November 2022: Ruts, Rest, and Remote Work

I always have ambitions of posting something at the beginning of each month. Yet here it is November 10... I'm never entirely sure where the time goes, but better late than never.

I am happy to report that one of the reasons that the start of November caught me a bit by surprise was that I got to go on vacation from October 22-29 to Sun Valley, Idaho. My best friend and I, who are great travel buddies, stayed in the guest house of a friend of hers and other than the shock of a 40+ degree temperature difference, the time there was fantastic. I came back rested and refreshed, and the only regret was that I had to do a bit of scrambling upon my return as I had so much to catch up on. Thus the delay in getting this out....

The view from the back of the guest house
(and no, I did not use the tub!)

Nevertheless, here are my most-used recommendations for the month. These especially found a lot of traction with clients. Enjoy!

♥️ Hygge Cards. I’ve used this with friends, but also with teams who already know each other a bit. I had one client call these “palate cleansers” during meetings, when things need to shift between topics during busy, topic-filled tactical work together. Another client used them on a staff retreat to warm up the group. I could see them also being valuable as a way to get a team (especially one working remotely) to socialize a bit more in a less-threatening way.

⛏️ How to Get Out of a Rut. A quick but worthwhile blog post from one of my favorite authors, #OliverBurkeman. #productivity #patience #resilience P.S. I highly recommend subscribing to his newsletter.

😴 The Nap Bishop is Spreading the Good Word: Rest. Here is a podcast interview with the “nap bishop” as well. Y'all, this has been on heavy rotation with several people I am working with. Sure, we have all been hearing about the need for more rest in these stressful times. But I tell you what, this has some really new, really thought-provoking insights in regard to our need for rest. If you can only pick one of this month's recommendations, pick this one.

☮️ How 30 Days of Kindness Made Me a Better Person. Full disclosure, I have not done this yet. But I find it intriguing and encouraging. And here are the 30 days of challenges.

🖥 What Great Remote Managers Do Differently. I am juggling three different management training projects right now. This is clearly a huge need in the workplace, especially as we keep wading through the waters of hybrid, remote, layoffs, retention, quiet quitting, you name it. Great quote: “So what managers do remains the same; it’s the how that changes.” This article really highlights a huge shift in management – it is much more focused on people management and not just process management.

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“Especially after COVID-19 forced us all to slow down a bit, I found myself questioning for the first time ever why (and for whom) I and my peers are working so hard — often to the detriment of our mental and physical health — and how that can not only be normalized, but also glorified,” Devon Gates, 21, said. (from Nap Bishop article) 

 

October 2022: Reflect, Resolve, Remote, Recover

I found this illustration humorous -- of course in part because I am a devoted cat owner (shout out to 7 month-old kitten #Otisthecat) but also because I think we all tend to overcomplicate things. My hope is that this blog provides some hacks each month for you to help you wade through the noise and find some simpler solutions to complex issues. So here goes!

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🛠 How to Build a New Leadership Identity. I like this article because it captures some of the tension between transitioning from being an #individualcontributor to becoming a #manager and #leader. Do you have a "leadership identity"? If so, how did you discover and learn to define it?

⏳ Your Career Is Just One-Eighth of Your Life. Here are five pieces of career advice from a reliable source (Derek Thompson at the Atlantic - his podcast Plain English is also on regular rotation for me). Number Four on his five pieces of advice is the one I've especially taken to heart this year. And should you be in a reflective mood about your career and want to delve further, I also recommend this blog post, A Tale of Two Funerals. 

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If you find yourself at a crossroads professionally - you're hitting mid-life, you wonder if you're a good fit, you feel stuck... please go to my calendar and set up a one-time complimentary meeting so we can talk through your coaching options. I have just assembled a "coaching bundle" of various processes that could help you get started in a new direction.

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📉📈 When Success Isn't Success. I’ve had this conversation recently with a couple of people. I have found that an upside (perhaps the only one?!) of the pandemic has been that people have been drawn to the #existentialquestions of life – why am I here? what is my purpose? what is the meaning of life? This podcast certainly doesn’t solve those questions, but the conversation about it all here is very engaging.

🥊 Need Help with Conflict Resolution? I recently surveyed 75 of my clients, both past and present, and one of the things I asked was what specific issues do they need help with now. One of the most frequent responses I received was #conflictresolution. This article won't solve this struggle, but it gives some good baseline principles from which to start. #howtoargue #seektounderstand

🖥 Advice from the CEO of an All-Remote Company. I’ve worked virtually since 2010. I find that the reason #remotework is challenging is because we approach it the same way we do in-person work. Which makes no sense. I’m working hard to help leaders learn how to adapt effectively and think strategically in regard to working remotely. If you like this episode, you may find this article useful as well: 4 Myths about In-Person Work, Dispelled.

🤕 What's Your Grief? We experience all sorts of loss: the passing of loved ones; job loss; the end of a key friendship; the death of a treasured pet; even the disappointment of how much the world has changed since March 2020. This website is a good resource to get started on addressing your grief and loss, which has many layers of complexity. Here's a sample article: The Grief of Non-Death Losses. Additionally, here’s a podcast that provides a glimpse into counseling sessions on a variety of emotional issues: Dear Therapists.

What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while. 

–GRETCHEN RUBIN

Great reminder that our habits and routines matter.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to pass this along to others. 

I am in the midst of compiling some new training and coaching resources for clients after five years of dedicating my efforts full-time to KS Leadership Development, and would love to share them with you if you're interested. Again, just set up a one-time complimentary appointment with me at https://bit.ly/KSLDApptScheduler.  

September 2022: Searching

For those of you who have followed my delightful journey this summer as I recovered from a severely broken ankle, I am happy to report the largest screws have been removed (see above) and I am gamely working my way back into exercise and just walking in general. Let's just say that that is no joke. Sheesh. But I am definitely glad to be on the upswing. And I'm even driving my scooter again 🛵

Other than a day or two off after the surgeries, work carried on for me, and I was mostly grateful for the distraction it provided. Here are some things I used this past month -- hope you find them interesting and useful. As I look over them together, I see many different things we search for.

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👀 LOTS of info out there on the how-to's of job interviews. Phew…. between #TheGreatResignation and #QuietQuitting (and are those even real?!), how do you keep up on what’s happening in the job market?! Here are two interesting articles I came across:

• How to perform in an interview: I’m curious as to whether you have come across these questions in an interview lately? How interview questions are changing in 2022. #jobsearching #interviewtips
• How to conduct an interview: Intelligence is overrated. Here’s how to really spot someone who can succeed.

📋 Everything You Need to Know About "Stay" Interviews. Sure, we've all heard of exit interviews, but this is a new term to me. In the midst of some layoffs unfolding as our economy goes through some unpredictable ups and downs, "stay interviews" have already become pertinent with some clients. What do you think?

🙋🏽‍♀️ How to Get Noticed on LinkedIn. Thanks to my dear friend Rukshan Fernando, who sent me this #podcast episode from #CoachingforLeaders. Good basics on how to get started on #LinkedIn if you need ideas.

🦠 Many Americans say they have shifted their priorities around health and social activities during COVID-19. I am an information nerd in general, so I found this article very interesting, especially as it discussed what has become less important to people. If you like polls and data like this, I suggest you subscribe to Pew Research Newsletter. All the cool kids are doing it….

☮️ Why Can't We All Get Along? I have relied on #DavidLivermore for insights on #culturalintelligence and thought this article did a good job bringing his insights to our divisions here in the USA. I liked this quote: "The same skills that help us work effectively with colleagues on the other side of the world can help us talk with friends, family members, and coworkers about sensitive issues closer to home." #diversity #DEI

👩🏽‍🏫 Extremely helpful discussion on how and why to find a therapist -- and why it can be so hard. As someone who is NOT a therapist but often gets into significant discussions with clients around the issues of #stressmanagement, #mentalhealth and #wellbeing, I have learned how to assist people in finding therapeutic help. I especially liked this episode because it describes several of the hurdles one might need to overcome (insurance, availability, finding the right fit) in a way that helps someone stick with the search and not get discouraged. A must-listen!

🤪Absolutely random links. I saw these and just had to share them. They each are quite… interesting. I don't want to describe them because it will take away from the "WHAT??" impact:

• https://twitter.com/emikusano/status/1561333918858887168?s=20&t=Wq1-B9Uj5snbx42vnEvcn
• https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/426715
• https://www.abc27.com/community/wally-the-lebanon-co-based-emotional-support-alligator-gains-global-fame-but-still-makes-time-for-us/ Favorite quote: “Wally not only likes — but demands — kisses on the lips.”

August 2022: Stay the Course

In May I shared that I had broken my left ankle and that I was heading into a l-o-n-g recovery that I dubbed the "Summer of Slow." July 31st marked twelve weeks since my accident! There has been some good progress: I've moved from the leg scooter to crutches to a mere walking stick (without the boot), but my ability to walk is rather severely limited by two long screws that are still connecting my two leg bones to allow for healing. Thus I am counting the days (hours? minutes?) till they are removed on August 17. 

One upside of all this is that it has forced allowed more time for reading and reflection. So this month's set of recommendations are perhaps a bit more plentiful than usual. Last month I talked about "course-correcting" as I sought to move from surviving to thriving; this month I want to share some of the things I'm reading and learning about that are helping me to stay on that course. I hope they are beneficial to you as well!

🗺 Career Planning. Many people reach out to me for help in figuring out their next steps job-wise, especially during #TheGreatResignation (which some call the #TheGreatReassessment). But I am surprised to find that many if not most have not really done much career planning -- in other words, people know how to look for a job, but they may not have a definitive career path. This article is a good start - hit me up if you want or need more resources. #lookingforjob #lookingforchange

🔎 Managing Oneself. Perhaps that recommendation above could be "Part One" in your career map and this link could be "Part Two." Do not pass up this article when you see that it was written in 1999 ~ as one close friend told me, it is a gem 💎.  As stated in the intro, "This article challenges readers to take responsibility for managing their futures, both in and out of the office." The author, Peter Drucker, is someone you want to become familiar with if you are not already.

🗣 The 4 Most Important Voices for a Senior Leader. Here's a good inventory to use... as leaders we usually need to build a personal #boardofdirectors to cultivate and sustain long-term #growthmindset and #motivation. Do you have these four voices in your life?  #leadership #leaders

🎯 Marshall Goldsmith: The Essentials Of Leadership. A podcast interview that is a master class on leadership. I’ve referenced Marshall Goldsmith before, and this one is even better. 

🎧 Flourish FM podcasts. Excellent podcast series on the whole area of wellbeing, flourishing, meaning and purpose. I especially appreciated Episode #2 on the importance of meaning. The series is generated by research from the Harvard Flourishing Program. This has been a great resource for my own growth and learning on wellbeing.

🧨 Burnout: A thread on how it works and how to deal with it. This bubbled up on my Twitter feed and I found it enlightening.

⏳ The philosophy of middle age. I would say the top three topics that clients bring to me are: 1) management or leadership needs; 2) wellbeing; 3) mid-life crisis! This is a “you too?!” podcast discussion that I definitely recommend. They open by defining mid-life crisis as a “general malaise” and then discuss the feelings, options, etc.

💭 Pandemic reflections from an executive coach. I have to say that I resonate with most of his experience as described here: clients are re-evaluating when, where, and why they and their employees are now choosing to meet in person -- almost none of my clients are returning to their 2019 working arrangements, but they are enjoying occasional in-person meetings. Additionally, many are seeing the pandemic as a learning experience that enabled their organizations to become more flexible on a permanent basis… As I kept saying at the outset of all this, the pandemic did not create any of the issues we were facing, it only accelerated them. I imagine we'll be studying and reflecting on these years following March 2020 for years to come.

Thanks for reading -- is there someone who would benefit from reading this as well? As always, send feedback at questions to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.

July 2022: Time to Course Correct?

As I noted in my May post two months ago, I have spent this "Summer of Slow" recovering from my broken ankle. During the 4th of July weekend I had some extra time to take stock of how I was doing mentally as this process kept unwinding and had to face the fact that I was somewhere between "struggling" and "surviving." I recognized that I need to rally and somehow find the resolve to move into thriving if I was going to recover adequately. Obviously, this is easier said than done, but through a concerted pursuit of journaling, reading, reflecting, talking with trusted friends, and some prayer, I feel the clouds starting to part. 

These resources below are resonant with this pivot -- how can each of us regroup and find new strength and direction in the midst of so many personal and global challenges? I hope you find them encouraging and stimulating.

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Thoughtful description of how life has felt since March 2020. The majority of my client conversations revolve around how much life has changed since the pandemic, both personally and professionally. With those changes, not all of which have been bad, there have been some deep losses. This newsletter post captures some of the sorrow that accompanies those losses, and how to work through your sadness productively so that you can move forward.

Let’s Redefine the Role of Manager. I’m assisting in management training with two different companies, plus 1:1 with some individual clients. I believe this brief podcast captures how much the role of manager has changed due to several factors: the pandemic (obviously), generational changes in how people view work, advances in technology, to name a few. The deeper dive on this question is found in this article, written by the same person interviewed in this podcast: Managers Can’t Do It All. I strongly suggest you review these two resources if you are an executive, so you can get a very clear sense of what your managers are dealing with... and if you're a manager, I hope you'll appreciate how these capture your reality.

Tracking my stress at work actually helped my productivity. I liked this article because it not only proposes an idea, but walks the reader through the steps to apply it. I would be interested to hear if you apply it and find it helpful.

Understanding anxiety —and its surprising upside. Coupled with the article above, this interview helps us to reorient and try to move, as I stated above, from surviving to thriving. (PS I recommend this podcast overall -- the host consistently interviews fascinating people and touches on some truly thought-provoking topics). This article, It’s time to reframe our thoughts around anxiety. Here’s how to use it productively, is a good companion to the podcast in that it interviews the same neuroscientist, so the content gets reinforced and outlined.

The Big Winners and Losers From the Remote Work Revolution. This is a pretty darn interesting discussion and very different from other conversations I’ve listened to on remote work.  The core question they talk about: what is the “job” of the office?

"The average American has only been to 5 of these places, how about you?" This one is purely for fun. Though I am happy to say that I've been to twenty of these places. But then again, I have no idea why these particular sites are on the list.

Thanks for reading -- share it with a friend or co-worker. And please feel free to send questions and feedback to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Onward and upward.

June 2022: Summer Suggestions

If you read my previous post, you know that I have a little more time in my schedule these days to read and reflect (at least theoretically!). So just two weeks later, I already have a bundle of recommendations for you. 

Since the pandemic began, my clients have needed a steady stream of resources related to stress management and the many ways that COVID and world events have turned our worlds upside down. Despite the ongoing stream of bad news that seems to bubble up every other day, I do have a list of links that pertain primarily to a favorite topic of mine: #leadershipdevelopment. Please let me know if you find any of these useful!

⏱ How to Help an Employee Who Struggles with Time Management. This is very good - a much more holistic approach that doesn’t reduce the problem to just finding a new #productivity app. I especially like the way it challenges the manager to recognize how much their own communication and delegation matters. 

⏳ Best Time-Saving Google Assistant Tricks. I have a significant number of clients who are neurodivergent, meaning that they are on the autism spectrum, ADHD, dyslexia or a few other neurological diagnoses. Sometimes, these folks struggle with staying on task or losing track of time. I have shared this link with several of them and they have told me it has been helpful. Note that these tricks are also useful if you are someone who often engages in deep work or really gets into flow, yet still needs to keep track of commitments at times. Last but not least, here's a useful link on time blindness, which is something often experienced by those with ADHD. Even if you do not struggle with this, you might manage someone who does and it could be a great opportunity to dialogue about how to work within the constraints created by that.

🤷🏽‍♀️ Best Practices for Hiring Gen Z. Given the roller coaster ride we are currently on, I cannot tell if we are still in the Great Resignation or a recession or what!? Nevertheless, talent managers and leaders are experiencing new challenges almost daily as they try to figure out how to recruit new hires, manage expectations around remote and hybrid work, and retain valuable employees. I thought this article did a good job describing what it's like to recruit and hire new graduates. We really do need to become students of who they are and what they want, because they bring some very new expectations to the workplace.

⁉️ Creative Questions. These could be used in a variety of contexts. For example, I am often asked by clients for help with coming up with creative questions to open meetings that are fun but also build trust and connection on teams, but they are useful in job interviews too. And honestly, they would be fun around the dinner table with friends too! 

• Best job interview question of all time.
• The Best Question to Ask a Job Applicant (extended article of the first one).
• 15 Questions for Team-Building. This is a new list I've compiled. 
• The kitchen sink. Here are all of my lists, past and present. Go crazy.

🗣 Ask a Manager. Where has THIS been all my life? You can also follow them on Twitter. I also recommend "Ask a Boss." Obviously, I recommend proactive professional development for managers and leaders and not reactive "hair-on-fire" crisis management, but this could be a good site to bookmark as a reliable reference for problems in a pinch.

Final Thoughts. As I s-l-o-w-l-y recover from my broken ankle, I am doing as best I can to live day by day and cultivate patience. In recent reading, I came across this quote from Simone Weil, a 20th century French philosopher and mystic:

We do not obtain the most precious gifts by going in search of them but by waiting for them.

May we each do our best to patiently persist through the highs and lows of these days. Thanks for reading. Please reach out with questions or feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.  

May 2022: Know Your Limits

 

I wish I could say that I found this photo on the internet in preparation for some lofty thoughts on self-discipline... but alas, it is a photo of my own left ankle the day after I had surgery to repair it due to an unfortunate lapse in judgment on my part. I wiped out on my motor scooter (first accident in 15 years of scooter ownership) on May 8 and broke my left ankle. Super dumb mistake... I was pulling into a parking garage and went around the gate thing because scooters park for free but I miscalculated and the gate came down and knocked me off my bike. The scooter basically landed on my foot and turned it 90 degrees. Not pretty. Surgery was on May 11 to reattach cartilage, insert plate and screws. I’ll have a second one in mid-August to remove the screws.

So I am essentially house-bound all summer... still able to work, read a bit, stream a show or three, and visit with kind friends who drop off a meal or send me funny texts. I initially decided this was going to be the Summer of No, but I have since regrouped and copying a friend who is getting treatment for cancer, I'm calling it now the Summer of Slow.

I was reading some writing this morning from a man slated for execution on death row, who wrote,

As I sit here in this execution watch cell on Texas death row, with a camera surveilling my every move, I’m thinking about acceptance, and I’m thinking about survival. Years ago, I came to understand and exercise this power: “Change what you can. Accept the rest.” Now that last part doesn’t mean that you give up. But by accepting things as they are, you in turn are able to gain a certain amount of control over said situation. You feel me?

I am currently in the thick of contemplating that. I have come to the realization that even at my age, I still need to learn a great deal about which are the things I can change and which are the limits I need to accept. I am someone who perseveres, who pushes, who fights back. For those who are familiar with the Enneagram, I'm an Enneagram 8.

All that to say, I am reflecting on what expectations look like from here, on what it means to be productive, on what is important. While I have posted more than once here on those topics before, they certainly have new meaning these days for me. What follows are a few resources that are somewhat in that vein. Thanks for reading.

6 Powerful Questions to Steer Life & Work. It is so easy to get swept up in the day-to-day demands of work, and it never hurts to STEP BACK and reflect on where you are headed. As Stephen Covey says, "If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” There are certainly a ton of ways to pull back to get the big picture, from SWOT analyses to retreats to strategic planning sessions... but here's a spin on all those that might prove helpful. Check it out.

5 subtle signs you’re headed for burnout. I regret to say that this is one of the top three things I have been talking about with clients for the last several months. And it does not seem to be changing as we head into some choppy waters regarding the economy. Take a few moments to read through this one - it can't hurt.

COVID memorial. A poignant reminder (covering just a sliver) of HOW MUCH we lost in these last two years. We have all been so desperate for the pandemic to end, yet I do not want to blow by the profound losses either.  (And let's be honest, I was unfamiliar with the majority of these remarkable people.) So far, the main lesson I have gleaned from my accident is that I have to keep working on tangible ways to slow down. Let us not blow by the significance of what has happened in the last 2 1/2 years... This website gives you a chance to reflect.

CliftonStrengths podcasts on Wellbeing. Anyone who has worked with me in the last 10 years or so knows that I often start the conversation with StrengthsFinder. I continue to find it a useful, objective way of engaging in work around leadership development, motivation, team-building, and self-awareness. The good people at Gallup have started a new podcast series, called oddly enough, The CliftonStrengths Podcast. This season they are discussing how to understand and leverage our strengths around issues of wellbeing. I am taking notes as they work through all 34 Strengths, and you can find the transcripts in my initial link for this recommendation.

What am I watching and listening to in my Summer of Slow? I am just getting started, but here are a few of my favorites.

• Survivor 42 (yes, I'm a sucker for this show)
• Love on the Spectrum (Netflix), US edition. Just started it this week. I've absolutely loved previous seasons.
• Grace & Frankie. It has been on for seven seasons and I have not watched any, but heard a strong recommendation and I'm enjoying it so far.
• Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy (CNN). Season 2 is here! If I can't travel, at least I can go to Italy vicariously.
• Building Off the Grid (Discovery, but I'm watching archived episodes on Sling). I'm not entirely sure why I like this show so much, but I do.
• BBC Sounds. This is the BBC's own podcast platform.  DO NOT MISS "Soul Music" or "In Our Time."

I'm a genuine podcast-a-holic, so I'll leave it there because I love too many to list. I'm sure I'll share some in another post as the summer unfolds. Again, thanks for reading! Please reach out to me with questions or feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.