January 2024: Focus, Five Questions, and a Fun Book

I hope your 2024 is getting off to a good start. I just finished a two-week natural detox to reboot my immune system, this week I started teaching an internship course for the semester to fourteen undergrads, and I've gained three new individual coaching clients in the last two weeks. Other than trying to avoid Covid bubbling around me, I'm feeling energized. Enjoy my latest recommendations and tell me how you are doing.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

🥳 Word of the Year! This is a fun exercise I do every year and send it to my friends. Does it mean anything? Not really... but it's a fun way to spark some energy and creativity to kick off your new year. Give it a spin -- and if you don't like your first word, try again 😆

😱 The Dark Side of the Obsession With Focus. One of my favorite authors, Oliver Burkeman, author of my favorite book of 2022, Four Thousand Weeks, is back with more valuable content. Take 45 minutes to listen to this interview. I'm pretty confident you won't regret it.

​5️⃣ 1:1 Questions for the New Year. I got these from Lisa Cummings at LeadThroughStrengths.com. Answer these 5 prompts for yourself first -- they are clues to your top natural talents:

• I’ve always nerded out on these topics and types of activities:
• This comes easily to me, yet not to others (things you do or the way you think):
• I get a jolt of energy when I’m...
• I lost track of time the last time I was…
• Someone told me I’m good at...

THEN, if you lead a team at work, ​ask the 5 questions to each team member in a 1:1. Some of them will be tough to answer on-the-spot, yet get what you can in-person. Then have them come back with insights on the difficult ones. This will give you new ideas about what projects to assign each person in the future.

🧘🏽‍♂️ From Inner Critic to Inner Coach. I am so intrigued at how certain issues come in waves in my work with clients. Naturally, I'm speaking in huge generalities here, but before the pandemic, much of my coaching requests revolved around learning how to #lead and #manage. Then during the pandemic, the majority of my work centered on #stressmanagement and overall #wellbeing. Now, even though COVID seems to be showing up for yet another wave and there are two big wars happening, I'm finding that client conversations tend to be swirling around #career trajectory and #jobsatisfaction. I have more individual clients than I've ever had, and many of them are wondering what could be next... yet at the same time they are really hard on themselves and think they cannot compete in today's job market. If this sounds at all familiar, take a few minutes to look over this worksheet. Contact me if you want to talk about it!

🔭 Getting In Front of AI. I'm sharing this podcast episode as much as this particular contributor. I am consistently finding Ethan Mollick to be calm, reliable, helpful resource when it comes to understanding AI. When I randomly ask friends or clients whether they have been using AI, I'm finding that's it about 50/50 -- some are excited by it, others haven't tried it (and a couple weren't even sure what it is!). By no means am I an expert, but I have found it useful in a variety of interesting ways so far. Tell me what your experience has been.

📖 Getting There: A Book of Mentors. I started this last week and I'm enjoying it. Do I admire every single person profiled? Nope. But enough of them are worth learning from, and I always love a good story, to make it worthwhile. If you need a good reminder of how much life is "1% inspiration and 99% perspiration," and is also easy to pick up and out down in 10 minutes at a time, this book is for you.

Thanks for reading -- feel free to pass this along to a friend or coworker. And send me questions and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Onward and upward!

My Top Posts for 2023: Do they tell us anything?

Perhaps in the spirit of Spotify Wrapped, I decided to check my most viewed posts on LinkedIn for 2023. It helps me to see what gets people's attention, but it also instructs me as a coach, consultant, teacher, mentor, and information nerd!

So here are my five most frequently viewed posts on LinkedIn -- I sense a theme... 🤔:

① How (and why) you should create a backup plan for your career. This was not only most viewed post, but it was viewed more than the next nine posts added together!! And I will confirm that job dissatisfaction / frustration / boredom was a repeated theme with a sizable number of my clients. In a recent conversation with one of my clients, where I encouraged him to update his LinkedIn profile, he said, "I thought you only needed LinkedIn when you needed to look for a job." I quickly responded with several points related to the power of #networking, #visibility and #professionaldevelopment. Those are all reasons as well for why I recommended this article. So if you haven't read it yet, join the thousands who did!

② How to handle feeling overworked. I led a discussion on this #podcast with a team earlier this fall. The title describes it well. If you're feeling #overwhelmed and/or #overworked, take 40 minutes to listen to it. 

③ No one taught me the importance of managing up—here’s why you may need to be your boss’ boss. I just had three conversations this week about this very topic. Shaping the expectations of your supervisor is so important to how you are managed and perceived. Key quote: "So, now, I don’t shy away from managing up. I no longer think of 'managing up' as impolite. I think about it as advocating for my #career."

④ What Color Is Your Parachute? 2022: Your Guide to a Lifetime of Meaningful Work and Career Success. (See the #1 most frequently viewed post!) This book gets updated every year, so no doubt the new 2024 edition should be released soon. Again, it just cannot hurt to lay the groundwork for a career change before you need one.

⑤ A compelling quote. My "LinkedIn Wrapped" review will end with this tremendous thought: 

“I sit here, and I know where I am. This is very important. We tend to be alive in the future, not now." Thich Nhat Hanh #selfcare #presence

Thanks for reading, and for joining me on the journey this year. See you in 2024!

🎄 December 2023: Time Management, Teams, Toolkits and More

I am hearing from many clients that they are scrambling as they juggle quarter-end, year-end, project-end deadlines, also hoping they can somehow get it all done so they can have a true break during the holidays. May some of these resources help you reach the finish line!

🎄 * ❄️ * 🕎 * 🎅🏽 * ☮️ * 🎁 * 🦌

🕰️ Time management: A guide to more sanity and less anxiety. This is an interview of my FAVORITE resource regarding time management, Oliver Burkeman. When I posted this on LinkedIn, a client commented, "I started listening to this podcast expecting time management techniques and realized it’s all about mindset. 🤯 i need to listen to this one again." I've recommended Burkeman's book here more than once. Give yourself this book for the holidays.

⛑️ A Refresher on Psychological Safety. At minimum, include this video in your management training; additionally, maybe even watch it with your team and discuss it? It's only 7.5 minutes long but also packed with useful insights.

🌍 🗣️ Getting Feedback Right on Diverse Teams. An excellent half-hour interview with Erin Meyer, the author of the Culture Map, my go-to resource for optimizing global, intercultural communication. A longer, more in-depth article was provided in the Sept-Oct 2023 issue of Harvard Business Review.

🧠 Mental Health Toolkit: Tools to Bolster Your Mood & Mental Health. I go in and out of listening to this podcast, but landed on this episode, and found it to be a great collection of things I wanted to be reminded of as I take some time to think about how this year has gone and how I want to step into 2024, especially in terms of mental health, well-being, and stress management. It is two hours long but I do recommend you take the time to listen to it.

🪫 Energy Audit (Introvert vs Extrovert). Here's a simple (and science-based) worksheet on recognizing draining situations in your daily life and developing strategies to avoid consecutive energy-sapping scenarios that can lead to #overwhelm and #burnout. 

🎸 What we learned from our parents' record collections. The title alone got my memories flowing... Simon & Garfunkel, Carole King, Barbra Streisand, the Beatles, the Band were all on repeat (on vinyl, of course) in my elementary school years. This podcast also recounts some delightful stories as well. Enjoy.

🤣 Team-Building Question for the Month. Throw this on to your Teams, Slack, Google Hangout, iMessage thread and have a good laugh.

"What was the best holiday gift you ever received?"

Mine was an Easy-Bake oven when I was 7 years old...🧁 🥰 

May your December bring some peace, joy, rest, and good memories. Thanks for reading -- feel free to share this with friends and co-workers. Cheers!

November 2023: 🍁 Fall Favorites So Far

I know it sounds ridiculous to some of you, but here in Santa Barbara we were able to shift to sweaters just this week... so now it finally feels like fall. Please enjoy my recommendations for this month!

= + = + = + = + = + = + = + = + = + = + = + = + =  

👩Women at Work. To say the least, this is a topic close to my heart! Despite having just finished a summer with the Barbie movie and multi-million dollar tours for Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, I will verify that women by and large still face unique challenges in the workplace. In light of my 40 years (GULP!) of leadership experience I can say some things have improved, but there are days where I am not so sure...

But I will save that conversation for another day. For this month, I want to share these excellent conversations and articles that focus entirely on specific workplace dynamics for women. Even if you aren't a woman, please check these out -- I can confidently assume you work with women, have significant others who are female, and/or have daughters! These conversations are valuable for everyone:

• The agents of change: How women are altering the power paradigm. There are so many quotable statements in this discussion, but I'll settle on this one: “'For those of us that have to navigate spaces where we are the minority, [it’s] part of our survival,' she says. 'The way that I'm allowed to be in this room, or in this place, is to make sure that I do not upset anyone around me.' [Nevertheless] Nekvapil teaches her clients that 'power is abundant,' and that one person having it doesn’t by default take it away from someone else." In other words, power is not finite. I have learned from experience that when I give power to others that I do not lose it -- in fact, it can enhance my power. Please take a listen to this episode.
• ADHD Is Different for Women. Perhaps the best interview I’ve listened to on this topic because it focuses solely on the unique ways that women experience ADHD -- including peri-menopausal and menopausal women.
• Forget the crisis. The ‘midlife collision’ is real and affecting a large part of the workforce. Many of my #clients tell me about the challenges described here. I appreciate the way the article frames the struggles faced in #midlife in a more granular way, especially as it relates to women's caregiving for multiple generations in their families. Here is another expression of this "collision" women face, described as a "portal." I appreciate that she frames this significant time in women's lives both as a crisis AND an awakening.

😩 Why Career Transition is So Hard. This must scratch where many people itch because I posted this article from #HBR on LinkedIn this week and it is generating a lot of traffic on my feed. It is by Herminia Ibarra, a wise author I trust, and goes well beyond the basic, obvious "tips" of most articles on this topic. I love this statement from her: "Career change is iterative. You can’t line everything up in advance. You have to figure things out over time and make adjustments as you go." The best part is that she then digs in and gives three strong pieces of advice to get you started on this process. I will be using this article with clients!

💰 US Economy Data. I don't normally post links like this (because they are WAY above my paygrade in terms of expertise) but I found this encouraging news from a "right of center" economist at George Mason University.

🤝 LinkedIn exec reveals exactly how AI is changing hiring and recruiting. Before you panic (or skip it because like me you are getting sick of AI hype), take in this quote from the article: "But he agrees with Chamorro-Premuzic that the soft skills that can’t be replaced by AI will continue to be an important differentiator for job seekers, citing the fact that 70% of U. S. executives surveyed by LinkedIn agree that soft skills are more important than AI skills right now."

👏🏽 What I'm Enjoying Right Now. All work and no play makes me a dull girl. I'm deeply enjoying:

• The Great British Baking Show. I never, ever tire of this one. And I'm really enjoying the new host Alison Hammond. She's a hoot!
• Beckham. Call me a sucker for yet another profile of British "royalty," but it is fascinating to watch.
• Welcome to Wrexham. Lots of British accents in my life these days, apparently! Each episode tends to give me a good laugh and a heartfelt tear or three.
• Sufjan Stevens' new album, Javelin. The first song had me at hello, and the whole album has been on repeat. I've also been taking in Seven Psalms by Paul Simon.
• McCartney: A Life in Lyrics. Oops, more British accents! 🤦🏽‍♀️ But I grew up as a child on the Beatles and these episodes recount how Paul McCartney came up with the lyrics to his songs.
• Leftover Halloween candy. More specifically, mini Swedish fish. An absolute FAVORITE!

Feel free to share this post with others, and reach out to me with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!

October 2023: Happiness, How-to's, Hidden Potential

🤔 Using ChatGPT to Make Better Decisions. As I inch my way in to understanding and using #AI more, I plan to share the articles I find most useful. This quote captures the value of this article: "...while it may be tempting to merely ask ChatGPT for answers, the real power of LLMs is how they can assist at each stage [of #decisionmaking]." Much of my #coaching involves listening to my #clients and helping them figure out what are the true issues they are dealing with, so this resource becomes a valuable option to work through a complex question or concern. (PS I prefer ClaudeAI to ChatGPT)

🤡 Arthur C. Brooks — How to Be Happy. Before you give a hard pass on this, hear me out. This is not a discussion about the emotion of being happy; it's about finding happiness, AKA "fulfillment" or "meaning," in life. Big difference! I will be the first to admit that a) this is a l-o-n-g interview, so I recommend breaking it up, and b) I often find Tim Ferriss annoying (skip the section where Tim fanboys Brooks' fitness 🙄)... Nevertheless, there is tons of good content that goes in several different directions and is very thought-provoking.

🌎 How to Influence Across Cultures. I have mentioned on this blog before that much of my work involves connecting with clients in many other countries. I have learned a great deal in the last several years about what it takes to work across cultures. I have also mentioned previously here that I have benefited greatly from Erin Meyers' research found in her book The Culture Map, and have repeatedly recommended her interview on Armchair Expert. Another interview in that vein (a bit more sedate than Dax Shepard on Armchair and entirely business-focused) can be found on the episode of Coaching for Leaders that I have linked here. I am bringing this up again because the applications I gained from these resources are more pertinent than ever today as we continue to expand globally (and virtually) in how work is done.  While I’m at it, I also recommend this brief article on the distinct differences in meaning between the terms “multi-cultural,” “cross-cultural,” and “intercultural.”

💤 How to slow down and find some meaningful rest. I wish I'd kept count of the hundreds of times I have had conversations with clients and friends about fatigue and the need for rest. It is a constantly recurring theme, to say the least. I highly recommend this link of an interview on slowing down and the seven forms of rest that we actually need. While you're at it, take the Rest Quiz mentioned in the conversation, which I have recommended before. Heck, if you want to keep pondering this topic, here is an article this week from New Yorker magazine as well. I like the lede: "Requiring rest, rather than work, is still a radical idea."

✅ Hidden Potential Assessment. If you have worked with me, you know I like useful assessments, and if you've read at least a few of my blog posts, you know I appreciate the work of Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist who seeks "to explore the science of making work not suck" (his own description). He has a new book coming out - here's the blurb: "His latest book, Hidden Potential, explores how to build the skills and structures to achieve greater things, and how to create opportunities for those who have been overlooked. We can all improve at improving – and when opportunity doesn’t knock, there are ways to build a door." That concept of "constant improvement" intrigues me. He's lecturing here in Santa Barbara on November 16 and I plan on going. (PS If you take the assessment, share your results with me and I'll share mine!)

❓Team-Building Question for the Month. As I said last month, I strongly suggest using creative ice-breaker questions on a consistent basis to help create a warmer, fun, collegial, maybe even mildly vulnerable work vibe. One team I work with calls this exercise "Thursday Thoughts" on their Teams thread and they have agreed to respond within 24 hours once the question is posted. Here is a question for the month: 

What's the last thing that made your face light up?
(Yes, like, really excited when you talked about it.)

My response:
I got to go to the Coldplay concert at the Rose Bowl last weekend. Singing loudly with 60,000 others is a good thing to do every once in awhile!

✍🏾 Journal Prompt for the Month. I take time every morning to journal. I don't write a ton on most days, but I try to take a few minutes each time to check in on myself: Anything staying with me from the day before? Anything on my mind about what I'm heading into today? How is my body feeling? What am I thinking about? This practice helps me prepare for my day by becoming present, and addressing anything that might interfere with my interactions with others.

I coach nearly every client to consider doing this, so I want to include a journal prompt here each month to get you started:

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

The link I've included sends you to the folder of journal prompts I make available to clients, if you need more ideas.

Thanks for reading ~ feel free to share this with a friend or co-worker. Send questions or feedback to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Cheers!

September 2023: Boggled, Building, BP10, More Building..

Normally the month of August is a quiet one with coaching clients because people jam in some last-minute vacations, but for whatever reason(s), this one was packed! Below are just a sampling of the many resources I used this past month. Goodbye to summer, hello to fall!

😵‍💫 Boggled by AI? Join the club! I recommend following this blog regularly. This particular post gives you an overview of the AI landscape. Definitely worth it. 

🗣️ Building a Culture Where Employees Feel Free to Speak Up. I recently trained a group of #managers in how to cultivate #psychologicalsafety on their teams. The presentation included basic concepts, case studies, breakout discussions and recognition that this is a key part of the manager's job, whether they signed up for it or not! This link provides a good article from #hbr on getting started on building this sort of space for your team.

🆕 BP10: do you want to start something new? I am currently coaching 10 individuals in career discernment - more than I ever have at the same time. That tells me something. Many tell me they are restless, or searching for something new/ meaningful / energizing... others feel stuck, while some feel daunted at the possibility of doing the same thing they are doing now for 20-25 more years. Last but not least, some feel the itch to take a risk. If you have an idea or a sense that you want to launch out on your own, I believe this assessment from Gallup is the best tool to start with. (PS I do not work for Gallup!!) I just retook BP10 after first taking it in 2019, and it gave me some new insights to my goal-setting for this fall into 2024. There are some amazing tools that come with it, plus some helpful podcasts, and it syncs well with StrengthsFinder. Email me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me if you'd like to work on it together!

❓Team-Building Question for the Month. I coach the overwhelming majority of my clients virtually, and in turn they work virtually with their teams. I strongly suggest using creative ice-breaker questions on a consistent basis to help create a warmer, fun, collegial, maybe even mildly vulnerable work vibe. One team I work with calls this exercise "Thursday Thoughts" on their Teams thread and they have agreed to respond within 24 hours once the question is posted. Here is a question for the month:

“What song best describes your life right now?” 

A related one: “What song sounds like the motto of your life?”

What are my responses? (Glad you asked!): 

Closer to Fine by the Indigo Girls (admittedly, it’s back in my mental playlist thanks to the Barbie movie!)

Life motto song: Shed a Little Light by James Taylor

⛑️ Building Wellbeing in the Workplace. This is a one-hour dive into #wellbeing in the #workplace, but truly worth the time. The conversation breaks down the realities of #burnout and how it is an *occupational* condition most impacted by the way we each interact with our workload, co-workers, and company values. It's a discussion between top-drawer researchers but they use non-technical, everyday language. I found it incredibly insightful. A brief article in a similar vein from Psychology Today website can be found here.

🥵 How to Handle Feeling Overworked. I'm leading a professional development discussion on this #podcast next week. The title describes it well. If the fall is a "new year" for you and you're feeling #overwhelmed and/or #overworked, take 40 minutes to listen to it. Calmly and clearly, #MurielWilkins coaches a #client through the steps to address those feelings with real and practical value.

And if you are so overworked you can't even handle taking that on, just put this song on repeat 😉 The song of my senior year...

🎧 Recommended podcasts (for fun!). OK, admittedly, I personally find these podcasts a relaxing way to unwind from a full day -- hope you do too. They also give you a peek into my "diverse" tastes:

• Broken Record. INCREDIBLE conversations with musicians on how and why they make their music. The recent one with Paul Simon left me speechless. 
• Strike Force Five. Conversations between late-night talk show hosts Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers & John Oliver that they are doing to help pay their staffs during the WGA/SAG strikes. Stupid fun.
• Sidedoor. From the ridiculous to the... super nerdy. Here's the description: "More than 157 million treasures fill the Smithsonian’s vaults, but where public view ends, Sidedoor begins. With the help of biologists, artists, historians, archaeologists, zookeepers, and astrophysicists, host Lizzie Peabody sneaks listeners through Smithsonian’s side door to search for stories that can’t be found anywhere else." Dork Heaven.

All for now. Please reach out with questions and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. And share this with a friend or coworker!

August 2023: Blizzard in a Heat Wave?

I confess that I had big ambitions to send out a second post of recommendations in July because so many recommendations had piled up for me that I wanted to share with you. However, as often happens, my calendar got the best of me and well, here I am.

So this month will be a BLIZZARD 🌨️ of recommendations with little commentary. I hope the mental image of cold weather provides a few seconds of relief from the summer heat extremes so many of us are experiencing. Thanks to all of those I have met with this past month -- I've enjoyed so many wonderful conversations!

❄️  ❄️  ❄️  ❄️  ❄️  ❄️  ❄️  ❄️  ❄️  ❄️ 

🧐 35 ChatGPT prompts to prep for your next job interview. As I mentioned in my June 2023 post, I have several clients asking to meet for career coaching and I've given this link to more than one person and they have found it useful. Feel free to hit me up if you have questions.

📚 AI in Education -- The Homework Apocalyse. If you are a teacher or adjunct instructor like me, I found this article surprisingly hopeful, and incredibly helpful.

🏀 Sally Jenkins on ‘The Right Call: What Sports Teach Us About Work and Life’. I will be the first as a woman to acknowledge that I get weary of hearing sports analogies in a male-dominated workplace. NEVERTHELESS, I will happily acknowledge that this interview is right on. Don't miss it.

🤯 Leading with psychological safety AND cultural intelligence. This one got hundreds of looks when I posted it on LinkedIn. I have coached many teams on both of these topics, but I am challenged by realizing I could and should integrate the two more.

🧠 "I came out as autistic at work. Here's what happened." This is coming up so often with clients and companies I work with lately. This can be a fraught topic in some workplaces, especially those that lack awareness. We ALL need to keep learning about neurodivergence. Again, go back to my June 2023 post for some resources to get started.

📈 Leadership Scaling: "You can’t scale ahead of your people." This brief article has some good principles that are clear and worth thinking through with others.

📧 Your Email Does Not Constitute My Emergency. By #AdamGrant, a tremendous thought leader. Love this: “One of the silver linings of the Covid era is that people became more thoughtful about communicating digital boundaries — and more understanding about accepting them... We can’t let that boundary-setting vanish with the pandemic. We need it to become endemic.”

👶🏽 👵🏽 5 things to keep in mind when you hear about Gen Z, Millennials, Boomers and other generations. I have been guilty of over-generalizing about generations in my desire to make a point. Great reminders here.

💯 Tips for a Better Life. I posted this here in January 2021. But it still seems interesting to me! Tip 29: "You do not live in a video game. There are no pop-up warnings if you’re about to do something foolish, or if you’ve been going in the wrong direction for too long. You have to create your own warnings."

Thank you for reading -- feel free to share it with others. And you can reach me with feedback and questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Enjoy the rest of the summer ⛱️