⚡️ April 2024: Big News, Building Habits, Being Better

🗣️ BIG NEWS! I'm happy to report that I have been asked by Madecraft to create a video training series for them this spring on how to provide encouraging and empowering #leadership and #management to #GenZ employees! 🎉 I will keep you posted on when and where it will be released -- some time this summer. So excited for this new opportunity.

I don't know if it's Daylight Savings or a decrease in the heavy Southern California rains, but my energy level has picked up and I have encountered an absolute boatload (ton, oodles, slew, plethora, the whole enchilada, you name it!) of resources that I've used with clients, so this month's post is going to be a ⚡️ round of suggestions for you to check out. Here goes!

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🚼 Investing in the Development of Young, Remote Employees. I have started to develop the video course on managing Gen Z employees in the midst of teaching an internship course this semester for 20-22 year olds preparing to enter the workplace. Let's just say that #GenZ is #nojoke! I found this article practical and pertinent.

🧱 Building New Habits in Small Steps. Here’s a worksheet from PositivePsychology.com that reflects some of the coaching I often do with clients around implementing a needed change. What do you think?

🌎 The World Can Be Better. This came up during an #EqualPay zoom discussion with one of my clients. I really liked it - it compels me to reflect, accept reality, and work for more, all at the same time.

🪓 Task Chunking. Here's a great newsletter from my hero, Oliver Burkeman, about taking on HUGE, intimidating #projects in small increments. I refer to it by the highly technical term of “task chunking.” #15minutes **#timechunking **#anxiety #timemanagement

👀 How to Make Sure Your Resume Gets Seen. #fightthebots #keywords #cleardesign

🤖 Using AI to Prep for Job Interviews. YIKES: it is hard to keep up with how AI is changing the work landscape. But here are some KEY tips to using AI to prep for a job interview.

🔮 21st Century Workplace Predictions. I know, I know, everyone is making #predictions about the 21st century #workplace, but this conversation reflects what I am seeing in real time with my clients. Take 36 minutes to listen, especially if you’re considering a #careerpivot.

👍🏼 How to Engage & Retain Tenured Employees. What I liked about this article:

• It validates the importance of wellbeing, something organizations endorse but do not always implement in a consistent or strategic way;
• It validates the need for employee engagement and pulse surveys;
• However, it also endorses the importance of selecting the right questions for engagement surveys, and provides key categories that need to be covered;
• It confirms the value of a sabbatical program.

This article is a good jumpstart for companies who need to figure out how to hang on to their most experienced people. So much energy is put into recruiting and hiring and for some reason I tend to see far less investment in #retention. A big “front door” is no good if you have a big “back door” of turnover as well.

❝ ❞ Final Thoughts. I'm going for existential today as I finish up. The world is incredibly complicated and overwhelming. I found solace (and motivation) in these words:

“Today it is not nearly enough merely to be a saint; but we must have the saintliness demanded by the present moment, a new saintliness.”  

Twentieth-century mystic and philosopher Simone Weil

October 2023: Happiness, How-to's, Hidden Potential

🤔 Using ChatGPT to Make Better Decisions. As I inch my way in to understanding and using #AI more, I plan to share the articles I find most useful. This quote captures the value of this article: "...while it may be tempting to merely ask ChatGPT for answers, the real power of LLMs is how they can assist at each stage [of #decisionmaking]." Much of my #coaching involves listening to my #clients and helping them figure out what are the true issues they are dealing with, so this resource becomes a valuable option to work through a complex question or concern. (PS I prefer ClaudeAI to ChatGPT)

🤡 Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy. Before you give a hard pass on this, hear me out. This is not a discussion about the emotion of being happy; it's about finding happiness, AKA "fulfillment" or "meaning," in life. Big difference! I will be the first to admit that a) this is a l-o-n-g interview, so I recommend breaking it up, and b) I often find Tim Ferriss annoying (skip the section where Tim fanboys Brooks' fitness 🙄)... Nevertheless, there is tons of good content that goes in several different directions and is very thought-provoking.

🌎 How to Influence Across Cultures. I have mentioned on this blog before that much of my work involves connecting with clients in many other countries. I have learned a great deal in the last several years about what it takes to work across cultures. I have also mentioned previously here that I have benefited greatly from Erin Meyers' research found in her book The Culture Map, and have repeatedly recommended her interview on Armchair Expert. Another interview in that vein (a bit more sedate than Dax Shepard on Armchair and entirely business-focused) can be found on the episode of Coaching for Leaders that I have linked here. I am bringing this up again because the applications I gained from these resources are more pertinent than ever today as we continue to expand globally (and virtually) in how work is done.  While I’m at it, I also recommend this brief article on the distinct differences in meaning between the terms “multi-cultural,” “cross-cultural,” and “intercultural.”

💤 How to slow down and find some meaningful rest. I wish I'd kept count of the hundreds of times I have had conversations with clients and friends about fatigue and the need for rest. It is a constantly recurring theme, to say the least. I highly recommend this link of an interview on slowing down and the seven forms of rest that we actually need. While you're at it, take the Rest Quiz mentioned in the conversation, which I have recommended before. Heck, if you want to keep pondering this topic, here is an article this week from New Yorker magazine as well. I like the lede: "Requiring rest, rather than work, is still a radical idea."

✅ Hidden Potential Assessment. If you have worked with me, you know I like useful assessments, and if you've read at least a few of my blog posts, you know I appreciate the work of Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist who seeks "to explore the science of making work not suck" (his own description). He has a new book coming out - here's the blurb: "His latest book, Hidden Potential, explores how to build the skills and structures to achieve greater things, and how to create opportunities for those who have been overlooked. We can all improve at improving – and when opportunity doesn’t knock, there are ways to build a door." That concept of "constant improvement" intrigues me. He's lecturing here in Santa Barbara on November 16 and I plan on going. (PS If you take the assessment, share your results with me and I'll share mine!)

❓Team-Building Question for the Month. As I said last month, I strongly suggest using creative ice-breaker questions on a consistent basis to help create a warmer, fun, collegial, maybe even mildly vulnerable work vibe. One team I work with calls this exercise "Thursday Thoughts" on their Teams thread and they have agreed to respond within 24 hours once the question is posted. Here is a question for the month: 

What's the last thing that made your face light up?
(Yes, like, really excited when you talked about it.)

My response:
I got to go to the Coldplay concert at the Rose Bowl last weekend. Singing loudly with 60,000 others is a good thing to do every once in awhile!

✍🏾 Journal Prompt for the Month. I take time every morning to journal. I don't write a ton on most days, but I try to take a few minutes each time to check in on myself: Anything staying with me from the day before? Anything on my mind about what I'm heading into today? How is my body feeling? What am I thinking about? This practice helps me prepare for my day by becoming present, and addressing anything that might interfere with my interactions with others.

I coach nearly every client to consider doing this, so I want to include a journal prompt here each month to get you started:

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

The link I've included sends you to the folder of journal prompts I make available to clients, if you need more ideas.

Thanks for reading ~ feel free to share this with a friend or co-worker. Send questions or feedback to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!

February 2023: Listening... a LOT!

Aaaannndddd.... 2023 is off and running! I'm not even sure where January went. Phew. Usually this is a relatively slow month for me as clients take their time to get back in the swing of things after the holidays, but that lasted for all of one week this time, and then the requests to meet kicked in. Which I'm obviously thankful for!

As I look over this month's recommendations, I did not realize until I saw the entire list that there seems to be the pervasive theme of LISTENING, whether it's an informative podcast, tips on communicating better in a digital world, a story about paying attention, or understanding others who live life very differently from you. I hope you enjoy them -- I sure did.

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🧐 The science of happiness, with Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. This is a very robust conversation, and had many highlights for me. Listen to it and learn more about #resilience, "anti-fragility," figuring out your #calling, and what does it actually mean to be #happy. 

🫢 Intent versus impact: a formula for better communication. Much of my #coaching right now is focused on equipping #managers on how to lead their #remoteteams. One often-neglected aspect of this is how to best #communicate because so much can be lost or misunderstood in #digital messaging. This article provides some clarity and next steps. It could be a spark for a good virtual team discussion on how you want to best communicate moving forward.

👂🏽You Have to Learn to Listen. My favorite read of this month. The title says it all. It's a long read but WELL worth the time. I think it's behind a paywall, so here is a PDF version. As we are bombarded by apps, news, devices, stress and just too much noise overall, we can lose our capacity to truly hear someone. This story is tremendously compelling. Do not miss it.

👨🏽‍🦳 👱🏽‍♂️ Gen Z in the Workplace. This is a conversation between a Gen X father and a Gen Z son. Being a #Boomer myself yet having worked with young adults my entire adult life, I often function as a translator between the generations. I found this conversation very engaging and enlightening.

🎧 Science-backed productivity playlists to help you dive into deep work. I don't know about you, but I usually need some instrumental music in the background to really focus when I have to.

🤝 Team-Building Questions and Activities, January 2023. Every few months I try to generate a new list of questions and simple activities to use to help foster deeper connections between groups. I hope you find these helpful - please let me know which ones worked best!

December 2022: Gearing Up for What's Ahead

I cannot say that I will miss 2022. It was a rough year for a lot of people: more COVID, Mpox, RSV, war in Ukraine, layoffs, inflation, political tensions... for me, it was dominated by a severely broken ankle in May from which I am still recovering. The word of the year is apparently gaslighting. Bleah. My personal word of the year is physical therapy. Bleah again.

Sadly, we felt the same buh-bye feelings about 2021... 2020... so I'm cautiously (skeptically? tentatively? desperately?) optimistic for better news in 2023. In the meantime, I encourage us all to do some reflecting in these dark, cold winter days. I find it so important every year to take some time to pull the lens back and look back over my calendar, my journal, and world events in the past year and get my bearings for the one to come.

So my first recommendation builds on that idea, and then I throw in some other ones that sparked conversations with clients and fodder for new presentations. Tell me what you think!

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✍🏾 Journaling Prompts. As I have shared more than once here, I am a massive fan of journaling. Personally, I use Evernote, having given up on writing things down years ago because I ran out of room in my condo to store all the #@(#& journals. But I also found, in talking with many clients, that they often have earnest desires to journal but are quickly stalled with the pressing question of "What do I journal about?" So here I am with a multitude of prompts, links and opportunities. And I want to put a special endorsement on the prompts I've collected from Esther Perel, a therapist who has intriguing podcasts and whose interviews I have enjoyed. I think these might be just what you need to spark some energy to journal on a deeper level. You may want to bookmark this journal prompts link because I update it relatively regularly. Just do it!!

😡 What is Emotional Labor? I find the correct concept of emotional labor to be very helpful especially when working with clients who are customer-facing. Across the board, I am hearing from those clients that interactions escalate quickly when there is any sort of frustration, and that they are not equipped to deal with the barrage of anger and antagonism. Furthermore, it creates massive stress because they are not able to respond in kind (nor should they). But that is remarkably taxing and that has caused some significant churn within the workplace – it feels like someone is always quitting out of exhaustion and frustration and those remaining are having to adjust to new people and more onboarding. Further content can be found here: The Concept Creep of Emotional Labor and The Power of Non-Anxious Presence. Bottom line: we have got to learn how to settle down interpersonal communication in every area of our lives: family, friends, colleagues, customers. Closing in on 3 years of challenging world events has worn us down and made us more reactive and less resilient. Let's work together in 2023 to regain some patience, generosity and civility.

🛑 Urgency Doesn't Exist. Frequent readers know I am a massive fan of Oliver Burkeman, who wrote my favorite book of 2022, 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. I stalk him a bit online and subscribe to his newsletter. This link on urgency was a great reminder. Please read the entire post (don't worry, it's not long), but may this little quote tease you: "The first and most obvious sense in which urgency isn’t what it seems is that virtually none of the things that generate that knot-in-the-stomach feeling are the matters of life-or-death we tend to assume." Exactly.

💬 Cringe quiz: Are you fluent in Gen-Z office speak? Gearing up to teach another course in January to college seniors, along with my work with some under-25 clients and heck, communicating with my 22 and 24 year old niece and nephew, I took this #genz quiz. Good luck! (PS I got 4 out of 6 right... but I doubt I really get it.)

☮️ Wellbeing at Work? I like this new trend toward #wellbeingatwork. Sadly, I am not convinced that it will continue though... Favorite quote: "The equation is simple: The greater the wellbeing of your employees, the greater the wellbeing of your organization. That’s not just good for your employees; it’s good for your business." #culture #employeeengagement

👯‍♂️ Body Doubling. This may be an unfamiliar term to you -- it's certainly new to me. But for my clients who are #neurodivergent, this has proven helpful. For those who might struggle with focus, self-motivation, or executive function (prioritizing), body doubling can provide some assistance in remaining on task. As the article states, "You can body double in person, over the phone, via video chat, or even through text. The knowledge that someone is 'present' and aware that you are doing the task is intended to increase motivation and follow-through." Sort of like studying with a reliable friend in college. Try it out?

I hope you and yours get some good space to rest and restore some sense of hope and purpose for the new year. Thank you as always for reading -- feel free to pass it along to someone else. Reach out to me with questions or feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Buh-bye 2022!

October 2022: Reflect, Resolve, Remote, Recover

I found this illustration humorous -- of course in part because I am a devoted cat owner (shout out to 7 month-old kitten #Otisthecat) but also because I think we all tend to overcomplicate things. My hope is that this blog provides some hacks each month for you to help you wade through the noise and find some simpler solutions to complex issues. So here goes!

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🛠 How to Build a New Leadership Identity. I like this article because it captures some of the tension between transitioning from being an #individualcontributor to becoming a #manager and #leader. Do you have a "leadership identity"? If so, how did you discover and learn to define it?

⏳ Your Career Is Just One-Eighth of Your Life. Here are five pieces of career advice from a reliable source (Derek Thompson at the Atlantic - his podcast Plain English is also on regular rotation for me). Number Four on his five pieces of advice is the one I've especially taken to heart this year. And should you be in a reflective mood about your career and want to delve further, I also recommend this blog post, A Tale of Two Funerals. 

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If you find yourself at a crossroads professionally - you're hitting mid-life, you wonder if you're a good fit, you feel stuck... please go to my calendar and set up a one-time complimentary meeting so we can talk through your coaching options. I have just assembled a "coaching bundle" of various processes that could help you get started in a new direction.

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📉📈 When Success Isn't Success. I’ve had this conversation recently with a couple of people. I have found that an upside (perhaps the only one?!) of the pandemic has been that people have been drawn to the #existentialquestions of life – why am I here? what is my purpose? what is the meaning of life? This podcast certainly doesn’t solve those questions, but the conversation about it all here is very engaging.

🥊 Need Help with Conflict Resolution? I recently surveyed 75 of my clients, both past and present, and one of the things I asked was what specific issues do they need help with now. One of the most frequent responses I received was #conflictresolution. This article won't solve this struggle, but it gives some good baseline principles from which to start. #howtoargue #seektounderstand

🖥 Advice from the CEO of an All-Remote Company. I’ve worked virtually since 2010. I find that the reason #remotework is challenging is because we approach it the same way we do in-person work. Which makes no sense. I’m working hard to help leaders learn how to adapt effectively and think strategically in regard to working remotely. If you like this episode, you may find this article useful as well: 4 Myths about In-Person Work, Dispelled.

🤕 What's Your Grief? We experience all sorts of loss: the passing of loved ones; job loss; the end of a key friendship; the death of a treasured pet; even the disappointment of how much the world has changed since March 2020. This website is a good resource to get started on addressing your grief and loss, which has many layers of complexity. Here's a sample article: The Grief of Non-Death Losses. Additionally, here’s a podcast that provides a glimpse into counseling sessions on a variety of emotional issues: Dear Therapists.

What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while. 

–GRETCHEN RUBIN

Great reminder that our habits and routines matter.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to pass this along to others. 

I am in the midst of compiling some new training and coaching resources for clients after five years of dedicating my efforts full-time to KS Leadership Development, and would love to share them with you if you're interested. Again, just set up a one-time complimentary appointment with me at https://bit.ly/KSLDApptScheduler.  

August 2021: Adapt or Die!

My goal is to get these new posts out by the start of a new month. Given that it is August 11, apparently that didn't work out this month! The "return to work" (or not) has kept me busy as teams and workplaces keep having to adjust and cope and manage crises day by day. To quote the Billy Beane character in Moneyball, "Adapt or die." 

So here I am with lots of new resources that I have already tested with clients. I hope you find them useful!

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🧰 Tools for communication, collaboration, creativity and connection as you continue to figure out work during a pandemic. New ones are emerging daily as we keep adapting. Check these out.

• 🖥  5 Types Of Meetings That Should Always Be Async (And 5 That Shouldn’t). If we were in person, my voice would slowly raise in volume and intensity as I talked about this because I am NOT seeing most workplaces adapting wisely when it comes to remote work. Take 7 minutes to read this article and then spend some time evaluating whether you have effective collaborative software in place. Teams need to shift much more work to shared docs (Google Drive, SharePoint, OneDrive, Dropbox, etc) and commit to doing work asynchronously (ahem, read the article if that isn't a familiar word to you). If you and your team make this change, you will find meetings need to be LESS FREQUENT and MORE EFFECTIVE. Who doesn't want that?! If you need further info to be convinced, read this article too: When Do We Actually Need to Meet in Person.
• 🤝 Work friends make life happier. Here’s how to make them when you’re remote. When coaching clients in trust-building on their teams, I talk about making sure that each person commits to having non-transactional conversations with co-workers on a regular basis. More often than not, the person I'm talking to squinches their nose and resists that idea. Invariably, it turns out that they don't really know how to jumpstart those sorts of conversations. This article gives some fresh ideas. In case you want and need more ideas, I liked this one too.
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  ⁉️ Need even more questions for those meetings where you're trying to get to know others better at work? I have created two different worksheets for this need. Check out Team-Building Exercises and 25 Questions. PLEASE let me know what you think and whether they were effective.
• ⏳ The three-or-four-hours rule for getting creative work done. I would say one of the more challenging things to do in this time of increasing virtual engagement at work and 24-hour availability via technology is to simply be able to F-O-C-U-S on deep work when you need to be creative. This article isn't a roadmap on precisely how to do it, but it does validate your need for it and provide some resources for further exploration of the subject.
• 🔬Micro Habit Stacking: 25 Small Changes To Improve Your Life. I do #12 almost every day, without fail.

🎧 📺 What I'm watching and listening to. As we struggle with still having to stay home more than we expected at this point in the pandemic, at least there are many good choices out there...

1. Tim Ferriss' interview of the writer Anne Lamott. As a permanently recovering English major, I have loved Anne Lamott's writing, which is hilarious, poignant, challenging, and very real. She puts things into words that completely capture what I'm feeling and that has been deeply helpful on many occasions. I've gone to several of her book readings over the years and she has several stories she's told multiple times, but in this interview I got to hear some things I've never heard her share or read about in her books. It is long and meandering at times, but if you want to learn about writing, or how to recover from difficulty, manage a complicated family history, or remain in recovery, this one is for you.
2. Summer of Soul. This film is so moving on so many levels. I don't want to say much about it. The music alone is sublime. Just watch it.
3. The Knowledge Project podcast. This is a new addiction. It's a deep dive on the nuances and challenges of leadership in 2021. Jeff Immelt's description of leadership in a crisis should not be missed. Dig it.
4. The Vanishing of Harry Pace on Radiolab. Wow, this one captivated me. It took some cool left turns too. I couldn't stop listening.

Phew! Enough for now. Keep these words in front of you as you persevere...

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul alike. (John Muir)

Feel free to reach out with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.  Thanks for reading!

 

WAIT List, June 2021: Project Management

I have been committed to providing content for clients on this site monthly, and the feedback I'm receiving is positive. With that in mind, I want to try adding another component to this site: a monthly coaching conversation related to "What Am I Talking about with clients." In other words, a "WAIT" list. [Too corny? Let me know. Seriously] So here goes -- a topic that has come up multiple times in the last few weeks, so perhaps it's coming up for you as well?

Certainly, most (if not all) of us are currently navigating the unknown waters of post-pandemic return. We had some workable routines that emerged during these many months, and it is honestly a little jarring to have to adjust again. Offices are trying to figure out hybrid schedules, some people are timidly re-entering commutes (some for the first time, since they took the position during the pandemic), others are feeling the challenges of back-to-the-office requirements just as school is ending. YIKES.

More than ever, we need help with our calendars as we juggle multiple priorities. As one client told me bluntly today, "we need training on prioritization and time management." This is certainly a longer conversation, and each of us has our own unique circumstances, but I want to share three key elements that I use, and have shared, with many people.

1. 🏔 THE SUMMIT. This HAS to be your starting point. For the first time you do this, you may need to set aside three hours to really dig in -- but trust me, It. Is. Worth. It. I call this step the "summit" because I am asking you to climb a proverbial hill and get the 30,000' perspective on your life. 
   
   The best place to start is to select your main five priorities in your life. That might be family, health, faith, work, hobbies. Or it could be friends, exercise, community service, career, cooking. You get the picture. Slow down and take the time to really drill down and decide the 5 areas you want and need to spend most of your time on. PS Notice how work or career is only ONE of the five.
   
   Then I strongly recommend that you start a mind map. Please try doing this digitally, since digital mind maps are easier to edit and refine, and go with you everywhere.  My two favorite sites are mind42.com (free!) and MindMeister ($50-$100/year, but more bells and whistles - ask about the academic discount). Put yourself in the first, main bubble. Then create 5 separate branch bubbles off of your central bubble for your main five priorities. Once that is done, go to town! Start downloading all the hamster wheels spinning in around in your head, creating further bubbles on the mind map. Nothing is too small! Put it ALL there. PRO TIP: sync your computer with your big screen TV or if you have it, a video projector, and cast the whole crazy mess onto a large space so you can see everything. You truly need to get the big picture.
   
   
   
2. 📋 PROJECTS. Once you lay everything out on the mind map, start identifying the projects you are responsible for, especially when it comes to work, but for everything else too. For me, I start with each of my clients. Then I break down the various projects I have going with each client. Then I also note the projects in my personal life: my meal plans for the week, home projects, travel, exercise, books I want to read, etc.
   
   Then this is a crucial step: identify a project management software (PMS) to use. Personally, I use Trello. But there are a BUNCH out there: Asana, Basecamp, MS Projects and Planner, etc. Here's the deal: most of my clients get stuck here. They focus too much on TASKS, and not where they should be, on PROJECTS. We tend to get lost in the weeds when we focus on individual tasks, rather than clustering and organizing tasks together into projects. (The latter step is especially crucial when you're collaborating with others.) If you don't pick up what I'm laying down, read this brief article: it's an ad for ClickUp, another PMS option, but it does a good job 'splaining things.
   
   I have collected a bunch of resources on how to set up Trello here: I like it because it is visually stimulating (thus keeping my attention better than lots of bullet lists), and it has a GREAT phone app. 
   
   Take the time to load up your projects onto the project management software, delineating all the tasks you can think of. If you're really feeling it, try to put due dates on those tasks.
   
   
   
3. ✍🏾 SCHEDULING. NOW is the fun part. Every Sunday afternoon or evening, I take 60-90 minutes and map out my week. I basically hike part way up the Summit and see where things are. I look over my mind map to note any changes or make updates, then I review my projects to figure out what I am doing for that week, and then I put those responsibilities in my calendar. If I am giving a presentation (usually already on my calendar), I set aside two hours to create it. If I am part of book club, I schedule an hour to read the darn book. If I have a review scheduled with someone, I set aside an hour on my calendar to prepare for it. Get the picture?

There you have it. It's a bit of a heavy lift on the front end, but creates a structure that is relatively easy to maintain. I could and perhaps should add a 4th element: I review my work at the end of each day, making sure I completed all the tasks I scheduled myself to do. If not, I find a new place for them on my calendar!

Hope this got your wheels turning and perhaps even motivated to try it. Contact me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me with your questions, or to set up an appointment to get some assistance. Cheers! 🥂

APRIL 2021: Develop. Survive. Thrive. Reset.

I've gotten my first Pfizer shot, 2nd one is due soon and I cut 3 inches off my pandemic hair. The times, they are a-changing! I'm excited in some ways as things slowly open up, and concurrently concerned by the premature cancellation of mask-wearing, Spring Break travel busting out all over, and the variants. Eeesh.

As always, I've plowed a bunch of great tools and resources. Here goes!

Leadership Development. This is my favorite topic to talk about... so much so that I got interviewed on a podcast about it! And apparently the response was so strong (most downloads in their season after 1 1/2 days) that they asked me to come back for more. Thank you to those who listened. Upcoming interviews will be on burnout, remote team-building, and the how's and why's of leadership development (intern programs, onboarding, management training, performance reviews and about 15 other things!). Stay tuned.

More resources for leadership development:

• How to Step In as an Interim Manager. I have used this with a couple of clients and they found it very useful, as a sort of roadmap to get started.
• What I Learned from Taking Fridays Off. I liked this article because it's written by a seasoned leader, not a younger worker who just wants more time to mess around with friends (not that that is bad, but I'm well past that stage!) I've found that my stamina is so different as I've gotten older, and I need more time to decompress and "re-create." This article captures some of the issues around that.
• Coaching Real Leaders. This is my new favorite podcast (and I love me some podcasts!). I want to be Muriel Wilkins when I grow up.
  
• Most Requested Leadership Development Resources. I've done a little spring-cleaning on my website, and if you look to the right of this post --> --> -->, you'll see a boatload of the docs that clients request most from me. There are some gems in there. Have fun! Tell me which ones work for you and why.

Surviving and Thriving. I do wonder how we will all do as things shift beyond the pandemic. There is certainly no going "back" to the ways things were, but I can't tell what it will be like as we move forward. I think it might be like my experience during every finals week in college, when I pushed really hard with the carrot of knowing that I'd get to have a break... and promptly got sick as soon as I finished! I think once we let our guards down that some stuff might bubble to the surface. Let's be kind to ourselves and others as life unfolds...

• Beyond Burned Out. From the HBR "Big Idea" research for March/April 2021. I appreciated having an official definition of burnout, plus a reminder that it's not just an employee problem, but also an organizational one. Additionally, they offer interventions to avoid sustained burnout. A few other tidbits:
• Millennials have the highest levels of burnout.
• One of the greatest needs of employees is an empathetic manager.
• Leaders need to get the right systems in place NOW, before the NEXT crisis happens.
• CEO Stress, Aging, and Death. I know, I know, not a happy times title, but useful research here.
• Letters from Esther Perel: Routines and Rituals. Renowned therapist and relationship guru provides great questions for reflecting on the impact of the pandemic over the last year.
• Which small changes in pandemic habits will stick? Again, "don't waste the pandemic." Use this tumultuous experience to reflect, reset, reboot.

Mental Floss. We all need to take a breather during our days. Rather than mindlessly scroll through social media, try these...

• Celebrate random holidays with your team. Map these out throughout the calendar and use them to build fun, trust and good times.
• Team-Building Activities. And while you're building fun times into your team's calendar, use my team-building activities worksheet.
• Atlas Obscura podcast. This is a great way to imaginatively travel to new places in 15 minutes or less.

June 2019: Trust, To-Do's and To-Don'ts

My work life was 100% with students for almost 30 years. Summer was often a bittersweet time for me then because they would be SO excited to have time off and assume the same for me. So when they would ask me what my plans were for the summer, I would have to fight hard to not just slump my shoulders and say, "more work!"

So as we approach summer, let's commit to ending work on time as much as possible in order to live into that summertime spirit.  Look for special festivals and events in your community, schedule a walk with a family member or friend after dinner and do your best to eat dinner occasionally outside in the (hopefully) cooling air.

In the meantime, here are my best recommendations for June 2019!

TRUST. I have two very different resources that both speak to the utterly crucial issue of trust:

1. How Leaders Around the World Build Trust Across Cultures. Harvard Business Review does it yet again with this excellent article. Currently I have one client with offices in four different countries (let's just imagine what it's like to schedule online meetings across time zones that are in total 14 hours apart!), another trying to harmonize leaders from multiple ethnicities and cultures, and yet another with clients around the globe as they seek to promote sustainable practices. ALL of us are working across cultures both locally and globally and simply put, "Many managerial positions require frequent communication with employees from around the world, but building trust across cultures can be difficult. Still, it is vitally important; when individuals trust one another, they can work together effectively regardless of cultural differences." A huge portion of my work involves teaching and training others to learn the soft skills of listening, dealing with conflict, and building teams of very different people. This article does a good job of laying down some key principles. Use it in an executive staff meeting to start a conversation around this important topic.
2. John Green: Chronic Not Curable. John Green is the author of The Fault in Our Stars. This is a podcast interview from Kate Bowler. I binge-listened to the first season of this podcast on a long hike in Grand Teton National Park last year. I cannot recommend it enough.  If you are not familiar with Kate, here is a description from her website: In 2015, I was unexpectedly diagnosed with Stage IV cancer at age 35. In a New York Times op-ed, I wrote about the irony of being an expert in health, wealth and happiness while being ill. One of the most crucial ways to build trust with someone is to commit to learning how to walk carefully and slowly and persistently with them as they face hardship. Sadly, I have had the privilege of doing this many times through my life and I am most definitely a better person because of it. This podcast does a good job of teaching about how to build trust with someone over the long haul, especially when they are dealing with mental illness.

TO-DO's. 

One of the best things about me is that I am very productive. One of the worst things about me is that I am very productive. Yes, those two work in constant tension. If you ask me to do something, there is a very, very good chance that I will follow through without needing to be reminded. However, I also am essentially compulsive about needing to measure every day's value (work day, weekend, holiday, it doesn't matter) according to how much I am able to accomplish. 

One of the ways this shows itself is  in my constant hunt for the best productivity app. I am always looking for new ways to quantify all the things I need to do, and to maintain the various checklists I am endlessly creating. If you are like me, I HAVE A GREAT APP FOR YOU. It is called Daylio. It is clean and simple and the best part of all is that it is entirely customizable. I'm using it to track some daily habits I want to maintain in terms of health, exercise, and self-care. Let me know if you end up using it. I have already converted my friend Nance to it. Let's start a club!

TO-DON'Ts

This is my new favorite phrase! I am not sure who coined it first but it is tremendous. As much as I enjoy my to-do lists (see above), I have also learned over the years which things I will not and cannot do. These are two excellent articles, one geared for self-management and the other for leaders, to understand how to focus.

1. Is your to-do list making you nuts? Start a to-don’t list instead — with inspiration from author Adam Grant.  This is a highly practical and convincing article. I am especially enamoured of point number two. Recently I realized I was using social media to just zone out more than once during my day. I have now decided to only check social media once a day and actually put a timer on for 5 minutes while I do it. See what stands out to you in this article. 
2. The Work You Must Stop Doing. This blog is barebones, but I like it. This post starts with this: "You're a leader running a business unit, a function, or an entire organization. You know that your job is to put the right people in the right roles, and then create the environment that allows them to do their best work. In this capacity you have plenty of work to do yourself: setting strategy, hiring and firing, coaching and development, obtaining necessary resources, making certain decisions while delegating others, and embodying the culture you wish to foster. But as a leader there is also work you must not do, and if you're like many of my clients, it can be very difficult to stop doing it." Yes. Yes. Yes. 

Final thought.

“Do all the other things, the ambitious things—travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes...but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness.”

George Saunders, author 

Thanks for reading. Feel free to share with a friend or colleague. Contact me with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Meanwhile, get outside and enjoy some sunlight!

Maps, Mindset, Multi-Tasking and Milestones: May 2019

I am fresh from an incredible week of vacation in the Pacific Northwest so I am feeling GOOD! Not only did it not rain, the weather hovered between 70-80 degrees all week. Bizarre for May in the PNW, but I can't deny I enjoyed it. Three nights on Lake Crescent in Olympic National Park and great hospitality from dear friends made it quite lovely. I am including a shot from the private little beach I enjoyed at our cabin on Lake Crescent. I spent time walking or hiking each day and reading to my heart's content. Does it get any better??

Despite the rest I have still accumulated a pile of resources I want to pass along. Give them all a spin ~ I loved each one of them.

MAPS! For some reason the universe conspired to drop incredibly cool and nerdy maps into my field of vision these past few weeks. PLEASE take some time to tour each one of them...

7 maps that tell the incredible story of aging in America. This one is a feast of fascination. It makes my head spin to think about the implications of this data. Make sure you hit the "exclusive map series" link to get the goods. And when you tour each map, keep zooming in on specific counties to see the stats. From health care to advertising to higher ed to church life, the ramifications of this info seem endless. Check it out. 

40 maps that explain the world. Where do I begin? To quote Donald Rumsfeld, "There are things we don't know we don't know." This link exposed me to a bunch of stuff that caused me to dig even further to learn more. My faves (i.e., those that grabbed my attention most) were maps #4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 24, 28, 32, 40. Which ones stood out to you? 

Bored Panda eagle map. No profound purpose to this one, but SO INTERESTING!

The Future of Leadership Development: A Global Mindset. Given that all things related to #leadershipdevelopment wake me up in the morning, it's no surprise that I loved this one. This quote got my attention:

The future will belong to millennial leaders -- who tend to be increasingly globally oriented and eager to explore the world -- and millennials' inclination to identify themselves as global citizens will further the push for a global viewpoint. 

But here's the kicker:

But few businesses are offering emerging leaders the scope of experience they'll soon need. 

Amen to that. In the past month I've worked with young leaders from the US, Bosnia, Thailand and Philippines. All are hungry to learn, but also know very little about cultural differences and dynamics. Equally significant is the impact of racism and how much that slows progress. So much work to do! My goal is to keep listening to and learning from non-white voices and to read steadily on all the issues around these topics.

What might be most intriguing (and challenging?) of all is reconciling these future trends around globalization and multiculturalism with the aging of America. THAT makes my head hurt.

Multitasking is usually a bad idea, but here are 5 times when it’s okay. This title had me at "hello" because I am a notorious multi-tasker. According to Strengths Finder (Arranger is #6 for me), it actually gives me energy to do so. Even better, this article came up with things I actually do! For example,

I love when my office is neat. But I find the actual process of organization pretty boring. Opening mail, filing papers, sorting through piles, or dusting just don’t engage my brain enough to make them feel like a worthwhile use of time on their own.

That’s why for simple organizational tasks, multitasking actually works. When I do these activities, I’ll talk with a friend or listen to a podcast. 

Let me know whether multi-tasking ever works to your benefit.

OK.... one more BONUS recommendation! How is it possible that 2019 is already almost halfway over!!? With that milestone approaching, I wanted to invite you to do a brief self-check and see if you've followed through on any New Year's Resolutions... No guilt ~ only love! (Here's what I wrote about resolutions earlier this year...)

Depending on how you've done so far, I recommend this brief article titled Three Tips to Change Behavior. Before you slump your shoulders in despair, keep this simple sentence in mind:

If you want to change your life, it requires intentionality. 

Don't give up! And if you either didn't establish any resolutions or want to change the ones you made, go for it. I picked a new one on this recent vacation and have pursued it consistently for the past ten days. It feels good.

Feel free to send me feedback or questions to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. And feel freer to pass this along to friends and colleagues. Thanks for reading. Ciao!

NY Resolutions? Let's Get Real

Hi Friends,
I don't know about you, but I'm finally getting over the hump of holidays and year-end and new year and all that jazz. I am slowly easing into a rhythm for 2019, and almost never accidentally write "2018"!

So now is the time I would rather talk about New Year's Resolutions... you're hopefully over the panicked rush of the first days of the new year, you've dusted the glitter off from the holiday party, and you're ready to reflect for a few moments on some #lifegoals for 2019. Here goes!

Is Listening to a Book the Same Thing as Reading It? It would not be fair of me to ask you to consider what goals, large or small, you want to set up for this year if I was not willing to share some of mine as well. I want to continue one goal that I started last year with relatively decent success: that is, I want to read at least one book per month. And that means, really read it. Like sit on the couch and take it in. Regardless, this article by a reading researcher gives a good pro's and con's listing of audiobook vs print.

How you can ditch your car, save money and live better? If we haven't met in person, you may not be aware that I am a devoted non-car owner. I sold my Subaru Legacy Wagon in 2010, and haven't looked back. (Here's a link from my old blog about why I did it...) I have owned a fake Italian scooter (the Genuine Buddy 125 pictured to the right) since 2007 and just ticked over to 29,000 miles on it! I also ride a snappy little bike called the Electra Loft 7i for errands around town. Or take the bus. Or walk, God forbid!

And before you think I'm getting all judgey on you and think that if you own a car I think you're disgusting, please have no fear. I simply want to throw out a challenge to say that all of us could indulge a little less in gas guzzling. Even if that means taking one less trip a day in your car or, if you're like me and live on the coast and are single and able to give up a car, consider it. In the almost 10 years that I've been doing it it, it has only become easier, especially with Uber, Lyft and Zipcar. I have decreased my impact on the environment and it is tremendously cheaper. And yes when I need to drive, I do. I just rent a car. Just pause and consider it. That's all. I don't need to recommit to this, but want to lean in 2019 back into the bike and bus more and not just take the scoot everywhere.

15 Bad Work Habits I’m Ditching This Year (and You Should, Too!) Numero Uno on the list is one of the TOP issues I address with clients.  When I ask groups about this, I get a raised hand and "guilty as charged" response from about 3/4 of the group. Explore the rest on the list and see where you might need to make a change. Let me know if you want to talk through any of the others!!! (See #7...)

How Can You Keep Your New Year's Resolutions? and Want To Be Happier This Year? Follow This 2019 Productive Habits Calendar (With Author Gretchen Rubin) Here are not one but TWO dandy motivational plans for how to dig in to your resolutions. I'm especially impressed with the second one -- it maps out a reasonable year-long strategy for incremental change. Don't freak out - just give them both a peek.

The 19 New Leadership Books to Read in 2019. I cannot recommend any of these because I haven't read any of them yet, but I DO recommend Adam Grant as a resource for leadership development... I am currently reading Leadership: In Turbulent Times by Doris Kearns Goodwin and completely nerding out on it. Its combination of history with leadership principles is a happy place for me. Listen to Larry Wilmore's interview of DKG if you need to get motivated to pick up the book - it did the trick for me.

How to Motivate Yourself to Do Things You Don’t Want to Do. Last resource - might be saving the best for last. If all the previous links feel overwhelming, start here with something small. Incremental changes more often than not lead to longer-lasting change than ambitious moonshots. Be gentle with yourself.

I will end with a hearty quote from Leadership: In Turbulent Times, relating a hard lesson learned by Lyndon Johnson:

But to what end did one accumulate such power? Regardless of one’s impressive title, power without purpose and without vision was not the same thing as leadership.