers. Cheers!

July 2023: Halfway

Somehow we’re already at the halfway point of 2023! I have nothing profound to say about that other than time sure does fly.  

This post builds on that concept figuratively... are you "halfway" through your life? Career? Professional development? These resources might provide some "next steps" for your journey.

I've saved up so many articles, podcasts, and book recommendations that I may post again in a couple of weeks. Stay tuned -- and thanks for reading!

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🧨 Management Training for Those Who Need a Boost. Last month I posted info about a coaching bundle I offer to individual clients and got a good response. That is still available!

That prompts me to make a similar offer this month: If you are feeling a little stalled (or overwhelmed?) in your own leadership and management, I have coached other clients in these competencies. You can access them from me through a “Coaching Bundle” where I offer 6 one-hour sessions to individuals for $500, which means you get one free session 👏🏽 The 6 sessions include:

• The Leader as Coach: How to not just solve the issues that your team brings to you, but instead develop them as self-sustaining leaders.
• How to Have Difficult Conversations: I recently read that managers use up to 40% of their time on managing conflict between people or within processes. In other words, difficult conversations are inevitable -- how can we have them productively?
• Managing Oneself: How to develop yourself professionally and sustainably throughout their career.
• Career Planning: How to coach your direct reports in career advancement and professional development
• Developing Resilience: Resilience is about recovering from setbacks (as opposed to burnout).
• Building Psychological Safety on your Team. How to help your team learn to speak up, participate and advocate for themselves.

If these don't "scratch where you itch" but you feel like you need a boost regardless, set up a complementary 30-min appt with me to talk over what you need.

📝 How to Describe Your Work Experience on Your Resume.  I often work with my #coaching #clients on their #resumes. One of the biggest struggles is figuring out how to describe their #workexperience. Here are some ideas to 🍯 stir the pot. HOT TIP: keep your resume up to date on a regular basis. That way, if an opportunity comes your way, you will be ready to apply.

𝟮𝟴 Questions to Ask Your Boss in Your One-on-Ones. The response of a C-Suite client with many direct reports says it all: "I LOVE this article!!" It is worth its weight in gold, especially if 1:1’s with your manager are lacking a little energy. It also equips you to effectively manage up with your supervisor, which will get their attention over time.

⏳ Is It Too Late to Start Over? I cannot recommend this podcast episode enough! It is as if they recorded several of my coaching conversations with clients who are contemplating a career pivot. Everything advised in this episode is stuff that I have recommended to clients. Take time to listen to this one.

🙋🏽‍♀️ 🧠 Women & Autism. Listened to an excellent #podcast interview of Katherine May, an author who figured out she is #autistic as an adult. I recommend it highly. And as I mentioned last month, don't miss this great article by Temple Grandin in a similar vein, When Great Minds Don't Think Alike. I continue to have conversations with multiple clients about their discoveries in later adulthood of ADHD, Autism, OCD, etc. LOTS to learn here. #neurodiversity #women

📖 From Strength to Strength by Arthur Brooks. I just finished this book and really enjoyed it. In the past few months I have had multiple conversations with people ranging in age from early 40's to late 50's who want and need a change professionally and yet feel somewhat paralyzed as to where and how to start figuring out what might be next. (Go back to that Halfway sign at the top!)  This book captures much of the "why" behind all of those feelings, and gives language to it all. Additionally, here is a podcast interview of the author that was published when the book came out, that might give you a sense of what he expands upon in the book.

Again, MANY thanks for reading. Feel free to forward this to someone you know, and send questions and feedback to me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

May 2023: Motivation, Management and Multiple Time Zones

I have had a great month with clients, and the song "I've Been Everywhere, Man" is currently running through my head as I think about them! I have virtually visited the countries of Kuala Lumpur, Thailand, and Bosnia, while also touring all over the US too, meeting online with clients from Chicago, Phoenix, NYC, Minneapolis, Pasadena, Baltimore, Boise, Boston, Sacramento, Houston, Pittsburgh, Seattle and Richmond... I am grateful for the opportunities to listen, learn, and share. P.S. Speaking of world travel, here's a new hack for managing multiple time zones on your Google Calendar - a lifesaver!)

Here are some of the things we discussed... I hope they provide some new insights to you as well!

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🎨 Leadership is an Art by Max DePree. I made a goal this year to go back and skim through at least 25 of the books on leadership that I have acquired over the years. And this one caught me a bit by surprise... I realized I had actually never read it, and had only heard it recommended. DePree was the CEO of Herman Miller furniture, and renowned as a gifted leader. Personally, I found the insights within this little book to be unique and thought-provoking -- in other words, it didn't sound like every other book on leadership. Sure, it is occasionally quaint and uses "he" more than I would like; after all, it was originally written in 1989, and the edition I read was reprinted in 2011. But its humility, emotional intelligence and generosity really stood out to me. It is a quick read, but will stay with you. (Ironically, the current CEO of DePree's former company was in the news recently, and not in a positive way. Not sure this CEO got around to reading DePree's book!)

Here's one quote from the start: The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant and a debtor. That sums up the progress of an artful leader.

🤓 How to be a Good Manager in 2023. I am guiding #managementdevelopment for three different clients right now and here's a good summary of what is needed in a #manager in 2023: 5 ways to be a manager that people don’t want to quit. If you liked this one, this is worthwhile as well: “Help, I’m an accidental manager.” These are the management secrets you are never taught.

💪🏽 How Do I Stay Motivated After Surviving Layoffs? This entire podcast series is excellent and if you are looking for a new one to subscribe to, jump on this one. This particular episode captures the raw emotions that I hear in some of my clients after layoffs, and the host, Muriel Wilkins, a tremendously gifted executive coach, conducts a master class in walking someone through next steps.

And here's an extra... if you have been laid off, or need a boost as you consider a job change, this one caught my attention: This is how ChatGPT can level up your job search. I am barely wading in the waters of Generative AI (and some of it concerns me a lot), but this particular topic proved fruitful.

😵‍💫 How to talk to a problem employee about their poor job performance. You may be just finishing up performance reviews, but this issue bubbles up year-round. In fact, there is perhaps no other topic I receive from leaders and managers more than this one. We seem to be uniquely terrible at giving constructive, substantive, clear, direct feedback. Let’s stack hands on this and commit to getting better at it!! It is always better to address things early to avoid confusion and complexity. If you want another resource, I often send out this one: 14 questions to ask an underperforming employee during a one-on-one meeting.

⚕️Washington Post Opinion: ADHD is an illness, not a lifestyle. Don’t punish people for it. As I have shared here before, I am encountering more and more clients who have been diagnosed as neurodivergent: this includes ADHD, dyslexia, OCD, and autism, to name a few. The increase in diagnoses can be attributed to advances in neuroscience, greater awareness, and the stresses of the last 3+ years on our mental health and stress management. This article is behind a paywall, so I'm giving you the PDF I downloaded. I can almost guarantee you know a neurodivergent person, even if you don't realize it. Please take a few moments to learn a bit more about how it feels for those going through some significant challenges. (Additionally, the opinion writer followed up with a column on readers' responses to her column, including negative reactions to her use of the word "illness." You can find those reactions here.)

🐾 This Week in Wildlife. This is a fun photo gallery to follow...  animal photos lift my spirits every time. The muddy puffin this week is ridiculously cute.

Thanks for reading... reach out with questions or feedback (or even a complimentary 30-minute coaching session for new clients) at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

January 2023: Reading, Reflection and Revving Up

I don't know about you, but I'm having a bit of a hard time getting going again after the long break. Part of it could be the dark and dreary days of late (that's right, Santa Barbara is actually having weather recently, with many days of rain and overcast, which we certainly need), but I am guessing part of it is also how the holidays fell this year, which allowed for consecutive long weekends, about which I am NOT complaining!

But it is time to get started, and I am hoping that writing this post will assist me in revving up for 2023! I hope it proves the same for you. 

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💥 Word of the Year Generator. There is nothing magical or prophetic about this. It is just a fun exercise to jump start your vision and strategy for 2023. My word was “Inspire” ~ I’ll take it! I spent some time in my journal considering how I might gain inspiration in the coming year, and how I might inspire others.

I passed it along to a few friends… one received the word “Yes!” and she loved it. Another received “Burn” and that was energizing for her: what might she burn down this year? What fires her up?

Yet another received the word “Work.” Nope! She didn’t want that one… the second was “Youth” - no connection for her there. Then she got “Surprise” and that worked. Again, no rules here. Just have fun with it, see if it sparks something for you and pass it along to others.

✅ Best Productivity Apps for 2023. This may feel like I am talking out of both sides of my mouth because I am a huge fan of the authors Oliver Burkeman and Walter Brueggemann, who both say that we need to focus far less on productivity and much more on being present and mindful. I could not agree more.

Nevertheless, I am also realistic that each of us are responsible for getting work done, and many of the apps described here are helpful in self-organizing and prioritizing. These words from the article put it well: 

The problem: productivity is deeply personal, and the words "productivity tools" mean a lot of different things to different people. What works for you may or may not work for me, which is why—after over a decade of writing about productivity software—I don't really believe there are objectively "best" productivity apps… Just remember: the specific app doesn't matter. The best productivity app is the one that works best for you. The most important thing is having a system.

⏰ Wake Up Your LinkedIn Profile. I often coach people who need help finding a new job or even a new career. One of the many key elements in that process is starting / improving / refining / maintaining your LinkedIn profile and presence.

First of all: I highly recommend working on your profile before you need to find a job. No doubt you are discouraged and exhausted when that time to transition comes, and the creative juices are often squeezed out by fear and stress. So please make a resolution to work on LinkedIn proactively and consistently, not just when you need to look for a job... you just never know :) Here are three links I recommend:

• Thirteen LinkedIn Banners and Examples
• How to Get Noticed on LinkedIn ~ Coaching for Leaders podcast
• 31 LinkedIn Tips to Make Your Profile Shine

📚 What Did I Read // What Am I Reading? I have mentioned here before that I am a recovering English major, so I am a BIG reader. (I also have Input as my #5 talent in StrengthsFinder). I have a few friends who are frustrated with me that I do not read fiction... I don't have big explanations for this other than perhaps I burned out on having to read two books a week throughout four years of college, the majority of which was fiction? ANYWAY, here are my top five favorite books from 2022, though it is difficult to narrow it down:

1. 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. I am relentlessly pumping up this book by Oliver Burkeman (as I have done so previously on this blog). So, so good. It really made me reflect on my fierce focus on productivity and how that is unhealthy in so many ways. I can say I feel changed by this book.
2. On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old. One of the favorite authors of my life is Parker Palmer, and he does not disappoint here. I initially was not interested in this book because he was writing from his 80 year-old perspective, and I did not think I was in that mindset yet. But I was humbled to realize that I should not wait until I'm 80 to think back (and forward) on my life --- DUH. 
3. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. I feel like the title says it all. I recommend this book to so many clients and when the 25th anniversary edition came out this year, I decided to read it again. Gulp. This book kicked my ass, plain and simple.
4. Calypso. Few writers make me laugh out loud like David Sedaris. His stories, especially about his family, are hilarious, and yet sometimes also a punch in the gut. Who needs fiction when I can read stuff like this?!
5. How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question. My favorite show streamed during COVID was The Good Place, and after I finished it I became borderline obsessed with the ideas behind the show and with its creator, Mike Schur. When I heard about this book, which emerged from his work on the show, I snapped it up. His goal was to write a book about philosophy that his teenage children would understand, and that was perfect for me! Check it out.

What Am I Reading? I am almost always working on a few books at a time, so here goes:

• Sabbath as Resistance: Saying No to the Culture of Now. Remember, I mentioned Walter Brueggemann earlier. This book is a stunner. I'm trying not to rush through it. 
• Writers and Their Notebooks. I think I read more about writing than do much actual writing. Oh well. I find this book super interesting. And it's easy to pick up and just read for a few minutes.
• Talent: How to Identify Energizers, Creatives and Winners Around the World. I have not officially started this one, but it's in the hopper. I work with several clients regarding recruiting, interviewing and retention, and this is apparently *the* book of the moment in that arena. Stay tuned.

⁇ 🤔 Questions for the New Year. I will end with this. As I mentioned in last month's post, I am a big fan of journaling, and a great resource for journaling prompts is the therapist Esther Perel. Here are her New Year's prompts:

What are your associations with the “new year”?

Does the promise of new beginnings motivate you?

Does the conclusion of the previous year stress you out?

Do you prefer to bring in the new year dancing with others or in quiet contemplation with yourself? Why?

What area of your life could use more structure?

What area of your life could use more spontaneity?

As I said, I hope these recommendations rev you up for 2023. Thanks for reading -- feel free to pass this along to a friend or coworker. And please send questions or feedback, or set up a free 30-minute consultation, at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers! 

October 2022: Reflect, Resolve, Remote, Recover

I found this illustration humorous -- of course in part because I am a devoted cat owner (shout out to 7 month-old kitten #Otisthecat) but also because I think we all tend to overcomplicate things. My hope is that this blog provides some hacks each month for you to help you wade through the noise and find some simpler solutions to complex issues. So here goes!

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🛠 How to Build a New Leadership Identity. I like this article because it captures some of the tension between transitioning from being an #individualcontributor to becoming a #manager and #leader. Do you have a "leadership identity"? If so, how did you discover and learn to define it?

⏳ Your Career Is Just One-Eighth of Your Life. Here are five pieces of career advice from a reliable source (Derek Thompson at the Atlantic - his podcast Plain English is also on regular rotation for me). Number Four on his five pieces of advice is the one I've especially taken to heart this year. And should you be in a reflective mood about your career and want to delve further, I also recommend this blog post, A Tale of Two Funerals. 

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If you find yourself at a crossroads professionally - you're hitting mid-life, you wonder if you're a good fit, you feel stuck... please go to my calendar and set up a one-time complimentary meeting so we can talk through your coaching options. I have just assembled a "coaching bundle" of various processes that could help you get started in a new direction.

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📉📈 When Success Isn't Success. I’ve had this conversation recently with a couple of people. I have found that an upside (perhaps the only one?!) of the pandemic has been that people have been drawn to the #existentialquestions of life – why am I here? what is my purpose? what is the meaning of life? This podcast certainly doesn’t solve those questions, but the conversation about it all here is very engaging.

🥊 Need Help with Conflict Resolution? I recently surveyed 75 of my clients, both past and present, and one of the things I asked was what specific issues do they need help with now. One of the most frequent responses I received was #conflictresolution. This article won't solve this struggle, but it gives some good baseline principles from which to start. #howtoargue #seektounderstand

🖥 Advice from the CEO of an All-Remote Company. I’ve worked virtually since 2010. I find that the reason #remotework is challenging is because we approach it the same way we do in-person work. Which makes no sense. I’m working hard to help leaders learn how to adapt effectively and think strategically in regard to working remotely. If you like this episode, you may find this article useful as well: 4 Myths about In-Person Work, Dispelled.

🤕 What's Your Grief? We experience all sorts of loss: the passing of loved ones; job loss; the end of a key friendship; the death of a treasured pet; even the disappointment of how much the world has changed since March 2020. This website is a good resource to get started on addressing your grief and loss, which has many layers of complexity. Here's a sample article: The Grief of Non-Death Losses. Additionally, here’s a podcast that provides a glimpse into counseling sessions on a variety of emotional issues: Dear Therapists.

What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while. 

–GRETCHEN RUBIN

Great reminder that our habits and routines matter.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to pass this along to others. 

I am in the midst of compiling some new training and coaching resources for clients after five years of dedicating my efforts full-time to KS Leadership Development, and would love to share them with you if you're interested. Again, just set up a one-time complimentary appointment with me at https://bit.ly/KSLDApptScheduler.  

March 2022: Are We There Yet?

 George Takei (Sulu from Star Trek) posted this on Twitter today:

These past two years have been the longest decade ever.

I could not agree more. Just when we thought Omicron was winding down and COVID-19 was moving from pandemic to endemic stage... we are here, with the first ground war in Europe since WW2. I include this photo simply because it made me smile in the midst of so much sad news. This is the author Margaret Atwood at a protest in Toronto. Between her cat beanie, the Ukraine flag and her impish smile, I was encouraged.

I share this month's links and recommendations with the hope that you will find them motivating, useful, and enlightening:

🌎 The Culture Map. I've recommended this book before... it is currently on sale for cheap on #Kindle (don't delay -- it probably won't last long). I have a small number of tools I use with clients to assist with #leadershipdevelopment and #managementconsulting. This one is in the top three for me. I recommend it HIGHLY.

⏳ We Need Time to Rehabilitate from the Trauma of the Pandemic. Anecdotally, my conversations with several clients verify the recommendations in this article as they start returning to the office, or even just meet together for a 2-3 day meet-up to reconnect. We need to ease back in carefully and intentionally. Also, this one: 6 red flags your body is breaking down from overwork. It is crucial to be mindful of how we are doing. Take a peek at the six red flags and see if any of them apply to you. Why not?

🗣 Interview questions you should be asking if the job is remote. Good questions for both interviewers and interviewees. I have sent this to some clients who are in the job hunt and think they want to find a remote position; I encourage them to really think through their responses. All of the questions are spot on, but questions 6, 7, and 8 are especially insightful. If you are having to shift your team to remote status for the foreseeable future, I recommend using all these questions to set up clear expectations for your collaboration moving forward.

😱 At what age does mental speed slow? OK, maybe I noticed this one because I turned 61 last month... according to this article, it doesn't look so good for my team! 😳 However, I got this one from a client and thankfully it is a bit more optimistic: When Working Harder Doesn’t Work, Time to Reinvent Your Career. This one is a thoughtful spin on the midlife crisis. Make sure to read it.

❤️‍🩹 It's Your Friends Who Break Your Heart. This is a long read, but a worthy subject. So many good insights that were so helpful to read. It gave me hope that I'm not crazy when I think about some of my failed friendships. It also explains why our relationships have suffered during the pandemic.

🙈 And now for something utterly random... From Gretchen Rubin: "One group of product researchers argue that, when it comes to texture preferences, people fall into four groups: chewers, crunchers, suckers, and smooshers. Check out table 4 to find out your texture preference. Apparently, I’m a “smoosher.” I love that word, and I love soft, spreading food textures—Greek yogurt is one of my favorite foods." Personally, I am also a smoosher. Chocolate pudding and cool whip are favorites of mine. Use this article at your next team meeting for a unique (and hilarious?) icebreaker.

❝ ❞Final thoughts. I read this recently from Ryan Holiday:

Don’t work for the external rewards. Because they will not come. Or worse, what does come will not be a reward at all. Instead, do your work because it’s right. Because it’s who you are. Because the alternative is even more unthinkable.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to forward this to friends and colleagues. Send ideas, questions and feedback to me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

November 2021: The Great Reassessment

I am sure you have heard that pundits have named these recent months "The Great Resignation" thanks to the massive shifts happening in the workplace due to the pandemic. Based on the large number of conversations I am having with clients, I would verify that this topic is front and center in the minds of both employees and employers.

Yet I heard something yesterday that resonated with me: a commentator stated that they wish we could rename this current situation The Great Reassessment. Below are some resources I have leaned into personally and with clients as we all use the massive upheaval of last 20+ months to reassess... EVERYTHING.

REFLECTION. 

I find that most people have strong opinions (positive or negative) about journaling... I'll make it clear from the start that I am lifelong journal keeper and have found the practice invaluable to my emotional, mental and spiritual health. I'm still doing that every morning, but recently I've started writing a one-sentence summary at the end of my day, and have found the habit quite refreshing. In part, I got the idea from Gretchen Rubin here. Not sure you need to spend $24.99 on her One-Sentence Journal - you can easily just buy a blank notebook at CVS or open a free online account at Evernote (which is what I do). I also invite you to access my ever-growing folder of Journal Prompts to jumpstart your effort.

34 Mistakes on the Way to 34 Years Old. Yet another way to reflect on your life, yet with a wider lens. I appreciated Ryan Holiday's transparency here. I will also admit that I have not yet managed to harness the energy to do this same exercise because... perhaps I have to add just few more years to 34? 😵‍💫

3 Changes I'm Making to Find Balance. A good podcast for "women of a certain age" on health, hormones and heart.

LEADERSHIP.

Yes, I am endlessly interested in this topic, and while I have read to a surprising number of books on the topic, and listened to a massive (not kidding) podcast episodes about it as well, I remain pleasantly surprised that there are still new insights to be gained on the subject. Here are two really good resources:

The Dave Chang Show: A Training Session with the World's Best Executive Coach. I absolutely LOVED this interview. Lots of good challenges to be found. You may want to listen to it more than once. P.S. I read Dave Chang's memoir, Eat a Peach, on vacation this summer and couldn't put it down. It has a surprising amount of leadership insights in it. Granted, I was also fascinated by his experience in the restaurant industry and his own story regarding mental health, his Korean-American upbringing, his negative experience with Christianity, among other things. 

Coaching Real Leaders with Muriel Wilkins. Admittedly, I've recommended this podcast before, but her second season has been outstanding, so I want to recommend it again. This is a master class in executive coaching, and the topics being covered are SO pertinent. Please check it out.

WORKPLACE HACKS.

I don't quite know what else to name this section. But these are resources that just might help you sharpen your game at work.

8 Tips for Conducting an Excellent Remote Interview. I liked this article because it didn't just give lame, obvious advice -- it was so practical and clearly rooted in experience. And honestly, the questions would be helpful for an in-person interview as well. Pay special attention to the questions on #emotionalintelligence. 

How Emotionally Intelligent People Use the 'Golden Question'. I could have easily posted this article under the "Reflection" section, but we certainly need to keep learning how to be more mindful at work, so here it is. It offers good insights on how to keep learning how to manage our emotions in these intense days. We all need to learn how to slow down, be more self-aware and reflective. If you only have time to read one article from my post, this is the one.

The 31 Best LinkedIn Profile Tips for Job Seekers (and anyone who wants to keep theirs in tip-top shape!). I recommend to all of my clients to keep your resume up-to-date and that includes maintaining (creating?) a substantive LinkedIn profile. This helps in several ways, but here are two motivators, if you need it: if and when a great job opportunity comes along, you will be ready to apply, and not pass it up because you don't have the time or energy to update your resume that is woefully out of date; secondly, headhunters will be able to find you if you have a current profile. Snap to it! P.S. LinkedIn may be the only sane social media platform left out there... if you don't already, I highly recommend that you put a reminder in your calendar to post content at least once a week on LinkedIn and bring some energy to your networking skills. C'mon... it can't hurt!

DOING GOOD.

Final thoughts for this post... I read this lovely quote yesterday from Bishop Michael Curry:

In the United States and in the world, we have different cultures, different politics, different experiences that have shaped our beliefs. But if we can establish that we’re working toward some common good, whether we like each other or not, then we can be brothers and sisters. . . . Let’s all stop worrying about whether we like each other and choose to believe instead that we’re capable of doing good together. . . 

Thanks for reading. Feel free to share it with others. Reach out to me with questions or feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers! 

July 2021: Reflections on Returning

I don't know about you, but I am finding this a rather disorienting time. I am certainly thankful we're not quite as fraught as this time last year (escalating COVID numbers in the US, protests sparked by George Floyd's murder, and a contentious presidential campaign), but things are still complicated and scary. Just checking the news this morning sent chills: a presidential assassination in Haiti, chaos in Afghanistan as the US withdraws troops, rising numbers of bodies found in the condo collapse in Florida. I can chalk up some of the anxiety to the endless 24-hour news cycle, but these are tragedies regardless.

Fun blog post opening, right?! But I cannot try to happy talk my way around what I am hearing. At the same time, I am finding that it all becomes somewhat more manageable if I talk about it with those I trust. This is one of the things I have experienced out of the pandemic -- people are more willing to talk about difficult things more readily. The resources I am listing this month are borne from those conversations and reflections. I hope they prove useful to you too.

The Age of Reopening Anxiety. Sure, there are a TON of articles out there about life post-pandemic. I felt like this one actually had something to say. [Hint: note the new term "cave syndrome."] I especially liked it because it put words to some of the hazy feelings and thoughts I was having. Even better, it's not all gloom and doom. As stated at one point in the piece, "Some individuals’ private lives had benefitted from the slowdown. 'Some people have let themselves discover empty time, and actually inhabit it, and not be pulled into the ever-present temptation to fill it,' he said."

You Can’t Cure Your Employee’s Existential Crisis. But You Can Help. While the previous article addresses more of our personal life challenges as we slowly return from the pandemic, this article is more geared toward the role of leaders and managers in the workplace.

How Do You Ask Good Questions? I suppose this post emerges from a discussion around how to be a good podcast interviewer. But in the spirit of the "I have forgotten how to socialize" dilemma that many are feeling as we return to in-person gatherings, I think this has some good ideas to try out.

What I Am Reading And Listening To. So many different things are occupying my attention right now as I try to process all the crazy going on:

• Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted. I’m semi-obsessed with this book by Suleika Jaouad. My friend Nancy Rust, a writer, recommended this to me. I read it in about 5 days. You know that feeling, where you are reading it when you brush your teeth, go to the bathroom, make breakfast. The experience got extended when she was interviewed on several of my go-to podcasts and I learned even more. She provides profound insights on mortality, purpose in life, writing, suffering, etc. That has prompted great opportunities for reflection. My favorite interview of her was this one with Tim Ferriss. Fun extra: go to Jaouad's website, theisolationjournals.com, and sign up for their free weekly journaling prompts if you are already a journal keeper or want to get started.
• Can't Even: How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation. Anne Helen Peterson provides fascinating (and sometimes cranky) insights on the struggles for Millennials and Gen Z as their early education and work experiences bridge the Great Recession of 2008-2009 and the recent pandemic. These younger generations have gotten a bad rap and clears that up real quick. Wow. She also has a newsletter on Substack that is pretty darn interesting.
• Plenty: Eating Locally on the 100-Mile Diet. This was a re-read for me to provide renewed motivation for good "food hygiene" in terms of eating seasonally, organically, and locally.  I first read this book 10 years ago or so, when I first decided to try eating seasonally and organically. "Locally" is mostly possible, but I have some dietary restrictions that sometimes makes that less possible. But Michael Pollan, in "In Defense of Food," taught me how to shop around the edges of a grocery store.
• The "Sunday Read from the NYTimes." This is a part of The Daily podcast but it's become a regular Sunday habit for me to hear long-form journalism audibly. I recommend this recent episode about the woman who insured we would learn about Van Gogh. Amazing!
• PBS News Hour. Feels less panicked and less dramatic that standard cable news, who feel like they are trying to stir me up hourly into a frenzy. I listen to the podcast while I'm making dinner and get caught up the latest without getting heartburn. I also occasionally listen to BBC World News to make sure my perspective is not too US-centric.
• Smartless. 100% silly, guilty pleasure. Few podcasts make me laugh out loud, but this is one of them. A fun way to unwind. Favorite episode so far: the interview with Maya Rudolph.
  
  
• 
  
  Last but not least: Read about a 70 year old woman who was the first woman to thru-hike the
  Appalachian Trail alone -- and she did it in tennis shoes. Wow. Who knew? Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself, I can think about Emma Gatewood. Sheesh.

Thanks for reading... stay tuned for updates on more recent podcast interviews (I just recorded two this morning!) and coaching conversations. Reach out to me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me with questions or feedback.

July 2020: The Self-Care Edition

I felt some sort of tectonic shift on July 1. I spent time reflecting on how we had just finished the first half of 2020 and what an incredibly difficult and weird time that had been. I wanted to hit restart and move in a different direction. So the conversation I'm having on repeat these days is about how I'm learning to shift from a sprint to a marathon mentality. In other words, when quarantine kicked in near the end of March (WOW, that feels forever ago!) I hunkered down and just pushed hard through sheer adrenaline. This was a new experience, and we all figured it would last just a few weeks, right?

But here we are some four months later, and we ALL need a new plan. I've had experience getting through crises ~ after all, given where I live in California, I've had to evacuate three times since 1990 due to wildfires and I've survived multiple earthquakes. I've also navigated through the suicides and terminal illnesses of those close to me. But this is different. As I've said to several clients, it feels like a slow-motion car crash that never ends. And we all cannot just keep hunkering down. We need to pace ourselves -- this looks like it might last awhile.

So I've been focusing on 5 key questions with clients:

1. Are you sleeping at least 7 to 8 hours per night?
2. Are you getting exercise at least 4 days a week (PS are you getting outside?!)
3. Are you eating intentionally and in healthy ways?
4. Are you seeking consistent social support? (which is no joke under current conditions)
5. Are you pursuing some sort of spiritual practice? It could be meditation, prayer, yoga, circular breathing, journaling...

If you're like me, you've read enough about how to work from home. Now it's time to dig deeper and get more creative about how to not just survive this year, but find new ways to live. Here are some resources I've been passing along to others.

Boundaries. As the various parts of our lives now seem to live in the same place, it is becoming all the more important to learn how to set some healthy boundaries. One of the very best resources over the years has been the simply-titled book Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend. But if you are looking for some short and sweet articles on how to start living out boundaries in practical ways, go to the link at the start of this paragraph. The authors have a great little blog with a bunch of solid articles there.

Managers, Encourage Your Team to Take Time Off. Sure, this article is addressed to managers, and if you are one, take it to heart! But you also may need to advocate for yourself. My friend just took a 4-day, socially-distanced camping trip to get her head and heart cleared after a really difficult few months. Most likely, many of us are mourning the loss of cherished vacation plans this summer. Nevertheless, it is not healthy for us to forgo a break entirely. Employers are finding that workers are actually surprisingly productive as they work from home, but this also means they are not taking some much-needed breaks to unplug and recharge because it feels so complicated.

This article has some valuable ideas for how to be creative in stepping away. I like this quote:

When working from home, encourage your employees to consider “vacations” as tools for focused family time, caregiving, and self-care. Down time is likely to be devoted to supporting good mental health rather than recreation or travel.

The Agile Family Meeting. If you only have time for one article as you scroll through this post, make it this one. It is REAL and PRACTICAL, and touches on something I haven't read many other places. Rather than focus on the very valid difficulties of no school, few childcare options, and parents juggling work and family this summer, this article gives us a truly effective plan. Do not pass this up.


Final Quote. 

“Real leaders” [are] people who “help us overcome the limitations of our own individual laziness and selfishness and weakness and fear and get us to do better, harder things than we can get ourselves to do on our own.” 

David Foster Wallace

Thanks for reading. Send me questions or feedback to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. May your second half of 2020 be... better :) 

Searching for Work, Serving on a Board, and Stepping up in Your Leadership: February 2020

I had to pause when I dated something last Saturday, on February 1, and mumbled to myself, "Where did January go?" I don't know about you, but 2020 seems to be galloping forward and I'm having a hard time keeping up! Nevertheless, I'm thankful for interesting work and great conversations with clients. Once again, I came across some good stuff along the way and want to share it with you.

Are You in a Job Search? Purely out of curiosity, throughout January I tried to be intentional in asking people if they made any resolutions. Several mentioned some variation of "I want to be in a different job by this time next year." I know full well that it is pretty darn hard to jump start that process, so I came across two helpful resources in quick succession that might prove valuable if you need some help getting going:

• The Best Cover Letter Examples for Every Type of Job Seeker. Perhaps it's been a minute (or a decade?) since you have looked for a JOB job and you're feeling a little rusty... do you look on Monster? LinkedIn? Indeed? Craigslist? And what about a cover letter? Do they even care about such things?? Before you start hyperventilating, go slow and start with this link. There are multiple subarticles and examples here to get your wheels turning.
• How to Leverage an Offer... with Grace. On the other hand, perhaps you are not looking for work, but headhunters came looking for you. I think this podcast episode is a genuine, relaxed conversation that plays out several different possible scenarios. Worth a listen, at least for first 10 minutes. Best piece of advice, plain and simple: "Know what you want going in." Tune back in around the 20 minute mark for a call related to when to make a job change. PS This podcast is an easy and interesting conversation week after week about workplace issues. You may want to subscribe?

Are You Ready to Serve on a Board? Whether you want to give something back to your community or you are looking for a way to amplify your experience and resume, serving on a board could be a great next step. Though this article is targeted more toward those looking to serve on a corporate board, nevertheless the questions it asks are worth your consideration, even if you are just serving with your favorite little local non-profit, given the fiscal responsibilities we are now all exposed to when one takes on such a role. PS I've posted this article within a whole folder of board resources on my KSLD Resources drive, so feel free to look around for more articles and resources on a wide variety of topics.

Favorite Management Tips from HBR, 2019. This is a helpful compilation of key management tips from Harvard Business Review. You can use the ideas to populate your training meetings or even your staff meetings with your managers. Have fun!

20 Ways to Waste Time During the Day. Many (all??) of us struggle to maintain productivity and focus during the day. Clients often ask me for help in getting them to manage their time more effectively ~ do you know of a new app, a new time management system, a book, heck, even a gimmick, to help me knock down my massive list of to-do's? While I can pull from several tools, sometimes I recommend that you just take some time to put the mirror on yourself and look at some of the patterns and habits you have fallen into that need some attention. This list of twenty ways can be a good self-check and wake-up call. Personally, #3 and #11 are things I tend to do, and I'm currently trying to address them accordingly. How's by you?

What Am I Reading? Currently I'm reading The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. After hearing the author interviewed on a podcast and having someone else mention it in a conversation, I took that as a prompt to pick up the book. I'm taking it slowly, but it is powerful stuff. I am also quite confident that I will be applying its insights in my work, since the issues of stress management comes up so frequently with those I work with. We have become very disconnected from our bodies, yet they often end up screaming back at us to get our attention. WOW.

Final thoughts. I can't quite figure who actually said this because The Google credits several with its origin. Nevertheless, I find it concise and true:

Leadership is an action, not a position.

Feel free to pass this blog post along to others, and I welcome your feedback. Contact me with questions and comments at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading!

Crisis Management, Career Change and Counseling Needs in the Workplace: Oct 2019

Greetings! It feels like September blew by in the wink of an eye. I find myself in conversations with clients about year-end planning and I am slowly setting some 2020 dates in my calendar.  Yikes.

Before I get ahead of myself, I want to share some recent resources that stirred the pot for me and some clients.


Crisis Management 101. I shared last month that sometimes it feels like when I am not talking about how to develop leadership in employees, I am talking to clients about interpersonal conflict in their office. Often I am invited to assist my clients when there is a "crisis." More than anything, I try to remain a non-anxious presence to remind them that no one is bleeding and that "hair on fire" panicked leadership only worsens the anxiety in the system. This article builds on that in some ways, and provides a good baseline of reminders.

4 Ways to Manage a Needy Employee.  I loved the opening paragraph of this article:

These days, there’s lots of discussion about the importance of leaders being more vulnerable and creating psychologically safe work environments in which people can share their feelings. But what happens when someone takes that too far?

I am encountering this issue more and more with clients. Perhaps it is because some people do not have work/life balance, because work IS life? Also possibly, because I find that many younger adults are more free to share about their personal lives in the workplace. Regardless of the reasons, this article has some excellent reminders about how to manage that team member that over-shares and brings their stuff to the office. I found another brief (but good) article related to this issue as it pertains to maintaining professional distance.

6 Fears You'll Have as an Older Career Changer (and How to Overcome Them). I made a major career change at age 47. I discovered MANY things in that process. First of all, "mid-life crisis" is a thing! Secondly, technology is causing the workplace to change at an exponential pace. I had to learn new skills (video conferencing, 1099 income, "branding"?? to name a few...) and have walked friends through these changes as well. This article gets REAL about the many fears one faces in such a transition. Read it and pass it along to others.

Managing Distributed Teams. OK, so this one doesn't fit into the "C" words in this month's post, but it's really valuable if you work with others around the country and around the world, like many of my clients. It's only half an hour ~ set aside work for a brief bit and take notes.

Recipe of the Month: Traybake Chicken. This is for sure my favorite go-to meal in a pinch. Almost every vegetable possible can work.  I made it last night with squash, zucchini, onion, mushrooms, cauliflower and broccoli. The best part of that that all is that you only have the sheet pan to clean.

Final thoughts ~ on leadership.

“The leader is the guardian of unity. He or she must thirst for unity and work for it day and night. For this, the leader must not fear conflict, but rather accept it and strive to be an instrument of reconciliation: the leader must be in contact with all the different elements in the community, and particularly with those who are in pain or who are angry with the community.”

–Jean Vanier, “Leadership,” Called to Community

Please feel free to forward this to others, and contact me with questions or feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading!