☀️ June 2024: Career Questions, Reflective Writing, Pertinent Podcasts

📣 Latest update from last month's "big news"... I 🏁 FINISHED the creation of a video training series that I have been asked by Madecraft to make for them this spring and 🎥 FILMED it on June 6. Again, the course is on how to provide encouraging and empowering #leadership and #management to #GenZ employees! 🎉 I will keep you posted on when and where it will be released -- some time this summer. 

I also think anyone with kids ages 15-27 will find the content helpful as well. I am super excited for this new opportunity.

Meanwhile, how are you doing as summer starts and you're still facing a pile of work?! I hope these resources provide some encouragement and relief. Thanks for reading.

☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️  

🤔 What Really Motivates You at Work? I think you’d be surprised at how many conversations I have each month with clients who feel stalled, bored, or frustrated with their jobs. But it also feels paralyzing to start the process of figuring out what might be next – especially when you’re already working full-time. Rather than try to take all that on: maybe you could just start with this article?

🔎 Career Coaching? I continue to be surprised as to where my coaching takes me. I just finished with a long-term (9 years) corporate client last month, and in turn just added two new career coaching clients in the last two days... who reached out to me! I don't quite know what is going on, but I now have THIRTEEN individual coaching clients right now. I sense there are a lot of people out there looking for a change or just wondering if this is all there is. If that fits for you or someone you know, feel free to reach out for complementary 30-minute conversation.

😕 Why so many of us feel lonely at work. I'm including this recommendation because it puts into words some of the things clients are saying to me. It's a 32-minute long podcast episode and could provide some insights for you as to what you are feeling. This short article from FastCompany may reinforce the new truth for some that "work is not your family."

✍🏾 Esther Perel Journaling Prompts. I am a very big fan of her weekly podcast and also receive her monthly newsletter. I have slowly been compiling all of the questions from her newsletters into one document. Here's the link to those if you want to have journaling prompts that will carry you for several months if not years!

🌪️ Fighting Perfectionism, Stop Fearing Boredom. OK, maybe it is a little random to put those two statements together. But they are the first two episodes in a series of conversations that I am enjoying so far on The Happiness Lab. It sounds like this season is addressing some compulsive behaviors that we can tend to fall into, and they are done in an engaging and accessible way. Check them out.

📘 The Daily Reset. This is a random little book I found recently that I am using as part of my morning ritual to prepare for my day. It is simple, but so far has provided some interesting reflections.

Again, thanks for reading. Please feel free to pass this page along to a friend or colleague. Send an email to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me with questions, comments or feedback. I'll end with these words...

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit." — Will Durant

My Top Posts for 2023: Do they tell us anything?

Perhaps in the spirit of Spotify Wrapped, I decided to check my most viewed posts on LinkedIn for 2023. It helps me to see what gets people's attention, but it also instructs me as a coach, consultant, teacher, mentor, and information nerd!

So here are my five most frequently viewed posts on LinkedIn -- I sense a theme... 🤔:

① How (and why) you should create a backup plan for your career. This was not only most viewed post, but it was viewed more than the next nine posts added together!! And I will confirm that job dissatisfaction / frustration / boredom was a repeated theme with a sizable number of my clients. In a recent conversation with one of my clients, where I encouraged him to update his LinkedIn profile, he said, "I thought you only needed LinkedIn when you needed to look for a job." I quickly responded with several points related to the power of #networking, #visibility and #professionaldevelopment. Those are all reasons as well for why I recommended this article. So if you haven't read it yet, join the thousands who did!

② How to handle feeling overworked. I led a discussion on this #podcast with a team earlier this fall. The title describes it well. If you're feeling #overwhelmed and/or #overworked, take 40 minutes to listen to it. 

③ No one taught me the importance of managing up—here’s why you may need to be your boss’ boss. I just had three conversations this week about this very topic. Shaping the expectations of your supervisor is so important to how you are managed and perceived. Key quote: "So, now, I don’t shy away from managing up. I no longer think of 'managing up' as impolite. I think about it as advocating for my #career."

④ What Color Is Your Parachute? 2022: Your Guide to a Lifetime of Meaningful Work and Career Success. (See the #1 most frequently viewed post!) This book gets updated every year, so no doubt the new 2024 edition should be released soon. Again, it just cannot hurt to lay the groundwork for a career change before you need one.

⑤ A compelling quote. My "LinkedIn Wrapped" review will end with this tremendous thought: 

“I sit here, and I know where I am. This is very important. We tend to be alive in the future, not now." Thich Nhat Hanh #selfcare #presence

Thanks for reading, and for joining me on the journey this year. See you in 2024!

October 2023: Happiness, How-to's, Hidden Potential

🤔 Using ChatGPT to Make Better Decisions. As I inch my way in to understanding and using #AI more, I plan to share the articles I find most useful. This quote captures the value of this article: "...while it may be tempting to merely ask ChatGPT for answers, the real power of LLMs is how they can assist at each stage [of #decisionmaking]." Much of my #coaching involves listening to my #clients and helping them figure out what are the true issues they are dealing with, so this resource becomes a valuable option to work through a complex question or concern. (PS I prefer ClaudeAI to ChatGPT)

🤡 Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy. Before you give a hard pass on this, hear me out. This is not a discussion about the emotion of being happy; it's about finding happiness, AKA "fulfillment" or "meaning," in life. Big difference! I will be the first to admit that a) this is a l-o-n-g interview, so I recommend breaking it up, and b) I often find Tim Ferriss annoying (skip the section where Tim fanboys Brooks' fitness 🙄)... Nevertheless, there is tons of good content that goes in several different directions and is very thought-provoking.

🌎 How to Influence Across Cultures. I have mentioned on this blog before that much of my work involves connecting with clients in many other countries. I have learned a great deal in the last several years about what it takes to work across cultures. I have also mentioned previously here that I have benefited greatly from Erin Meyers' research found in her book The Culture Map, and have repeatedly recommended her interview on Armchair Expert. Another interview in that vein (a bit more sedate than Dax Shepard on Armchair and entirely business-focused) can be found on the episode of Coaching for Leaders that I have linked here. I am bringing this up again because the applications I gained from these resources are more pertinent than ever today as we continue to expand globally (and virtually) in how work is done.  While I’m at it, I also recommend this brief article on the distinct differences in meaning between the terms “multi-cultural,” “cross-cultural,” and “intercultural.”

💤 How to slow down and find some meaningful rest. I wish I'd kept count of the hundreds of times I have had conversations with clients and friends about fatigue and the need for rest. It is a constantly recurring theme, to say the least. I highly recommend this link of an interview on slowing down and the seven forms of rest that we actually need. While you're at it, take the Rest Quiz mentioned in the conversation, which I have recommended before. Heck, if you want to keep pondering this topic, here is an article this week from New Yorker magazine as well. I like the lede: "Requiring rest, rather than work, is still a radical idea."

✅ Hidden Potential Assessment. If you have worked with me, you know I like useful assessments, and if you've read at least a few of my blog posts, you know I appreciate the work of Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist who seeks "to explore the science of making work not suck" (his own description). He has a new book coming out - here's the blurb: "His latest book, Hidden Potential, explores how to build the skills and structures to achieve greater things, and how to create opportunities for those who have been overlooked. We can all improve at improving – and when opportunity doesn’t knock, there are ways to build a door." That concept of "constant improvement" intrigues me. He's lecturing here in Santa Barbara on November 16 and I plan on going. (PS If you take the assessment, share your results with me and I'll share mine!)

❓Team-Building Question for the Month. As I said last month, I strongly suggest using creative ice-breaker questions on a consistent basis to help create a warmer, fun, collegial, maybe even mildly vulnerable work vibe. One team I work with calls this exercise "Thursday Thoughts" on their Teams thread and they have agreed to respond within 24 hours once the question is posted. Here is a question for the month: 

What's the last thing that made your face light up?
(Yes, like, really excited when you talked about it.)

My response:
I got to go to the Coldplay concert at the Rose Bowl last weekend. Singing loudly with 60,000 others is a good thing to do every once in awhile!

✍🏾 Journal Prompt for the Month. I take time every morning to journal. I don't write a ton on most days, but I try to take a few minutes each time to check in on myself: Anything staying with me from the day before? Anything on my mind about what I'm heading into today? How is my body feeling? What am I thinking about? This practice helps me prepare for my day by becoming present, and addressing anything that might interfere with my interactions with others.

I coach nearly every client to consider doing this, so I want to include a journal prompt here each month to get you started:

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

The link I've included sends you to the folder of journal prompts I make available to clients, if you need more ideas.

Thanks for reading ~ feel free to share this with a friend or co-worker. Send questions or feedback to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!

January 2023: Reading, Reflection and Revving Up

I don't know about you, but I'm having a bit of a hard time getting going again after the long break. Part of it could be the dark and dreary days of late (that's right, Santa Barbara is actually having weather recently, with many days of rain and overcast, which we certainly need), but I am guessing part of it is also how the holidays fell this year, which allowed for consecutive long weekends, about which I am NOT complaining!

But it is time to get started, and I am hoping that writing this post will assist me in revving up for 2023! I hope it proves the same for you. 

+ + + + + + + + +

💥 Word of the Year Generator. There is nothing magical or prophetic about this. It is just a fun exercise to jump start your vision and strategy for 2023. My word was “Inspire” ~ I’ll take it! I spent some time in my journal considering how I might gain inspiration in the coming year, and how I might inspire others.

I passed it along to a few friends… one received the word “Yes!” and she loved it. Another received “Burn” and that was energizing for her: what might she burn down this year? What fires her up?

Yet another received the word “Work.” Nope! She didn’t want that one… the second was “Youth” - no connection for her there. Then she got “Surprise” and that worked. Again, no rules here. Just have fun with it, see if it sparks something for you and pass it along to others.

✅ Best Productivity Apps for 2023. This may feel like I am talking out of both sides of my mouth because I am a huge fan of the authors Oliver Burkeman and Walter Brueggemann, who both say that we need to focus far less on productivity and much more on being present and mindful. I could not agree more.

Nevertheless, I am also realistic that each of us are responsible for getting work done, and many of the apps described here are helpful in self-organizing and prioritizing. These words from the article put it well: 

The problem: productivity is deeply personal, and the words "productivity tools" mean a lot of different things to different people. What works for you may or may not work for me, which is why—after over a decade of writing about productivity software—I don't really believe there are objectively "best" productivity apps… Just remember: the specific app doesn't matter. The best productivity app is the one that works best for you. The most important thing is having a system.

⏰ Wake Up Your LinkedIn Profile. I often coach people who need help finding a new job or even a new career. One of the many key elements in that process is starting / improving / refining / maintaining your LinkedIn profile and presence.

First of all: I highly recommend working on your profile before you need to find a job. No doubt you are discouraged and exhausted when that time to transition comes, and the creative juices are often squeezed out by fear and stress. So please make a resolution to work on LinkedIn proactively and consistently, not just when you need to look for a job... you just never know :) Here are three links I recommend:

• Thirteen LinkedIn Banners and Examples
• How to Get Noticed on LinkedIn ~ Coaching for Leaders podcast
• 31 LinkedIn Tips to Make Your Profile Shine

📚 What Did I Read // What Am I Reading? I have mentioned here before that I am a recovering English major, so I am a BIG reader. (I also have Input as my #5 talent in StrengthsFinder). I have a few friends who are frustrated with me that I do not read fiction... I don't have big explanations for this other than perhaps I burned out on having to read two books a week throughout four years of college, the majority of which was fiction? ANYWAY, here are my top five favorite books from 2022, though it is difficult to narrow it down:

1. 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. I am relentlessly pumping up this book by Oliver Burkeman (as I have done so previously on this blog). So, so good. It really made me reflect on my fierce focus on productivity and how that is unhealthy in so many ways. I can say I feel changed by this book.
2. On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Getting Old. One of the favorite authors of my life is Parker Palmer, and he does not disappoint here. I initially was not interested in this book because he was writing from his 80 year-old perspective, and I did not think I was in that mindset yet. But I was humbled to realize that I should not wait until I'm 80 to think back (and forward) on my life --- DUH. 
3. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself. I feel like the title says it all. I recommend this book to so many clients and when the 25th anniversary edition came out this year, I decided to read it again. Gulp. This book kicked my ass, plain and simple.
4. Calypso. Few writers make me laugh out loud like David Sedaris. His stories, especially about his family, are hilarious, and yet sometimes also a punch in the gut. Who needs fiction when I can read stuff like this?!
5. How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question. My favorite show streamed during COVID was The Good Place, and after I finished it I became borderline obsessed with the ideas behind the show and with its creator, Mike Schur. When I heard about this book, which emerged from his work on the show, I snapped it up. His goal was to write a book about philosophy that his teenage children would understand, and that was perfect for me! Check it out.

What Am I Reading? I am almost always working on a few books at a time, so here goes:

• Sabbath as Resistance: Saying No to the Culture of Now. Remember, I mentioned Walter Brueggemann earlier. This book is a stunner. I'm trying not to rush through it. 
• Writers and Their Notebooks. I think I read more about writing than do much actual writing. Oh well. I find this book super interesting. And it's easy to pick up and just read for a few minutes.
• Talent: How to Identify Energizers, Creatives and Winners Around the World. I have not officially started this one, but it's in the hopper. I work with several clients regarding recruiting, interviewing and retention, and this is apparently *the* book of the moment in that arena. Stay tuned.

⁇ 🤔 Questions for the New Year. I will end with this. As I mentioned in last month's post, I am a big fan of journaling, and a great resource for journaling prompts is the therapist Esther Perel. Here are her New Year's prompts:

What are your associations with the “new year”?

Does the promise of new beginnings motivate you?

Does the conclusion of the previous year stress you out?

Do you prefer to bring in the new year dancing with others or in quiet contemplation with yourself? Why?

What area of your life could use more structure?

What area of your life could use more spontaneity?

As I said, I hope these recommendations rev you up for 2023. Thanks for reading -- feel free to pass this along to a friend or coworker. And please send questions or feedback, or set up a free 30-minute consultation, at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers! 

July 2022: Time to Course Correct?

As I noted in my May post two months ago, I have spent this "Summer of Slow" recovering from my broken ankle. During the 4th of July weekend I had some extra time to take stock of how I was doing mentally as this process kept unwinding and had to face the fact that I was somewhere between "struggling" and "surviving." I recognized that I need to rally and somehow find the resolve to move into thriving if I was going to recover adequately. Obviously, this is easier said than done, but through a concerted pursuit of journaling, reading, reflecting, talking with trusted friends, and some prayer, I feel the clouds starting to part. 

These resources below are resonant with this pivot -- how can each of us regroup and find new strength and direction in the midst of so many personal and global challenges? I hope you find them encouraging and stimulating.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Thoughtful description of how life has felt since March 2020. The majority of my client conversations revolve around how much life has changed since the pandemic, both personally and professionally. With those changes, not all of which have been bad, there have been some deep losses. This newsletter post captures some of the sorrow that accompanies those losses, and how to work through your sadness productively so that you can move forward.

Let’s Redefine the Role of Manager. I’m assisting in management training with two different companies, plus 1:1 with some individual clients. I believe this brief podcast captures how much the role of manager has changed due to several factors: the pandemic (obviously), generational changes in how people view work, advances in technology, to name a few. The deeper dive on this question is found in this article, written by the same person interviewed in this podcast: Managers Can’t Do It All. I strongly suggest you review these two resources if you are an executive, so you can get a very clear sense of what your managers are dealing with... and if you're a manager, I hope you'll appreciate how these capture your reality.

Tracking my stress at work actually helped my productivity. I liked this article because it not only proposes an idea, but walks the reader through the steps to apply it. I would be interested to hear if you apply it and find it helpful.

Understanding anxiety —and its surprising upside. Coupled with the article above, this interview helps us to reorient and try to move, as I stated above, from surviving to thriving. (PS I recommend this podcast overall -- the host consistently interviews fascinating people and touches on some truly thought-provoking topics). This article, It’s time to reframe our thoughts around anxiety. Here’s how to use it productively, is a good companion to the podcast in that it interviews the same neuroscientist, so the content gets reinforced and outlined.

The Big Winners and Losers From the Remote Work Revolution. This is a pretty darn interesting discussion and very different from other conversations I’ve listened to on remote work.  The core question they talk about: what is the “job” of the office?

"The average American has only been to 5 of these places, how about you?" This one is purely for fun. Though I am happy to say that I've been to twenty of these places. But then again, I have no idea why these particular sites are on the list.

Thanks for reading -- share it with a friend or co-worker. And please feel free to send questions and feedback to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Onward and upward.

March 2022: Are We There Yet?

 George Takei (Sulu from Star Trek) posted this on Twitter today:

These past two years have been the longest decade ever.

I could not agree more. Just when we thought Omicron was winding down and COVID-19 was moving from pandemic to endemic stage... we are here, with the first ground war in Europe since WW2. I include this photo simply because it made me smile in the midst of so much sad news. This is the author Margaret Atwood at a protest in Toronto. Between her cat beanie, the Ukraine flag and her impish smile, I was encouraged.

I share this month's links and recommendations with the hope that you will find them motivating, useful, and enlightening:

🌎 The Culture Map. I've recommended this book before... it is currently on sale for cheap on #Kindle (don't delay -- it probably won't last long). I have a small number of tools I use with clients to assist with #leadershipdevelopment and #managementconsulting. This one is in the top three for me. I recommend it HIGHLY.

⏳ We Need Time to Rehabilitate from the Trauma of the Pandemic. Anecdotally, my conversations with several clients verify the recommendations in this article as they start returning to the office, or even just meet together for a 2-3 day meet-up to reconnect. We need to ease back in carefully and intentionally. Also, this one: 6 red flags your body is breaking down from overwork. It is crucial to be mindful of how we are doing. Take a peek at the six red flags and see if any of them apply to you. Why not?

🗣 Interview questions you should be asking if the job is remote. Good questions for both interviewers and interviewees. I have sent this to some clients who are in the job hunt and think they want to find a remote position; I encourage them to really think through their responses. All of the questions are spot on, but questions 6, 7, and 8 are especially insightful. If you are having to shift your team to remote status for the foreseeable future, I recommend using all these questions to set up clear expectations for your collaboration moving forward.

😱 At what age does mental speed slow? OK, maybe I noticed this one because I turned 61 last month... according to this article, it doesn't look so good for my team! 😳 However, I got this one from a client and thankfully it is a bit more optimistic: When Working Harder Doesn’t Work, Time to Reinvent Your Career. This one is a thoughtful spin on the midlife crisis. Make sure to read it.

❤️‍🩹 It's Your Friends Who Break Your Heart. This is a long read, but a worthy subject. So many good insights that were so helpful to read. It gave me hope that I'm not crazy when I think about some of my failed friendships. It also explains why our relationships have suffered during the pandemic.

🙈 And now for something utterly random... From Gretchen Rubin: "One group of product researchers argue that, when it comes to texture preferences, people fall into four groups: chewers, crunchers, suckers, and smooshers. Check out table 4 to find out your texture preference. Apparently, I’m a “smoosher.” I love that word, and I love soft, spreading food textures—Greek yogurt is one of my favorite foods." Personally, I am also a smoosher. Chocolate pudding and cool whip are favorites of mine. Use this article at your next team meeting for a unique (and hilarious?) icebreaker.

❝ ❞Final thoughts. I read this recently from Ryan Holiday:

Don’t work for the external rewards. Because they will not come. Or worse, what does come will not be a reward at all. Instead, do your work because it’s right. Because it’s who you are. Because the alternative is even more unthinkable.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to forward this to friends and colleagues. Send ideas, questions and feedback to me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

Sept 2021: Try to Have More Good Days

Most of my conversations with clients these days are something like this: "These past 18+ months have felt like running a marathon... yet when we approach the finish line, someone pops out and says, "KIDDING! You have 15 more miles to go! Dig deep, tiger." And then our natural response is to the effect of, "But I've already given it everything I've got -- I've got nothing left." 😩

Sadly, we are all figuring out ways to dig deeper and work out of reserves we didn't think we necessarily had. This month's resources are all related to those reserves. I hope you find them helpful.

🤔 Rethinking Our Relationship with Work (Back to Work, Better).  This quote from the podcast could be on a t-shirt regarding the pandemic:“This has been a big reset moment for each of us.” It provides an excellent discussion on purpose and fulfillment and also on mental health. I also greatly appreciated the exploration of the difference between “meaning” and “happiness.” I suggest that business leaders use this podcast with their teams to keep thinking through strategies for team-building and strategies for resilience as we press on through the pandemic.

☕️ The one habit you need to have more good days. I can't say I knew what a "keystone habit" was before I read this article, but I am happy to say I have one: I dedicate 30-45 minutes each morning to reading and journaling (with a requisite large cup of coffee, of course!) to get centered for my day. The article sparks some ideas as to what your keystone habit could be.

🤯 We Need to Talk More About Mental Health at Work. This is a MUST READ for every employer. (Note that it was written 18 months before the pandemic.) I am having more and more conversations with clients on this topic, and have given several workshops to groups on stress management and resilience. I appreciate these words from the article: "Mental illness is a challenge, but it is not a weakness... Research has found that feeling authentic and open at work leads to better performance, engagement, employee retention, and overall wellbeing." Continuing on this theme, I also strongly recommend this article, When Your Employee Discloses a Mental Health Condition. It feels like the rules of the road for employee and performance management are changing day to day... here are some pertinent pieces of advice for leaders.

🎧 Brené on Day 2. I'm preparing this month's edition of "Podcast Club" (as opposed to Book Club) for one of my clients, and we landed on this podcast episode from exactly one year ago from Brené Brown on -- get this -- making it through the HALFWAY POINT of the pandemic! How ironic (and tragic!) is that?! This is how she describes it: "[This is] a conversation on one of my favorite subjects (and least favorite experiences): Day 2! It sounds easy enough, but Day 2 is no joke. It’s the messy middle – the point of no return. Join us as we talk about navigating what’s next and why it’s always best to stumble through the darkness together." I've developed a worksheet to use for discussions on this episode ~ or you can just bring me in to lead it. Contact me if you want more info.

❝❞ Quote for the month. I recently finished the book Leading: Learning from Life and My Years at Manchester United by Alex Ferguson and Michael Moritz. I was drawn to it by this endorsement from Tyler Cowen, an economist at George Mason University: "Short, but nonetheless one of the very best books on leadership and also talent search.  You also don’t have to know anything about soccer, or care about soccer.  Recommended, and this one supports my view that the best management books are about sports and music, not 'business management' in the mainstream sense of that term." I believe Ferguson perfectly summarizes the difference between management and leadership:

“I slowly came to understand that my job was different. It was to set very high standards. It was to help everyone else believe they could do things that they didn’t think they were capable of. It was to chart a course that had not been pursued before. It was to make everyone understand that the impossible was possible. That’s the difference between leadership and management.” P239

Hope you are able to have more good days this month. Please feel free to pass this post along to others, and contact me with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

January 2021: Reflection, Resources and Remote Work

Where do I begin? In some ways I have some genuine energy around the beginning of this new year. I found the Thursday through Sunday breaks of Christmas and New Year's almost magical this time around... truly restful. I set aside time for reflection and really processed this past nightmare, er um, 2020 year. I even did some goal-setting, although I'm trying to be realistic about how much one can predict as to what lies ahead.

So this month's set of recommendations and resources are pretty hefty. I have used all of them personally or with clients. You may want to bookmark this post ~ it's a bounty of interesting stuff. Happy 2021, friends. Let's be in it together. In a socially distant way, anyway...

Reflection. Like I said, I had some extra EXTRA time for reflection during this break thanks to no travel and a very quiet household. In other words, do not be daunted by this list. Just pick one or two of them. I definitely recommend looking backward before moving forward.

• 2020 Reflection Questions. I took some time to sit on these and review this year. Might be fun to share this with those close to you and see what they come up with. If you want to jumpstart some new journaling habits, you can also go here: https://bit.lyKSLDJournalPrompts  
• Adobe My Creative Types. Sure sure, we all like online quizzes, right? But this has some intriguing, out-of-the-box questions. My results were spot-on and I'm using them in conjunction with my Strengths Finder profile to assess how I'm approaching things this year. (PS I'm a "Thinker")
• BP 10 Assessment. This is an undersold tool created by Gallup. Especially if you are launching into a new endeavor or project (or want to assess if it's a good fit to do so), I recommend this tool. I also recommend that you process the results with someone to get the full impact. Talking about it somehow helps...
• A "21 for 21" list.  List twenty-one things you’d like to do by 2022. These items can be easy or ambitious; one-time undertakings or habits that stretch for years; fun or...less fun. I've barely started mine but want to keep building it.
• How to be a less-stressed leader. I just posted this on LinkedIn. Might be good to print out and place next to your desk?
• Low-stress New Year's resolution options. If all of this overwhelm you, here are some easy-peasy, low-impact ways to make some tangible steps. Be gentle with yourself.

Resources. I think because most of my clients have been working from home, there weren't as many distractions this year (little travel, no holiday parties), so I was working with people till December 30! So here are some of the tools I passed along to them this month. Buckle up!

• Talk Less. Listen More. Here's How. Favorite quote: "Listening is a skill. And as with any skill, it degrades if you don’t do it enough. Some people may have stronger natural ability while others may have to work harder, but each of us can become a better listener with practice."
• 100 Tips for a Better Life. I don't know if "better" is the right word -- perhaps "more efficient"? Nevertheless, super intriguing list.
• Better Ways to Manage Up and Out. HBR IdeaCast is a must-listen on my podcast list. This one is a great breakdown of the fuzzy concepts of soft power and how exactly to “manage up.” (PS Here's an earlier post of mine on how to manage up...)
• Use OKRs to Set Goals for Teams, Not Individuals. I thought this article did a good job delineating the management of teams vs individuals, and defining what are true *results*. Could be fodder for onboarding of new managers and/or an ongoing training conversation with experienced managers? 
• 7 Questions to Ask Yourself If You’re Thinking of Making a Career Change During COVID-19. Shhhhh... Quite a few people have reached out for help as they consider a job change. This might feel hard to do as you try to keep up with a demanding job, but a lot of folks are getting a chance to ask themselves, "Do I actually like what I'm doing?" These questions might seem obvious, but I think they guide a productive and fruitful start to your thought process. 
• Multi-Gen Workforce 2021 graphic. Graphics are well... simplistic. But this might be a handy reference for leaders and managers as we lead a very diverse workforce these days of Boomers, Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z. There is a Grand Canyon of differences between these generations in work style, attitudes, etc. I do a lot of "translating" for leaders and employees in my consulting because both parties want to tear their hair out at times. Here is a secret decoder ring :)

Remote Work #WFH. Yep. This is definitely a thing. We are in the wild, wild West of the workplace as we adjust and reorganize due to the pandemic. As many pundits are saying, this is just speeding up the inevitable. Here are few things to leverage as we keep adjusting and learning. To quote Billy Beane in Moneyball, "Adapt or die!"

• 8 Questions Every Manager Should Ask in One-on-One Meetings. Seems basic, but I recommend creating a template and tracking these questions month-to-month. Here's the document as a JPEG: https://bit.ly/1-1MgrQs 
• Where Did the Commute Time Go? Offers several insights, borne out as well by my work with clients, that caught my attention. The article also describes some possible responses to these changes as the pandemic starts to resolve.
• Pomodor app. Much of the conversation around remote work revolves around productivity. I think the question should shift to one of focus, and how to maintain motivation and momentum. This tool (hack?) is simple and practical, but it can be a powerful way to improve your productivity and focus. MANY of my clients are struggling during this pandemic to make deep, focused work happen consistently as they work from home and juggle multiple, daily zooms. This tool can block out distractions and articulate your intentions. It lets you set custom work and break times, track your work by labeling each session, and show or hide the timer in your browser’s menu bar. The app even works offline and syncs your stats across devices. Here is a graphic of how the Pomodoro approach works: https://bit.ly/KSLDPomodoroTool

Point to Ponder.

“If I was to sum up the single biggest problem of senior leadership in the Information Age,” four-star Marine Corps general and former secretary of defense James Mattis has said, “it’s lack of reflection. Solitude allows you to reflect while others are reacting. We need solitude to refocus on prospective decision-making, rather than just reacting to problems as they arise.”

Please feel free to reach out to me with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading! 

June 2020: Journey and Justice Edition

My goal is to hit "send" on my monthly blog posts by the 1st day of month. Nevertheless, my typical blog content seemed rather unimportant this past June 1, in light of the incredible turmoil our country was (and still is) experiencing. While this springtime journey through COVID-19 and quarantine has already been historic and life-altering, the new addition of George Floyd's murder and the resulting events have my heart and head still spinning.

Thus my content for this month will include the resources that are coming up most frequently in my conversations with clients, colleagues and friends. No doubt you are seeing everyone's recommendations scrolling through your feed... I hope my suggestions are enriching and lend even a small nugget of inspiration or insight.

Management Tools. As we start dipping our toes back into "opening up" or "returning from lockdown" or "Phase 2" or whatever confusing stage you find yourself in, there are far more questions than answers, especially for those teams who have unclear direction regarding best practices for the office. While some parts of the country are giving permission to some groups to return, many have significant hesitations: Do we want to spend the money required to maintain the new standards? What will our employees with children do, given that the majority of typical summer options are still unavailable? What if infection numbers spike again because states opened up prematurely and there was a lack of social distancing during the protests? Here are some resources that have been helpful in those discussions:

• Architecturally Speaking: Get Ready for the End of Open Office Plans. The subtitle to this article, which actually appeared in my local paper, might say it all: "How Companies Need to Change Their Office Design in the Face of COVID, Effective Immediately." Though it may feel daunting to even consider how to return, this article provides a good place to start.
• Onboarding a New Leader — Remotely. Despite remarkably bleak employment numbers nationally, I have had more than one client need to hire for some significant roles in their organization. Unfortunately, I've heard the phrase "I feel like I've been thrown into the deep end of the pool" too often. This article reminds you of the key elements to include when bringing someone on in the midst of such chaos.
• These 9 interview questions will set dedicated remote workers apart. More than one of my clients are genuinely considering how they might offer remote working options moving forward. I applaud this consideration; HOWEVER, I also strongly suggest that employers sharpen their pencils on what to look for if hiring for remote positions. Similar to online vs classroom education options, not everyone is a perfect fit for either one. One client I have is entirely comprised of a distributed, remote workforce, with employees around the world. Even they found these interview questions helpful. Take a look.
• GREAT QUESTIONS FOR EVERY LEADER DURING COVID-19. I sat through a webinar that was frankly tedious and way too upbeat at most points (thus I'm not recommending it!), but smack in the middle of it was a 10-minute snippet from one gentleman that really got me thinking. He encouraged every leader to ask themselves these three questions:

⇨ Do you see this time as a disruption or an interruption? Interruption would cause us to seek to go back to "normal." But how do you need to adjust and move forward?⇨ What is driving your decision-making? Fatigue? Fear? Strategy?⇨ How well-positioned are you for further pivots? Agility and ability are important.

Mental Health and Self-Care. While much of my work has included conversations around emotional intelligence, well-being and self-care, current circumstances have kicked up the temperatures of these conversations considerably. Not a week goes by now without at least one person in tears as they describe the confusion, disorientation and frustration we are all experiencing. While my goal is to assist people in developing resilience, I absolutely must start with listening and support. Here are some resources that put words to much of what we are going through:

• If You Feel Like You’re Regressing, You’re Not Alone. More than anything, this article made me say "YES!" out loud when I first read it. Here's a great teaser: "I see this war room fatigue in the leaders right now — and in their teams. It’s real and it is infectious, and it hits you like a hammer from one day to the next." Please set aside just a few minutes to read this one. It provides a very useful roadmap for leaders who might be feeling stuck (paralyzed?) and need some direction.
• Leading Through Grief in Life and Work. This podcast was moving, yet also quite helpful. It is an interview of a well-known restauranteur who endured the death of her sister and the loss of her restaurant in 2016. Poignant and wise.

No Justice, No Peace. I have been on the learning journey of peacemaking, community-building and reconciliation for my entire career. That being said, I am still learning. Some might be newer to this pilgrimage and wonder where to start learning. There are too many resources to list here, but these are good places to start:

• Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson. Remarkable book by a remarkable man. Read this book, then see the movie that came out in January. Then make a donation to eji.org.
• Strength to Love. These are a collection of sermons by Martin Luther King, Jr, compiled by his wife Coretta Scott King. I have used these sermons with students and interns, and they simply cannot believe these were written over 50 years ago, given their remarkable poignancy for our times (how sad is THAT?). Read them out loud if you can. 
• How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi. This book quickly sold out on Amazon in light of George Floyd, though it's still available on Kindle. Make sure you pay close attention as you read, because Kendi is going to make you work as he breaks down your preconceptions in order to hear a new and powerful perspective. While I did not agree with every word written, I absolutely loved the challenge of reading this book and engaging his ideas. Brene Brown also recently interviewed the author here.
• Movies. SO MANY. Prioritize those made by black creators and artists: Selma, 13th, Harriet, When They See Us, Black KKKlansman, Get Out, Us. Where I am learning the most is realizing how much I need to make sure I am listening to the voices of other backgrounds, ethnicities, and perspectives, and not just those who speak from my own white and privileged experience.
• Make a plan. What is the next book, podcast or conversation in your queue? I've got With Head and Heart: The Autobiography of Howard Thurman. THEN plan on remaining on this learning journey the rest of your life. Make it a habit to read and access resources from voices different from your own ~ Read a book once a month. Listen to podcasts intended for diverse audiences. Learn how to engage in conversations around equity, diversity and inclusion. 

Thanks for reading. Feel free to send me questions or feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. And explore my leadership development resources at KSLD Resources. Be well!

Efficiency, Eating, Epitaphs, Education, plus an Extra: July 2019

2019 is halfway down and I've had a good year so far. I just finished teaching a great group of 22 law students from Santa Barbara & Ventura Colleges of Law in Strengths-Finders in order to equip them in soft skills and emotional intelligence. It was a great time and I continue to learn from every group I'm with. I love my work!

I've got an eclectic (sticking with the E theme in the title, get it?!) assortment of resources for this month. ENJOY!

10 Famous Epitaphs: The Good, the Bad, and the Weird. This weekend as I taught I shared at one point from the classic book, Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I continue to benefit from Habit #2, which is "Begin with the end in mind." Every time I refer to this habit, I always remind people, "What do you want to have said on your tombstone?" In other words, how do you want to be remembered? So I found this collection of funny and poignant epitaphs and encourage you to use them as a prompt to reflect: How do you want to be remembered?

Time Blocking: Improve Your Focus And Get More Meaningful Work Done. Efficiency and time management continues to be favorite topic with clients. Here's another good idea if you need some help. Personally, I diligently follow this method described by Cal Newport, as quoted in this article:

“I take time blocking seriously, dedicating ten to twenty minutes every evening to building my schedule for the next day. During this planning process I consult my task lists and calendars, as well as my weekly and quarterly planning notes. My goal is to make sure progress is being made on the right things at the right pace for the relevant deadlines.”

African Leadership University.  I found this article in Fast Company magazine. It was super inspiring to me not only for what this leader is doing in Africa but for his ideas about the future of higher education. UH-MAZING. Don't skip it.

I love to COOK and EAT! I have decided to add one of my favorite recipes each month to my posts because that is a big part of my life that I want to share with you. Feel free to share your recipes with me as well. This recipe, Gallo Pinto (known elsewhere as Arroz Negrito), is a winner and can be used for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I like to add some shredded chicken in it if I'm eating it for dinner, and it just gets better as leftovers. It is also a home run with eggs as well. KEY INGREDIENT: chicken broth instead of water!

EXTRA Resource: "It's OK to be a Late Bloomer." Many of my conversations with clients rotate around the tension between pursuing a career and finding your purpose, between burnout and stress management, between when to persist and when to pivot. This interview is a great encouragement to parents of high school or college students, but also those who feel like they are either stalled in their career or having a hard time even getting started. I highly recommend it.

Final thought for the month:

All great spirituality is about what we do with our pain. If we do not transform our pain, we will transmit it to those around us. (Richard Rohr)

Thanks for reading. Feel free to share with a friend, colleague or boss. Reach out to me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Happy July!

Transaction vs Transformation

Anyone who has sat through one of my presentations knows I will eventually quote Richard Rohr, one of my favorite authors. Rohr is a Franciscan monk who writes powerfully and persuasively on so many things, and especially on how to be a good neighbor and live lives of grace, generosity, and mercy. (You can learn more about Rohr here.)

I am a news junkie: I read two papers online each day, listen to several podcasts each week, read
multiple articles on Twitter... you get the picture. Yet I have noticed that I found daily anger building as I continued to note the deep divides in our country, and recognize the abysmal ways we talk about and treat one another. Rohr has coached me in how to self-regulate and move in a healthier direction:

The Jewish scholar, Martin Buber (1878-1965, pictured here), said that the modern world has mostly entered into an I-it relationship with reality, when we were in fact created for a constant I-Thou relationship. The I-Thou relationship is an attitude of reverence and mutuality in which we encounter people, things, and events as subject to subject, knowing and being known, giving and receiving, tak­ing insofar as we can also surrender. In this fully mature state, those in I-Thou relationships refuse to objectify anything or anyone, but always allow things and people to be a fellow subject—even those they might dislike.

I like this for a multitude of reasons, but especially because it captures the essence of what I want to spend the rest of my life doing: assisting people in understanding how to live transformationally, not transactionally.

HOW to do that requires far more than a blog post or twenty. If you want to explore this further, I would strongly recommend Rohr's book to you titled Falling Upward. I also really value a book by Parker Palmer titled Let Your Life Speak. 

Can we all try to commit to pursuing I-Thou relationships, be they casual or deep, at work or at home and especially online? This is not a quick fix, I know. But I invite you to consider how you might slow down and engage, seeking to understand before being understood. 

P.S. Perhaps this is an addendum, but I'm intrigued by an article I read today in the Washington Post regarding smartphone addiction and how there are actually new apps emerging to help us regulate our usage. That seems a bit ironic, but is probably the best way to address the problem!

Grab Bag for June 4, 2018

Between a ten-day trip to Hawaii for vacation (yes, we stayed in Volcanoes National Park, despite the craziness going on with Kilauea!) and a three-day speaking gig in Wisconsin, I have neglected this blog ever so slightly. Yet have no fear, I've continued to find a bunch of different resources, and I want to share a few with you. Buckle up!

Starting Salaries for 2018 grads. YOWZA! Here's some fascinating news from CNN Money. Things are looking up for current grads. I'll admit to some jealousy... when I graduated from college, interest rates were at 21% and my starting salary was not anywhere near today's levels. Then again, there was also no internet or cell phones... and I walked uphill, barefoot in the snow, both ways, to work....

Books That Bill Gates is Reading This Summer. I'm a complete sucker for these sorts of lists. I am also a passionate reader. Two books I just finished that I would recommend are Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover (I think I basically ready this in 24 hours... I could not put it down!) and Braving the Wilderness by Brené Brown. I'm hoping to read The Art of the Memoir by Mary Karr and The Cross and the Lynching Tree by James Cone this summer. Tell me what books you are reading!

When Work Takes Over Your Life. I am not wild about Adam Grant's voice (OK, I'm picky), but I really enjoy this podcast. This particular episode was very good, and I have recommended it to several clients. Another podcast I would recommend: Revisionist History by Malcolm Gladwell. Nerd heaven.

Enterprise vs Entrepreneurial Leaders. I found this article to be really enlightening. I love helping people figure out their gifts and style of leadership. This one shed some new light on the subject.

How Compassion Can Make Your More Successful. Yep, I hate the title of this article. But the content is helpful. Think of it as another way to frame the value of team-building and emotional intelligence. Oh yeah - that's another book I'm reading: HBR's 10 Must-Reads on Emotional Intelligence. [Dork Alert!!]

Despite my slight cynicism over that last article's title, I'll end with this. Humbling and moving.

“To be a conscious person in this world, to be aware of all the suffering and the beauty, means to have your heart broken over and over again.”

-Sharon Salzberg

Work Hacks 3-25-18

Blame it on the combination of Maximizer (always seeking seek to transform something strong into something superb), Input (a craving to know more), and Achiever (They take immense satisfaction in being busy and productive) in my Top Ten for Strengths Finder,
but I read lots of newsletters, articles, and books. Information is nearly always interesting to me. (Then, maybe I'm just a giant nerd...)

In the last couple of weeks I've come across quite a few good resources and want to pass them along to others. Let me know if any of them were of interest or value to you.

Best Productivity Apps for 2018. What better way to start this post?! I don't know if I even understand half of what these apps do, but they all look super cool. If you need some help with email, video editing, to-do lists, project management, writing, or want some new ways to get your new iOS or Android device to do even more, cruise by this link.

Why You Need an Untouchable Day Every Week. Early in this article, this grabbed my attention: "As our world gets busier and our phones get beepier, the scarcest resource for all of us is becoming attention and creative output. And if you’re not taking time to put something new and beautiful out into the world, then your value is diminishing fast." Like me, if you need some ideas on how to get some chunks of time set aside to focus and do some creative work, this was helpful for me.

Do you plog? I won't even explain what this means. Just read it. It convinced me to try it, and I liked it. Go crazy.

The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage. I'm a bit of a sucker for TED Talks, but this one is especially good. Two excellent quotes:

"Rigid denial doesn't work. It's unsustainable, for individuals, for families,  for societies... and for our planet. When emotions are pushed aside or ignored, they get stronger."

 "Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life."

This TED talk is an outstanding, genuine, poignant discussion of emotions, stress and the management of it all. 

This is How to Improve Your Interviews. I have two clients right now who are struggling with employee retention. This is a competitive job market right now, and I find that those new to the workforce are easily lured by some of the bright shiny objects that larger firms dangle in front of them. Some of these tips might seem obvious, but they are good reminders. 

How to Beat Decision Fatigue with Better Brain Habits. Yep, you read that right. Maybe you don't realize you're burning out from too many decisions, but this article might help you discern if you are. I find that work piles up incrementally, to the point where I don't realize I'm drowning until I'm halfway under. This comes from Trello, which I use for my project management.

Introvert or Extrovert? There's a Third Option. Before I comment, just bookmark this blog. It is GOLD. She talks about real, important stuff but in a very down-to-earth way.

Here's a solid line from the article:

“knowing your type when it comes to personality is important, because by increasing our awareness of where we stand in terms of introversion and extroversion, we can develop a better sense of our tendencies, manage our weak spots, and play to our strengths.”

I have found that developing my self-awareness really helps me as a leader. Not only does it help me get out of the way when working with others, it also helps me read others more accurately. Check it out.

Closing thoughts...
I spent 27 years of my adult life working daily with teenagers. The stories coming out of Parkland and beyond, have reminded me why I loved working with them so much. One sign is especially staying with me: “Graduations, not funerals!” Regardless of where we fall on various issues, may we all have the patience, fortitude, and grace to listen well to our neighbors, grow in empathy, and look for ways to understand.

Thursday Thinking 3-8-18

I came across these quotes this week that have really stayed with me:

Oscars 2018

"...with Coco we tried to take a step forward towards a world where non-white children can grow up seeing characters in movies that look, and talk, and live like they do. Representation matters, marginalized people deserve to feel like they belong and I hope that we made a difference and I hope it's just the beginning. Muchas gracias." 

This came from the acceptance speech Lee Unkrich in response to receiving an Oscar for Best Live Animated Feature, for the film Coco. I saw this film when it came out with a cross-section of Anglo and Latino friends, and we wept big soggy tears in the last several minutes, but with smiles on our faces too. I can verify that my friends of Mexican descent whom I sat with that night indeed cherished this rare opportunity to see themselves and their heritage celebrated so beautifully. Like Unkrich, I too hope it's just the beginning.

Advancing Women in Leadership 2018

"If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together."

Apparently an African proverb, this was quoted by Jo Saxton, a self-described "Nigerian Brit" who was a keynote speaker for this conference that I attended this past Monday. Saxton is a truly inspiring leader and a force to be reckoned with. I look forward to hearing more from her.

This quote captures so much of what it means for me to lead. Rather than try to go it alone, I have found it is always better to build a team and a community. I have often found this to be more possible with other women, who tend to want to lead collectively and collaboratively. The conference was a good day of content, networking, and encouragement. Plus I enjoyed leading two breakout sessions on mentoring in the 21st century.

The World's Deepest Problems

"What, after all, are the world's deepest problems? They are what they always have been, the individual's problems--the meaning of life and death, the mastery of self, the quest for value and worth-whileness and freedom within, the transcending of loneliness, the longing for love and a sense of significance, and for peace. Society's problems are deep, but the individual's problems go deeper; Solzhenitsyn, Dostoyevsky, or Shakespeare will show us that, if we hesitate to take it from the Bible."

This comes from J.I. Packer, and landed in my inbox through a daily email called "The Christian Quotation of the Day." I won't deny that they frequently fall flat for me, but occasionally a lovely one appears. I liked this one because I appreciated the way Packer plainly states the big existential questions of life, in a way that caught my attention. And I'm still left pondering his contrast between individual and society's problems: do I agree with him? Not sure.

Representation Matters

“I remember reading, Marian Wright Edelman, and she was actually writing about children, and it hit me, in relation to kids, and for women as a whole, where she says, 'you can’t be what you can’t see.' If you don’t see it, you wonder if there’s something wrong with you, something's presumptuous, something arrogant about you for wanting it in some way. I think women have a complicated relationship with ambition anyway."

Resonant with the first quote by Lee Unkrich, this was quoted by Jo Saxton (I know, the connections between my quotes in this post run amok) during a podcast interview with Jen Hatmaker that I listened to today. I really connected with Saxton's words regarding the contradictory messages that women receive regarding leadership. We are so often asked to be responsible for things, but just as often are deprived of the fruits of those efforts. And if we press forward and still ask for opportunities and recognition, we are often snubbed or shut down. I appreciated the dialogue of this episode and still hope for change...

What are you reading and hearing?