🌻 May 2024: Activity, Advice, Aging and More

📣 Update from last month's "big news"... I'm halfway through the creation of a video training series that I have been asked by Madecraft to make for them this spring on how to provide encouraging and empowering #leadership and #management to #GenZ employees! 🎉 I will keep you posted on when and where it will be released -- some time this summer. So excited for this new opportunity.

Other than that, I just finished teaching an internship course with a fantastic group of 14 undergrads. This year marks 40 years that I have worked with students. That feels equally gratifying... and terrifying! A mental slide show of decades of former students and interns are scrolling through my head right now and I am warmed by the (mostly!) delightful memories.

Certainly, while I am humbled by the extent of my past experiences, I am also anxious to stay continuously current and aware of what is happening right now and in the near future. That is especially why I am excited about the upcoming video training course I am making. And also about the resources I get to share with you each month here. Enjoy!

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𝟏:𝟏 How to Maximize Impact with Manager One-on-One Meetings. This is a surprisingly good article on how #managers can #maximize impact in their in their #1on1s. It's not a reductive, 5-bullet-and-buh-bye set of obvious tips. It gets in the weeds. I recommend it. Nice work, #Lattice

🏃🏽‍➡️ Don’t Underestimate the Power of Small Breaks During a Busy Workday. As someone who spends the majority of my day seated (or occasionally standing) at my desk, this was helpful. I’m trying to do little “exercise snacks” too.

🥱 🥳 Languishing vs Flourishing: where do you fit? Perhaps you've heard these two terms more often recently: #languishing and #flourishing. We may think we know what they mean, but this article (a mere 5-minute read) really breaks them both down and made me do some reflecting. It does a good job contrasting #mentalillness with #mentalhealth.

📜 101 more pieces of life advice. Try reviewing one suggestion from this list every day and let it prompt some reflection. I’m humbled by this one: “Multitasking is a myth. Don’t text while walking, running, biking or driving. Nobody will miss you if you just stop for a minute.”

🎵 "When I'm 64..." OK, maybe turning 63 this year has gotten my attention a teeny bit more when it comes to the future? But WOW, these articles are worth paying attention to, both personally and professionally, when it comes to those 65 and older. This is a speed round of links with little to no commentary - don't skip any of them because each one offers new insights:

• Boomers are defying age norms and you are losing out. 
• The growth of the older workforce. Do you know the fastest-growing demographic in the workplace is ages 65-74??
• Coping with the stress of retirement. 
• 7 best practices to confront age bias, build generational diversity.
• Lifelong lessons in coping with fear and humiliation (by Anne Lamott)
• "Wiser Than Me" podcast with Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Fantastic interviews of famous women aged 70 or older. Utter delight.

Final Thought.

"Don’t ever be ashamed of loving the strange things that make your weird little heart happy." — Elizabeth Gilbert

Thanks for reading... please pass this page along to friends, family and coworkers. And reach out with questions and comments at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!

🌼 March 2024: Transitions, Tips, Tasks and Top 5

One of the many things I enjoy about my work is the variety of clients and situations I get to work with. In any given day I may get to work with Gen Z college students, a higher ed executive, a team working on ecological preservation and restoration, and leaders creating opportunities for first-time home buyers from marginalized populations. And then the next day I'm hearing from engineers navigating the ever-changing landscape of AI, coaching a founder of a non-profit teaching code to refugees, and following up with a former student needing some insight on a career pivot. I learn something from each one of them, and deeply value their trust and willingness to consider challenging questions.

I'm currently reading Generations: The Real Differences between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers and Silents -- and What They Mean for America's Future by Jean Twenge in preparation for some presentations I've been asked to give on what it takes to manage Gen Z'ers. While I have lived long enough to know that each generation has its own unique qualities and challenges, what is standing out to me the most about the book so far is that there are some very unique dynamics that we are currently facing in the world today. Between teaching a college class of 20-22 year olds and recently celebrating another birthday that gets me that much closer to the classic age of retirement, what is standing out to me the most is this trend described by Twenge as "taking longer to grow up, and longer to grow older." In other words, people are reaching milestones like driver's license, getting married and retiring at far different ages than they did in the past. In turn, that is changing a lot of sociological dynamics. And I am seeing and experiencing those in real time.

So perhaps that is the lens through which I especially noticed this month's recommendations. Let me know if any of them spark your interest. Thanks for reading.

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🍼 👨🏽‍🦳 Parents, Young Adult Children and the Transition to Adulthood. This comes from Pew Research and provides some fascinating and robust data. Here's a teaser statistic: Parents are very involved in their young adult children’s lives. Majorities say they text (73%) or talk on the phone (54%) with a young adult child at least a few times a week. Given that I talked to my parents once a week on the phone while I was in college because long distance was so expensive, I cannot even imagine this! Scroll down further in the article and you will see 5 additional "chapters" to this report that are worth paying special attention to.

🧰 9 Tips for Landing a Job if You're Over 50. Several of my #careercoaching clients are in that #midlife time of reassessing their professional and life #goals. Many of our conversations touch on several of the strategies suggested here. 

🎉 How to Create Your Own "Year in Review." I am having multiple conversations with #clients about #annualreviews and I am trying to equip them to be able to talk about themselves in energetic and engaging ways. If you are struggling to get started, I think this article from #HBR can stir the creative juices.

5️⃣ New and Improved CliftonStrengths Top 5 report. As of January 20, Gallup has created a new and improved Top Five results report. I encourage you to log back in to the Gallup website, then look on the right side and click on “CliftonStrengths Top 5 Report.” It’s 19 pages and shows how each of your top 5 pairs with your #1, among other things. This is providing really NEW and valuable insights to the clients I have used it with so far. PRO TIP: Use this expanded info to prepare for job interviews and performance reviews. Tell me what you think!

😵‍💫 A List of Soul-Sucking Tasks and How They Affect You According to Your Strengths. More than likely, you have done CliftonStrengths at least once with me and know that I like to talk about the Balcony and the Basement. Here's another interesting list of situations that you might encounter at work and why they can be frustrating for you. If anything, it will provide a good laugh.

👩🏽‍💼 Executive Presence for Women. Great discussion with very specific advice on how to carry yourself professionally, especially in a remote context. I’ve already used it with two clients.

👵🏽 Redesigning Retirement. So I'm a little closer to the classic #retirement age than I'd like to admit... yet this article will surprise you as to the growing trends among 65-75 year olds. Check this out: "Seventy-one percent of Americans who are 65 or older say that the best time of their lives is not in the past but right now or still in front of them. And 83% say that feeling 'useful' is more important to them than feeling 'youthful.'”

🎧 If you want or need a healthy distraction... Maybe it is just me, but between world events and national politics, I am already getting overwhelmed and stressed out. If you want a fun and relatively productive distraction, I recommend this new podcast called WikiHole. A bit hard to explain, but it's a weekly collection of comedians falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes. Give it a try!

Thanks for reading -- feel free to pass this along to a friend or coworker. And I love hearing from you all with questions, comments and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!

🎄 December 2023: Time Management, Teams, Toolkits and More

I am hearing from many clients that they are scrambling as they juggle quarter-end, year-end, project-end deadlines, also hoping they can somehow get it all done so they can have a true break during the holidays. May some of these resources help you reach the finish line!

🎄 * ❄️ * 🕎 * 🎅🏽 * ☮️ * 🎁 * 🦌

🕰️ Time management: A guide to more sanity and less anxiety. This is an interview of my FAVORITE resource regarding time management, Oliver Burkeman. When I posted this on LinkedIn, a client commented, "I started listening to this podcast expecting time management techniques and realized it’s all about mindset. 🤯 i need to listen to this one again." I've recommended Burkeman's book here more than once. Give yourself this book for the holidays.

⛑️ A Refresher on Psychological Safety. At minimum, include this video in your management training; additionally, maybe even watch it with your team and discuss it? It's only 7.5 minutes long but also packed with useful insights.

🌍 🗣️ Getting Feedback Right on Diverse Teams. An excellent half-hour interview with Erin Meyer, the author of the Culture Map, my go-to resource for optimizing global, intercultural communication. A longer, more in-depth article was provided in the Sept-Oct 2023 issue of Harvard Business Review.

🧠 Mental Health Toolkit: Tools to Bolster Your Mood & Mental Health. I go in and out of listening to this podcast, but landed on this episode, and found it to be a great collection of things I wanted to be reminded of as I take some time to think about how this year has gone and how I want to step into 2024, especially in terms of mental health, well-being, and stress management. It is two hours long but I do recommend you take the time to listen to it.

🪫 Energy Audit (Introvert vs Extrovert). Here's a simple (and science-based) worksheet on recognizing draining situations in your daily life and developing strategies to avoid consecutive energy-sapping scenarios that can lead to #overwhelm and #burnout. 

🎸 What we learned from our parents' record collections. The title alone got my memories flowing... Simon & Garfunkel, Carole King, Barbra Streisand, the Beatles, the Band were all on repeat (on vinyl, of course) in my elementary school years. This podcast also recounts some delightful stories as well. Enjoy.

🤣 Team-Building Question for the Month. Throw this on to your Teams, Slack, Google Hangout, iMessage thread and have a good laugh.

"What was the best holiday gift you ever received?"

Mine was an Easy-Bake oven when I was 7 years old...🧁 🥰 

May your December bring some peace, joy, rest, and good memories. Thanks for reading -- feel free to share this with friends and co-workers. Cheers!

November 2023: 🍁 Fall Favorites So Far

I know it sounds ridiculous to some of you, but here in Santa Barbara we were able to shift to sweaters just this week... so now it finally feels like fall. Please enjoy my recommendations for this month!

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👩Women at Work. To say the least, this is a topic close to my heart! Despite having just finished a summer with the Barbie movie and multi-million dollar tours for Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, I will verify that women by and large still face unique challenges in the workplace. In light of my 40 years (GULP!) of leadership experience I can say some things have improved, but there are days where I am not so sure...

But I will save that conversation for another day. For this month, I want to share these excellent conversations and articles that focus entirely on specific workplace dynamics for women. Even if you aren't a woman, please check these out -- I can confidently assume you work with women, have significant others who are female, and/or have daughters! These conversations are valuable for everyone:

• The agents of change: How women are altering the power paradigm. There are so many quotable statements in this discussion, but I'll settle on this one: “'For those of us that have to navigate spaces where we are the minority, [it’s] part of our survival,' she says. 'The way that I'm allowed to be in this room, or in this place, is to make sure that I do not upset anyone around me.' [Nevertheless] Nekvapil teaches her clients that 'power is abundant,' and that one person having it doesn’t by default take it away from someone else." In other words, power is not finite. I have learned from experience that when I give power to others that I do not lose it -- in fact, it can enhance my power. Please take a listen to this episode.
• ADHD Is Different for Women. Perhaps the best interview I’ve listened to on this topic because it focuses solely on the unique ways that women experience ADHD -- including peri-menopausal and menopausal women.
• Forget the crisis. The ‘midlife collision’ is real and affecting a large part of the workforce. Many of my #clients tell me about the challenges described here. I appreciate the way the article frames the struggles faced in #midlife in a more granular way, especially as it relates to women's caregiving for multiple generations in their families. Here is another expression of this "collision" women face, described as a "portal." I appreciate that she frames this significant time in women's lives both as a crisis AND an awakening.

😩 Why Career Transition is So Hard. This must scratch where many people itch because I posted this article from #HBR on LinkedIn this week and it is generating a lot of traffic on my feed. It is by Herminia Ibarra, a wise author I trust, and goes well beyond the basic, obvious "tips" of most articles on this topic. I love this statement from her: "Career change is iterative. You can’t line everything up in advance. You have to figure things out over time and make adjustments as you go." The best part is that she then digs in and gives three strong pieces of advice to get you started on this process. I will be using this article with clients!

💰 US Economy Data. I don't normally post links like this (because they are WAY above my paygrade in terms of expertise) but I found this encouraging news from a "right of center" economist at George Mason University.

🤝 LinkedIn exec reveals exactly how AI is changing hiring and recruiting. Before you panic (or skip it because like me you are getting sick of AI hype), take in this quote from the article: "But he agrees with Chamorro-Premuzic that the soft skills that can’t be replaced by AI will continue to be an important differentiator for job seekers, citing the fact that 70% of U. S. executives surveyed by LinkedIn agree that soft skills are more important than AI skills right now."

👏🏽 What I'm Enjoying Right Now. All work and no play makes me a dull girl. I'm deeply enjoying:

• The Great British Baking Show. I never, ever tire of this one. And I'm really enjoying the new host Alison Hammond. She's a hoot!
• Beckham. Call me a sucker for yet another profile of British "royalty," but it is fascinating to watch.
• Welcome to Wrexham. Lots of British accents in my life these days, apparently! Each episode tends to give me a good laugh and a heartfelt tear or three.
• Sufjan Stevens' new album, Javelin. The first song had me at hello, and the whole album has been on repeat. I've also been taking in Seven Psalms by Paul Simon.
• McCartney: A Life in Lyrics. Oops, more British accents! 🤦🏽‍♀️ But I grew up as a child on the Beatles and these episodes recount how Paul McCartney came up with the lyrics to his songs.
• Leftover Halloween candy. More specifically, mini Swedish fish. An absolute FAVORITE!

Feel free to share this post with others, and reach out to me with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!

September 2023: Boggled, Building, BP10, More Building..

Normally the month of August is a quiet one with coaching clients because people jam in some last-minute vacations, but for whatever reason(s), this one was packed! Below are just a sampling of the many resources I used this past month. Goodbye to summer, hello to fall!

😵‍💫 Boggled by AI? Join the club! I recommend following this blog regularly. This particular post gives you an overview of the AI landscape. Definitely worth it. 

🗣️ Building a Culture Where Employees Feel Free to Speak Up. I recently trained a group of #managers in how to cultivate #psychologicalsafety on their teams. The presentation included basic concepts, case studies, breakout discussions and recognition that this is a key part of the manager's job, whether they signed up for it or not! This link provides a good article from #hbr on getting started on building this sort of space for your team.

🆕 BP10: do you want to start something new? I am currently coaching 10 individuals in career discernment - more than I ever have at the same time. That tells me something. Many tell me they are restless, or searching for something new/ meaningful / energizing... others feel stuck, while some feel daunted at the possibility of doing the same thing they are doing now for 20-25 more years. Last but not least, some feel the itch to take a risk. If you have an idea or a sense that you want to launch out on your own, I believe this assessment from Gallup is the best tool to start with. (PS I do not work for Gallup!!) I just retook BP10 after first taking it in 2019, and it gave me some new insights to my goal-setting for this fall into 2024. There are some amazing tools that come with it, plus some helpful podcasts, and it syncs well with StrengthsFinder. Email me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me if you'd like to work on it together!

❓Team-Building Question for the Month. I coach the overwhelming majority of my clients virtually, and in turn they work virtually with their teams. I strongly suggest using creative ice-breaker questions on a consistent basis to help create a warmer, fun, collegial, maybe even mildly vulnerable work vibe. One team I work with calls this exercise "Thursday Thoughts" on their Teams thread and they have agreed to respond within 24 hours once the question is posted. Here is a question for the month:

“What song best describes your life right now?” 

A related one: “What song sounds like the motto of your life?”

What are my responses? (Glad you asked!): 

Closer to Fine by the Indigo Girls (admittedly, it’s back in my mental playlist thanks to the Barbie movie!)

Life motto song: Shed a Little Light by James Taylor

⛑️ Building Wellbeing in the Workplace. This is a one-hour dive into #wellbeing in the #workplace, but truly worth the time. The conversation breaks down the realities of #burnout and how it is an *occupational* condition most impacted by the way we each interact with our workload, co-workers, and company values. It's a discussion between top-drawer researchers but they use non-technical, everyday language. I found it incredibly insightful. A brief article in a similar vein from Psychology Today website can be found here.

🥵 How to Handle Feeling Overworked. I'm leading a professional development discussion on this #podcast next week. The title describes it well. If the fall is a "new year" for you and you're feeling #overwhelmed and/or #overworked, take 40 minutes to listen to it. Calmly and clearly, #MurielWilkins coaches a #client through the steps to address those feelings with real and practical value.

And if you are so overworked you can't even handle taking that on, just put this song on repeat 😉 The song of my senior year...

🎧 Recommended podcasts (for fun!). OK, admittedly, I personally find these podcasts a relaxing way to unwind from a full day -- hope you do too. They also give you a peek into my "diverse" tastes:

• Broken Record. INCREDIBLE conversations with musicians on how and why they make their music. The recent one with Paul Simon left me speechless. 
• Strike Force Five. Conversations between late-night talk show hosts Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers & John Oliver that they are doing to help pay their staffs during the WGA/SAG strikes. Stupid fun.
• Sidedoor. From the ridiculous to the... super nerdy. Here's the description: "More than 157 million treasures fill the Smithsonian’s vaults, but where public view ends, Sidedoor begins. With the help of biologists, artists, historians, archaeologists, zookeepers, and astrophysicists, host Lizzie Peabody sneaks listeners through Smithsonian’s side door to search for stories that can’t be found anywhere else." Dork Heaven.

All for now. Please reach out with questions and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. And share this with a friend or coworker!

May 2023: Motivation, Management and Multiple Time Zones

I have had a great month with clients, and the song "I've Been Everywhere, Man" is currently running through my head as I think about them! I have virtually visited the countries of Kuala Lumpur, Thailand, and Bosnia, while also touring all over the US too, meeting online with clients from Chicago, Phoenix, NYC, Minneapolis, Pasadena, Baltimore, Boise, Boston, Sacramento, Houston, Pittsburgh, Seattle and Richmond... I am grateful for the opportunities to listen, learn, and share. P.S. Speaking of world travel, here's a new hack for managing multiple time zones on your Google Calendar - a lifesaver!)

Here are some of the things we discussed... I hope they provide some new insights to you as well!

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🎨 Leadership is an Art by Max DePree. I made a goal this year to go back and skim through at least 25 of the books on leadership that I have acquired over the years. And this one caught me a bit by surprise... I realized I had actually never read it, and had only heard it recommended. DePree was the CEO of Herman Miller furniture, and renowned as a gifted leader. Personally, I found the insights within this little book to be unique and thought-provoking -- in other words, it didn't sound like every other book on leadership. Sure, it is occasionally quaint and uses "he" more than I would like; after all, it was originally written in 1989, and the edition I read was reprinted in 2011. But its humility, emotional intelligence and generosity really stood out to me. It is a quick read, but will stay with you. (Ironically, the current CEO of DePree's former company was in the news recently, and not in a positive way. Not sure this CEO got around to reading DePree's book!)

Here's one quote from the start: The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant and a debtor. That sums up the progress of an artful leader.

🤓 How to be a Good Manager in 2023. I am guiding #managementdevelopment for three different clients right now and here's a good summary of what is needed in a #manager in 2023: 5 ways to be a manager that people don’t want to quit. If you liked this one, this is worthwhile as well: “Help, I’m an accidental manager.” These are the management secrets you are never taught.

💪🏽 How Do I Stay Motivated After Surviving Layoffs? This entire podcast series is excellent and if you are looking for a new one to subscribe to, jump on this one. This particular episode captures the raw emotions that I hear in some of my clients after layoffs, and the host, Muriel Wilkins, a tremendously gifted executive coach, conducts a master class in walking someone through next steps.

And here's an extra... if you have been laid off, or need a boost as you consider a job change, this one caught my attention: This is how ChatGPT can level up your job search. I am barely wading in the waters of Generative AI (and some of it concerns me a lot), but this particular topic proved fruitful.

😵‍💫 How to talk to a problem employee about their poor job performance. You may be just finishing up performance reviews, but this issue bubbles up year-round. In fact, there is perhaps no other topic I receive from leaders and managers more than this one. We seem to be uniquely terrible at giving constructive, substantive, clear, direct feedback. Let’s stack hands on this and commit to getting better at it!! It is always better to address things early to avoid confusion and complexity. If you want another resource, I often send out this one: 14 questions to ask an underperforming employee during a one-on-one meeting.

⚕️Washington Post Opinion: ADHD is an illness, not a lifestyle. Don’t punish people for it. As I have shared here before, I am encountering more and more clients who have been diagnosed as neurodivergent: this includes ADHD, dyslexia, OCD, and autism, to name a few. The increase in diagnoses can be attributed to advances in neuroscience, greater awareness, and the stresses of the last 3+ years on our mental health and stress management. This article is behind a paywall, so I'm giving you the PDF I downloaded. I can almost guarantee you know a neurodivergent person, even if you don't realize it. Please take a few moments to learn a bit more about how it feels for those going through some significant challenges. (Additionally, the opinion writer followed up with a column on readers' responses to her column, including negative reactions to her use of the word "illness." You can find those reactions here.)

🐾 This Week in Wildlife. This is a fun photo gallery to follow...  animal photos lift my spirits every time. The muddy puffin this week is ridiculously cute.

Thanks for reading... reach out with questions or feedback (or even a complimentary 30-minute coaching session for new clients) at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

April 2023: "Just Keep Swimming..."

I was late posting for March, so I'm trying to recover by posting near the start of April. I suppose I could just list a few of the gajillion articles out there on AI and ChatGPT, but I will spare you. I certainly have plenty to share on other topics. As I compiled this month's list of recommendations, I realized that they all revolved around the need to press in and persist in the face of fatigue, discouragement, challenges and so on. So I titled this post based on Dory's little phrase that often runs through my head. Here goes!

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😵‍💫 Meeting Culture Run Amok with Christina Janzer. I have appreciated several episodes in this podcast series because they all address the new post-pandemic dynamics in the workplace. The host sums up this episode: “The idea that every problem, every issue, every roadblock in your organization can and should be solved by a meeting, that’s meeting culture. And it’s a real problem for most organizations I know.” This link includes the transcript, and I recommend printing it out and using it for a team discussion to evaluate your online meeting practices.

🔌 A Human Energy Crisis. This is intriguing. I haven't done academic research on this, but anecdotally I can verify that I have multiple conversations each week with #coaching clients about #motivation, #resilience, #burnout, #anxiety, and all other sorts of personal or professional challenges. How are you doing?

📜 How adding ‘microcrocredentials’ to your résumé can help clinch that new job. This has been my experience -- I have taken a few short but useful online certificate courses and it has sparked interest, expanded my knowledge base, and brought value to my clients.

😱 How High Achievers Overcome Their Anxiety. I have had SO MANY #coachingconversations with clients on the topic of #anxiety and how to manage it. Take time to read over the 11 most common "thought traps" - this article puts words to what many people experience.

😇 Why Americans Care About Work So Much. As someone who spent 30 years working in a vocational career in religious institutions and non-profits, this is an especially interesting article. As the author says, "Here is a history of work in six words: from jobs to careers to callings." Do you feel your job is your “calling”? This article is behind a paywall so I printed it out from my email - forgive the slightly wonky format.

🫣 Seeking feedback. I am meeting with several clients in preparation for #performancereviews... But to get over the once-a-year dread, here are some tips on how to seek out #feedback from your manager throughout the year. Even better, here is how leaders can get the feedback they need to grow as well.

February 2023: Listening... a LOT!

Aaaannndddd.... 2023 is off and running! I'm not even sure where January went. Phew. Usually this is a relatively slow month for me as clients take their time to get back in the swing of things after the holidays, but that lasted for all of one week this time, and then the requests to meet kicked in. Which I'm obviously thankful for!

As I look over this month's recommendations, I did not realize until I saw the entire list that there seems to be the pervasive theme of LISTENING, whether it's an informative podcast, tips on communicating better in a digital world, a story about paying attention, or understanding others who live life very differently from you. I hope you enjoy them -- I sure did.

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🧐 The science of happiness, with Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. This is a very robust conversation, and had many highlights for me. Listen to it and learn more about #resilience, "anti-fragility," figuring out your #calling, and what does it actually mean to be #happy. 

🫢 Intent versus impact: a formula for better communication. Much of my #coaching right now is focused on equipping #managers on how to lead their #remoteteams. One often-neglected aspect of this is how to best #communicate because so much can be lost or misunderstood in #digital messaging. This article provides some clarity and next steps. It could be a spark for a good virtual team discussion on how you want to best communicate moving forward.

👂🏽You Have to Learn to Listen. My favorite read of this month. The title says it all. It's a long read but WELL worth the time. I think it's behind a paywall, so here is a PDF version. As we are bombarded by apps, news, devices, stress and just too much noise overall, we can lose our capacity to truly hear someone. This story is tremendously compelling. Do not miss it.

👨🏽‍🦳 👱🏽‍♂️ Gen Z in the Workplace. This is a conversation between a Gen X father and a Gen Z son. Being a #Boomer myself yet having worked with young adults my entire adult life, I often function as a translator between the generations. I found this conversation very engaging and enlightening.

🎧 Science-backed productivity playlists to help you dive into deep work. I don't know about you, but I usually need some instrumental music in the background to really focus when I have to.

🤝 Team-Building Questions and Activities, January 2023. Every few months I try to generate a new list of questions and simple activities to use to help foster deeper connections between groups. I hope you find these helpful - please let me know which ones worked best!

November 2022: Ruts, Rest, and Remote Work

I always have ambitions of posting something at the beginning of each month. Yet here it is November 10... I'm never entirely sure where the time goes, but better late than never.

I am happy to report that one of the reasons that the start of November caught me a bit by surprise was that I got to go on vacation from October 22-29 to Sun Valley, Idaho. My best friend and I, who are great travel buddies, stayed in the guest house of a friend of hers and other than the shock of a 40+ degree temperature difference, the time there was fantastic. I came back rested and refreshed, and the only regret was that I had to do a bit of scrambling upon my return as I had so much to catch up on. Thus the delay in getting this out....

The view from the back of the guest house
(and no, I did not use the tub!)

Nevertheless, here are my most-used recommendations for the month. These especially found a lot of traction with clients. Enjoy!

♥️ Hygge Cards. I’ve used this with friends, but also with teams who already know each other a bit. I had one client call these “palate cleansers” during meetings, when things need to shift between topics during busy, topic-filled tactical work together. Another client used them on a staff retreat to warm up the group. I could see them also being valuable as a way to get a team (especially one working remotely) to socialize a bit more in a less-threatening way.

⛏️ How to Get Out of a Rut. A quick but worthwhile blog post from one of my favorite authors, #OliverBurkeman. #productivity #patience #resilience P.S. I highly recommend subscribing to his newsletter.

😴 The Nap Bishop is Spreading the Good Word: Rest. Here is a podcast interview with the “nap bishop” as well. Y'all, this has been on heavy rotation with several people I am working with. Sure, we have all been hearing about the need for more rest in these stressful times. But I tell you what, this has some really new, really thought-provoking insights in regard to our need for rest. If you can only pick one of this month's recommendations, pick this one.

☮️ How 30 Days of Kindness Made Me a Better Person. Full disclosure, I have not done this yet. But I find it intriguing and encouraging. And here are the 30 days of challenges.

🖥 What Great Remote Managers Do Differently. I am juggling three different management training projects right now. This is clearly a huge need in the workplace, especially as we keep wading through the waters of hybrid, remote, layoffs, retention, quiet quitting, you name it. Great quote: “So what managers do remains the same; it’s the how that changes.” This article really highlights a huge shift in management – it is much more focused on people management and not just process management.

+ + + + + + + + + + + +

“Especially after COVID-19 forced us all to slow down a bit, I found myself questioning for the first time ever why (and for whom) I and my peers are working so hard — often to the detriment of our mental and physical health — and how that can not only be normalized, but also glorified,” Devon Gates, 21, said. (from Nap Bishop article) 

 

August 2022: Stay the Course

In May I shared that I had broken my left ankle and that I was heading into a l-o-n-g recovery that I dubbed the "Summer of Slow." July 31st marked twelve weeks since my accident! There has been some good progress: I've moved from the leg scooter to crutches to a mere walking stick (without the boot), but my ability to walk is rather severely limited by two long screws that are still connecting my two leg bones to allow for healing. Thus I am counting the days (hours? minutes?) till they are removed on August 17. 

One upside of all this is that it has forced allowed more time for reading and reflection. So this month's set of recommendations are perhaps a bit more plentiful than usual. Last month I talked about "course-correcting" as I sought to move from surviving to thriving; this month I want to share some of the things I'm reading and learning about that are helping me to stay on that course. I hope they are beneficial to you as well!

🗺 Career Planning. Many people reach out to me for help in figuring out their next steps job-wise, especially during #TheGreatResignation (which some call the #TheGreatReassessment). But I am surprised to find that many if not most have not really done much career planning -- in other words, people know how to look for a job, but they may not have a definitive career path. This article is a good start - hit me up if you want or need more resources. #lookingforjob #lookingforchange

🔎 Managing Oneself. Perhaps that recommendation above could be "Part One" in your career map and this link could be "Part Two." Do not pass up this article when you see that it was written in 1999 ~ as one close friend told me, it is a gem 💎.  As stated in the intro, "This article challenges readers to take responsibility for managing their futures, both in and out of the office." The author, Peter Drucker, is someone you want to become familiar with if you are not already.

🗣 The 4 Most Important Voices for a Senior Leader. Here's a good inventory to use... as leaders we usually need to build a personal #boardofdirectors to cultivate and sustain long-term #growthmindset and #motivation. Do you have these four voices in your life?  #leadership #leaders

🎯 Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership. A podcast interview that is a master class on leadership. I’ve referenced Marshall Goldsmith before, and this one is even better. 

🎧 Flourish FM podcasts. Excellent podcast series on the whole area of wellbeing, flourishing, meaning and purpose. I especially appreciated Episode #2 on the importance of meaning. The series is generated by research from the Harvard Flourishing Program. This has been a great resource for my own growth and learning on wellbeing.

🧨 Burnout: A thread on how it works and how to deal with it. This bubbled up on my Twitter feed and I found it enlightening.

⏳ The philosophy of middle age. I would say the top three topics that clients bring to me are: 1) management or leadership needs; 2) wellbeing; 3) mid-life crisis! This is a “you too?!” podcast discussion that I definitely recommend. They open by defining mid-life crisis as a “general malaise” and then discuss the feelings, options, etc.

💭 Pandemic reflections from an executive coach. I have to say that I resonate with most of his experience as described here: clients are re-evaluating when, where, and why they and their employees are now choosing to meet in person -- almost none of my clients are returning to their 2019 working arrangements, but they are enjoying occasional in-person meetings. Additionally, many are seeing the pandemic as a learning experience that enabled their organizations to become more flexible on a permanent basis… As I kept saying at the outset of all this, the pandemic did not create any of the issues we were facing, it only accelerated them. I imagine we'll be studying and reflecting on these years following March 2020 for years to come.

Thanks for reading -- is there someone who would benefit from reading this as well? As always, send feedback at questions to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.

August 2021: Adapt or Die!

My goal is to get these new posts out by the start of a new month. Given that it is August 11, apparently that didn't work out this month! The "return to work" (or not) has kept me busy as teams and workplaces keep having to adjust and cope and manage crises day by day. To quote the Billy Beane character in Moneyball, "Adapt or die." 

So here I am with lots of new resources that I have already tested with clients. I hope you find them useful!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

🧰 Tools for communication, collaboration, creativity and connection as you continue to figure out work during a pandemic. New ones are emerging daily as we keep adapting. Check these out.

• 🖥  5 Types Of Meetings That Should Always Be Async (And 5 That Shouldn’t). If we were in person, my voice would slowly raise in volume and intensity as I talked about this because I am NOT seeing most workplaces adapting wisely when it comes to remote work. Take 7 minutes to read this article and then spend some time evaluating whether you have effective collaborative software in place. Teams need to shift much more work to shared docs (Google Drive, SharePoint, OneDrive, Dropbox, etc) and commit to doing work asynchronously (ahem, read the article if that isn't a familiar word to you). If you and your team make this change, you will find meetings need to be LESS FREQUENT and MORE EFFECTIVE. Who doesn't want that?! If you need further info to be convinced, read this article too: When Do We Actually Need to Meet in Person.
• 🤝 Work friends make life happier. Here’s how to make them when you’re remote. When coaching clients in trust-building on their teams, I talk about making sure that each person commits to having non-transactional conversations with co-workers on a regular basis. More often than not, the person I'm talking to squinches their nose and resists that idea. Invariably, it turns out that they don't really know how to jumpstart those sorts of conversations. This article gives some fresh ideas. In case you want and need more ideas, I liked this one too.
• 
  ⁉️ Need even more questions for those meetings where you're trying to get to know others better at work? I have created two different worksheets for this need. Check out Team-Building Exercises and 25 Questions. PLEASE let me know what you think and whether they were effective.
• ⏳ The three-or-four-hours rule for getting creative work done. I would say one of the more challenging things to do in this time of increasing virtual engagement at work and 24-hour availability via technology is to simply be able to F-O-C-U-S on deep work when you need to be creative. This article isn't a roadmap on precisely how to do it, but it does validate your need for it and provide some resources for further exploration of the subject.
• 🔬Micro Habit Stacking: 25 Small Changes To Improve Your Life. I do #12 almost every day, without fail.

🎧 📺 What I'm watching and listening to. As we struggle with still having to stay home more than we expected at this point in the pandemic, at least there are many good choices out there...

1. Tim Ferriss' interview of the writer Anne Lamott. As a permanently recovering English major, I have loved Anne Lamott's writing, which is hilarious, poignant, challenging, and very real. She puts things into words that completely capture what I'm feeling and that has been deeply helpful on many occasions. I've gone to several of her book readings over the years and she has several stories she's told multiple times, but in this interview I got to hear some things I've never heard her share or read about in her books. It is long and meandering at times, but if you want to learn about writing, or how to recover from difficulty, manage a complicated family history, or remain in recovery, this one is for you.
2. Summer of Soul. This film is so moving on so many levels. I don't want to say much about it. The music alone is sublime. Just watch it.
3. The Knowledge Project podcast. This is a new addiction. It's a deep dive on the nuances and challenges of leadership in 2021. Jeff Immelt's description of leadership in a crisis should not be missed. Dig it.
4. The Vanishing of Harry Pace on Radiolab. Wow, this one captivated me. It took some cool left turns too. I couldn't stop listening.

Phew! Enough for now. Keep these words in front of you as you persevere...

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul alike. (John Muir)

Feel free to reach out with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.  Thanks for reading!

 

May 2021: It's a Small World

Once in awhile I take a moment and reflect on how differently work life can unfold these days. For example, yesterday I had to get up a little earlier for a 7am call... I brewed a stiff 3-shot latte, turned on my screen and signed in for a call with people in Boise, Sarajevo and Bangkok! Our worlds spanned 7am for me, 4pm for Sarajevo, and 9pm for Bangkok. 

I finished with them, made some oatmeal, journaled a bit to prepare for the rest of my day, and signed on for a 9am call with someone in Germany. It was a great conversation. Though these international calls have become more typical for me, I still find the novelty of it enjoyable. I also feel challenged to keep learning about effective communication, connection, and collaboration under these conditions, whether someone is in Kuala Lumpur or Chicago.

This enlarged global perspective, fostered by these international clients and relationships, has also been deepened for me in the past year as we have collectively experienced COVID-19. I make it a point to regularly listen to the BBC Global News Podcast to make sure I don't get all my news through the tunnel vision of US politics. So today I am grieved by the worsening numbers of COVID cases in India and Brazil, even as my world here opens up incrementally more, especially after receiving my 2nd vaccine dose.

Bottom line: in a year where divisions have deepened and increased, I pray many of us have somehow grown in compassion in light of the shared trauma the world has gone through. One can hope.

* * * * * * *

Onward and upward to my recommendations for this month!

🌎 Armchair Expert Interview with Erin Meyer on the Culture Map. I have used this interview with all of my international clients. Honestly, I can't recommend it enough. As the world continues to connect globally through technology, we need to advance in our cultural and relational understanding as well. This interview is a hoot but also gives GREAT nuts and bolts about we often misunderstand each other. Don't skip this one.

❤️ Who We Are Now. This is an interactive piece with evocative photos, quotes and brief reflections from a wide swath of Americans. Outstanding, poignant, thought-provoking words on how people are processing what they've learned during the pandemic. I recommend it highly. 

🎧 Bessel van der Kolk: Our Bodies Keep Score (podcast interview). I mentioned here in February 2020 that I was reading Bessel Van der Kolk's powerful book, The Body Keeps the Score. It's a remarkable book, but also a bit of a heavy lift if you have plenty of other things on your plate (um, don't we all?!) So a second-best option would be to listen to this excellent interview of the author, where he applies his insights to what we are experiencing now.

🖥 What Is Your Organization’s Long-Term Remote Work Strategy? I've done a fair amount of reading on this and I've also taken a certificate course on remote work. I believe this article is a good summary of some of the dynamics at play. Before diving into the weeds of how all of this could and should happen, this article asks some of the bigger questions to reflect on first. I thought this article, Here’s What You Need to Know (and Ask) if Your Company’s Considering a Hybrid Work Setup, also provided a lot of helpful parameters.

📝 What Does It Mean to Be a Manager Today? Many of my conversations with senior leaders revolve around several unknowns: 

• How flexible do I need to be with the stress of returning to the office? 
• What do I do about expectations around the vaccine? 
• How do I plan ahead when we are still entering such uncharted territory? 

This article doesn't solve it all (don't I wish?!) but it does break some things down. 

📺 What I am watching... I am more of a reader than a watcher, but a few things caught my attention this month.

• Hemingway. This is a film documentary by Ken Burns and Lynn Novick. As a forever former English major, I was excited to watch this. Plus having enjoyed past Burns and Novick docs on the National Parks, the Roosevelts, Jackie Robinson, the Civil War, etc., my expectations were even higher and it did not disappoint. I binged it in 3 consecutive nights and was left with more questions than answers about the writer himself, his motivations, his mistakes, his genius. I immediately ordered his memoir A Moveable Feast to keep chewing on the questions. PS If you are not a subscriber to PBS, it's only $5/month, people! That's unlimited access to British Baking Show. What else do you need?!
• Derry Girls. I am late to this party but delighted in it all nonetheless. It didn't hurt that I had some extra time on my hands after my 2nd COVID vax left me on the couch with zero energy. I am now counting the days till Season Three comes out...
• WeWork: or The Making and Breaking of a $47 Billion Unicorn. I'm not sure if this is a story about a tech supernova that blew up, or a cult. It's a trip, regardless.

Final Thoughts.

As we each ease out of this pandemic into a different world from a year ago, be gracious with yourself and others. I read this this morning and it touched me deeply.

May you be blessed with good friends.

May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.

May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where

there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness.

May this change you.

May it transfigure that which is negative, distant, or cold in you.

May you be brought in to the real passion, kinship, and affinity of belonging.

May you treasure your friends.

May you be good to them and may you be there for them;

may they bring you all the blessing, challenges, truth,

and light that you need for your journey.

May you never be isolated.

May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your anam ċara.

-John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

APRIL 2021: Develop. Survive. Thrive. Reset.

I've gotten my first Pfizer shot, 2nd one is due soon and I cut 3 inches off my pandemic hair. The times, they are a-changing! I'm excited in some ways as things slowly open up, and concurrently concerned by the premature cancellation of mask-wearing, Spring Break travel busting out all over, and the variants. Eeesh.

As always, I've plowed a bunch of great tools and resources. Here goes!

Leadership Development. This is my favorite topic to talk about... so much so that I got interviewed on a podcast about it! And apparently the response was so strong (most downloads in their season after 1 1/2 days) that they asked me to come back for more. Thank you to those who listened. Upcoming interviews will be on burnout, remote team-building, and the how's and why's of leadership development (intern programs, onboarding, management training, performance reviews and about 15 other things!). Stay tuned.

More resources for leadership development:

• How to Step In as an Interim Manager. I have used this with a couple of clients and they found it very useful, as a sort of roadmap to get started.
• What I Learned from Taking Fridays Off. I liked this article because it's written by a seasoned leader, not a younger worker who just wants more time to mess around with friends (not that that is bad, but I'm well past that stage!) I've found that my stamina is so different as I've gotten older, and I need more time to decompress and "re-create." This article captures some of the issues around that.
• Coaching Real Leaders. This is my new favorite podcast (and I love me some podcasts!). I want to be Muriel Wilkins when I grow up.
  
• Most Requested Leadership Development Resources. I've done a little spring-cleaning on my website, and if you look to the right of this post --> --> -->, you'll see a boatload of the docs that clients request most from me. There are some gems in there. Have fun! Tell me which ones work for you and why.

Surviving and Thriving. I do wonder how we will all do as things shift beyond the pandemic. There is certainly no going "back" to the ways things were, but I can't tell what it will be like as we move forward. I think it might be like my experience during every finals week in college, when I pushed really hard with the carrot of knowing that I'd get to have a break... and promptly got sick as soon as I finished! I think once we let our guards down that some stuff might bubble to the surface. Let's be kind to ourselves and others as life unfolds...

• Beyond Burned Out. From the HBR "Big Idea" research for March/April 2021. I appreciated having an official definition of burnout, plus a reminder that it's not just an employee problem, but also an organizational one. Additionally, they offer interventions to avoid sustained burnout. A few other tidbits:
• Millennials have the highest levels of burnout.
• One of the greatest needs of employees is an empathetic manager.
• Leaders need to get the right systems in place NOW, before the NEXT crisis happens.
• CEO Stress, Aging, and Death. I know, I know, not a happy times title, but useful research here.
• Letters from Esther Perel: Routines and Rituals. Renowned therapist and relationship guru provides great questions for reflecting on the impact of the pandemic over the last year.
• Which small changes in pandemic habits will stick? Again, "don't waste the pandemic." Use this tumultuous experience to reflect, reset, reboot.

Mental Floss. We all need to take a breather during our days. Rather than mindlessly scroll through social media, try these...

• Celebrate random holidays with your team. Map these out throughout the calendar and use them to build fun, trust and good times.
• Team-Building Activities. And while you're building fun times into your team's calendar, use my team-building activities worksheet.
• Atlas Obscura podcast. This is a great way to imaginatively travel to new places in 15 minutes or less.

March 2021: THINK. SEE. HEAR. DO.

OOPS! I blinked and February sped past me. Wow. This month pulled me in several different directions with clients (for which I am incredibly thankful) AND I took a socially-distant RV trip with my best friend to celebrate my 60th (WHAT?!) birthday. We visited Zion, Bryce Canyon and Grand Canyon National Parks. I could fill this whole post with photos but... I also have a bunch of resources to share. So here is one photo of so many:

If you are so inclined, I cannot recommend each of these parks enough. This is a shot of Natural Bridge at Bryce Canyon. I was so refreshed by this trip!

And here are my recommendations for this month:

READING. Warning: Perhaps because I was an English major in college and read A LOT OF FICTION, my reading habits for the past several years have all been non-fiction. I am also a perpetual student, so I'm constantly reading about new things that interest me.

• Beyond Entrepreneurship 2.0. I'm reading this with 2 executive leaders right now and I was entirely won over after the first chapter. This is an update by Jim Collins, renowned author of Good to Great. This podcast interview of Collins in Nov 2020 convinced me that this would be a valuable read, and I was correct. 
• No Man is an Island. OK, this feeds my philosophical / theological / contemplative side. It's a classic by Thomas Merton. I'm reading this during Lent. Thick and thoughtful.
• Stop Softening Tough Feedback. This quick article had me at "hello" when it used the phrase "feedback sandwich," because I use that very phrase when coaching managers and executives. 

WATCHING. I cannot BELIEVE how much good, creative stuff is available right now. However, like my reading tastes, I veer more toward documentaries and reality shows (not the trashy stuff). Though I really, really loved Schitt's Creek. 

• Nomadland. I had heard raves about this film, and usually those sorts of things don't live up to the hype. But for me, this did not disappoint. Perhaps some of its impact was related to my recent trip all over Utah and Arizona, because this movie really captures much of the beauty of those wide open spaces. But the story, and the director's unique approach that wove together fiction and non-fiction, stayed with me after the film was over. It looks at some hard realities in our country, but it wasn't overwhelming.
• In and Of Itself. I am reluctant to say much about this film. Just watch it. Very powerful.
• Stanley Tucci "Searching for Italy." Remember when I said I like reality shows? THIS is what I mean. For context: I love, love, love Italy ~ I've been twice: first to Rome, Florence and Cinque Terre and later another trip to Naples, Amalfi Coast and Pompeii. If you are feeling uber-restless about not being able to travel much, this will scratch your itch. Then follow up with Chef's Table: France.

LISTENING. As I have mentioned multiple times here, I'm a podcast NERD. Here are just a few newbies:

• In Our Time by the BBC. I'm pretty confident you will either LOVE or HATE this. This podcast almost has me giddy. The combination of chippy British accents, delightful understatement and endless episodes about EVERYTHING under the sun is like Christmas for me.  Check it out.
• HBR Presents: After Hours. I have found this recently. I probably like the energetic, enthusiastic back-and-forth of the hosts as much as the content. But it covers current business trends in a concise, inviting way.
• Pivot. I believe I've mentioned this one before, but WOW there are So. Many. Confusing. Things going on right now. If you struggle (like me!) to understand bitcoin, blockchain, GameStop, short selling, SPACs... this is your show. Sure, the language is crass and their humor is a bit much at times, but they are in the game and really seem to get it.

WHAT AM I UP TO?

• Podcast Club. I've started doing a monthly podcast club for a client and we've done two months so far. I think it's working! I have at least 20 podcast episodes you can choose from, and we use the time to provide professional development, team building and interesting exchange. 
• Strengths Finder Leadership Domains. If you're familiar with Strengths Finder, they have divided the 34 individual talents into four leadership domains: Executing, Influencing, Relationship-Building, and Strategic Thinking. I'm doing a 4-month series with a client on these domains and they are providing excellent ways to reflect on how to motivate employees and maintain momentum.
• Favorite new hacks. These are basic but helpful:
• Chit Chat Cards. Looking for good icebreaker questions for 1:1's and team meetings? Sick of "How's it going?" or "What did you do this weekend?" These are great to get things going in new ways.
• Four Zoom Chat Tricks. Did you know you can save a Zoom chat!? I sure didn't. Read on for more helpful tips...
• Remote Team Building Resources. It's not quite ready for prime time, but I'm in the midst of building a resource list for you to be able to access for ideas on how to creatively build TRUST and CONNECTION on your team as we work in this remote environment.

Please feel free to reach out to set up a time to connect and work together. Be well. kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.