☔️ February 2024: Fulfilling Work, Giving Feedback, Finding Flow State

Yesterday I met with a client whom I had not met with since late December, so we greeted each other with "Happy New Year!" and then both laughed at the realization that that greeting feels a little goofy now that it is February. But I feel like I blinked and January was somehow over -- how did it speed by so quickly??

Living in Santa Barbara, we are on day 4 of very heavy rains... I am feeling some deep cabin fever, but instead of giving into it, I'll dig out my latest recommendations for you instead. Perhaps part of why January flew by for me is that I had so many enjoyable and substantial conversations with clients and teams. If you fall into either category, consider yourself appreciated! Here are some resources I have used recently...

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🔛 Questions for 1:1 meetings. Some of my clients are slowly revving up for performance reviews, or perhaps just digging themselves out of winter doldrums. Wherever you find yourself, here are some questions from Harvard Business Review:

From “5 Questions Every Manager Needs to Ask Their Direct Reports”

• How would you like to grow within this organization?

• Do you feel a sense of purpose in your job?

• What do you need from me to do your best work?

• What are we currently not doing as a company that you feel we should do?

• Do you have the opportunity to do what you do best every day?

From “It’s Time to Reimagine Employee Retention”

• What motivates you most about the work you do today?

• What are the talents you want to build a reputation for?

• What career possibilities would you like to learn more about?

🥪 Stop serving the compliment sandwich. Coupled with thoughtful feedback during those 1:1's are often some constructive suggestions for improvement. At all costs, avoid the temptation to "put a slice of praise on the top and the bottom, and stick the meat of your criticism in between." This article will give you the tools to provide the "radical candor" needed, but in a manageable and palatable way.

🧰 The Need for Professional Development. OK, so the title embedded in this link is actually, "Most of your employees don’t want to be managers. Here’s how to support what they do want." Apparently studies have shown that only 1 out of 10 employees want to be managers! But here lies the conundrum: "Nevertheless, the statistic reflects the reality that organizations need to consider how to help employees chart a path of longevity that does not necessarily include management. When employees do not want to become managers yet lack a viable alternative, they can be left unsatisfied, reducing employee engagement and retention for the organization." The solution? Investing in the professional development of your employees! Look to the right side of today's post -- I've included a new block of the most requested trainings I can provide to you or your team. Let's get started.

🧘🏽‍♂️ Finding Your Flow State. I sure am seeing a bunch of articles about how to focus, cut down on distractions, go into “monk mode,” schedule times for “deep work,” etc. But do I actually KNOW my best conditions for getting into the zone and cranking out creative, energetic, productive stuff? Do you? Here’s an exercise to help you define how you might get there.

Thank you for reading -- please share it with a friend or co-worker. And reach out at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me with questions or inquiries as to how we can work together. Ciao!

July 2023: Halfway

Somehow we’re already at the halfway point of 2023! I have nothing profound to say about that other than time sure does fly.  

This post builds on that concept figuratively... are you "halfway" through your life? Career? Professional development? These resources might provide some "next steps" for your journey.

I've saved up so many articles, podcasts, and book recommendations that I may post again in a couple of weeks. Stay tuned -- and thanks for reading!

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🧨 Management Training for Those Who Need a Boost. Last month I posted info about a coaching bundle I offer to individual clients and got a good response. That is still available!

That prompts me to make a similar offer this month: If you are feeling a little stalled (or overwhelmed?) in your own leadership and management, I have coached other clients in these competencies. You can access them from me through a “Coaching Bundle” where I offer 6 one-hour sessions to individuals for $500, which means you get one free session 👏🏽 The 6 sessions include:

• The Leader as Coach: How to not just solve the issues that your team brings to you, but instead develop them as self-sustaining leaders.
• How to Have Difficult Conversations: I recently read that managers use up to 40% of their time on managing conflict between people or within processes. In other words, difficult conversations are inevitable -- how can we have them productively?
• Managing Oneself: How to develop yourself professionally and sustainably throughout their career.
• Career Planning: How to coach your direct reports in career advancement and professional development
• Developing Resilience: Resilience is about recovering from setbacks (as opposed to burnout).
• Building Psychological Safety on your Team. How to help your team learn to speak up, participate and advocate for themselves.

If these don't "scratch where you itch" but you feel like you need a boost regardless, set up a complementary 30-min appt with me to talk over what you need.

📝 How to Describe Your Work Experience on Your Resume.  I often work with my #coaching #clients on their #resumes. One of the biggest struggles is figuring out how to describe their #workexperience. Here are some ideas to 🍯 stir the pot. HOT TIP: keep your resume up to date on a regular basis. That way, if an opportunity comes your way, you will be ready to apply.

𝟮𝟴 Questions to Ask Your Boss in Your One-on-Ones. The response of a C-Suite client with many direct reports says it all: "I LOVE this article!!" It is worth its weight in gold, especially if 1:1’s with your manager are lacking a little energy. It also equips you to effectively manage up with your supervisor, which will get their attention over time.

⏳ Is It Too Late to Start Over? I cannot recommend this podcast episode enough! It is as if they recorded several of my coaching conversations with clients who are contemplating a career pivot. Everything advised in this episode is stuff that I have recommended to clients. Take time to listen to this one.

🙋🏽‍♀️ 🧠 Women & Autism. Listened to an excellent #podcast interview of Katherine May, an author who figured out she is #autistic as an adult. I recommend it highly. And as I mentioned last month, don't miss this great article by Temple Grandin in a similar vein, When Great Minds Don't Think Alike. I continue to have conversations with multiple clients about their discoveries in later adulthood of ADHD, Autism, OCD, etc. LOTS to learn here. #neurodiversity #women

📖 From Strength to Strength by Arthur Brooks. I just finished this book and really enjoyed it. In the past few months I have had multiple conversations with people ranging in age from early 40's to late 50's who want and need a change professionally and yet feel somewhat paralyzed as to where and how to start figuring out what might be next. (Go back to that Halfway sign at the top!)  This book captures much of the "why" behind all of those feelings, and gives language to it all. Additionally, here is a podcast interview of the author that was published when the book came out, that might give you a sense of what he expands upon in the book.

Again, MANY thanks for reading. Feel free to forward this to someone you know, and send questions and feedback to me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

July 2022: Time to Course Correct?

As I noted in my May post two months ago, I have spent this "Summer of Slow" recovering from my broken ankle. During the 4th of July weekend I had some extra time to take stock of how I was doing mentally as this process kept unwinding and had to face the fact that I was somewhere between "struggling" and "surviving." I recognized that I need to rally and somehow find the resolve to move into thriving if I was going to recover adequately. Obviously, this is easier said than done, but through a concerted pursuit of journaling, reading, reflecting, talking with trusted friends, and some prayer, I feel the clouds starting to part. 

These resources below are resonant with this pivot -- how can each of us regroup and find new strength and direction in the midst of so many personal and global challenges? I hope you find them encouraging and stimulating.

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Thoughtful description of how life has felt since March 2020. The majority of my client conversations revolve around how much life has changed since the pandemic, both personally and professionally. With those changes, not all of which have been bad, there have been some deep losses. This newsletter post captures some of the sorrow that accompanies those losses, and how to work through your sadness productively so that you can move forward.

Let’s Redefine the Role of Manager. I’m assisting in management training with two different companies, plus 1:1 with some individual clients. I believe this brief podcast captures how much the role of manager has changed due to several factors: the pandemic (obviously), generational changes in how people view work, advances in technology, to name a few. The deeper dive on this question is found in this article, written by the same person interviewed in this podcast: Managers Can’t Do It All. I strongly suggest you review these two resources if you are an executive, so you can get a very clear sense of what your managers are dealing with... and if you're a manager, I hope you'll appreciate how these capture your reality.

Tracking my stress at work actually helped my productivity. I liked this article because it not only proposes an idea, but walks the reader through the steps to apply it. I would be interested to hear if you apply it and find it helpful.

Understanding anxiety —and its surprising upside. Coupled with the article above, this interview helps us to reorient and try to move, as I stated above, from surviving to thriving. (PS I recommend this podcast overall -- the host consistently interviews fascinating people and touches on some truly thought-provoking topics). This article, It’s time to reframe our thoughts around anxiety. Here’s how to use it productively, is a good companion to the podcast in that it interviews the same neuroscientist, so the content gets reinforced and outlined.

The Big Winners and Losers From the Remote Work Revolution. This is a pretty darn interesting discussion and very different from other conversations I’ve listened to on remote work.  The core question they talk about: what is the “job” of the office?

"The average American has only been to 5 of these places, how about you?" This one is purely for fun. Though I am happy to say that I've been to twenty of these places. But then again, I have no idea why these particular sites are on the list.

Thanks for reading -- share it with a friend or co-worker. And please feel free to send questions and feedback to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Onward and upward.

Oct 2021: Hiring, Quitting, and Retention

I am having many conversations with clients across the board as to how many employees they are losing, and how many openings they have. I see it in the headlines and I also see it in real life. We are still figuring out how and why this is happening, but the reasons in this article resonate with many of the conversations I am having with both sides of the equation: employers and employees. 

So rather than post my best resources for the month, I'm sticking with one very good article, and deconstructing it based on the many, many conversations I am having in the past few months. The article is titled, "I spoke to 5,000 people and these are the real reasons they’re quitting," from Fast Company magazine.

Before I begin with my own conclusions: to give you an idea of my sample size, I average 4-6 client calls and presentations each day, Monday through Friday, and speak with about 60 individuals regularly (at least once a month). In September I met with people located in Pasadena, Boise, San Jose, Bangkok, Sarajevo, Chicago, DC suburbs, Santa Barbara, Austin, Glasgow, Wichita, Boston, Detroit, Portland, San Antonio, plus group calls with people distributed throughout Europe, Asia and Africa. SO fascinating!

The Fast Company article starts with this:

There have been reams of information written about employee motivation and performance over the last 100 years. But we’ve found there are nine key factors that impact these metrics—and they are much more important than pay and benefits. I call these nine factors the Currencies of Choice. 

Below I quote each of the nine currencies ("FC"), followed by my reflections ("KSLD"):

☮️ FC: 1. People want to work for a company whose values align with their own. This means a company that has a compelling purpose and values that resonate with the employee’s closely held beliefs. 

KSLD: This is, in part, a generational thing. Younger generations have been asking for the ESG rating of the companies they work for, and look for employers who have it. Do you have an ESG task force in place? Do you even know what "ESG" is? (Here is a great definition). How are you communicating the processes, projects, metrics and values around those standards? Good quote: Today’s workforce not only wants but often demands a role in shaping the organization’s purpose... Social capital has become just as important as human, financial, and physical capital. (Steve Graves). 

My advice: To hang on to newer college graduates, and to engage employees on a deeper level, I strongly suggest you pay attention to ESG.

🤛🏾 FC: 2. People want to work for someone they trust and respect. That person is you, their direct manager. No pressure! The Gallup organization’s research shows that managers can impact employee engagement by up to 70%.

KSLD: In other words, the majority of people do not quit their job per se; they quit their manager (ouch!). Much of my work in the past year have revolved around management training, because in fact, most companies do not have dedicated, comprehensive management training! Ask the managers you know what sort of training they received to be managers. I can bet that most of them will shrug and say they were basically thrown into the deep end of the pool and had to learn through trial and error. I counsel ALL executives to get serious NOW about developing up-to-the-minute, relevant, competency-based management training. Let me know if I can help!

👯‍♀️ FC: 3. People want to work with people they like. That’s hardly surprising since humans are tribal beings at heart. Even the most introverted among us want to belong to a group of people we like working with—especially since we spend such a significant amount of time interacting with our coworkers.

KSLD: I frequently rely on the "Q12" questions employed by Gallup that are designed to optimize employee engagement. They are asked to rate these on a Likert scale. Everyone cringes at statement #10: "I have a best friend at work." I suppose it feels sort of lame and junior high to ask that question, but Gallup says it well: "Human beings are social animals, and work is a social institution. Long-term relationships are often formed at work -- networking relationships, friendships, even marriages." I am finding that younger employees truly count on making friends at work. How does your workplace facilitate that?

🏆 FC: 4. People want to be appreciated in a way that’s appropriate to them. Some studies show that praise and appreciation are the top engagement factors among employees. Appreciation doesn’t have to include a grand gesture. A simple “job well done” or “thank you” can be enough. But it must be authentic, and it must be meaningful to them.

KSLD: "shout-outs" on Slack or Teams threads are all well and good, as well as "Employee of the Month" awards. But my strongest advice to managers is to ask people individually how they prefer to be appreciated. There are many options: gift cards, awards in front of peers, PTO hours, points toward pay increases, etc. Some people like attention and praise, many do not. It's important to pay attention to how people are best motivated.

📣 FC: 5. People want to have a voice. They want to be listened to and heard. They want to know that if they tell you something that’s not working, that it will be fixed—or that you’ll give them a good reason why it can’t be. They also want to be able to share ideas about how to make things better.

KSLD: Not to over-generalize, but this currency may be somewhat generational (like #1). Younger generations are more used to immediate feedback and dialogue. Remember, they are digital natives who have known nothing else other than the immediacy of the internet, social media comments, and text messaging. They do not want to work within the constraints of annual reviews or generic town hall meetings. They prefer minimally hierarchical systems and input into decision-making.

📊 FC: 6. They want to know what they need to do to succeed and how that success will be measured. Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism makes a strong case that having clarity around roles and goals helps teams perform better; it encourages better behavior. 

📊 FC: 7. People want to learn, grow, and develop in their careers. Not everyone wants to climb the corporate ladder, but they do want to develop and grow in some way through training, additional responsibilities, special projects, or simply having variety in their role.

KSLD: I'm combining these two because I feel like they revolve around the same theme. What is crucial is that each organization needs to have a robust "talent lifecycle." Significantly, recent college graduates have lived through not one, but two cataclysmic economic crises. In light of the Great Recession of 2008-2009 and the current pandemic, employees' highest priorities are advancement opportunities and economic stability. These six stages need to be addressed in most companies.

📶 FC: 8. People want to be inspired to go the extra mile. People come to work to add value—we need to let them. Daniel Pink’s book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us makes a compelling case that people will go the extra mile if they have autonomy, mastery, and a sense of purpose in their role (refer to the first Currency of Choice).

KSLD: This is BIG. As FC mentions, this is tied in to the first currency related to alignment of values. In this time of so many unknowns, it really helps if we are given a sense of purpose and the big picture for WHY we are doing what we are doing.

❤️ FC: 9. People want to spend most of their day doing work they love. They want to spend time doing things they’re not only good at but also enjoy doing. 

KSLD: this captures the bulk of what I work on with clients... helping to build a strengths-based culture, where people are set up to succeed and freed up to be self-motivated to do quality work.

 

In summary, here are my suggestions for beating
the Great Resignation of the COVID-19 Pandemic:

1. ESG!
2. Commit to solid management training
3. Pay attention to trust-building and culture creation
4. Provide genuine affirmation and appreciation
5. Cultivate consistent dialogue and feedback loops
6. Deepen your talent lifecycle
7. (Ditto!)
8. Cast a compelling vision
9. Establish a strengths-based performance approach

✪ BONUS content: I have mentioned that some of these dynamics are generational. I thought this article did a good job succinctly describing them: This is how each generation is feeling about returning to the office.

Let me know if you need ideas or more resources. Reach out to me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading.

Coaching Conversations, July 2021: How to Keep Your Employees Engaged

First of all, an update: I floated a new series of posts here last month that I titled "The WAIT List," using the acronym "WAIT" to stand for "What Am I Talking" about with clients. The content appears to have been well-received... but the title? Not so much. So I'm going for the most basic, but perhaps most descriptive, title. So here's my next "Coaching Conversation." Thanks for reading.

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In light of this summer becoming titled "The Great Resignation" by many, I met with two different
groups of managers this past week to talk about some of the many challenges they are encountering as their employees start returning to the office. The list is long: 

• 
  employers are experiencing remarkable levels of turnover;
• many workers resent the return to commuting;
• some feel they have not had any margin between persevering through the pandemic and now facing the return to the office;
• a lot of parents are not finding reliable childcare;
• there are several expressing a desire to continue to work remotely - as one manager described it, while working remotely even one day a week was not an option for most at the end of 2019, many employees in 2021 now cannot believe they are "only" being allowed two days a week to work from home; 
• let's be honest -- some people just want a change.

As managers and leaders, how can we make the return a healthy and positive one? It will require all of us to adjust some of our approaches to leadership. The workplace in 2021 is changing rapidly, and we need to remain agile in order to stay ahead of it all.

Harvard Business Review recently published a very good article titled "The Real Value of Middle Managers." I heartily recommend it. This quote really stayed with me:

Especially as remote and hybrid work takes over — and the distance between employees increases — middle managers are more important than ever... It is time to reunite leadership and management in one concept, and recognize middle managers as CONNECTING LEADERS. (emphasis mine)

I appreciate how the author seeks to reunite the concepts of "manager" and "leader" into one concept, but I want to emphasize what I focused on with the two teams of managers I met with last week: middle managers will need to double-down on relational investment as we move forward. 

Every workplace newsletter and blog and podcast is stating some variation of this reality: employers and managers cannot just focus on project management and operations. Given the incredible tumult of these past eighteen months, and the vulnerability we experienced with one another on a variety of levels, leaders are going to be relied upon to provide coaching, cultivate emotional intelligence, and even offer psychological support at times.

I know, I know... perhaps this is not what you signed up for. But the workplace plays a significant role in most people's lives. Research has shown that employees who feel connected to their organization work harder, stay longer, and motivate others to do the same. People want purpose and meaning from their work. They want to be known for what makes them unique. This is what drives employee engagement. And they want relationships, particularly with a manager who can coach them to the next level: this is who drives employee engagement.

So if you want your employees to remain committed, and not just survive, but thrive, employers will need to devote consistent effort on a few key things:

• FEEDBACK. Employees will stay if they know they will be recognized for their contributions.
• PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT. Team members will be energized if they see opportunities for professional growth and career development.
• TRANSPARENCY. Colleagues will band together if they understand when organizational change happens and why.
  
  

On top of all of your other responsibilities, how do you find the time to do this?? Great question. I recommend these 4 steps:

1. Commit to monthly meetings for your team that are dedicated to professional development.
2. Embed that time in your schedule: First Fridays? Last Thursdays?
3. Try to build some fun around that: include coffee and donuts, or a unique location where you will be uninterrupted and able to collaborate in a creative way.
4. The KEY: make a plan NOW for the coming year!

Professional development can and should come in a variety of forms: special speakers, webinars, articles, podcasts, book clubs, mentor programs, coaching, case studies, off sites...

Last but not least... I believe this plan is most effective if it is also paired with monthly 1:1’s with each team member. This is where you can customize the approach and focus on unique needs and issues. Transactional leadership simply does not work anymore. We have to be committed to building trust over time, and setting up our employees for success.

I have a TON of resources, so feel free to reach out to me if this feels overwhelming. I can't emphasize this enough: Set the schedule and make sure you prepare adequately. Carve out time each month to prepare, and bring variety to your training strategies. And let me know if I can help! Email me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.

October 2020: Future Focus

This month's post is focusing on the (near) future. I am finding, both personally and with clients, that the pandemic has offered time to think and reflect, whether we want to or not. These links reflect some of the conversations I've been having as we shift from a sprint to a marathon.

✅ Americans might never come back to the office, and Twitter is leading the charge.  Keep the subtitle in mind, because it's telling: "Twitter’s plans for work from home indefinitely have prompted a wave of copycats. But its transformation has been two years in the making — and the rest of America can learn some lessons." I recently presented a webinar on Managing Remote Teams, and during the final discussion, someone acknowledged that she had been doing her regular job, just making some tweaks to get things done remotely. What she now realizes is that she needs to craft an entirely new approach, and not just make things work. Can you relate??

🎇 How to Reimagine the Second Half of Your Career. Furloughs, loss of workplace, economic stress, time to think, you name it... all of these dynamics are prompting many people in my universe to consider changes in work. This article could get the conversation started. 

📌 Growing Interest in Alternative Credentials. I've seen this trend coming for quite awhile. I've talked with higher ed institutions and while they are open to it, the pace of innovation in academia is GLACIAL. We may see the tech sector be the one that really pushes this forward. Google and Amazon are already offering options to their employees in this space. Listen and learn: we'll be hearing much more about certificates and badges in the future!

😳 Four COVID Impacts. Everyone and their brother is prognosticating these days about where we are headed, but I think this one has some calm, helpful insights for next steps. This statement stays with me: "The pandemic is a once in a lifetime opportunity to reset things that aren’t working or to try out new things."  I also found this article super interesting: It's Getting Better AND Worse, from Bloomberg News.

🥳 Need a Break? Here are three very fun, mindless diversions to give you a mental health break...

• The Amazing Fact Generator. Keep this one open for that random piece of trivia that you can drop on somebody on a moment's notice.
• WFH Zoom Fail. There are far too many of these available online, but this is a good one.
• The 2020 Marist Mindset List. These lists have been compiled since 1998, originally by Beloit College, serving as fascinating "cultural compasses." This year's entry opens with this: "They were born in the aftermath of 9/11 and have entered college during the COVID-19 pandemic. For this year’s incoming group of first-year college students, going to college might even require staying home for remote classes; some may simply be taking a gap year."

Current Favorites.

• Podcast. The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green. Equal parts nerdy and fascinating.
• Streaming. World's Toughest Race: Eco-Challenge Fiji on Amazon Prime. The backstories on the competitors Make. Me. Cry. Every. Time. I also can't wait to watch the final season of Schitt's Creek.
• Reading. Amazon Monthly Kindle E-Book Sale. True confession: I am hopelessly addicted to this treasure hunt of goodies. Is that so bad?!
• Documentary.  John Lewis: Good Trouble. Do not miss this. Utterly humbling, inspiring and motivating.

KS Leadership Development Updates. Nothing earth-shattering here, but I want to point out two resources that are available to you:

1. COVID-19 Resources. I have been trying to take in as much as I can in terms of ALL aspects of the pandemic. I maintain the column on the right side of this blog on a regular basis with resources that address a variety of the things impacted by all of this. Feel free to send other recommendations.
2. KSLD Resources Drive. I upload many of the tools here that I use with clients. Hopefully they will "stir the pot" for you if you need some ideas for leadership development, team-building, professional development, etc.  

Thanks for reading... feel free to send feedback and questions to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. And forward this to a friend.

Adapting Your Leadership, Asking for Help, and Antidotes for Stress: January 2020

I don't know about you, but having Christmas and New Year's Day on Wednesdays has been a bit disorienting. Work-wise, I've had things to do on both preceding Mondays, so I had to sort of rev up for a work week, and then (happily) key down for the holidays... and then find that I had work to do on Thursday and Friday! Sheesh.

Oh well. #FirstWorldProblems, right? Overall, I will freely admit that I still had some great time to read and reflect during my time off ~ I'm hoping you did as well. The resources I'm sharing this month emerge from that time. I think you will find them helpful and thought-provoking.

Are You Adapting Your Leadership Strategy as Your Startup Grows? In this fruitful and creative era of start-ups, I am encountering a few clients who are facing some real challenges as they shift from being organic to becoming an organization. As this article describes it, "a chief revenue officer who successfully helps the company win an initial group of customers might not have the right skills to actually run a scaled-up organization." This article from Harvard Business Review asks many of the exact questions I am working on with clients who may be five or even ten years into building their company and discovering some new issues as they scale up that they have never faced before. The key issues tend to revolve around the ever-shifting demands placed on the leadership team. I believe this article at least gets the conversation started.

The Art of Asking for (and Getting) Help. A recent discovery of mine has been an interesting podcast titled The Anxious Achiever. Let's be honest... the title isn't super enticing. But stay with me. This particular episode does an excellent job of describing a dilemma I often experience with clients -- as the podcast guest states, in our personal lives we might easily ask for help, whether it’s childcare, errands or emergencies. But at work we fear looking incompetent or weak. Yet asking for help actually fosters reciprocity and teamwork. But how do we navigate that? I recommend this episode because it gives real-life solutions and helpful options.

Is There An Antidote To Stress? The opening to this podcast says it all: "We’re up against a chronic epidemic: stress. In fact, it’s estimated that 80% or more of doctors’ visits are due to illnesses related to stress." YIKES. But if you are at all like me, you might find it even more stressful to hear people talk about managing their stress! That is why I recommend this particular podcast episode. It is an outstanding, engaging, honest discussion on how to manage stress, but it unfolds as a relaxed, motivating conversation with many practical, simple ideas. I listened to it while I was making dinner and it had my attention the entire time. Please check it out.

As you gear up for 2020: One More Thing...
I was committed to spending some time during my break to really think through how I wanted to plan for the new year. But in that process, I realized that before I could move forward that I needed to look backward and spend some time figuring out where were all the places in my life that needed some purging, minimizing or decluttering....

Maybe I didn't always ask myself what sparked joy in my life, but I tried to be super honest with myself as to what I actually needed. During this process (which has not finished yet) I learned two things:

1. I needed to start by making a list of all the places in my life where there was clutter of some sort, before I manically tried to just get started;
2. I needed to give myself permission to not try to get everything done in a day (or even a weekend!)

Everyone has their own spots where things tend to pile up, but a couple of websites (and let me tell you there are a few thousand of them dedicated to this subject) got me thinking, and these were some of the areas that I have either started to or successfully purged:

• Kitchen junk drawer (EVERYONE has one!!)
• Bedside table drawer (so. much. useless. stuff)
• Bookshelves (7 bags of books were pulled and I feel like I barely made a dent)
• Underwear and sock drawer (there, I said it!)
• Technology stuff (cords, old phones, adapters, blah blah blah)
• Bathroom drawers (can we say, "old make-up from the 90's"?)
• Bedroom closets (this is my last and most daunting area)

So this is my word to the wise: before you get ambitious and grandiose about the journey ahead for 2020, take the time to shed the dead weight. It has been a surprisingly motivating process.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up. (Anne Lamott)

Let me know what you think of this month's resources. Go to my resource drive at bit.ly/KSLDresources for even more, or send me an email at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading!

My Christmas Gifts to You: December 2019

James Taylor's Christmas album is playing in the background as I write this... though I will admit I'm also wearing shorts and the sun is out here in Santa Barbara. I find it a little surprising that 2019 is coming to a close and that we are about to step into 2020, which sounds meaningful somehow.

Looking back, this has been a full year of literal travel (Chicago, Boise, Orlando, Dallas, San Diego, Malibu, Pasadena, Azusa, San Jose for work; Yosemite, Seattle, Maine and Alabama for fun) and a great deal of virtual travel with clients as well, to Washington DC, Seattle, Boise, Chicago, Sarajevo, Manila and Bangkok. I frequently tell people that I never could've imagined I would be doing what I am doing right now, and I am so grateful for the opportunities that have opened up to me.

In writing my last post on this blog for 2019, I thought it would be helpful to highlight some of the resources I always have available on my Google Drive, KSLD resources. Feel free to shop around there to your heart's content. Below I will list some of the goodies I have used the most with clients this year.

7 Steps To Creating The Best Personal Task Management System With Trello. I would venture to say that the top two questions that clients have the most for me relate to either conflict resolution or project management. Especially for someone relatively new to project management, I recommend they start with the Trello tool. This article is a great intro that walks you through it step-by-step.

The Future of Leadership Development: A Global Mindset. Thanks to technology and globalization, many companies find it almost common place to work on a daily basis with employees who are distributed around the world. Two of my clients have me doing leadership development work with their staff in Thailand, Bosnia, Philippines and Peru. This article is a good baseline to start from. Another super valuable tool is the book titled The Culture Map by Erin Meyer. I cannot recommend it enough and use it regularly with these clients and others.

Share your Signature Themes Report with Someone Close to You. Ten years ago I started using Strengths Finders with churches and with student interns and it ended up opening the door to so much more of the work I do now. I gave multiple presentations in the last two weeks to a variety of clients, from higher education to accounting to manufacturing, and never fail to be surprised by what sort of conversations it is able to spark, regardless of context. This particular document is especially helpful in getting someone to go deeper into the results of the Strengths Finder assessment, especially if they've got some doubts about their report. This document creates some wonderful conversation.

What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It). If I only have five seconds to explain to someone what I am doing right now, I simply tell them that I help companies cultivate soft skills with their employees. This article does a good job explaining why that is necessary. I never could've imagined that 35 years of working with people in my past roles would have led me to this point, but it has been so valuable to be so comfortable in meeting people where they are and helping them figure out what they need to move forward both personally and professionally.

Healthy vs Unhealthy Boundaries. I talk a great deal with people about what it takes to maintain healthy work/life balance, but more and more I am finding that for many people, work IS life. And the struggles they have in their home lives are the same ones they are experiencing at work. Frequently the issue of healthy boundaries comes up and this is a great resource. In addition, I recommend this one on healthy/unhealthy relationships.

14 questions to ask an underperforming employee during a one-on-one meeting. Last week I participated in a great training session with academic leaders who are trying to figure out how to best manage their teams. One of the most difficult aspects of leadership is addressing problems with performance in a way that is not discouraging, but is also clear and effective. I think this is a surprisingly useful article.

An extra: I recommend this for MUST-SEE TV. Last week I was utterly gripped by this documentary titled College Behind Bars, produced by Ken Burns and one of his favorite colleagues, Lynn Novick. Set aside four hours this month to watch this. It is a remarkable story of restoration and redemption, with tons of challenges and heartache along the way. I could not stop watching this.

Final thoughts... as you gather around tables with friends and family this month, I was moved by the challenge to ask this question:

At family dinner, don't just ask kids how the test went and whether their team won. Ask them who they helped—and who helped them. (Adam Grant)

Thanks for reading... feel free to pass this along to someone else, and please do contact me with feedback and questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. See you in 2020!

Quality over Quantity, Dec 2018

Like you I am sure, I have my hands full as year-end approaches. But in the midst of many to-do lists, I still manage to squeeze in some podcasts, articles, and a book or two. Here are my top recommendations for this month that will hopefully serve as reminders of what it takes to pursue depth and integrity over time. Chip away at them - they will be worth it.

6 Fundamental Skills Every Leader Should Practice. Ironic that a written article about developing leadership should say, "Our research and experience have shown us that the best way to develop proficiency in leadership is not just through reading books and going to training courses, but even more through real experience and continual practice." Guess I'll stop reading your article now and get to work!

Nonetheless, as always, HBR comes through with this one and this proves to be a good article for mentoring and developing leaders. Their six fundamental skills listed here are fail-safe. Set aside six months to look at each skill one-by-one with your rising leaders, assigning experiments to test-drive and develop the skills.

Favorite insight: "they found that workers were able to improve their own performance by 20% after spending 15 minutes at the end of each day writing reflections on what they did well, what they did wrong, and their lessons learned." We live in a non-stop world that does not encourage slowing down or reflection. You would do well to cultivate this practice in yourself and others.

The Urgency of Slowing Down. I just listened to this today on a long walk, though it was a rebroadcast from June 2015. Use this podcast as a way to mitigate against the stressful "have-to's" barking at you, and step back to be still and listen. 

The ‘Holy Grail’ of Class Discussion. As I get ready to teach a class again this next semester, I found this article a much-needed reminder. I especially loved this:

But in those discussions, are your students actually talking to one another? Or does it work the way it often works in my class: The instructor asks a question, and students direct all of their answers right back to the instructor. Getting students to interact with one another, instead of responding individually to the instructor, might be the holy grail of small-class discussion.

I think the same thing could be said of weekly staff meetings, dontcha think? I'm not really kidding. Regardless of where you are gathering people for discussion, I found some questions in this article that focused my preparation in helpful ways. Tell me what YOU think!

How to be More Productive. I would say my top two most talked-about topics with clients are 1) How do I deal with my annoying co-worker and 2) How can I get more organized? With that second woe in mind, I give you this article. Though it has been said in multiple ways, it really is true that the important things need to get done more than the urgent things. This article gives some practical ways to approach that tension.

Favorite quotes. This month's nuggets come from Albert Einstein, and need no explanation. Happy December!

“If I had an hour to solve a problem, I’d spend fifty-five minutes thinking about the problem and five minutes thinking about solutions.” 

He also reportedly said, “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

35 Things to Do for Your Career by 35

In the past two weeks I've landed on a new resource that I'm finding helpful in my leadership development work: The Muse. As Fast Company magazine states, "The Muse has become the definitive career resource for the under-35 set (60% of its more than 5 million monthly users are between 18 and 35) by focusing on work culture and hiring in a digital age."

They posted an article recently that definitely got my mind working as I scanned over their list of 35 Things to Do for Your Career by 35. Some of them are a bit much (#2. "Know Your Superpower" *eyeroll*) and feel like they were added to puff up the list. But many of them are rock-solid and I'd endorse them heartily.

Here are my Top 7 from the list:

• 4. Learn How to Delegate. One of the many things I work through with new managers is to understand that their job focus is shifting from tasks to people. Many new managers just try to work harder than everyone on their team and think they drag them along in their wake. Instead, they need to manage others in doing all the tasks by delegating efficiently and consistently.
• 6. Do Something You’re Really, Really Proud Of. As the articles describes it, "Whether or not it’s something you’ll be known for forever, something you get paid for doing, or even something you really want to do with your life, make sure you have something on your resume that, deep down, you’re really proud of." I'm thankful for several things I've gotten to do over my life, and have seen some have deep impact. For example, back in 1999, I listened to two students who wanted our youth group to start getting involved with the local Rescue Mission. We pulled it together, and after many stops and starts, learned how to build significant connection with folks living on the streets. Not only is this involvement still happening, but I was able to get another entire school involved after learning how to best do it. I think there has been great mutual benefit (certainly the students learned A TON) from this relationship-building and service.
• 9. Do Something That Really Scares You. Too often we live within self-imposed limits that really deprive us of deep lessons to be learned. For me, at age 31 I stepped away from very familiar ground with students who looked like me and waded into the lives of gang members. I got completely schooled! But it took me on a trajectory I'm still riding, and am so thankful for it.
• 10. Get Comfortable With Getting Feedback. Definitely not easy!! We all prefer pats on the back. But real feedback always makes me better. I just need to grow up and realize I will never be perfect.
• 20. Know How to Manage Up. This is something I always work on with clients. The article sums it up well: "In fact, being able to manage up—or, communicate with your boss and advocate for what you need to do your job best—is a crucial job skill." I could spend a separate blog post on this one, and may just have to at some point. We all need to learn how to speak up for how we are being assessed and led. But it's a fine art that requires thoughtful and strategic effort.
• 23. Find a To-Do List System That Works for You. All I can say here is YES!!!!! I probably work on this more consistently with clients than anything else. It requires ongoing attention almost every day, but it is SO worth it. It also leads to my last favorite on this list...
• 26. Know How to Manage Stress. I didn't start thinking about this until 6 years after I graduated from college, when I basically crashed from overwork and burnout. Stress management is absolutely crucial to living a meaningful and sustainable life. And everyone does it differently. I love helping people figure this one out.

For those north of 35 years old, which ones are your favorites? For everyone in the thick of building your 35, which ones are kicking your butt? Where do you need help?

Update on Podcasts Post No. 4: Astronauts Are Awesome!

Last week I wrote about an excellent podcast I'd recently listened to on how to built trust on teams. And they profiled space programs as exemplars of this approach.

I'm happy to report that a client reached out to me after reading my post and listening to the podcast. See his brief comments below... and see his example as an invitation from me to do the same. I would LOVE to give profile to your experiences with anything I talk about here. Thanks for reading and collaborating! See his feedback below.

Okay, this podcast was AWESOME!  I’ve always been fascinated by space, so listening to any podcast where astronauts share their experiences is a lot of fun.
And trust is something near and dear to my heart as well.  Combine the two and it’s a perfect podcast.

Over the years, I’ve experienced great team building activities and horrible team building.  I think this podcast nailed it on the head.  When leaders or team members are vulnerable first, it is a catalyst to build trust. 

My philosophy has always been to combine team building exercises into fun, crazy group activities along with time of sharing from the heart. 

I’ve forwarded this podcast on to my key team leads and challenged them to think of how we can improve building trust among our teams.  I’ll follow up with them later this month to see what ideas they come up with.  Should be interesting to hear from them - they bring a wide span of gifts to their leadership.  I love my job! Thanks for sharing.

Again, feel free to let me know your thoughts on the resources I share here. You don't have to work alone.

I'll end with my favorite quote from this week ~ it was shared at a roundtable I participated in earlier this week. Cheers!

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” 

― R. Buckminster Fuller