☔️ February 2024: Fulfilling Work, Giving Feedback, Finding Flow State

Yesterday I met with a client whom I had not met with since late December, so we greeted each other with "Happy New Year!" and then both laughed at the realization that that greeting feels a little goofy now that it is February. But I feel like I blinked and January was somehow over -- how did it speed by so quickly??

Living in Santa Barbara, we are on day 4 of very heavy rains... I am feeling some deep cabin fever, but instead of giving into it, I'll dig out my latest recommendations for you instead. Perhaps part of why January flew by for me is that I had so many enjoyable and substantial conversations with clients and teams. If you fall into either category, consider yourself appreciated! Here are some resources I have used recently...

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

🔛 Questions for 1:1 meetings. Some of my clients are slowly revving up for performance reviews, or perhaps just digging themselves out of winter doldrums. Wherever you find yourself, here are some questions from Harvard Business Review:

From “5 Questions Every Manager Needs to Ask Their Direct Reports”

• How would you like to grow within this organization?

• Do you feel a sense of purpose in your job?

• What do you need from me to do your best work?

• What are we currently not doing as a company that you feel we should do?

• Do you have the opportunity to do what you do best every day?

From “It’s Time to Reimagine Employee Retention”

• What motivates you most about the work you do today?

• What are the talents you want to build a reputation for?

• What career possibilities would you like to learn more about?

🥪 Stop serving the compliment sandwich. Coupled with thoughtful feedback during those 1:1's are often some constructive suggestions for improvement. At all costs, avoid the temptation to "put a slice of praise on the top and the bottom, and stick the meat of your criticism in between." This article will give you the tools to provide the "radical candor" needed, but in a manageable and palatable way.

🧰 The Need for Professional Development. OK, so the title embedded in this link is actually, "Most of your employees don’t want to be managers. Here’s how to support what they do want." Apparently studies have shown that only 1 out of 10 employees want to be managers! But here lies the conundrum: "Nevertheless, the statistic reflects the reality that organizations need to consider how to help employees chart a path of longevity that does not necessarily include management. When employees do not want to become managers yet lack a viable alternative, they can be left unsatisfied, reducing employee engagement and retention for the organization." The solution? Investing in the professional development of your employees! Look to the right side of today's post -- I've included a new block of the most requested trainings I can provide to you or your team. Let's get started.

🧘🏽‍♂️ Finding Your Flow State. I sure am seeing a bunch of articles about how to focus, cut down on distractions, go into “monk mode,” schedule times for “deep work,” etc. But do I actually KNOW my best conditions for getting into the zone and cranking out creative, energetic, productive stuff? Do you? Here’s an exercise to help you define how you might get there.

Thank you for reading -- please share it with a friend or co-worker. And reach out at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me with questions or inquiries as to how we can work together. Ciao!

🎄 December 2023: Time Management, Teams, Toolkits and More

I am hearing from many clients that they are scrambling as they juggle quarter-end, year-end, project-end deadlines, also hoping they can somehow get it all done so they can have a true break during the holidays. May some of these resources help you reach the finish line!

🎄 * ❄️ * 🕎 * 🎅🏽 * ☮️ * 🎁 * 🦌

🕰️ Time management: A guide to more sanity and less anxiety. This is an interview of my FAVORITE resource regarding time management, Oliver Burkeman. When I posted this on LinkedIn, a client commented, "I started listening to this podcast expecting time management techniques and realized it’s all about mindset. 🤯 i need to listen to this one again." I've recommended Burkeman's book here more than once. Give yourself this book for the holidays.

⛑️ A Refresher on Psychological Safety. At minimum, include this video in your management training; additionally, maybe even watch it with your team and discuss it? It's only 7.5 minutes long but also packed with useful insights.

🌍 🗣️ Getting Feedback Right on Diverse Teams. An excellent half-hour interview with Erin Meyer, the author of the Culture Map, my go-to resource for optimizing global, intercultural communication. A longer, more in-depth article was provided in the Sept-Oct 2023 issue of Harvard Business Review.

🧠 Mental Health Toolkit: Tools to Bolster Your Mood & Mental Health. I go in and out of listening to this podcast, but landed on this episode, and found it to be a great collection of things I wanted to be reminded of as I take some time to think about how this year has gone and how I want to step into 2024, especially in terms of mental health, well-being, and stress management. It is two hours long but I do recommend you take the time to listen to it.

🪫 Energy Audit (Introvert vs Extrovert). Here's a simple (and science-based) worksheet on recognizing draining situations in your daily life and developing strategies to avoid consecutive energy-sapping scenarios that can lead to #overwhelm and #burnout. 

🎸 What we learned from our parents' record collections. The title alone got my memories flowing... Simon & Garfunkel, Carole King, Barbra Streisand, the Beatles, the Band were all on repeat (on vinyl, of course) in my elementary school years. This podcast also recounts some delightful stories as well. Enjoy.

🤣 Team-Building Question for the Month. Throw this on to your Teams, Slack, Google Hangout, iMessage thread and have a good laugh.

"What was the best holiday gift you ever received?"

Mine was an Easy-Bake oven when I was 7 years old...🧁 🥰 

May your December bring some peace, joy, rest, and good memories. Thanks for reading -- feel free to share this with friends and co-workers. Cheers!

September 2023: Boggled, Building, BP10, More Building..

Normally the month of August is a quiet one with coaching clients because people jam in some last-minute vacations, but for whatever reason(s), this one was packed! Below are just a sampling of the many resources I used this past month. Goodbye to summer, hello to fall!

😵‍💫 Boggled by AI? Join the club! I recommend following this blog regularly. This particular post gives you an overview of the AI landscape. Definitely worth it. 

🗣️ Building a Culture Where Employees Feel Free to Speak Up. I recently trained a group of #managers in how to cultivate #psychologicalsafety on their teams. The presentation included basic concepts, case studies, breakout discussions and recognition that this is a key part of the manager's job, whether they signed up for it or not! This link provides a good article from #hbr on getting started on building this sort of space for your team.

🆕 BP10: do you want to start something new? I am currently coaching 10 individuals in career discernment - more than I ever have at the same time. That tells me something. Many tell me they are restless, or searching for something new/ meaningful / energizing... others feel stuck, while some feel daunted at the possibility of doing the same thing they are doing now for 20-25 more years. Last but not least, some feel the itch to take a risk. If you have an idea or a sense that you want to launch out on your own, I believe this assessment from Gallup is the best tool to start with. (PS I do not work for Gallup!!) I just retook BP10 after first taking it in 2019, and it gave me some new insights to my goal-setting for this fall into 2024. There are some amazing tools that come with it, plus some helpful podcasts, and it syncs well with StrengthsFinder. Email me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me if you'd like to work on it together!

❓Team-Building Question for the Month. I coach the overwhelming majority of my clients virtually, and in turn they work virtually with their teams. I strongly suggest using creative ice-breaker questions on a consistent basis to help create a warmer, fun, collegial, maybe even mildly vulnerable work vibe. One team I work with calls this exercise "Thursday Thoughts" on their Teams thread and they have agreed to respond within 24 hours once the question is posted. Here is a question for the month:

“What song best describes your life right now?” 

A related one: “What song sounds like the motto of your life?”

What are my responses? (Glad you asked!): 

Closer to Fine by the Indigo Girls (admittedly, it’s back in my mental playlist thanks to the Barbie movie!)

Life motto song: Shed a Little Light by James Taylor

⛑️ Building Wellbeing in the Workplace. This is a one-hour dive into #wellbeing in the #workplace, but truly worth the time. The conversation breaks down the realities of #burnout and how it is an *occupational* condition most impacted by the way we each interact with our workload, co-workers, and company values. It's a discussion between top-drawer researchers but they use non-technical, everyday language. I found it incredibly insightful. A brief article in a similar vein from Psychology Today website can be found here.

🥵 How to Handle Feeling Overworked. I'm leading a professional development discussion on this #podcast next week. The title describes it well. If the fall is a "new year" for you and you're feeling #overwhelmed and/or #overworked, take 40 minutes to listen to it. Calmly and clearly, #MurielWilkins coaches a #client through the steps to address those feelings with real and practical value.

And if you are so overworked you can't even handle taking that on, just put this song on repeat 😉 The song of my senior year...

🎧 Recommended podcasts (for fun!). OK, admittedly, I personally find these podcasts a relaxing way to unwind from a full day -- hope you do too. They also give you a peek into my "diverse" tastes:

• Broken Record. INCREDIBLE conversations with musicians on how and why they make their music. The recent one with Paul Simon left me speechless. 
• Strike Force Five. Conversations between late-night talk show hosts Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers & John Oliver that they are doing to help pay their staffs during the WGA/SAG strikes. Stupid fun.
• Sidedoor. From the ridiculous to the... super nerdy. Here's the description: "More than 157 million treasures fill the Smithsonian’s vaults, but where public view ends, Sidedoor begins. With the help of biologists, artists, historians, archaeologists, zookeepers, and astrophysicists, host Lizzie Peabody sneaks listeners through Smithsonian’s side door to search for stories that can’t be found anywhere else." Dork Heaven.

All for now. Please reach out with questions and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. And share this with a friend or coworker!

June 2022: Summer Suggestions

If you read my previous post, you know that I have a little more time in my schedule these days to read and reflect (at least theoretically!). So just two weeks later, I already have a bundle of recommendations for you. 

Since the pandemic began, my clients have needed a steady stream of resources related to stress management and the many ways that COVID and world events have turned our worlds upside down. Despite the ongoing stream of bad news that seems to bubble up every other day, I do have a list of links that pertain primarily to a favorite topic of mine: #leadershipdevelopment. Please let me know if you find any of these useful!

⏱ How to Help an Employee Who Struggles with Time Management. This is very good - a much more holistic approach that doesn’t reduce the problem to just finding a new #productivity app. I especially like the way it challenges the manager to recognize how much their own communication and delegation matters. 

⏳ Best Time-Saving Google Assistant Tricks. I have a significant number of clients who are neurodivergent, meaning that they are on the autism spectrum, ADHD, dyslexia or a few other neurological diagnoses. Sometimes, these folks struggle with staying on task or losing track of time. I have shared this link with several of them and they have told me it has been helpful. Note that these tricks are also useful if you are someone who often engages in deep work or really gets into flow, yet still needs to keep track of commitments at times. Last but not least, here's a useful link on time blindness, which is something often experienced by those with ADHD. Even if you do not struggle with this, you might manage someone who does and it could be a great opportunity to dialogue about how to work within the constraints created by that.

🤷🏽‍♀️ Best Practices for Hiring Gen Z. Given the roller coaster ride we are currently on, I cannot tell if we are still in the Great Resignation or a recession or what!? Nevertheless, talent managers and leaders are experiencing new challenges almost daily as they try to figure out how to recruit new hires, manage expectations around remote and hybrid work, and retain valuable employees. I thought this article did a good job describing what it's like to recruit and hire new graduates. We really do need to become students of who they are and what they want, because they bring some very new expectations to the workplace.

⁉️ Creative Questions. These could be used in a variety of contexts. For example, I am often asked by clients for help with coming up with creative questions to open meetings that are fun but also build trust and connection on teams, but they are useful in job interviews too. And honestly, they would be fun around the dinner table with friends too! 

• Best job interview question of all time.
• The Best Question to Ask a Job Applicant (extended article of the first one).
• 15 Questions for Team-Building. This is a new list I've compiled. 
• The kitchen sink. Here are all of my lists, past and present. Go crazy.

🗣 Ask a Manager. Where has THIS been all my life? You can also follow them on Twitter. I also recommend "Ask a Boss." Obviously, I recommend proactive professional development for managers and leaders and not reactive "hair-on-fire" crisis management, but this could be a good site to bookmark as a reliable reference for problems in a pinch.

Final Thoughts. As I s-l-o-w-l-y recover from my broken ankle, I am doing as best I can to live day by day and cultivate patience. In recent reading, I came across this quote from Simone Weil, a 20th century French philosopher and mystic:

We do not obtain the most precious gifts by going in search of them but by waiting for them.

May we each do our best to patiently persist through the highs and lows of these days. Thanks for reading. Please reach out with questions or feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.  

January 2022: How Did I Get Here?

I traditionally take this week between Christmas and New Year's to get some "balcony time" to reflect on the past year and prepare for the new one. As one website states, "So many things call for our attention at work every day that we can get completely caught up in the day-to-day business of business—what’s happening on the 'dance floor.' Getting up in the balcony allows leaders to gain perspective and shape vision."

As you can imagine, this time in the balcony was especially... a lot to process. I used some directed questions (see below) to get me started, and I let myself really remember how completely bat*$(# crazy this year was. Which is saying something because 2020 was certainly no joke either! I won't cycle through the summary of this year's headlines that will loop on repeat in the next couple of days on every news outlet, but WOW. The lyrics to Once in a Lifetime by the Talking Heads keep rattling around in my head... (Especially "And you may ask yourself, 'Well... how did I get here?'")

In the midst of it all, my work with clients has plowed ahead. I am still digging in with several clients in terms of #leadershipdevelopment -- creating new manager training competencies, constructing more efficient and relevant onboarding processes, shaping better employee engagement activities, to name a few. But on top of that, I am kept very busy by providing workshops and conversations on #stressmanagement, #resilience, and overall #wellbeing. And recently I have had some truly powerful discussions around #neurodiversity. I am learning so, so much. 

To indicate the interest I am discovering around these concerns around #wellbeing: I post about once a week on LinkedIn, and I average from 15 to maybe 300 views... but two weeks ago I posted an article titled "Feeling constantly stressed? Blame your 'threat brain'" and it got 3,817 views! Alrighty then.

So here is what I am reading and using with clients. Please do let me know what connects for you.

🎼 🎧 Science-Backed Productivity Playlists to Help You Dive Deeper Into Work.  Personally, I need something in the background to help me focus when I need to put my head down and laser in on one thing. Here are some playlists that might be helpful to you if you like to do that as well? 

😵 Staying Sane at Work. This is a podcast interview with Dr. Laurie Santos, who leads the most popular course on Coursera, which I have taken and recommended here, The Science of Well-Being (I still REALLY recommend it). This interview appears on the "Ten Percent Happier" podcast, which is a tremendous resource for those looking for creative, helpful methods of #self-care.

📆 End of Year 2021 Self-Reflection Questions. These are the ones referenced in the first paragraph above. Listen to the podcast given in the link, or scroll down and just use the 10 questions given. Questions 1, 2, 6 and 8 were the most productive for me. How about you?

✍🏾 Feeling Anxious? Journaling Might Help. Following up from my post in November on the value of journaling: Here is a quote from this month's article that sums up why I journal every day: "When people use writing to express themselves, Dr. Wright said, they 'increase emotional regulation, clarify life goals, find meaning, and give voice to feelings, which can help construct a meaningful story.' She added that looking back through old journal entries can remind the writer of the times she struggled but persevered."

✅ 22 for 22. Call them resolutions, call them goals, call them a bucket list... but I appreciate setting my sights on some things to work on and look forward to and challenge myself to try in the coming year. I did this last year via Gretchen Rubin's challenge to do the same (21 for 2021) and many were accomplished. Do this in a way that is life-giving and fun.

👂🏽 What You Discover When You Really Listen. I have learned that the activities of coaching and consulting with others (coupled with decades of pastoral care in my previous careers) requires focus (as opposed to multi-tasking), presence, curiosity, and the ability to keep going through the layers. This TedTalk by Hrishikesh Hirway captures that process -- it provides valuable insight for managers and leaders, but also for individuals as they relate to everyone important to them. Amazing.

🎙 Podcasts that I Can't Stop Listening To. Sometimes I feel like I could create a separate blog just for this topic... I am regularly awestruck and energized by the content I run into. My two latest favorites feed off of the recommendation directly above ~ perhaps you've already discovered Song Exploder on Netflix hosted by Hirway, which unpacks the process, in tremendous and fascinating detail, of how a song is written through in-depth interviews with the songwriter. But there are only a few episodes... so if you want a steady stream of new songs, I recommend the Song Exploder podcast. A similar podcast, yet totally different, comes from BBC Radio 4 that is called Soul Music. The title is a bit misleading... it does not solely cover soul music; rather, like Song Exploder, it explores stories behind all sorts of music -- but from the perspective of the listener, interviewing people who have had their lives (and souls) deeply impacted by a particular song. The episode of U2's I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For is outstanding. P.S. If you enjoy this exploration of the creative process, sign up for several hours of watching (which I found tedious occasionally, but overall very worthwhile) the documentary on the Beatles called Get Back.

🧊 ⛏ 25 Icebreaker Questions for Meetings and Groups ~ latest update. I try to regularly compile list of questions for teams to use to break the boring chitchat at meetings, so here's my newest list. Previous lists can be found at https://bit.ly/KSLD25Qs and https://bit.ly/KSLDTeamBuild.

There are even more things to recommend, but that's enough for now. I hope I get to connect with you in the new year. Please feel free to reach out with questions and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading.

Oct 2021: Hiring, Quitting, and Retention

I am having many conversations with clients across the board as to how many employees they are losing, and how many openings they have. I see it in the headlines and I also see it in real life. We are still figuring out how and why this is happening, but the reasons in this article resonate with many of the conversations I am having with both sides of the equation: employers and employees. 

So rather than post my best resources for the month, I'm sticking with one very good article, and deconstructing it based on the many, many conversations I am having in the past few months. The article is titled, "I spoke to 5,000 people and these are the real reasons they’re quitting," from Fast Company magazine.

Before I begin with my own conclusions: to give you an idea of my sample size, I average 4-6 client calls and presentations each day, Monday through Friday, and speak with about 60 individuals regularly (at least once a month). In September I met with people located in Pasadena, Boise, San Jose, Bangkok, Sarajevo, Chicago, DC suburbs, Santa Barbara, Austin, Glasgow, Wichita, Boston, Detroit, Portland, San Antonio, plus group calls with people distributed throughout Europe, Asia and Africa. SO fascinating!

The Fast Company article starts with this:

There have been reams of information written about employee motivation and performance over the last 100 years. But we’ve found there are nine key factors that impact these metrics—and they are much more important than pay and benefits. I call these nine factors the Currencies of Choice. 

Below I quote each of the nine currencies ("FC"), followed by my reflections ("KSLD"):

☮️ FC: 1. People want to work for a company whose values align with their own. This means a company that has a compelling purpose and values that resonate with the employee’s closely held beliefs. 

KSLD: This is, in part, a generational thing. Younger generations have been asking for the ESG rating of the companies they work for, and look for employers who have it. Do you have an ESG task force in place? Do you even know what "ESG" is? (Here is a great definition). How are you communicating the processes, projects, metrics and values around those standards? Good quote: Today’s workforce not only wants but often demands a role in shaping the organization’s purpose... Social capital has become just as important as human, financial, and physical capital. (Steve Graves). 

My advice: To hang on to newer college graduates, and to engage employees on a deeper level, I strongly suggest you pay attention to ESG.

🤛🏾 FC: 2. People want to work for someone they trust and respect. That person is you, their direct manager. No pressure! The Gallup organization’s research shows that managers can impact employee engagement by up to 70%.

KSLD: In other words, the majority of people do not quit their job per se; they quit their manager (ouch!). Much of my work in the past year have revolved around management training, because in fact, most companies do not have dedicated, comprehensive management training! Ask the managers you know what sort of training they received to be managers. I can bet that most of them will shrug and say they were basically thrown into the deep end of the pool and had to learn through trial and error. I counsel ALL executives to get serious NOW about developing up-to-the-minute, relevant, competency-based management training. Let me know if I can help!

👯‍♀️ FC: 3. People want to work with people they like. That’s hardly surprising since humans are tribal beings at heart. Even the most introverted among us want to belong to a group of people we like working with—especially since we spend such a significant amount of time interacting with our coworkers.

KSLD: I frequently rely on the "Q12" questions employed by Gallup that are designed to optimize employee engagement. They are asked to rate these on a Likert scale. Everyone cringes at statement #10: "I have a best friend at work." I suppose it feels sort of lame and junior high to ask that question, but Gallup says it well: "Human beings are social animals, and work is a social institution. Long-term relationships are often formed at work -- networking relationships, friendships, even marriages." I am finding that younger employees truly count on making friends at work. How does your workplace facilitate that?

🏆 FC: 4. People want to be appreciated in a way that’s appropriate to them. Some studies show that praise and appreciation are the top engagement factors among employees. Appreciation doesn’t have to include a grand gesture. A simple “job well done” or “thank you” can be enough. But it must be authentic, and it must be meaningful to them.

KSLD: "shout-outs" on Slack or Teams threads are all well and good, as well as "Employee of the Month" awards. But my strongest advice to managers is to ask people individually how they prefer to be appreciated. There are many options: gift cards, awards in front of peers, PTO hours, points toward pay increases, etc. Some people like attention and praise, many do not. It's important to pay attention to how people are best motivated.

📣 FC: 5. People want to have a voice. They want to be listened to and heard. They want to know that if they tell you something that’s not working, that it will be fixed—or that you’ll give them a good reason why it can’t be. They also want to be able to share ideas about how to make things better.

KSLD: Not to over-generalize, but this currency may be somewhat generational (like #1). Younger generations are more used to immediate feedback and dialogue. Remember, they are digital natives who have known nothing else other than the immediacy of the internet, social media comments, and text messaging. They do not want to work within the constraints of annual reviews or generic town hall meetings. They prefer minimally hierarchical systems and input into decision-making.

📊 FC: 6. They want to know what they need to do to succeed and how that success will be measured. Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism makes a strong case that having clarity around roles and goals helps teams perform better; it encourages better behavior. 

📊 FC: 7. People want to learn, grow, and develop in their careers. Not everyone wants to climb the corporate ladder, but they do want to develop and grow in some way through training, additional responsibilities, special projects, or simply having variety in their role.

KSLD: I'm combining these two because I feel like they revolve around the same theme. What is crucial is that each organization needs to have a robust "talent lifecycle." Significantly, recent college graduates have lived through not one, but two cataclysmic economic crises. In light of the Great Recession of 2008-2009 and the current pandemic, employees' highest priorities are advancement opportunities and economic stability. These six stages need to be addressed in most companies.

📶 FC: 8. People want to be inspired to go the extra mile. People come to work to add value—we need to let them. Daniel Pink’s book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us makes a compelling case that people will go the extra mile if they have autonomy, mastery, and a sense of purpose in their role (refer to the first Currency of Choice).

KSLD: This is BIG. As FC mentions, this is tied in to the first currency related to alignment of values. In this time of so many unknowns, it really helps if we are given a sense of purpose and the big picture for WHY we are doing what we are doing.

❤️ FC: 9. People want to spend most of their day doing work they love. They want to spend time doing things they’re not only good at but also enjoy doing. 

KSLD: this captures the bulk of what I work on with clients... helping to build a strengths-based culture, where people are set up to succeed and freed up to be self-motivated to do quality work.

 

In summary, here are my suggestions for beating
the Great Resignation of the COVID-19 Pandemic:

1. ESG!
2. Commit to solid management training
3. Pay attention to trust-building and culture creation
4. Provide genuine affirmation and appreciation
5. Cultivate consistent dialogue and feedback loops
6. Deepen your talent lifecycle
7. (Ditto!)
8. Cast a compelling vision
9. Establish a strengths-based performance approach

✪ BONUS content: I have mentioned that some of these dynamics are generational. I thought this article did a good job succinctly describing them: This is how each generation is feeling about returning to the office.

Let me know if you need ideas or more resources. Reach out to me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading.

Coaching Conversations, July 2021: How to Keep Your Employees Engaged

First of all, an update: I floated a new series of posts here last month that I titled "The WAIT List," using the acronym "WAIT" to stand for "What Am I Talking" about with clients. The content appears to have been well-received... but the title? Not so much. So I'm going for the most basic, but perhaps most descriptive, title. So here's my next "Coaching Conversation." Thanks for reading.

* * * * *

In light of this summer becoming titled "The Great Resignation" by many, I met with two different
groups of managers this past week to talk about some of the many challenges they are encountering as their employees start returning to the office. The list is long: 

• 
  employers are experiencing remarkable levels of turnover;
• many workers resent the return to commuting;
• some feel they have not had any margin between persevering through the pandemic and now facing the return to the office;
• a lot of parents are not finding reliable childcare;
• there are several expressing a desire to continue to work remotely - as one manager described it, while working remotely even one day a week was not an option for most at the end of 2019, many employees in 2021 now cannot believe they are "only" being allowed two days a week to work from home; 
• let's be honest -- some people just want a change.

As managers and leaders, how can we make the return a healthy and positive one? It will require all of us to adjust some of our approaches to leadership. The workplace in 2021 is changing rapidly, and we need to remain agile in order to stay ahead of it all.

Harvard Business Review recently published a very good article titled "The Real Value of Middle Managers." I heartily recommend it. This quote really stayed with me:

Especially as remote and hybrid work takes over — and the distance between employees increases — middle managers are more important than ever... It is time to reunite leadership and management in one concept, and recognize middle managers as CONNECTING LEADERS. (emphasis mine)

I appreciate how the author seeks to reunite the concepts of "manager" and "leader" into one concept, but I want to emphasize what I focused on with the two teams of managers I met with last week: middle managers will need to double-down on relational investment as we move forward. 

Every workplace newsletter and blog and podcast is stating some variation of this reality: employers and managers cannot just focus on project management and operations. Given the incredible tumult of these past eighteen months, and the vulnerability we experienced with one another on a variety of levels, leaders are going to be relied upon to provide coaching, cultivate emotional intelligence, and even offer psychological support at times.

I know, I know... perhaps this is not what you signed up for. But the workplace plays a significant role in most people's lives. Research has shown that employees who feel connected to their organization work harder, stay longer, and motivate others to do the same. People want purpose and meaning from their work. They want to be known for what makes them unique. This is what drives employee engagement. And they want relationships, particularly with a manager who can coach them to the next level: this is who drives employee engagement.

So if you want your employees to remain committed, and not just survive, but thrive, employers will need to devote consistent effort on a few key things:

• FEEDBACK. Employees will stay if they know they will be recognized for their contributions.
• PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT. Team members will be energized if they see opportunities for professional growth and career development.
• TRANSPARENCY. Colleagues will band together if they understand when organizational change happens and why.
  
  

On top of all of your other responsibilities, how do you find the time to do this?? Great question. I recommend these 4 steps:

1. Commit to monthly meetings for your team that are dedicated to professional development.
2. Embed that time in your schedule: First Fridays? Last Thursdays?
3. Try to build some fun around that: include coffee and donuts, or a unique location where you will be uninterrupted and able to collaborate in a creative way.
4. The KEY: make a plan NOW for the coming year!

Professional development can and should come in a variety of forms: special speakers, webinars, articles, podcasts, book clubs, mentor programs, coaching, case studies, off sites...

Last but not least... I believe this plan is most effective if it is also paired with monthly 1:1’s with each team member. This is where you can customize the approach and focus on unique needs and issues. Transactional leadership simply does not work anymore. We have to be committed to building trust over time, and setting up our employees for success.

I have a TON of resources, so feel free to reach out to me if this feels overwhelming. I can't emphasize this enough: Set the schedule and make sure you prepare adequately. Carve out time each month to prepare, and bring variety to your training strategies. And let me know if I can help! Email me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.

June 2021: Time to Reset?

 

I don't even know where to begin. We are in the midst of such strange, disorienting times -- that somehow still feel better than this time did in 2020. I spent some time looking over my journal from a year ago during this Memorial Day Weekend, and was painfully reminded of George Floyd's murder, the protests and controversies that boiled over as a result, the profound fear and conflict bubbling out of COVID, and the... trauma of the presidential election. Wow.

I'm thankful to be vaccinated, and truly grateful for the work I get to do, that has remained surprisingly steady throughout such an unsteady time. Yet I am also aware of so many unknowns hovering over us: will the level of vaccinations in our country effectively stem the tide of infections that we witnessed in this last year? will schools get to open so that parents can truly go back to work? will the vaccines prevent the spread of the variants? will the businesses who have suffered this past year get to recover? will employment levels return to where they were pre-pandemic? how will children do long-term after such an isolating year? [heck, ALL of us?!] do I want to return to the office? These are just some of the questions I hear from clients, friends, podcasts, you name it.

I certainly cannot answer any of these questions, but I want to pass along a few resources and recommendations that I believe can help to sit with these questions and quandaries. Thanks for reading.

🗣 8 pandemic-related interview questions you should be ready to answer. While this article is designed to prepare a job-seeker for the new frontier of job interviews post-pandemic, I would almost recommend them as journal prompts for your own reflection! My favorite was #6: What do you do differently now? Just to answer that question personally: I find that multiple 1:1 video calls each day, while personally fulfilling in that I love connecting with clients in a productive and genuine way, are cumulatively taxing. I have had to "up my self-care game" in getting more rest, and committing daily to practices at the start of my day that center me

🤷🏽‍♀️ 10 Questions for a Successful Summer. Speaking of journal prompts, this one got my mind spinning in a lot of [productive] directions this past weekend, and I'm still sitting on a couple of them.  While this podcast is very... how do I put it... "female forward" (?) in its presentation, I think the questions apply to anyone, and invited me to really think creatively about what I want to do this summer. The first question is worth your attention: What defines success for you this summer?

🖥 Digital Tips. I spend an unexpected amount of time with clients assisting them in figuring out issues around productivity: how do I get a handle on emails? how do I remain focused when I'm getting constantly pulled away by hair-on-fire situations? how do I keep track of and manage so many projects? how do I effectively supervise others when I also have so much of my own work to do? While all of that is much longer conversation, here are two recommendations that I used this past month:

• 32 incredibly useful things you didn’t know Google Sheets could do. Perhaps I'm just a sucker for hacks. But this has some goodies! Current favorite: freezing rows. So helpful.
• The Case For Inbox Infinity. I like this one. Granted, I'm a major naysayer of Inbox Zero, so perhaps I like this because of its confirmation bias. But give it a go and see what you think. My favorite line: "For now, we’re stuck with email. You have to use it. But it does not have to use you." Music to my ears.

🧗🏽‍♂️ Life's Work: An Interview with Alex Honnold. If you saw the film "Free Solo," you will know why I like this article. Rather than read leadership books, I tend to like to read interviews, memoirs, and biographies about the lives of intriguing people to glean leadership insights. This one has some good tidbits about preparation, stewardship, how to remain focused, and how to keep motivated.

😵‍💫 How To Leverage The 7 Types Of Rest To Be Your Happiest, Most Productive Self. I've saved the best for last. This is an EXCELLENT article. Please, please read it. Then forward it to your people. Then print it out and read it in a park with a pen in your hand, or at least away from your desk. It is a REALLY good way to think about rest and self-care. As we move ahead in this post-pandemic landscape, we have to take our self-care to another level. This article provides a good inventory for assessing yourself and what you need. I showed it to a client who is a social worker and he read it, paused, then looked at me and said, This is a really good article. This backs up the latest research. But it is also engaging and readable. 

❝ ❞ Favorite quote these days. This was shared to me by a client. Thanks Deborah! 

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.”

 

Thanks again for reading this. Please feel free to pass it along to others. And ➡➡➡ please note the resource list I've posted directly to the right of this post for free and handy resources that will make your work life that much easier. And you can email me with questions, feedback or a request to meet for a free half-hour of coaching to assess what you need at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Ciao for now.

March 2021: THINK. SEE. HEAR. DO.

OOPS! I blinked and February sped past me. Wow. This month pulled me in several different directions with clients (for which I am incredibly thankful) AND I took a socially-distant RV trip with my best friend to celebrate my 60th (WHAT?!) birthday. We visited Zion, Bryce Canyon and Grand Canyon National Parks. I could fill this whole post with photos but... I also have a bunch of resources to share. So here is one photo of so many:

If you are so inclined, I cannot recommend each of these parks enough. This is a shot of Natural Bridge at Bryce Canyon. I was so refreshed by this trip!

And here are my recommendations for this month:

READING. Warning: Perhaps because I was an English major in college and read A LOT OF FICTION, my reading habits for the past several years have all been non-fiction. I am also a perpetual student, so I'm constantly reading about new things that interest me.

• Beyond Entrepreneurship 2.0. I'm reading this with 2 executive leaders right now and I was entirely won over after the first chapter. This is an update by Jim Collins, renowned author of Good to Great. This podcast interview of Collins in Nov 2020 convinced me that this would be a valuable read, and I was correct. 
• No Man is an Island. OK, this feeds my philosophical / theological / contemplative side. It's a classic by Thomas Merton. I'm reading this during Lent. Thick and thoughtful.
• Stop Softening Tough Feedback. This quick article had me at "hello" when it used the phrase "feedback sandwich," because I use that very phrase when coaching managers and executives. 

WATCHING. I cannot BELIEVE how much good, creative stuff is available right now. However, like my reading tastes, I veer more toward documentaries and reality shows (not the trashy stuff). Though I really, really loved Schitt's Creek. 

• Nomadland. I had heard raves about this film, and usually those sorts of things don't live up to the hype. But for me, this did not disappoint. Perhaps some of its impact was related to my recent trip all over Utah and Arizona, because this movie really captures much of the beauty of those wide open spaces. But the story, and the director's unique approach that wove together fiction and non-fiction, stayed with me after the film was over. It looks at some hard realities in our country, but it wasn't overwhelming.
• In and Of Itself. I am reluctant to say much about this film. Just watch it. Very powerful.
• Stanley Tucci "Searching for Italy." Remember when I said I like reality shows? THIS is what I mean. For context: I love, love, love Italy ~ I've been twice: first to Rome, Florence and Cinque Terre and later another trip to Naples, Amalfi Coast and Pompeii. If you are feeling uber-restless about not being able to travel much, this will scratch your itch. Then follow up with Chef's Table: France.

LISTENING. As I have mentioned multiple times here, I'm a podcast NERD. Here are just a few newbies:

• In Our Time by the BBC. I'm pretty confident you will either LOVE or HATE this. This podcast almost has me giddy. The combination of chippy British accents, delightful understatement and endless episodes about EVERYTHING under the sun is like Christmas for me.  Check it out.
• HBR Presents: After Hours. I have found this recently. I probably like the energetic, enthusiastic back-and-forth of the hosts as much as the content. But it covers current business trends in a concise, inviting way.
• Pivot. I believe I've mentioned this one before, but WOW there are So. Many. Confusing. Things going on right now. If you struggle (like me!) to understand bitcoin, blockchain, GameStop, short selling, SPACs... this is your show. Sure, the language is crass and their humor is a bit much at times, but they are in the game and really seem to get it.

WHAT AM I UP TO?

• Podcast Club. I've started doing a monthly podcast club for a client and we've done two months so far. I think it's working! I have at least 20 podcast episodes you can choose from, and we use the time to provide professional development, team building and interesting exchange. 
• Strengths Finder Leadership Domains. If you're familiar with Strengths Finder, they have divided the 34 individual talents into four leadership domains: Executing, Influencing, Relationship-Building, and Strategic Thinking. I'm doing a 4-month series with a client on these domains and they are providing excellent ways to reflect on how to motivate employees and maintain momentum.
• Favorite new hacks. These are basic but helpful:
• Chit Chat Cards. Looking for good icebreaker questions for 1:1's and team meetings? Sick of "How's it going?" or "What did you do this weekend?" These are great to get things going in new ways.
• Four Zoom Chat Tricks. Did you know you can save a Zoom chat!? I sure didn't. Read on for more helpful tips...
• Remote Team Building Resources. It's not quite ready for prime time, but I'm in the midst of building a resource list for you to be able to access for ideas on how to creatively build TRUST and CONNECTION on your team as we work in this remote environment.

Please feel free to reach out to set up a time to connect and work together. Be well. kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

Nerds, Networks, Nearness and the Need for Speed - So Many Great Resources for March 2019

I feel like I can't type fast enough to get these written down for you! This is a TREASURE TROVE of super cool resources. Linger on each one - they are outstanding.

40 Things that Google Search Can Do. OK, this BLEW MY MIND!! I have apparently been living under a rock and use Google Search at about 1% capacity... Indeed, I know that the more we use Google the more they acquire information about us, but holy cow there are some great tools here. My current favorite is #12 ("need for speed"). This also falls under the "nerd" category of my title...

Jim Collins — A Rare Interview with a Reclusive Polymath. Here is "nerd" entry #2. I'm not gonna lie, this one is long and Tim Ferris nerds out at several points and nearly loses you. But I am such a huge fan of Jim Collins (haven't we all read Good to Great at some point?) that I stuck it out and I believe it was a great payoff. Listen and learn. I would suggest taking notes so as to not lose track. I just bought Collins' new monograph for Good to Great titled Turning the Flywheel.

Armchair Expert with John Gottman. This is an AMAZINGLY INSIGHTFUL interview with one of the foremost marriage therapists in the country. If you need a little more "nearness" with your significant other, tune in to this one. He especially explores issues around conflict. You can skip the last 40 minutes or so, where Dax Shepherd blathers on with his own commentary.

Research: Men and Women Need Different Kinds of Networks to Succeed. Yep, this speaks to "networks," obviously. I knew this information intuitively and experientially, but it was fascinating to see the research behind this one. Please read this one. It is so important to understand the limitations that women face in the workplace as they seek to advance, and how men understand and experience power. I can confirm all of it.

Assessment: How Well Does Your Team Function? I know, I know there are a ton of these sorts of tools out there, but I find HBR SO trustworthy, so this one jumps to the top of my list... If you decide to have everyone on your team take this assessment, they will receive something called "How Well Does Your Team Function? - Results." If you want to keep the results anonymous, you can have everyone send the results to me and I can collate the group's results. But it would also facilitate group discussion to just have everyone take the test on their own and share the results, if trust and communication are relatively strong. (I'm not entirely sure how this link fits into my title, but I couldn't pass it up! Perhaps "nearness" and "need for speed"?)

I will end with this...

“Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness, it turns out, is largely a matter of conscious choice, and discipline.” 

Jim Collins, Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don't

Questions or Feedback? Hit me up at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for visiting - share with your friends.

Mindsets, Management and Meetings

Three recent articles have gotten my attention this month and I want to share them with you. Try to carve out a few minutes to check out each one... WARNING: the titles don't capture the full value and I encourage you to give each one a chance. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised and maybe even learn something.

Are You Living in a Scarcity Mindset? I first learned of this concept from Stephen Covey's classic (which was P.S. a game-changer for me), 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. His description says it all: People with the scarcity mentality "see life as only having so much, as though there was only one pie out there. And if someone were only to get one piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else. The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life." The blog post I'm recommending here does a great job punching up the concept with some pertinent, real-life examples that really make sense in 2018. It also includes some thought-provoking questions for reflection. Don't skip it. (And for fun, watch the clip it includes from The Office. Can't lose!)

Teaching Students to Manage Their Time (applies to grown-ups too!) WOW this one surprised me. Check this opening paragraph: "Many adults don’t know how to manage their time adequately. The endless self-help books about time management, procrastination and work-life balance all point to challenges with organizing a daily routine that includes the assorted obligations of work and relationships." Yup! Guilty as charged. Take a few minutes to read this and see how the author breaks down time management in the most basic way possible and helps anyone think through how to get everything done. Bookmark this one.

Five Ways to Improve Your 1:1 Meetings. One of the reasons I enjoy my work is that no two days are the same, and I get to meet and work with a wide variety of people. However, one constant, regardless of whether I'm talking to people in Chicago, DC, Boise or Bangkok, is that the bulk of my appointments are 1:1. While I think I do best 1:1 rather than in group meetings, I am regularly reminded that I cannot hide behind boring agendas or a blabbermouth co-worker when it's just me and another person looking at each other. How do I keep these meetings fresh? Put your brain on the rinse cycle and see if this article gives some good reminders and tactics.

As we marked the autumnal equinox recently, I will pass along these deep thoughts:

I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and 

have it all to myself, than be

crowded on a velvet cushion.

Henry David Thoreau

June 2018 Adventures: Lessons Learned

As I zoomed along on my scooter at 40 miles an hour on Foothill Road in Santa Barbara this past Thursday, I reflected on a month where I flew three out of the four weeks:

• I spoke to Free Methodist pastors and leaders from seven states in the northern section of the Midwest at an annual conference that met in Wisconsin;
• I worked for three days in Boise with a great client, assisting them in developing their managers;
• I attended my niece's high school graduation near New York City (see photo of the proud auntie with her favorite niece), spent a few days being a tourist, then took a detour to Chicago on the way home to work with another client for two days on team-building and communication.

These are all activities I have done many times over. Nevertheless, I still have plenty to learn and want to pass a few things along:

What do you have to do become a "great communicator?  After sitting through yet another graduation ceremony, I can safely say that they are still astoundingly boring affairs! Why in the world do they allow school principals and superintendents to drone on and on about dreams and diligence, when absolutely NO ONE is there to hear them speak?? All we want to do is yell and clap when the name of our beloved child/niece/friend is said, and yet that is tacked on to the end, almost as an afterthought, to be plowed through as quickly as possible. In light of this ordeal, I was very attentive to the question addressed in this article.  Though geared for academic administrators, it contains excellent advice for EVERY leader. Key points touch on understanding your audience, power of listening, and good follow up are rock solid.

Strong cultures make it safe to make a mistake. Regardless of the millions of dollars at stake in any given enterprise, I still find that people‘s needs are pretty basic: they want to feel accepted and welcomed wherever they are, and they want to know how to get along with people that they may not agree with. In other words, relationships are central to the workplace. Though only a 20-minute podcast interview, this was packed with some great nuggets to ponder. Statements like, "Good teams work when people have permission to tell each other the truth," and "Groups are built exactly the same way. You can’t just wait for trust to descend from the heavens. You have to build it by being purposefully open with each other," have really stayed with me and have landed when I shared them with clients. Download this one onto your smartphone and take notes.

Five Signs You're Ready to be a Manager. Whether I was speaking to several hundred pastors and leaders on leadership development, coaching new managers as they build their first teams, or training a  team of twenty-five to communicate and collaborate more effectively within a nationally distributed organization, I found the basic principles in this article to hold true. This is a refreshing take on the soft skills required of a leader. After you read it, pass it along to a colleague.

Final thoughts...

A proud heart can survive general failure because such a failure does not prick its pride. It is more difficult and more bitter when a man fails alone.

Chinua Achebe, writer and professor

If You are Leading Anyone, Anywhere, You Should Read This

Whenever I run into an old friend (which happens often because I've lived in the same town since 1979...), I usually get "so-what-are-you-up-to?" question and I try to briefly explain this whole consulting and leadership development "thang" I've been doing for the last several years and more often than not I get a bit of a cocked-head look that says, "What exactly does that MEAN?"

If you are...

... an owner, executive, senior leader, supervisor of many;

... a (new?) manager leading a team of employees;

... a grad student / teacher / professor instructing and advising students;

... a coach guiding, training, coaxing, pushing athletes;

... a parent;

... a volunteer leading others at church, school, or non-profit...

Then YOU ARE A LEADER. And most leaders do not receive much training before they get thrown into the water to see if they can swim!

So I try to help with that process, mostly listening and empathizing a lot before I try to give any feedback to assist in their leadership development. Currently I'm working with college presidents, senior pastors, faculty, C-Suite executives, directors of non-profits, business owners, managers and really really nice people!

In the spirit of this glorious pursuit of leadership development, here are four useful articles. Bookmark this and read one each day this workweek. Share them with your colleagues. Discuss them around a table. Make it normal and transparent to talk about leadership development. There is ALWAYS more to learn. We can always get get better. Cheers!

HBR IdeaCast on Leading During a Time of Change. Harvard University's president, Drew Gilpin Faust, is moving on after being the president of Harvard for the past 11 years. This is a fascinating interview about how to get a whole bunch of moving parts in some sort of synchronization. (Pssst! The HBR IdeaCast is a good podcast to follow...)

How to Bring Out the Best in Your People and Company. Wow. Wow. Wow. This is a really good article. Take the time to work through it with your colleagues. The opening lines had me at "hello." (Perhaps because they quote Brene Brown!)

Connecting with others and belonging are basic human needs that are essential to being our best selves.

Social science researcher Brené Brown defines belonging as "the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance."

This is an outstanding how-to on the fundamentals of team-building and culture.

How to Recover from a Cultural Faux Pas. Admit it. We've all done it... either we're nervous or think we're funny or we're just CLUELESS and we put both feet and one of our hands into our mouth by saying something stupid (lame, insensitive, embarrassing, uninformed...). As our world grows and grows through technology, global economics, and ease of travel, we have even more chances to get it wrong. This is a good start. 

Using Multiple Trello Boards for a Super-Flexible Workflow. I know, I know, it feels OVERWHELMING to think AGAIN about how to manage your emails / projects / meetings / travel / appointments / etc etc. and you are so tired of all these productivity apps making promises they don't keep. All I can say is "I'm sorry" and "I understand." But a KEY PART of leadership development is keeping on top of all the crazy!! At least I can say that this article holds you gently by the hand and walks you into a possible plan for organizing all the details. That's all I'm saying...

Please let me know if one or all of these are helpful. I'm rooting for you!

Update on Podcasts Post No. 4: Astronauts Are Awesome!

Last week I wrote about an excellent podcast I'd recently listened to on how to built trust on teams. And they profiled space programs as exemplars of this approach.

I'm happy to report that a client reached out to me after reading my post and listening to the podcast. See his brief comments below... and see his example as an invitation from me to do the same. I would LOVE to give profile to your experiences with anything I talk about here. Thanks for reading and collaborating! See his feedback below.

Okay, this podcast was AWESOME!  I’ve always been fascinated by space, so listening to any podcast where astronauts share their experiences is a lot of fun.
And trust is something near and dear to my heart as well.  Combine the two and it’s a perfect podcast.

Over the years, I’ve experienced great team building activities and horrible team building.  I think this podcast nailed it on the head.  When leaders or team members are vulnerable first, it is a catalyst to build trust. 

My philosophy has always been to combine team building exercises into fun, crazy group activities along with time of sharing from the heart. 

I’ve forwarded this podcast on to my key team leads and challenged them to think of how we can improve building trust among our teams.  I’ll follow up with them later this month to see what ideas they come up with.  Should be interesting to hear from them - they bring a wide span of gifts to their leadership.  I love my job! Thanks for sharing.

Again, feel free to let me know your thoughts on the resources I share here. You don't have to work alone.

I'll end with my favorite quote from this week ~ it was shared at a roundtable I participated in earlier this week. Cheers!

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” 

― R. Buckminster Fuller