🌼 March 2024: Transitions, Tips, Tasks and Top 5

One of the many things I enjoy about my work is the variety of clients and situations I get to work with. In any given day I may get to work with Gen Z college students, a higher ed executive, a team working on ecological preservation and restoration, and leaders creating opportunities for first-time home buyers from marginalized populations. And then the next day I'm hearing from engineers navigating the ever-changing landscape of AI, coaching a founder of a non-profit teaching code to refugees, and following up with a former student needing some insight on a career pivot. I learn something from each one of them, and deeply value their trust and willingness to consider challenging questions.

I'm currently reading Generations: The Real Differences between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers and Silents -- and What They Mean for America's Future by Jean Twenge in preparation for some presentations I've been asked to give on what it takes to manage Gen Z'ers. While I have lived long enough to know that each generation has its own unique qualities and challenges, what is standing out to me the most about the book so far is that there are some very unique dynamics that we are currently facing in the world today. Between teaching a college class of 20-22 year olds and recently celebrating another birthday that gets me that much closer to the classic age of retirement, what is standing out to me the most is this trend described by Twenge as "taking longer to grow up, and longer to grow older." In other words, people are reaching milestones like driver's license, getting married and retiring at far different ages than they did in the past. In turn, that is changing a lot of sociological dynamics. And I am seeing and experiencing those in real time.

So perhaps that is the lens through which I especially noticed this month's recommendations. Let me know if any of them spark your interest. Thanks for reading.

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🍼 👨🏽‍🦳 Parents, Young Adult Children and the Transition to Adulthood. This comes from Pew Research and provides some fascinating and robust data. Here's a teaser statistic: Parents are very involved in their young adult children’s lives. Majorities say they text (73%) or talk on the phone (54%) with a young adult child at least a few times a week. Given that I talked to my parents once a week on the phone while I was in college because long distance was so expensive, I cannot even imagine this! Scroll down further in the article and you will see 5 additional "chapters" to this report that are worth paying special attention to.

🧰 9 Tips for Landing a Job if You're Over 50. Several of my #careercoaching clients are in that #midlife time of reassessing their professional and life #goals. Many of our conversations touch on several of the strategies suggested here. 

🎉 How to Create Your Own "Year in Review." I am having multiple conversations with #clients about #annualreviews and I am trying to equip them to be able to talk about themselves in energetic and engaging ways. If you are struggling to get started, I think this article from #HBR can stir the creative juices.

5️⃣ New and Improved CliftonStrengths Top 5 report. As of January 20, Gallup has created a new and improved Top Five results report. I encourage you to log back in to the Gallup website, then look on the right side and click on “CliftonStrengths Top 5 Report.” It’s 19 pages and shows how each of your top 5 pairs with your #1, among other things. This is providing really NEW and valuable insights to the clients I have used it with so far. PRO TIP: Use this expanded info to prepare for job interviews and performance reviews. Tell me what you think!

😵‍💫 A List of Soul-Sucking Tasks and How They Affect You According to Your Strengths. More than likely, you have done CliftonStrengths at least once with me and know that I like to talk about the Balcony and the Basement. Here's another interesting list of situations that you might encounter at work and why they can be frustrating for you. If anything, it will provide a good laugh.

👩🏽‍💼 Executive Presence for Women. Great discussion with very specific advice on how to carry yourself professionally, especially in a remote context. I’ve already used it with two clients.

👵🏽 Redesigning Retirement. So I'm a little closer to the classic #retirement age than I'd like to admit... yet this article will surprise you as to the growing trends among 65-75 year olds. Check this out: "Seventy-one percent of Americans who are 65 or older say that the best time of their lives is not in the past but right now or still in front of them. And 83% say that feeling 'useful' is more important to them than feeling 'youthful.'”

🎧 If you want or need a healthy distraction... Maybe it is just me, but between world events and national politics, I am already getting overwhelmed and stressed out. If you want a fun and relatively productive distraction, I recommend this new podcast called WikiHole. A bit hard to explain, but it's a weekly collection of comedians falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes. Give it a try!

Thanks for reading -- feel free to pass this along to a friend or coworker. And I love hearing from you all with questions, comments and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!

☔️ February 2024: Fulfilling Work, Giving Feedback, Finding Flow State

Yesterday I met with a client whom I had not met with since late December, so we greeted each other with "Happy New Year!" and then both laughed at the realization that that greeting feels a little goofy now that it is February. But I feel like I blinked and January was somehow over -- how did it speed by so quickly??

Living in Santa Barbara, we are on day 4 of very heavy rains... I am feeling some deep cabin fever, but instead of giving into it, I'll dig out my latest recommendations for you instead. Perhaps part of why January flew by for me is that I had so many enjoyable and substantial conversations with clients and teams. If you fall into either category, consider yourself appreciated! Here are some resources I have used recently...

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🔛 Questions for 1:1 meetings. Some of my clients are slowly revving up for performance reviews, or perhaps just digging themselves out of winter doldrums. Wherever you find yourself, here are some questions from Harvard Business Review:

From “5 Questions Every Manager Needs to Ask Their Direct Reports”

• How would you like to grow within this organization?

• Do you feel a sense of purpose in your job?

• What do you need from me to do your best work?

• What are we currently not doing as a company that you feel we should do?

• Do you have the opportunity to do what you do best every day?

From “It’s Time to Reimagine Employee Retention”

• What motivates you most about the work you do today?

• What are the talents you want to build a reputation for?

• What career possibilities would you like to learn more about?

🥪 Stop serving the compliment sandwich. Coupled with thoughtful feedback during those 1:1's are often some constructive suggestions for improvement. At all costs, avoid the temptation to "put a slice of praise on the top and the bottom, and stick the meat of your criticism in between." This article will give you the tools to provide the "radical candor" needed, but in a manageable and palatable way.

🧰 The Need for Professional Development. OK, so the title embedded in this link is actually, "Most of your employees don’t want to be managers. Here’s how to support what they do want." Apparently studies have shown that only 1 out of 10 employees want to be managers! But here lies the conundrum: "Nevertheless, the statistic reflects the reality that organizations need to consider how to help employees chart a path of longevity that does not necessarily include management. When employees do not want to become managers yet lack a viable alternative, they can be left unsatisfied, reducing employee engagement and retention for the organization." The solution? Investing in the professional development of your employees! Look to the right side of today's post -- I've included a new block of the most requested trainings I can provide to you or your team. Let's get started.

🧘🏽‍♂️ Finding Your Flow State. I sure am seeing a bunch of articles about how to focus, cut down on distractions, go into “monk mode,” schedule times for “deep work,” etc. But do I actually KNOW my best conditions for getting into the zone and cranking out creative, energetic, productive stuff? Do you? Here’s an exercise to help you define how you might get there.

Thank you for reading -- please share it with a friend or co-worker. And reach out at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me with questions or inquiries as to how we can work together. Ciao!

January 2024: Focus, Five Questions, and a Fun Book

I hope your 2024 is getting off to a good start. I just finished a two-week natural detox to reboot my immune system, this week I started teaching an internship course for the semester to fourteen undergrads, and I've gained three new individual coaching clients in the last two weeks. Other than trying to avoid Covid bubbling around me, I'm feeling energized. Enjoy my latest recommendations and tell me how you are doing.

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🥳 Word of the Year! This is a fun exercise I do every year and send it to my friends. Does it mean anything? Not really... but it's a fun way to spark some energy and creativity to kick off your new year. Give it a spin -- and if you don't like your first word, try again 😆

😱 The Dark Side of the Obsession With Focus. One of my favorite authors, Oliver Burkeman, author of my favorite book of 2022, Four Thousand Weeks, is back with more valuable content. Take 45 minutes to listen to this interview. I'm pretty confident you won't regret it.

​5️⃣ 1:1 Questions for the New Year. I got these from Lisa Cummings at LeadThroughStrengths.com. Answer these 5 prompts for yourself first -- they are clues to your top natural talents:

• I’ve always nerded out on these topics and types of activities:
• This comes easily to me, yet not to others (things you do or the way you think):
• I get a jolt of energy when I’m...
• I lost track of time the last time I was…
• Someone told me I’m good at...

THEN, if you lead a team at work, ​ask the 5 questions to each team member in a 1:1. Some of them will be tough to answer on-the-spot, yet get what you can in-person. Then have them come back with insights on the difficult ones. This will give you new ideas about what projects to assign each person in the future.

🧘🏽‍♂️ From Inner Critic to Inner Coach. I am so intrigued at how certain issues come in waves in my work with clients. Naturally, I'm speaking in huge generalities here, but before the pandemic, much of my coaching requests revolved around learning how to #lead and #manage. Then during the pandemic, the majority of my work centered on #stressmanagement and overall #wellbeing. Now, even though COVID seems to be showing up for yet another wave and there are two big wars happening, I'm finding that client conversations tend to be swirling around #career trajectory and #jobsatisfaction. I have more individual clients than I've ever had, and many of them are wondering what could be next... yet at the same time they are really hard on themselves and think they cannot compete in today's job market. If this sounds at all familiar, take a few minutes to look over this worksheet. Contact me if you want to talk about it!

🔭 Getting In Front of AI. I'm sharing this podcast episode as much as this particular contributor. I am consistently finding Ethan Mollick to be calm, reliable, helpful resource when it comes to understanding AI. When I randomly ask friends or clients whether they have been using AI, I'm finding that's it about 50/50 -- some are excited by it, others haven't tried it (and a couple weren't even sure what it is!). By no means am I an expert, but I have found it useful in a variety of interesting ways so far. Tell me what your experience has been.

📖 Getting There: A Book of Mentors. I started this last week and I'm enjoying it. Do I admire every single person profiled? Nope. But enough of them are worth learning from, and I always love a good story, to make it worthwhile. If you need a good reminder of how much life is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration," and is also easy to pick up and out down in 10 minutes at a time, this book is for you.

Thanks for reading -- feel free to pass this along to a friend or coworker. And send me questions and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Onward and upward!

November 2023: 🍁 Fall Favorites So Far

I know it sounds ridiculous to some of you, but here in Santa Barbara we were able to shift to sweaters just this week... so now it finally feels like fall. Please enjoy my recommendations for this month!

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👩Women at Work. To say the least, this is a topic close to my heart! Despite having just finished a summer with the Barbie movie and multi-million dollar tours for Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, I will verify that women by and large still face unique challenges in the workplace. In light of my 40 years (GULP!) of leadership experience I can say some things have improved, but there are days where I am not so sure...

But I will save that conversation for another day. For this month, I want to share these excellent conversations and articles that focus entirely on specific workplace dynamics for women. Even if you aren't a woman, please check these out -- I can confidently assume you work with women, have significant others who are female, and/or have daughters! These conversations are valuable for everyone:

• The agents of change: How women are altering the power paradigm. There are so many quotable statements in this discussion, but I'll settle on this one: “'For those of us that have to navigate spaces where we are the minority, [it’s] part of our survival,' she says. 'The way that I'm allowed to be in this room, or in this place, is to make sure that I do not upset anyone around me.' [Nevertheless] Nekvapil teaches her clients that 'power is abundant,' and that one person having it doesn’t by default take it away from someone else." In other words, power is not finite. I have learned from experience that when I give power to others that I do not lose it -- in fact, it can enhance my power. Please take a listen to this episode.
• ADHD Is Different for Women. Perhaps the best interview I’ve listened to on this topic because it focuses solely on the unique ways that women experience ADHD -- including peri-menopausal and menopausal women.
• Forget the crisis. The ‘midlife collision’ is real and affecting a large part of the workforce. Many of my #clients tell me about the challenges described here. I appreciate the way the article frames the struggles faced in #midlife in a more granular way, especially as it relates to women's caregiving for multiple generations in their families. Here is another expression of this "collision" women face, described as a "portal." I appreciate that she frames this significant time in women's lives both as a crisis AND an awakening.

😩 Why Career Transition is So Hard. This must scratch where many people itch because I posted this article from #HBR on LinkedIn this week and it is generating a lot of traffic on my feed. It is by Herminia Ibarra, a wise author I trust, and goes well beyond the basic, obvious "tips" of most articles on this topic. I love this statement from her: "Career change is iterative. You can’t line everything up in advance. You have to figure things out over time and make adjustments as you go." The best part is that she then digs in and gives three strong pieces of advice to get you started on this process. I will be using this article with clients!

💰 US Economy Data. I don't normally post links like this (because they are WAY above my paygrade in terms of expertise) but I found this encouraging news from a "right of center" economist at George Mason University.

🤝 LinkedIn exec reveals exactly how AI is changing hiring and recruiting. Before you panic (or skip it because like me you are getting sick of AI hype), take in this quote from the article: "But he agrees with Chamorro-Premuzic that the soft skills that can’t be replaced by AI will continue to be an important differentiator for job seekers, citing the fact that 70% of U. S. executives surveyed by LinkedIn agree that soft skills are more important than AI skills right now."

👏🏽 What I'm Enjoying Right Now. All work and no play makes me a dull girl. I'm deeply enjoying:

• The Great British Baking Show. I never, ever tire of this one. And I'm really enjoying the new host Alison Hammond. She's a hoot!
• Beckham. Call me a sucker for yet another profile of British "royalty," but it is fascinating to watch.
• Welcome to Wrexham. Lots of British accents in my life these days, apparently! Each episode tends to give me a good laugh and a heartfelt tear or three.
• Sufjan Stevens' new album, Javelin. The first song had me at hello, and the whole album has been on repeat. I've also been taking in Seven Psalms by Paul Simon.
• McCartney: A Life in Lyrics. Oops, more British accents! 🤦🏽‍♀️ But I grew up as a child on the Beatles and these episodes recount how Paul McCartney came up with the lyrics to his songs.
• Leftover Halloween candy. More specifically, mini Swedish fish. An absolute FAVORITE!

Feel free to share this post with others, and reach out to me with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!

April 2023: "Just Keep Swimming..."

I was late posting for March, so I'm trying to recover by posting near the start of April. I suppose I could just list a few of the gajillion articles out there on AI and ChatGPT, but I will spare you. I certainly have plenty to share on other topics. As I compiled this month's list of recommendations, I realized that they all revolved around the need to press in and persist in the face of fatigue, discouragement, challenges and so on. So I titled this post based on Dory's little phrase that often runs through my head. Here goes!

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😵‍💫 Meeting Culture Run Amok with Christina Janzer. I have appreciated several episodes in this podcast series because they all address the new post-pandemic dynamics in the workplace. The host sums up this episode: “The idea that every problem, every issue, every roadblock in your organization can and should be solved by a meeting, that’s meeting culture. And it’s a real problem for most organizations I know.” This link includes the transcript, and I recommend printing it out and using it for a team discussion to evaluate your online meeting practices.

🔌 A Human Energy Crisis. This is intriguing. I haven't done academic research on this, but anecdotally I can verify that I have multiple conversations each week with #coaching clients about #motivation, #resilience, #burnout, #anxiety, and all other sorts of personal or professional challenges. How are you doing?

📜 How adding ‘microcrocredentials’ to your résumé can help clinch that new job. This has been my experience -- I have taken a few short but useful online certificate courses and it has sparked interest, expanded my knowledge base, and brought value to my clients.

😱 How High Achievers Overcome Their Anxiety. I have had SO MANY #coachingconversations with clients on the topic of #anxiety and how to manage it. Take time to read over the 11 most common "thought traps" - this article puts words to what many people experience.

😇 Why Americans Care About Work So Much. As someone who spent 30 years working in a vocational career in religious institutions and non-profits, this is an especially interesting article. As the author says, "Here is a history of work in six words: from jobs to careers to callings." Do you feel your job is your “calling”? This article is behind a paywall so I printed it out from my email - forgive the slightly wonky format.

🫣 Seeking feedback. I am meeting with several clients in preparation for #performancereviews... But to get over the once-a-year dread, here are some tips on how to seek out #feedback from your manager throughout the year. Even better, here is how leaders can get the feedback they need to grow as well.

January 2023: Reading, Reflection and Revving Up

I don't know about you, but I'm having a bit of a hard time getting going again after the long break. Part of it could be the dark and dreary days of late (that's right, Santa Barbara is actually having weather recently, with many days of rain and overcast, which we certainly need), but I am guessing part of it is also how the holidays fell this year, which allowed for consecutive long weekends, about which I am NOT complaining!

But it is time to get started, and I am hoping that writing this post will assist me in revving up for 2023! I hope it proves the same for you. 

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💥 Word of the Year Generator. There is nothing magical or prophetic about this. It is just a fun exercise to jump start your vision and strategy for 2023. My word was “Inspire” ~ I’ll take it! I spent some time in my journal considering how I might gain inspiration in the coming year, and how I might inspire others.

I passed it along to a few friends… one received the word “Yes!” and she loved it. Another received “Burn” and that was energizing for her: what might she burn down this year? What fires her up?

Yet another received the word “Work.” Nope! She didn’t want that one… the second was “Youth” - no connection for her there. Then she got “Surprise” and that worked. Again, no rules here. Just have fun with it, see if it sparks something for you and pass it along to others.

✅ Best Productivity Apps for 2023. This may feel like I am talking out of both sides of my mouth because I am a huge fan of the authors Oliver Burkeman and Walter Brueggemann, who both say that we need to focus far less on productivity and much more on being present and mindful. I could not agree more.

Nevertheless, I am also realistic that each of us are responsible for getting work done, and many of the apps described here are helpful in self-organizing and prioritizing. These words from the article put it well: 

The problem: productivity is deeply personal, and the words "productivity tools" mean a lot of different things to different people. What works for you may or may not work for me, which is why—after over a decade of writing about productivity software—I don't really believe there are objectively "best" productivity apps… Just remember: the specific app doesn't matter. The best productivity app is the one that works best for you. The most important thing is having a system.

⏰ Wake Up Your LinkedIn Profile. I often coach people who need help finding a new job or even a new career. One of the many key elements in that process is starting / improving / refining / maintaining your LinkedIn profile and presence.

First of all: I highly recommend working on your profile before you need to find a job. No doubt you are discouraged and exhausted when that time to transition comes, and the creative juices are often squeezed out by fear and stress. So please make a resolution to work on LinkedIn proactively and consistently, not just when you need to look for a job... you just never know :) Here are three links I recommend:

• Thirteen LinkedIn Banners and Examples
• How to Get Noticed on LinkedIn ~ Coaching for Leaders podcast
• 31 LinkedIn Tips to Make Your Profile Shine

📚 What Did I Read // What Am I Reading? I have mentioned here before that I am a recovering English major, so I am a BIG reader. (I also have Input as my #5 talent in StrengthsFinder). I have a few friends who are frustrated with me that I do not read fiction... I don't have big explanations for this other than perhaps I burned out on having to read two books a week throughout four years of college, the majority of which was fiction? ANYWAY, here are my top five favorite books from 2022, though it is difficult to narrow it down:

1. 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. I am relentlessly pumping up this book by Oliver Burkeman (as I have done so previously on this blog). So, so good. It really made me reflect on my fierce focus on productivity and how that is unhealthy in so many ways. I can say I feel changed by this book.
2. On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old. One of the favorite authors of my life is Parker Palmer, and he does not disappoint here. I initially was not interested in this book because he was writing from his 80 year-old perspective, and I did not think I was in that mindset yet. But I was humbled to realize that I should not wait until I'm 80 to think back (and forward) on my life --- DUH. 
3. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. I feel like the title says it all. I recommend this book to so many clients and when the 25th anniversary edition came out this year, I decided to read it again. Gulp. This book kicked my ass, plain and simple.
4. Calypso. Few writers make me laugh out loud like David Sedaris. His stories, especially about his family, are hilarious, and yet sometimes also a punch in the gut. Who needs fiction when I can read stuff like this?!
5. How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question. My favorite show streamed during COVID was The Good Place, and after I finished it I became borderline obsessed with the ideas behind the show and with its creator, Mike Schur. When I heard about this book, which emerged from his work on the show, I snapped it up. His goal was to write a book about philosophy that his teenage children would understand, and that was perfect for me! Check it out.

What Am I Reading? I am almost always working on a few books at a time, so here goes:

• Sabbath as Resistance: Saying No to the Culture of Now. Remember, I mentioned Walter Brueggemann earlier. This book is a stunner. I'm trying not to rush through it. 
• Writers and Their Notebooks. I think I read more about writing than do much actual writing. Oh well. I find this book super interesting. And it's easy to pick up and just read for a few minutes.
• Talent: How to Identify Energizers, Creatives and Winners Around the World. I have not officially started this one, but it's in the hopper. I work with several clients regarding recruiting, interviewing and retention, and this is apparently *the* book of the moment in that arena. Stay tuned.

⁇ 🤔 Questions for the New Year. I will end with this. As I mentioned in last month's post, I am a big fan of journaling, and a great resource for journaling prompts is the therapist Esther Perel. Here are her New Year's prompts:

What are your associations with the “new year”?

Does the promise of new beginnings motivate you?

Does the conclusion of the previous year stress you out?

Do you prefer to bring in the new year dancing with others or in quiet contemplation with yourself? Why?

What area of your life could use more structure?

What area of your life could use more spontaneity?

As I said, I hope these recommendations rev you up for 2023. Thanks for reading -- feel free to pass this along to a friend or coworker. And please send questions or feedback, or set up a free 30-minute consultation, at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers! 

August 2022: Stay the Course

In May I shared that I had broken my left ankle and that I was heading into a l-o-n-g recovery that I dubbed the "Summer of Slow." July 31st marked twelve weeks since my accident! There has been some good progress: I've moved from the leg scooter to crutches to a mere walking stick (without the boot), but my ability to walk is rather severely limited by two long screws that are still connecting my two leg bones to allow for healing. Thus I am counting the days (hours? minutes?) till they are removed on August 17. 

One upside of all this is that it has forced allowed more time for reading and reflection. So this month's set of recommendations are perhaps a bit more plentiful than usual. Last month I talked about "course-correcting" as I sought to move from surviving to thriving; this month I want to share some of the things I'm reading and learning about that are helping me to stay on that course. I hope they are beneficial to you as well!

🗺 Career Planning. Many people reach out to me for help in figuring out their next steps job-wise, especially during #TheGreatResignation (which some call the #TheGreatReassessment). But I am surprised to find that many if not most have not really done much career planning -- in other words, people know how to look for a job, but they may not have a definitive career path. This article is a good start - hit me up if you want or need more resources. #lookingforjob #lookingforchange

🔎 Managing Oneself. Perhaps that recommendation above could be "Part One" in your career map and this link could be "Part Two." Do not pass up this article when you see that it was written in 1999 ~ as one close friend told me, it is a gem 💎.  As stated in the intro, "This article challenges readers to take responsibility for managing their futures, both in and out of the office." The author, Peter Drucker, is someone you want to become familiar with if you are not already.

🗣 The 4 Most Important Voices for a Senior Leader. Here's a good inventory to use... as leaders we usually need to build a personal #boardofdirectors to cultivate and sustain long-term #growthmindset and #motivation. Do you have these four voices in your life?  #leadership #leaders

🎯 Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership. A podcast interview that is a master class on leadership. I’ve referenced Marshall Goldsmith before, and this one is even better. 

🎧 Flourish FM podcasts. Excellent podcast series on the whole area of wellbeing, flourishing, meaning and purpose. I especially appreciated Episode #2 on the importance of meaning. The series is generated by research from the Harvard Flourishing Program. This has been a great resource for my own growth and learning on wellbeing.

🧨 Burnout: A thread on how it works and how to deal with it. This bubbled up on my Twitter feed and I found it enlightening.

⏳ The philosophy of middle age. I would say the top three topics that clients bring to me are: 1) management or leadership needs; 2) wellbeing; 3) mid-life crisis! This is a “you too?!” podcast discussion that I definitely recommend. They open by defining mid-life crisis as a “general malaise” and then discuss the feelings, options, etc.

💭 Pandemic reflections from an executive coach. I have to say that I resonate with most of his experience as described here: clients are re-evaluating when, where, and why they and their employees are now choosing to meet in person -- almost none of my clients are returning to their 2019 working arrangements, but they are enjoying occasional in-person meetings. Additionally, many are seeing the pandemic as a learning experience that enabled their organizations to become more flexible on a permanent basis… As I kept saying at the outset of all this, the pandemic did not create any of the issues we were facing, it only accelerated them. I imagine we'll be studying and reflecting on these years following March 2020 for years to come.

Thanks for reading -- is there someone who would benefit from reading this as well? As always, send feedback at questions to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.

April 2022: Endurance

Last month I noted that the intense nature of these last two years feel more like ten years on most days. Watching this horrific war unfold in Ukraine has only intensified the weight of the challenges we are seeing and experiencing. 

In multiple conversations with clients last week, I used the remarkable events at this year's Oscars (which already has its own Wikipedia page!) as a metaphor for what it feels like is going on everywhere: difficulties and conflicts seem to escalate to 11 immediately, which tells me that we are each fraying at the seams. We are exhausted emotionally, and now have little bandwidth for anything unwanted or unexpected. Given the content of what I am talking about with clients these days, I am certainly seeing that. My last recommendation for this month's post speaks to what we need to seek after as we press on.

With all of that in mind, I found these resources most helpful. I hope you enjoy them too.

🧭 Redefining Your Purpose in the Wake of the Pandemic. In conversations with many clients from all over the world in these past two years, I have found that one "upside" of the pandemic has been that many, if not most, people have gone through some sort of existential crisis, taking some time to reflect on the meaning, direction and purpose of their lives. This is obviously a bigger topic than this article can cover, but it does provide a starting point. 

📏 The Imperfectionist: The reverse golden rule. Admittedly, after reading Oliver Burkeman's book, 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, I've become a bit of a groupie for everything he writes... This is a brief and worthwhile tidbit from his newsletter.

❤️‍🩹 Ann Patchett: Behold, These Precious Days. Perfectly delightful conversation about writing and what it means to be friends through suffering. Take the time to listen to it. 

💰 Are you middle class? Use this cost-of-living calculator and map to find out. Admittedly, these sort of things are too fun. Take a spin with Family Budget Calculator and the Family Budget Map. Make sure you zoom in on the Family Budget Map to do some comparisons. WOW. Scary as it might be, it certainly is worthwhile to get a gauge of how you are situated economically. And while you're at it, read this random U.S.A. fact of the day regarding the change in population in America's ten largest cities between 1950 and 2020. 

⚓️ Endurance: Shackleton's lost ship is found in Antarctic. I have been a huge fan of the Shackleton expedition for years. The story of the entire experience is utterly spellbinding (this is my favorite account of it) and a remarkable study of #leadership. And now the wreckage has been found, 100 years to the day of Shackleton's funeral. Make sure you watch the short video of the wreckage on this link. The story is one we may need to be reminded of as we persevere through seemingly endless challenges....

Thanks for reading. Feel free to pass it along to someone you know. And send me feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.

December 2021: What is Work?

During calls with clients one day this week, I "went" to Bosnia, Thailand, and England -- and Chicago in the US. I could never have imagined that work could look like that even ten years ago. It is equal parts fascinating and disorienting. Each day, week, and month I am seeing more and more how work is shifting and changing: when it happens, how it is accomplished, who I collaborate with, how we communicate, how it grows... just to name a few of the transformations I'm witnessing and experiencing.

This month's post is all about the ways I'm thinking and learning about "work." There is no order of importance or sequence here... each thing I list this month simply speaks somehow to the question of "What is work?"

🕰 The Future Of Work Is Asynchronous—And These Companies Are Leading The Way. I'm having so many conversations about this, but it requires a massive paradigm shift in the way projects are managed and work is accomplished. Once you actually start understanding and using these new, foreign words "asynchronous" and "synchronous," this article might help you jumpstart the paradigm shifting process. Go ahead -- take the leap!

🧠 Neurodiversity at Work. I have already shared this individually with several people and with a team of managers. This is a tremendous episode. We ALL work with and know neurodiverse people, even if we don't realize it... ADHD, OCD, dyslexia, autism spectrum: all fall under this grouping of neurodiversity. This podcast episode is wonderful and enlightening, including interviews with a man on the autism spectrum who worked as an intern at Procter & Gamble, a supervisor of neurodiverse employers, and a clinician. Please listen and share this with others. We all need to keep learning about this to be better colleagues, supervisors, friends, family members and citizens.

🪜 HBR Ascend. This is my new favorite Instagram account, though I've linked you to their website here. It is designed to "help young professionals find their place in the working world and realize their personal and career goals." Lots of good material on starting a career, well-being, and pursuing professional development. Everyone would benefit from the content here.

👨🏽‍💻 Workers of the world, stay home! I know, there are so many opinions swirling about remote work. But this interview with Anne Helen Petersen and Charlie Warzel is a discussion about the real issue: how we define, measure and accomplish work in the 21st century.

🙏🏽 Pico Iyer and Elizabeth Gilbert – The Future of Hope. Admittedly, this conversation is really about LIFE, not work. It seems to capture so much of what we have all gone through since March 2020, and I just had to include it. Listen to it in a quiet space. It is very tender and thoughtful. 

🏴‍☠️ Random Stuff! These were all fun things I bumped into when I needed a brain break so my brain wouldn't break... (har de har har).

• Free Classic Books Online. A very clean and simple website called "Library Athena." But of course you have read these lovely works already! 🤣
• How Bowling Balls Are Made. Could. Not. Stop. Watching. This.
• Book Donkey. In case you need to be reminded of your many blessings, and of the beauty tucked into so many places in the world. 
• Cool organizational tool. I received this from a client (and former student who is now a stud!). Looks so-o-o-o nice.

Final thoughts...

"We are what we repeatedly do."
Aristotle (via Will Durant)

Many thanks for reading.... As always, feel free to reach out to me with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

July 2021: Reflections on Returning

I don't know about you, but I am finding this a rather disorienting time. I am certainly thankful we're not quite as fraught as this time last year (escalating COVID numbers in the US, protests sparked by George Floyd's murder, and a contentious presidential campaign), but things are still complicated and scary. Just checking the news this morning sent chills: a presidential assassination in Haiti, chaos in Afghanistan as the US withdraws troops, rising numbers of bodies found in the condo collapse in Florida. I can chalk up some of the anxiety to the endless 24-hour news cycle, but these are tragedies regardless.

Fun blog post opening, right?! But I cannot try to happy talk my way around what I am hearing. At the same time, I am finding that it all becomes somewhat more manageable if I talk about it with those I trust. This is one of the things I have experienced out of the pandemic -- people are more willing to talk about difficult things more readily. The resources I am listing this month are borne from those conversations and reflections. I hope they prove useful to you too.

The Age of Reopening Anxiety. Sure, there are a TON of articles out there about life post-pandemic. I felt like this one actually had something to say. [Hint: note the new term "cave syndrome."] I especially liked it because it put words to some of the hazy feelings and thoughts I was having. Even better, it's not all gloom and doom. As stated at one point in the piece, "Some individuals’ private lives had benefitted from the slowdown. 'Some people have let themselves discover empty time, and actually inhabit it, and not be pulled into the ever-present temptation to fill it,' he said."

You Can’t Cure Your Employee’s Existential Crisis. But You Can Help. While the previous article addresses more of our personal life challenges as we slowly return from the pandemic, this article is more geared toward the role of leaders and managers in the workplace.

How Do You Ask Good Questions? I suppose this post emerges from a discussion around how to be a good podcast interviewer. But in the spirit of the "I have forgotten how to socialize" dilemma that many are feeling as we return to in-person gatherings, I think this has some good ideas to try out.

What I Am Reading And Listening To. So many different things are occupying my attention right now as I try to process all the crazy going on:

• Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted. I’m semi-obsessed with this book by Suleika Jaouad. My friend Nancy Rust, a writer, recommended this to me. I read it in about 5 days. You know that feeling, where you are reading it when you brush your teeth, go to the bathroom, make breakfast. The experience got extended when she was interviewed on several of my go-to podcasts and I learned even more. She provides profound insights on mortality, purpose in life, writing, suffering, etc. That has prompted great opportunities for reflection. My favorite interview of her was this one with Tim Ferriss. Fun extra: go to Jaouad's website, theisolationjournals.com, and sign up for their free weekly journaling prompts if you are already a journal keeper or want to get started.
• Can't Even: How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation. Anne Helen Peterson provides fascinating (and sometimes cranky) insights on the struggles for Millennials and Gen Z as their early education and work experiences bridge the Great Recession of 2008-2009 and the recent pandemic. These younger generations have gotten a bad rap and clears that up real quick. Wow. She also has a newsletter on Substack that is pretty darn interesting.
• Plenty: Eating Locally on the 100-Mile Diet. This was a re-read for me to provide renewed motivation for good "food hygiene" in terms of eating seasonally, organically, and locally.  I first read this book 10 years ago or so, when I first decided to try eating seasonally and organically. "Locally" is mostly possible, but I have some dietary restrictions that sometimes makes that less possible. But Michael Pollan, in "In Defense of Food," taught me how to shop around the edges of a grocery store.
• The "Sunday Read from the NYTimes." This is a part of The Daily podcast but it's become a regular Sunday habit for me to hear long-form journalism audibly. I recommend this recent episode about the woman who insured we would learn about Van Gogh. Amazing!
• PBS News Hour. Feels less panicked and less dramatic that standard cable news, who feel like they are trying to stir me up hourly into a frenzy. I listen to the podcast while I'm making dinner and get caught up the latest without getting heartburn. I also occasionally listen to BBC World News to make sure my perspective is not too US-centric.
• Smartless. 100% silly, guilty pleasure. Few podcasts make me laugh out loud, but this is one of them. A fun way to unwind. Favorite episode so far: the interview with Maya Rudolph.
  
  
• 
  
  Last but not least: Read about a 70 year old woman who was the first woman to thru-hike the
  Appalachian Trail alone -- and she did it in tennis shoes. Wow. Who knew? Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself, I can think about Emma Gatewood. Sheesh.

Thanks for reading... stay tuned for updates on more recent podcast interviews (I just recorded two this morning!) and coaching conversations. Reach out to me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me with questions or feedback.

May 2021: It's a Small World

Once in awhile I take a moment and reflect on how differently work life can unfold these days. For example, yesterday I had to get up a little earlier for a 7am call... I brewed a stiff 3-shot latte, turned on my screen and signed in for a call with people in Boise, Sarajevo and Bangkok! Our worlds spanned 7am for me, 4pm for Sarajevo, and 9pm for Bangkok. 

I finished with them, made some oatmeal, journaled a bit to prepare for the rest of my day, and signed on for a 9am call with someone in Germany. It was a great conversation. Though these international calls have become more typical for me, I still find the novelty of it enjoyable. I also feel challenged to keep learning about effective communication, connection, and collaboration under these conditions, whether someone is in Kuala Lumpur or Chicago.

This enlarged global perspective, fostered by these international clients and relationships, has also been deepened for me in the past year as we have collectively experienced COVID-19. I make it a point to regularly listen to the BBC Global News Podcast to make sure I don't get all my news through the tunnel vision of US politics. So today I am grieved by the worsening numbers of COVID cases in India and Brazil, even as my world here opens up incrementally more, especially after receiving my 2nd vaccine dose.

Bottom line: in a year where divisions have deepened and increased, I pray many of us have somehow grown in compassion in light of the shared trauma the world has gone through. One can hope.

* * * * * * *

Onward and upward to my recommendations for this month!

🌎 Armchair Expert Interview with Erin Meyer on the Culture Map. I have used this interview with all of my international clients. Honestly, I can't recommend it enough. As the world continues to connect globally through technology, we need to advance in our cultural and relational understanding as well. This interview is a hoot but also gives GREAT nuts and bolts about we often misunderstand each other. Don't skip this one.

❤️ Who We Are Now. This is an interactive piece with evocative photos, quotes and brief reflections from a wide swath of Americans. Outstanding, poignant, thought-provoking words on how people are processing what they've learned during the pandemic. I recommend it highly. 

🎧 Bessel van der Kolk: Our Bodies Keep Score (podcast interview). I mentioned here in February 2020 that I was reading Bessel Van der Kolk's powerful book, The Body Keeps the Score. It's a remarkable book, but also a bit of a heavy lift if you have plenty of other things on your plate (um, don't we all?!) So a second-best option would be to listen to this excellent interview of the author, where he applies his insights to what we are experiencing now.

🖥 What Is Your Organization’s Long-Term Remote Work Strategy? I've done a fair amount of reading on this and I've also taken a certificate course on remote work. I believe this article is a good summary of some of the dynamics at play. Before diving into the weeds of how all of this could and should happen, this article asks some of the bigger questions to reflect on first. I thought this article, Here’s What You Need to Know (and Ask) if Your Company’s Considering a Hybrid Work Setup, also provided a lot of helpful parameters.

📝 What Does It Mean to Be a Manager Today? Many of my conversations with senior leaders revolve around several unknowns: 

• How flexible do I need to be with the stress of returning to the office? 
• What do I do about expectations around the vaccine? 
• How do I plan ahead when we are still entering such uncharted territory? 

This article doesn't solve it all (don't I wish?!) but it does break some things down. 

📺 What I am watching... I am more of a reader than a watcher, but a few things caught my attention this month.

• Hemingway. This is a film documentary by Ken Burns and Lynn Novick. As a forever former English major, I was excited to watch this. Plus having enjoyed past Burns and Novick docs on the National Parks, the Roosevelts, Jackie Robinson, the Civil War, etc., my expectations were even higher and it did not disappoint. I binged it in 3 consecutive nights and was left with more questions than answers about the writer himself, his motivations, his mistakes, his genius. I immediately ordered his memoir A Moveable Feast to keep chewing on the questions. PS If you are not a subscriber to PBS, it's only $5/month, people! That's unlimited access to British Baking Show. What else do you need?!
• Derry Girls. I am late to this party but delighted in it all nonetheless. It didn't hurt that I had some extra time on my hands after my 2nd COVID vax left me on the couch with zero energy. I am now counting the days till Season Three comes out...
• WeWork: or The Making and Breaking of a $47 Billion Unicorn. I'm not sure if this is a story about a tech supernova that blew up, or a cult. It's a trip, regardless.

Final Thoughts.

As we each ease out of this pandemic into a different world from a year ago, be gracious with yourself and others. I read this this morning and it touched me deeply.

May you be blessed with good friends.

May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.

May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where

there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness.

May this change you.

May it transfigure that which is negative, distant, or cold in you.

May you be brought in to the real passion, kinship, and affinity of belonging.

May you treasure your friends.

May you be good to them and may you be there for them;

may they bring you all the blessing, challenges, truth,

and light that you need for your journey.

May you never be isolated.

May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your anam ċara.

-John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

January 2021: Reflection, Resources and Remote Work

Where do I begin? In some ways I have some genuine energy around the beginning of this new year. I found the Thursday through Sunday breaks of Christmas and New Year's almost magical this time around... truly restful. I set aside time for reflection and really processed this past nightmare, er um, 2020 year. I even did some goal-setting, although I'm trying to be realistic about how much one can predict as to what lies ahead.

So this month's set of recommendations and resources are pretty hefty. I have used all of them personally or with clients. You may want to bookmark this post ~ it's a bounty of interesting stuff. Happy 2021, friends. Let's be in it together. In a socially distant way, anyway...

Reflection. Like I said, I had some extra EXTRA time for reflection during this break thanks to no travel and a very quiet household. In other words, do not be daunted by this list. Just pick one or two of them. I definitely recommend looking backward before moving forward.

• 2020 Reflection Questions. I took some time to sit on these and review this year. Might be fun to share this with those close to you and see what they come up with. If you want to jumpstart some new journaling habits, you can also go here: https://bit.lyKSLDJournalPrompts  
• Adobe My Creative Types. Sure sure, we all like online quizzes, right? But this has some intriguing, out-of-the-box questions. My results were spot-on and I'm using them in conjunction with my Strengths Finder profile to assess how I'm approaching things this year. (PS I'm a "Thinker")
• BP 10 Assessment. This is an undersold tool created by Gallup. Especially if you are launching into a new endeavor or project (or want to assess if it's a good fit to do so), I recommend this tool. I also recommend that you process the results with someone to get the full impact. Talking about it somehow helps...
• A "21 for 21" list.  List twenty-one things you’d like to do by 2022. These items can be easy or ambitious; one-time undertakings or habits that stretch for years; fun or...less fun. I've barely started mine but want to keep building it.
• How to be a less-stressed leader. I just posted this on LinkedIn. Might be good to print out and place next to your desk?
• Low-stress New Year's resolution options. If all of this overwhelm you, here are some easy-peasy, low-impact ways to make some tangible steps. Be gentle with yourself.

Resources. I think because most of my clients have been working from home, there weren't as many distractions this year (little travel, no holiday parties), so I was working with people till December 30! So here are some of the tools I passed along to them this month. Buckle up!

• Talk Less. Listen More. Here's How. Favorite quote: "Listening is a skill. And as with any skill, it degrades if you don’t do it enough. Some people may have stronger natural ability while others may have to work harder, but each of us can become a better listener with practice."
• 100 Tips for a Better Life. I don't know if "better" is the right word -- perhaps "more efficient"? Nevertheless, super intriguing list.
• Better Ways to Manage Up and Out. HBR IdeaCast is a must-listen on my podcast list. This one is a great breakdown of the fuzzy concepts of soft power and how exactly to “manage up.” (PS Here's an earlier post of mine on how to manage up...)
• Use OKRs to Set Goals for Teams, Not Individuals. I thought this article did a good job delineating the management of teams vs individuals, and defining what are true *results*. Could be fodder for onboarding of new managers and/or an ongoing training conversation with experienced managers? 
• 7 Questions to Ask Yourself If You’re Thinking of Making a Career Change During COVID-19. Shhhhh... Quite a few people have reached out for help as they consider a job change. This might feel hard to do as you try to keep up with a demanding job, but a lot of folks are getting a chance to ask themselves, "Do I actually like what I'm doing?" These questions might seem obvious, but I think they guide a productive and fruitful start to your thought process. 
• Multi-Gen Workforce 2021 graphic. Graphics are well... simplistic. But this might be a handy reference for leaders and managers as we lead a very diverse workforce these days of Boomers, Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z. There is a Grand Canyon of differences between these generations in work style, attitudes, etc. I do a lot of "translating" for leaders and employees in my consulting because both parties want to tear their hair out at times. Here is a secret decoder ring :)

Remote Work #WFH. Yep. This is definitely a thing. We are in the wild, wild West of the workplace as we adjust and reorganize due to the pandemic. As many pundits are saying, this is just speeding up the inevitable. Here are few things to leverage as we keep adjusting and learning. To quote Billy Beane in Moneyball, "Adapt or die!"

• 8 Questions Every Manager Should Ask in One-on-One Meetings. Seems basic, but I recommend creating a template and tracking these questions month-to-month. Here's the document as a JPEG: https://bit.ly/1-1MgrQs 
• Where Did the Commute Time Go? Offers several insights, borne out as well by my work with clients, that caught my attention. The article also describes some possible responses to these changes as the pandemic starts to resolve.
• Pomodor app. Much of the conversation around remote work revolves around productivity. I think the question should shift to one of focus, and how to maintain motivation and momentum. This tool (hack?) is simple and practical, but it can be a powerful way to improve your productivity and focus. MANY of my clients are struggling during this pandemic to make deep, focused work happen consistently as they work from home and juggle multiple, daily zooms. This tool can block out distractions and articulate your intentions. It lets you set custom work and break times, track your work by labeling each session, and show or hide the timer in your browser’s menu bar. The app even works offline and syncs your stats across devices. Here is a graphic of how the Pomodoro approach works: https://bit.ly/KSLDPomodoroTool

Point to Ponder.

“If I was to sum up the single biggest problem of senior leadership in the Information Age,” four-star Marine Corps general and former secretary of defense James Mattis has said, “it’s lack of reflection. Solitude allows you to reflect while others are reacting. We need solitude to refocus on prospective decision-making, rather than just reacting to problems as they arise.”

Please feel free to reach out to me with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading!