🌼 March 2024: Transitions, Tips, Tasks and Top 5

One of the many things I enjoy about my work is the variety of clients and situations I get to work with. In any given day I may get to work with Gen Z college students, a higher ed executive, a team working on ecological preservation and restoration, and leaders creating opportunities for first-time home buyers from marginalized populations. And then the next day I'm hearing from engineers navigating the ever-changing landscape of AI, coaching a founder of a non-profit teaching code to refugees, and following up with a former student needing some insight on a career pivot. I learn something from each one of them, and deeply value their trust and willingness to consider challenging questions.

I'm currently reading Generations: The Real Differences between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers and Silents -- and What They Mean for America's Future by Jean Twenge in preparation for some presentations I've been asked to give on what it takes to manage Gen Z'ers. While I have lived long enough to know that each generation has its own unique qualities and challenges, what is standing out to me the most about the book so far is that there are some very unique dynamics that we are currently facing in the world today. Between teaching a college class of 20-22 year olds and recently celebrating another birthday that gets me that much closer to the classic age of retirement, what is standing out to me the most is this trend described by Twenge as "taking longer to grow up, and longer to grow older." In other words, people are reaching milestones like driver's license, getting married and retiring at far different ages than they did in the past. In turn, that is changing a lot of sociological dynamics. And I am seeing and experiencing those in real time.

So perhaps that is the lens through which I especially noticed this month's recommendations. Let me know if any of them spark your interest. Thanks for reading.

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🍼 👨🏽‍🦳 Parents, Young Adult Children and the Transition to Adulthood. This comes from Pew Research and provides some fascinating and robust data. Here's a teaser statistic: Parents are very involved in their young adult children’s lives. Majorities say they text (73%) or talk on the phone (54%) with a young adult child at least a few times a week. Given that I talked to my parents once a week on the phone while I was in college because long distance was so expensive, I cannot even imagine this! Scroll down further in the article and you will see 5 additional "chapters" to this report that are worth paying special attention to.

🧰 9 Tips for Landing a Job if You're Over 50. Several of my #careercoaching clients are in that #midlife time of reassessing their professional and life #goals. Many of our conversations touch on several of the strategies suggested here. 

🎉 How to Create Your Own "Year in Review." I am having multiple conversations with #clients about #annualreviews and I am trying to equip them to be able to talk about themselves in energetic and engaging ways. If you are struggling to get started, I think this article from #HBR can stir the creative juices.

5️⃣ New and Improved CliftonStrengths Top 5 report. As of January 20, Gallup has created a new and improved Top Five results report. I encourage you to log back in to the Gallup website, then look on the right side and click on “CliftonStrengths Top 5 Report.” It’s 19 pages and shows how each of your top 5 pairs with your #1, among other things. This is providing really NEW and valuable insights to the clients I have used it with so far. PRO TIP: Use this expanded info to prepare for job interviews and performance reviews. Tell me what you think!

😵‍💫 A List of Soul-Sucking Tasks and How They Affect You According to Your Strengths. More than likely, you have done CliftonStrengths at least once with me and know that I like to talk about the Balcony and the Basement. Here's another interesting list of situations that you might encounter at work and why they can be frustrating for you. If anything, it will provide a good laugh.

👩🏽‍💼 Executive Presence for Women. Great discussion with very specific advice on how to carry yourself professionally, especially in a remote context. I’ve already used it with two clients.

👵🏽 Redesigning Retirement. So I'm a little closer to the classic #retirement age than I'd like to admit... yet this article will surprise you as to the growing trends among 65-75 year olds. Check this out: "Seventy-one percent of Americans who are 65 or older say that the best time of their lives is not in the past but right now or still in front of them. And 83% say that feeling 'useful' is more important to them than feeling 'youthful.'”

🎧 If you want or need a healthy distraction... Maybe it is just me, but between world events and national politics, I am already getting overwhelmed and stressed out. If you want a fun and relatively productive distraction, I recommend this new podcast called WikiHole. A bit hard to explain, but it's a weekly collection of comedians falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes. Give it a try!

Thanks for reading -- feel free to pass this along to a friend or coworker. And I love hearing from you all with questions, comments and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!

September 2023: Boggled, Building, BP10, More Building..

Normally the month of August is a quiet one with coaching clients because people jam in some last-minute vacations, but for whatever reason(s), this one was packed! Below are just a sampling of the many resources I used this past month. Goodbye to summer, hello to fall!

😵‍💫 Boggled by AI? Join the club! I recommend following this blog regularly. This particular post gives you an overview of the AI landscape. Definitely worth it. 

🗣️ Building a Culture Where Employees Feel Free to Speak Up. I recently trained a group of #managers in how to cultivate #psychologicalsafety on their teams. The presentation included basic concepts, case studies, breakout discussions and recognition that this is a key part of the manager's job, whether they signed up for it or not! This link provides a good article from #hbr on getting started on building this sort of space for your team.

🆕 BP10: do you want to start something new? I am currently coaching 10 individuals in career discernment - more than I ever have at the same time. That tells me something. Many tell me they are restless, or searching for something new/ meaningful / energizing... others feel stuck, while some feel daunted at the possibility of doing the same thing they are doing now for 20-25 more years. Last but not least, some feel the itch to take a risk. If you have an idea or a sense that you want to launch out on your own, I believe this assessment from Gallup is the best tool to start with. (PS I do not work for Gallup!!) I just retook BP10 after first taking it in 2019, and it gave me some new insights to my goal-setting for this fall into 2024. There are some amazing tools that come with it, plus some helpful podcasts, and it syncs well with StrengthsFinder. Email me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me if you'd like to work on it together!

❓Team-Building Question for the Month. I coach the overwhelming majority of my clients virtually, and in turn they work virtually with their teams. I strongly suggest using creative ice-breaker questions on a consistent basis to help create a warmer, fun, collegial, maybe even mildly vulnerable work vibe. One team I work with calls this exercise "Thursday Thoughts" on their Teams thread and they have agreed to respond within 24 hours once the question is posted. Here is a question for the month:

“What song best describes your life right now?” 

A related one: “What song sounds like the motto of your life?”

What are my responses? (Glad you asked!): 

Closer to Fine by the Indigo Girls (admittedly, it’s back in my mental playlist thanks to the Barbie movie!)

Life motto song: Shed a Little Light by James Taylor

⛑️ Building Wellbeing in the Workplace. This is a one-hour dive into #wellbeing in the #workplace, but truly worth the time. The conversation breaks down the realities of #burnout and how it is an *occupational* condition most impacted by the way we each interact with our workload, co-workers, and company values. It's a discussion between top-drawer researchers but they use non-technical, everyday language. I found it incredibly insightful. A brief article in a similar vein from Psychology Today website can be found here.

🥵 How to Handle Feeling Overworked. I'm leading a professional development discussion on this #podcast next week. The title describes it well. If the fall is a "new year" for you and you're feeling #overwhelmed and/or #overworked, take 40 minutes to listen to it. Calmly and clearly, #MurielWilkins coaches a #client through the steps to address those feelings with real and practical value.

And if you are so overworked you can't even handle taking that on, just put this song on repeat 😉 The song of my senior year...

🎧 Recommended podcasts (for fun!). OK, admittedly, I personally find these podcasts a relaxing way to unwind from a full day -- hope you do too. They also give you a peek into my "diverse" tastes:

• Broken Record. INCREDIBLE conversations with musicians on how and why they make their music. The recent one with Paul Simon left me speechless. 
• Strike Force Five. Conversations between late-night talk show hosts Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers & John Oliver that they are doing to help pay their staffs during the WGA/SAG strikes. Stupid fun.
• Sidedoor. From the ridiculous to the... super nerdy. Here's the description: "More than 157 million treasures fill the Smithsonian’s vaults, but where public view ends, Sidedoor begins. With the help of biologists, artists, historians, archaeologists, zookeepers, and astrophysicists, host Lizzie Peabody sneaks listeners through Smithsonian’s side door to search for stories that can’t be found anywhere else." Dork Heaven.

All for now. Please reach out with questions and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. And share this with a friend or coworker!

June 2023: Coping, Coaching & Career Changes

I am approached by so many clients who feel stuck, got laid off or are just experiencing an all-too-real mid-life crisis that I have created a "career coaching bundle" where I provide six one-hour sessions for $500 (prepaid on VenMo or Zelle) where I work with individuals in a few ways:

• We start with an initial conversation around what is needed, identify some sticking points, and then confirm a plan;
• I recommend a couple of assessments (usually StrengthsFinder and VIA) and then walk through the results;
• I strong recommend 1-2 books that are related to discernment, career, vocation, self-awareness. We then work through them;
• Once there is some clarity, I can then assist with developing and enhancing LinkedIn, resumes, cover letters, networking, informational interviews, etc.
• I am then available to help prepare for interviews and follow up.

My goal is to provide something affordable and accessible for people who feel a bit lost or overwhelmed. If this captures what you might need you can reach me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me to set up a time to get started.

Recommendations for this month...

✍🏾 How (and why) you should create a backup plan for your career. These 5 tips are basic, but also pretty fundamental and worth your time. Several clients I talk to are daunted by the prospect of creating such a plan, but simply avoiding the topic solves nothing! If it all feels rather overwhelming, start with this article and see if it can help you get started. (And note the career coaching bundle listed above as well 😅)

🔨 How to Build a Personal Brand. I know, I know, most people I talk to are allergic to the whole concept of "brand.". But this article captures the essence of why it is important to pay attention to it. Frankly, I coach a lot of clients on how to do this in a way that feels authentic to them. Contact me if you want to talk more about it. Additionally, here’s an interview of one of the authors of the article. I like how the interviewers really push back on the idea of branding in such a way that addresses all of our visceral reactions around this concept.

🧠 Neurodivergence at Work. I just coached a group of managers on this topic last week. This continues to be a very important issue for discussion. I am consistently (as in, almost weekly) encountering employees and/or their managers discovering that they need to learn how to manage work with ADHD, autism, OCD, dyslexia, or mental health diagnoses. While these are not "problems to fix" as much as dynamics to manage, there is a growing awareness in the workplace around neurodiversity and certainly requires further learning by executive leadership and human resources. This article by a true legend, Temple Grandin, titled When Great Minds Don't Think Alike, offers helpful insights as well.

😓 "What's Your Grief" Care Plan. Just this week I coached someone who lost two family members during the pandemic and has not yet had the space to grieve. We talked through her options for getting the support she needs. Furthermore, grief takes a variety of forms. I find that some of my clients are grieving co-workers lost through layoffs or resignations, and others are discouraged by how their company culture has been changed in disruptive ways. I cannot emphasize how important it is to address those feelings of loss.

🔍 "My Manager Tracks Us All with Google Alerts." Good (and painful?) reminder that everyone can track us online. Yikes.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to forward this others! I welcome questions and feedback, and am happy to meet for a complimentary 30-minute consultation for new clients interested in finding out more about coaching options available. Just email me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.

January 2023: Reading, Reflection and Revving Up

I don't know about you, but I'm having a bit of a hard time getting going again after the long break. Part of it could be the dark and dreary days of late (that's right, Santa Barbara is actually having weather recently, with many days of rain and overcast, which we certainly need), but I am guessing part of it is also how the holidays fell this year, which allowed for consecutive long weekends, about which I am NOT complaining!

But it is time to get started, and I am hoping that writing this post will assist me in revving up for 2023! I hope it proves the same for you. 

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💥 Word of the Year Generator. There is nothing magical or prophetic about this. It is just a fun exercise to jump start your vision and strategy for 2023. My word was “Inspire” ~ I’ll take it! I spent some time in my journal considering how I might gain inspiration in the coming year, and how I might inspire others.

I passed it along to a few friends… one received the word “Yes!” and she loved it. Another received “Burn” and that was energizing for her: what might she burn down this year? What fires her up?

Yet another received the word “Work.” Nope! She didn’t want that one… the second was “Youth” - no connection for her there. Then she got “Surprise” and that worked. Again, no rules here. Just have fun with it, see if it sparks something for you and pass it along to others.

✅ Best Productivity Apps for 2023. This may feel like I am talking out of both sides of my mouth because I am a huge fan of the authors Oliver Burkeman and Walter Brueggemann, who both say that we need to focus far less on productivity and much more on being present and mindful. I could not agree more.

Nevertheless, I am also realistic that each of us are responsible for getting work done, and many of the apps described here are helpful in self-organizing and prioritizing. These words from the article put it well: 

The problem: productivity is deeply personal, and the words "productivity tools" mean a lot of different things to different people. What works for you may or may not work for me, which is why—after over a decade of writing about productivity software—I don't really believe there are objectively "best" productivity apps… Just remember: the specific app doesn't matter. The best productivity app is the one that works best for you. The most important thing is having a system.

⏰ Wake Up Your LinkedIn Profile. I often coach people who need help finding a new job or even a new career. One of the many key elements in that process is starting / improving / refining / maintaining your LinkedIn profile and presence.

First of all: I highly recommend working on your profile before you need to find a job. No doubt you are discouraged and exhausted when that time to transition comes, and the creative juices are often squeezed out by fear and stress. So please make a resolution to work on LinkedIn proactively and consistently, not just when you need to look for a job... you just never know :) Here are three links I recommend:

• Thirteen LinkedIn Banners and Examples
• How to Get Noticed on LinkedIn ~ Coaching for Leaders podcast
• 31 LinkedIn Tips to Make Your Profile Shine

📚 What Did I Read // What Am I Reading? I have mentioned here before that I am a recovering English major, so I am a BIG reader. (I also have Input as my #5 talent in StrengthsFinder). I have a few friends who are frustrated with me that I do not read fiction... I don't have big explanations for this other than perhaps I burned out on having to read two books a week throughout four years of college, the majority of which was fiction? ANYWAY, here are my top five favorite books from 2022, though it is difficult to narrow it down:

1. 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. I am relentlessly pumping up this book by Oliver Burkeman (as I have done so previously on this blog). So, so good. It really made me reflect on my fierce focus on productivity and how that is unhealthy in so many ways. I can say I feel changed by this book.
2. On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old. One of the favorite authors of my life is Parker Palmer, and he does not disappoint here. I initially was not interested in this book because he was writing from his 80 year-old perspective, and I did not think I was in that mindset yet. But I was humbled to realize that I should not wait until I'm 80 to think back (and forward) on my life --- DUH. 
3. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. I feel like the title says it all. I recommend this book to so many clients and when the 25th anniversary edition came out this year, I decided to read it again. Gulp. This book kicked my ass, plain and simple.
4. Calypso. Few writers make me laugh out loud like David Sedaris. His stories, especially about his family, are hilarious, and yet sometimes also a punch in the gut. Who needs fiction when I can read stuff like this?!
5. How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question. My favorite show streamed during COVID was The Good Place, and after I finished it I became borderline obsessed with the ideas behind the show and with its creator, Mike Schur. When I heard about this book, which emerged from his work on the show, I snapped it up. His goal was to write a book about philosophy that his teenage children would understand, and that was perfect for me! Check it out.

What Am I Reading? I am almost always working on a few books at a time, so here goes:

• Sabbath as Resistance: Saying No to the Culture of Now. Remember, I mentioned Walter Brueggemann earlier. This book is a stunner. I'm trying not to rush through it. 
• Writers and Their Notebooks. I think I read more about writing than do much actual writing. Oh well. I find this book super interesting. And it's easy to pick up and just read for a few minutes.
• Talent: How to Identify Energizers, Creatives and Winners Around the World. I have not officially started this one, but it's in the hopper. I work with several clients regarding recruiting, interviewing and retention, and this is apparently *the* book of the moment in that arena. Stay tuned.

⁇ 🤔 Questions for the New Year. I will end with this. As I mentioned in last month's post, I am a big fan of journaling, and a great resource for journaling prompts is the therapist Esther Perel. Here are her New Year's prompts:

What are your associations with the “new year”?

Does the promise of new beginnings motivate you?

Does the conclusion of the previous year stress you out?

Do you prefer to bring in the new year dancing with others or in quiet contemplation with yourself? Why?

What area of your life could use more structure?

What area of your life could use more spontaneity?

As I said, I hope these recommendations rev you up for 2023. Thanks for reading -- feel free to pass this along to a friend or coworker. And please send questions or feedback, or set up a free 30-minute consultation, at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers! 

June 2022: Summer Suggestions

If you read my previous post, you know that I have a little more time in my schedule these days to read and reflect (at least theoretically!). So just two weeks later, I already have a bundle of recommendations for you. 

Since the pandemic began, my clients have needed a steady stream of resources related to stress management and the many ways that COVID and world events have turned our worlds upside down. Despite the ongoing stream of bad news that seems to bubble up every other day, I do have a list of links that pertain primarily to a favorite topic of mine: #leadershipdevelopment. Please let me know if you find any of these useful!

⏱ How to Help an Employee Who Struggles with Time Management. This is very good - a much more holistic approach that doesn’t reduce the problem to just finding a new #productivity app. I especially like the way it challenges the manager to recognize how much their own communication and delegation matters. 

⏳ Best Time-Saving Google Assistant Tricks. I have a significant number of clients who are neurodivergent, meaning that they are on the autism spectrum, ADHD, dyslexia or a few other neurological diagnoses. Sometimes, these folks struggle with staying on task or losing track of time. I have shared this link with several of them and they have told me it has been helpful. Note that these tricks are also useful if you are someone who often engages in deep work or really gets into flow, yet still needs to keep track of commitments at times. Last but not least, here's a useful link on time blindness, which is something often experienced by those with ADHD. Even if you do not struggle with this, you might manage someone who does and it could be a great opportunity to dialogue about how to work within the constraints created by that.

🤷🏽‍♀️ Best Practices for Hiring Gen Z. Given the roller coaster ride we are currently on, I cannot tell if we are still in the Great Resignation or a recession or what!? Nevertheless, talent managers and leaders are experiencing new challenges almost daily as they try to figure out how to recruit new hires, manage expectations around remote and hybrid work, and retain valuable employees. I thought this article did a good job describing what it's like to recruit and hire new graduates. We really do need to become students of who they are and what they want, because they bring some very new expectations to the workplace.

⁉️ Creative Questions. These could be used in a variety of contexts. For example, I am often asked by clients for help with coming up with creative questions to open meetings that are fun but also build trust and connection on teams, but they are useful in job interviews too. And honestly, they would be fun around the dinner table with friends too! 

• Best job interview question of all time.
• The Best Question to Ask a Job Applicant (extended article of the first one).
• 15 Questions for Team-Building. This is a new list I've compiled. 
• The kitchen sink. Here are all of my lists, past and present. Go crazy.

🗣 Ask a Manager. Where has THIS been all my life? You can also follow them on Twitter. I also recommend "Ask a Boss." Obviously, I recommend proactive professional development for managers and leaders and not reactive "hair-on-fire" crisis management, but this could be a good site to bookmark as a reliable reference for problems in a pinch.

Final Thoughts. As I s-l-o-w-l-y recover from my broken ankle, I am doing as best I can to live day by day and cultivate patience. In recent reading, I came across this quote from Simone Weil, a 20th century French philosopher and mystic:

We do not obtain the most precious gifts by going in search of them but by waiting for them.

May we each do our best to patiently persist through the highs and lows of these days. Thanks for reading. Please reach out with questions or feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.  

March 2021: THINK. SEE. HEAR. DO.

OOPS! I blinked and February sped past me. Wow. This month pulled me in several different directions with clients (for which I am incredibly thankful) AND I took a socially-distant RV trip with my best friend to celebrate my 60th (WHAT?!) birthday. We visited Zion, Bryce Canyon and Grand Canyon National Parks. I could fill this whole post with photos but... I also have a bunch of resources to share. So here is one photo of so many:

If you are so inclined, I cannot recommend each of these parks enough. This is a shot of Natural Bridge at Bryce Canyon. I was so refreshed by this trip!

And here are my recommendations for this month:

READING. Warning: Perhaps because I was an English major in college and read A LOT OF FICTION, my reading habits for the past several years have all been non-fiction. I am also a perpetual student, so I'm constantly reading about new things that interest me.

• Beyond Entrepreneurship 2.0. I'm reading this with 2 executive leaders right now and I was entirely won over after the first chapter. This is an update by Jim Collins, renowned author of Good to Great. This podcast interview of Collins in Nov 2020 convinced me that this would be a valuable read, and I was correct. 
• No Man is an Island. OK, this feeds my philosophical / theological / contemplative side. It's a classic by Thomas Merton. I'm reading this during Lent. Thick and thoughtful.
• Stop Softening Tough Feedback. This quick article had me at "hello" when it used the phrase "feedback sandwich," because I use that very phrase when coaching managers and executives. 

WATCHING. I cannot BELIEVE how much good, creative stuff is available right now. However, like my reading tastes, I veer more toward documentaries and reality shows (not the trashy stuff). Though I really, really loved Schitt's Creek. 

• Nomadland. I had heard raves about this film, and usually those sorts of things don't live up to the hype. But for me, this did not disappoint. Perhaps some of its impact was related to my recent trip all over Utah and Arizona, because this movie really captures much of the beauty of those wide open spaces. But the story, and the director's unique approach that wove together fiction and non-fiction, stayed with me after the film was over. It looks at some hard realities in our country, but it wasn't overwhelming.
• In and Of Itself. I am reluctant to say much about this film. Just watch it. Very powerful.
• Stanley Tucci "Searching for Italy." Remember when I said I like reality shows? THIS is what I mean. For context: I love, love, love Italy ~ I've been twice: first to Rome, Florence and Cinque Terre and later another trip to Naples, Amalfi Coast and Pompeii. If you are feeling uber-restless about not being able to travel much, this will scratch your itch. Then follow up with Chef's Table: France.

LISTENING. As I have mentioned multiple times here, I'm a podcast NERD. Here are just a few newbies:

• In Our Time by the BBC. I'm pretty confident you will either LOVE or HATE this. This podcast almost has me giddy. The combination of chippy British accents, delightful understatement and endless episodes about EVERYTHING under the sun is like Christmas for me.  Check it out.
• HBR Presents: After Hours. I have found this recently. I probably like the energetic, enthusiastic back-and-forth of the hosts as much as the content. But it covers current business trends in a concise, inviting way.
• Pivot. I believe I've mentioned this one before, but WOW there are So. Many. Confusing. Things going on right now. If you struggle (like me!) to understand bitcoin, blockchain, GameStop, short selling, SPACs... this is your show. Sure, the language is crass and their humor is a bit much at times, but they are in the game and really seem to get it.

WHAT AM I UP TO?

• Podcast Club. I've started doing a monthly podcast club for a client and we've done two months so far. I think it's working! I have at least 20 podcast episodes you can choose from, and we use the time to provide professional development, team building and interesting exchange. 
• Strengths Finder Leadership Domains. If you're familiar with Strengths Finder, they have divided the 34 individual talents into four leadership domains: Executing, Influencing, Relationship-Building, and Strategic Thinking. I'm doing a 4-month series with a client on these domains and they are providing excellent ways to reflect on how to motivate employees and maintain momentum.
• Favorite new hacks. These are basic but helpful:
• Chit Chat Cards. Looking for good icebreaker questions for 1:1's and team meetings? Sick of "How's it going?" or "What did you do this weekend?" These are great to get things going in new ways.
• Four Zoom Chat Tricks. Did you know you can save a Zoom chat!? I sure didn't. Read on for more helpful tips...
• Remote Team Building Resources. It's not quite ready for prime time, but I'm in the midst of building a resource list for you to be able to access for ideas on how to creatively build TRUST and CONNECTION on your team as we work in this remote environment.

Please feel free to reach out to set up a time to connect and work together. Be well. kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

My Christmas Gifts to You: December 2019

James Taylor's Christmas album is playing in the background as I write this... though I will admit I'm also wearing shorts and the sun is out here in Santa Barbara. I find it a little surprising that 2019 is coming to a close and that we are about to step into 2020, which sounds meaningful somehow.

Looking back, this has been a full year of literal travel (Chicago, Boise, Orlando, Dallas, San Diego, Malibu, Pasadena, Azusa, San Jose for work; Yosemite, Seattle, Maine and Alabama for fun) and a great deal of virtual travel with clients as well, to Washington DC, Seattle, Boise, Chicago, Sarajevo, Manila and Bangkok. I frequently tell people that I never could've imagined I would be doing what I am doing right now, and I am so grateful for the opportunities that have opened up to me.

In writing my last post on this blog for 2019, I thought it would be helpful to highlight some of the resources I always have available on my Google Drive, KSLD resources. Feel free to shop around there to your heart's content. Below I will list some of the goodies I have used the most with clients this year.

7 Steps To Creating The Best Personal Task Management System With Trello. I would venture to say that the top two questions that clients have the most for me relate to either conflict resolution or project management. Especially for someone relatively new to project management, I recommend they start with the Trello tool. This article is a great intro that walks you through it step-by-step.

The Future of Leadership Development: A Global Mindset. Thanks to technology and globalization, many companies find it almost common place to work on a daily basis with employees who are distributed around the world. Two of my clients have me doing leadership development work with their staff in Thailand, Bosnia, Philippines and Peru. This article is a good baseline to start from. Another super valuable tool is the book titled The Culture Map by Erin Meyer. I cannot recommend it enough and use it regularly with these clients and others.

Share your Signature Themes Report with Someone Close to You. Ten years ago I started using Strengths Finders with churches and with student interns and it ended up opening the door to so much more of the work I do now. I gave multiple presentations in the last two weeks to a variety of clients, from higher education to accounting to manufacturing, and never fail to be surprised by what sort of conversations it is able to spark, regardless of context. This particular document is especially helpful in getting someone to go deeper into the results of the Strengths Finder assessment, especially if they've got some doubts about their report. This document creates some wonderful conversation.

What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It). If I only have five seconds to explain to someone what I am doing right now, I simply tell them that I help companies cultivate soft skills with their employees. This article does a good job explaining why that is necessary. I never could've imagined that 35 years of working with people in my past roles would have led me to this point, but it has been so valuable to be so comfortable in meeting people where they are and helping them figure out what they need to move forward both personally and professionally.

Healthy vs Unhealthy Boundaries. I talk a great deal with people about what it takes to maintain healthy work/life balance, but more and more I am finding that for many people, work IS life. And the struggles they have in their home lives are the same ones they are experiencing at work. Frequently the issue of healthy boundaries comes up and this is a great resource. In addition, I recommend this one on healthy/unhealthy relationships.

14 questions to ask an underperforming employee during a one-on-one meeting. Last week I participated in a great training session with academic leaders who are trying to figure out how to best manage their teams. One of the most difficult aspects of leadership is addressing problems with performance in a way that is not discouraging, but is also clear and effective. I think this is a surprisingly useful article.

An extra: I recommend this for MUST-SEE TV. Last week I was utterly gripped by this documentary titled College Behind Bars, produced by Ken Burns and one of his favorite colleagues, Lynn Novick. Set aside four hours this month to watch this. It is a remarkable story of restoration and redemption, with tons of challenges and heartache along the way. I could not stop watching this.

Final thoughts... as you gather around tables with friends and family this month, I was moved by the challenge to ask this question:

At family dinner, don't just ask kids how the test went and whether their team won. Ask them who they helped—and who helped them. (Adam Grant)

Thanks for reading... feel free to pass this along to someone else, and please do contact me with feedback and questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. See you in 2020!

Human Resources in the 21st Century?

When I started working as a teenager in the mid-70's, we still used:

• landline phones
• typewriters
• carbon copies in those typewriters

Not to mention that this job was in a bank, where everyone came when they needed cash out of their checking accounts - no ATM's yet, either. And we were only open 10am to 5pm, Monday through Friday.

My how times have changed.

My observations is that the majority of changes in the workplace have come about due to advances in technology. Though I show my age here, I distinctly remember those early computer science courses on mainframe computers, my first bulky cell phone in 1999, and how I bought a copier that doubled as my computer printer at Costco for my home office. Compare all those old-school, pre-2000 changes with a video call with my laptop and bluetooth earbuds that I had last week with clients in Bosnia and Thailand. It's all I can do to keep up, but it's pretty cool all the same.

That being said, I am surprised at how much has not really changed when it comes to the people part of the workplace. Interoffice politics rage on, interpersonal conflicts continue unabated, and most clients I talk to are at a loss as to who to talk to about it when they are impacted. And while some companies have robust policies and company handbooks and HR departments pursuing 110% compliance, many other companies outsource much of their HR and "hot potato" the rest. 

I have come across three interesting links this week that speak to HR, or the lack thereof. Perhaps one of them scratch where you itch?

Here's Who You Can Turn to When You Can't Count on HR (or Your Boss). I liked this article because it captures the quandary many of my clients experience, though it's a bit more negative than what I see. It's not always that they cannot count on their boss, but that their boss is as stumped as they are as to how to turn things around. Fast forward to the "external experts" section of this article for a description of what I do....

How to Hire the Right Person (NYTimes Hiring Guide). I was really impressed by this resource. If, like some companies, the whole recruiting / interviewing / onboarding game is divided up among several of you, this might be truly helpful. Check it.

Why your HR Officer is Leaving. Keep in mind that this comes from the Chronicle of Higher Education and speaks directly to HR in the world of academia. But when I read it to an executive leader for a company I have worked with, she agreed immediately with all of the points that were made. Again, I think that we have to think long and hard about what we need HR to do and make it a priority. I think this article states it well:

I am concerned, but not all that surprised, by this new level of frustration and anxiety. While I happen to think it is an exciting time to work in a role that can influence cultural transformation, I appreciate that the work feels harder than ever. But it is important work. And while the #MeToo movement, the demands for pay transparency, and the discoveries of previously suppressed misconduct can be embarrassing for organizations and challenging to manage, it feels like — as a nation — we are finally engaged in important conversations about our most important values.

Let me know what HR looks like in your workplace ~ I'm super interested! Send me emails at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. As always, thanks for reading.

Strengths Finder Resource Page - All the Cheats!

Hey friends, I have met many, if not most, of my consulting clients through the Strengths Finder presentations that I give. As I keep coaching people individually, they invariably ask, "Remind me again where I find that podcast??" etc. So here is a one-stop shop with all the various resources that I have come to rely on. I may need to keep updating this as new stuff comes out. Here goes!

Clifton Strengths Finder main site This is home base, where you can eventually find almost everything you are looking for. I like going here mostly to track how many millions of people have taken Strengths Finder. However, I do not find this website always that easy to navigate. So here are a few of the key pages that I go to time and again:

• Strengths Finders assessments in other languages I currently have clients not only all over the United States, but also in Bosnia, Thailand, and the Philippines. Here is the link to help access assessments in the languages of over 20 countries.
• Buy all 34 of your Strengths, in order Once you understand the foundational aspects of Strengths Finder, I have found that it is most helpful to actually know where all 34 of the strengths fall for you and your profile. Here's the link for accessing all of your Strengths in order. First of all log into your account, then you go to the store and buy all 34 strengths. I really, really recommend that people not only know their Top Five, but actually their Top 10, which can really be active in your work if you are intentional about it. It is also super helpful to know your bottom five, which I would define not as weaknesses, but as your blind spots. It's always good to know where you definitely need to partner with someone else.
• Strengths Finder 2.0 book In my last two large presentations, people tried to order Strengths Finder 2.0 books from Amazon, which is what I have recommended for the last few years. Unfortunately two different people purchased the books, only to receive them without the code for taking the online assessments. In other words, some shady people are selling their used books online fraudulently. The only real way to avoid that is to purchase your books directly from Gallup.
• Strengths Finder Theme Insight Cards If I have coached with you for a while and you are now supervising others using Strengths Finder, I have found these cards helpful in individualized coaching. They are not that expensive (AKA cheap!) and concisely provide a lot of info in one place.

Additionally, here are a few other go-to links that are packed with resources:

• "Called to Coach" Facebook group for Strengths Finder "enthusiasts" Admittedly, this page is for the full-on nerds who want to understand as much of Strengths Finder as possible. I guess they have Input and/or Learner in their top five :-).......[Strengths Finder humor]
• Lead Through Strengths Resources This is a new page I am just getting connected with but I am especially impressed with the short but super helpful podcasts that are produced here.
• Theme Thursdays Webcasts & Podcasts I am ending this post with my very favorite page of all. This is where I think everyone learns the most about Strengths Finder and their profile once they have learned the basocs. I really recommend Seasons 1 & 2 of the podcast or the webcast as you get started, and then lean into Season 3 if you are involved in leadership, and the current Season 4 is great for understanding how to maximize your strengths in your work life and personal life. Sometimes the two hosts are a little bit too chipper for my taste, but ultimately, the content is super helpful.

In August and September I've given presentations in Washington DC, Pasadena and Ventura CA, coached five managers in Sarajevo, and given three online presentations that were dispersed throughout the West. I am kicking myself that I didn't start tracking at the start how many people I've met nor how many presentations I've given, but I am surprised (and thankful) to say it never gets old. After one of the online presentations last week, an instructor for the class emailed me and said, "I loved seeing the students happy and empowered last night." I was so happy to hear that.

Let me know if you need a refresher or an introduction, at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

#21stCenturyProblems

Though I dread to say it, my professional career started in 1983, and buckle your seatbelts, I didn't have a computer, a cell phone, or even ready access to a copy machine. (Shout out to ditto machines!)

As you pick your jaw up off the floor, rest assured we were still quite effective back then - we just relied more on landline phone calls, answering machines, driving to a lot of in-person meetings, and word processors.

Fast forward to 2018 and MyOhMy how things have changed. Today's articles are all about some of the questions we face now in the 21st Century workplace. Let me know if any (or all!) of this speak to your situation.

7 Skills That Aren't About to be Automated. This beauty comes from our trusty friends at Harvard Business Review and I think it's a winner. This sentence in the first paragraph drew me in: "...we’ll share seven skills that cannot only make you unable to be automated, but will make you employable no matter what the future holds." What I deeply appreciate about the seven that are listed is that they are all soft skills, which is the work I'm all about these days. Take some time with this one - it will be worth it.

The World Cup in What Language? I don't know about you, but I was personally addicted to the World Cup this year. I jumped up and down for Mexico (¡Viva el Tri!) until they were eliminated, then pulled for Croatia as the underdogs. ANYWAY, this article proves to be a great reminder as to the importance in this era of globalization and hyperconnectivity that we all need to learn the pronunciations, customs, and cultures of those we work with and meet. I have clients all over the US, but also in Thailand, Bosnia, Philippines and the UK. Sure is different from my early days! Let's do the extra work to get it right because it truly matters.

Is Striving for Inbox Zero Worth It? This link takes you to a 24-minute podcast that I found to be a fruitful discussion regarding this question. Personally, my goal is to keep my inbox under 100, so don't look to me as an example! Good stuff here about email management and organization too.

Work at Home or Not? Given that I've worked at home since 1994, you can guess where I fall on this discussion. But I recently read persuasive PRO and CON arguments on this topic that I want to share. Of the "pro" reasons, this one is my main reason for preferring to work remotely: Your Schedule Can Be Your Own. But the "con" list includes this compelling reason to prefer office work - I cannot argue with it: I Can Disconnect More Easily. Read the two articles and let me know what you prefer.

This just scrapes the surface of what are workplace dynamics these days, but hopefully gets the conversation started. Meanwhile, as I reflect on how much has changed in my working life since I first started, I also think more deeply about what I've learned. This quote from Aldous Huxley is especially poignant in that regard:

Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.

Ciao for now!

Leadership Lessons Learned from Laborers Leaving

Forgive my over-reliance on alliteration... I struggled to find a catchy title for this one!

Let me open by saying that I am NOT a Human Resources specialist. Any certification I've received in this realm comes from the School of Hard Knocks. But over the years (and especially in the last year or two) I've had several clients come to me with burning questions like:

• How often should I do performance reviews for my employees? And um, while we're at it, HOW do I do one?
• How do I fire someone?
• Should I do reviews for new hires? What questions should I ask?
• How do I motivate an employee to improve?
• How do I stop employee turnover?

In the world of #metoo and situations like the one Starbucks is facing right now, I will be the first to acknowledge that the whole HR world has gotten really complicated. In the past, Human Resources handled benefits and payroll, but was mostly available as a listening ear and a place to help mediate some sticky workplace conflicts. But now, most clients I talk to say that HR is so consumed with the administration of compliance and benefits that it has little to no time (or ability) to address the pressing questions I've listed above. This now falls to managers and leaders. And frankly, I think that is best.

Where do we start? Here are a few fundamentals I always make sure to ask:

1. CONFLICT. On a scale of 1 to 10, how well do you handle conflict? This is always my first question, and crucial to the conversation. I often find that situations are allowed to escalate to an unmanageable level before being addressed, which makes things all the more difficult to handle. I always try to have someone complete a StrengthsFinder assessment at the start, which really helps in assessing someone's capacity for handling conflict. And then I am able to coach them in the best ways to address tenuous and challenging situations sooner rather than later. Additionally, here's a quick article on getting a jump start on overcoming your aversion to conflict: Conversations When You Don't Like Conflict.
2. PERSONNEL FILES. Do you maintain up-to-date files on employees? This seems really basic, but I am always surprised at how often this gets neglected. In the hustle and bustle of daily office life, it is something easily put off for some other time. Yet it is imperative that managers and supervisors maintain up-to-date personnel files, and here are details on some best practices for how to do that. I would make sure to include significant communications through email that have been conducted as well. May I add that it becomes very difficult to let go of a difficult employee if you haven't maintained these files?
3. PERFORMANCE REVIEWS. How often do you conduct them? I am a huge fan of conducting 60- to 90-day reviews for new hires (letting them know at the outset that you'll be doing so). Let me know if you need help formulating a plan for that. I also heartily recommend that you conduct consistent performance reviews. However, we can all perhaps agree that the tradition of Annual Reviews feels rather useless, and has simply become an excuse for an employee to ask for a raise. This is a missed opportunity! Performance reviews can be a chance to develop your employees into leaders. But we must keep in mind that all research indicates that Millennials (currently aged 20-38, roughly) want more regular feedback in a much less structured way, in real-time. This may feel like additional work for the managers, but I find it also improves employee engagement to really commit to this form of leadership development - I recommend quarterly reviews, at minimum. Gallup is doing some good work in this arena. Here's a longer article, with my highlights to save you time! Re-Engineering Performance Management.
4. PIP. Have you ever done a Performance Improvement Plan? Sometimes I cut straight to the chase on this one. If you have never done one, it's time to learn! Here's an online article that I've used with a couple of clients. I like it because it takes the positive approach -- ideally, PIP's will help employees improve, rather than serve as a perfunctory step to cover one's behind in preparation to fire someone.
5. EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK. Do you even have one? I am WAY over my skis on this, but want to mention it. I know of resources to refer you to, but it is IMPERATIVE that your handbook be kept up to date -- everything is changing constantly, from online usage to dress codes to FMLA to harassment to so many other things, so cover your bases and schedule an annual update at the very least.
6. EXIT INTERVIEWS. Take the time to do these. In a time of low unemployment, I am hearing the woes of many employers - they are having a harder time than ever in keeping good employees. Glassdoor has written up a resource on how to conduct exit interviews that might be helpful. I'm hearing from some clients that they are gleaning useful data on how to tweak their employment numbers by doing this.

My goal with everyone I talk to about this is to encourage them to see these situations as opportunities to LEAD rather than as onerous burdens. If you want to create a culture of excellence, it includes paying attention to this. Let's get going!