January 2021: Reflection, Resources and Remote Work

Where do I begin? In some ways I have some genuine energy around the beginning of this new year. I found the Thursday through Sunday breaks of Christmas and New Year's almost magical this time around... truly restful. I set aside time for reflection and really processed this past nightmare, er um, 2020 year. I even did some goal-setting, although I'm trying to be realistic about how much one can predict as to what lies ahead.

So this month's set of recommendations and resources are pretty hefty. I have used all of them personally or with clients. You may want to bookmark this post ~ it's a bounty of interesting stuff. Happy 2021, friends. Let's be in it together. In a socially distant way, anyway...

Reflection. Like I said, I had some extra EXTRA time for reflection during this break thanks to no travel and a very quiet household. In other words, do not be daunted by this list. Just pick one or two of them. I definitely recommend looking backward before moving forward.

• 2020 Reflection Questions. I took some time to sit on these and review this year. Might be fun to share this with those close to you and see what they come up with. If you want to jumpstart some new journaling habits, you can also go here: https://bit.lyKSLDJournalPrompts  
• Adobe My Creative Types. Sure sure, we all like online quizzes, right? But this has some intriguing, out-of-the-box questions. My results were spot-on and I'm using them in conjunction with my Strengths Finder profile to assess how I'm approaching things this year. (PS I'm a "Thinker")
• BP 10 Assessment. This is an undersold tool created by Gallup. Especially if you are launching into a new endeavor or project (or want to assess if it's a good fit to do so), I recommend this tool. I also recommend that you process the results with someone to get the full impact. Talking about it somehow helps...
• A "21 for 21" list.  List twenty-one things you’d like to do by 2022. These items can be easy or ambitious; one-time undertakings or habits that stretch for years; fun or...less fun. I've barely started mine but want to keep building it.
• How to be a less-stressed leader. I just posted this on LinkedIn. Might be good to print out and place next to your desk?
• Low-stress New Year's resolution options. If all of this overwhelm you, here are some easy-peasy, low-impact ways to make some tangible steps. Be gentle with yourself.

Resources. I think because most of my clients have been working from home, there weren't as many distractions this year (little travel, no holiday parties), so I was working with people till December 30! So here are some of the tools I passed along to them this month. Buckle up!

• Talk Less. Listen More. Here's How. Favorite quote: "Listening is a skill. And as with any skill, it degrades if you don’t do it enough. Some people may have stronger natural ability while others may have to work harder, but each of us can become a better listener with practice."
• 100 Tips for a Better Life. I don't know if "better" is the right word -- perhaps "more efficient"? Nevertheless, super intriguing list.
• Better Ways to Manage Up and Out. HBR IdeaCast is a must-listen on my podcast list. This one is a great breakdown of the fuzzy concepts of soft power and how exactly to “manage up.” (PS Here's an earlier post of mine on how to manage up...)
• Use OKRs to Set Goals for Teams, Not Individuals. I thought this article did a good job delineating the management of teams vs individuals, and defining what are true *results*. Could be fodder for onboarding of new managers and/or an ongoing training conversation with experienced managers? 
• 7 Questions to Ask Yourself If You’re Thinking of Making a Career Change During COVID-19. Shhhhh... Quite a few people have reached out for help as they consider a job change. This might feel hard to do as you try to keep up with a demanding job, but a lot of folks are getting a chance to ask themselves, "Do I actually like what I'm doing?" These questions might seem obvious, but I think they guide a productive and fruitful start to your thought process. 
• Multi-Gen Workforce 2021 graphic. Graphics are well... simplistic. But this might be a handy reference for leaders and managers as we lead a very diverse workforce these days of Boomers, Gen X, Millennials and Gen Z. There is a Grand Canyon of differences between these generations in work style, attitudes, etc. I do a lot of "translating" for leaders and employees in my consulting because both parties want to tear their hair out at times. Here is a secret decoder ring :)

Remote Work #WFH. Yep. This is definitely a thing. We are in the wild, wild West of the workplace as we adjust and reorganize due to the pandemic. As many pundits are saying, this is just speeding up the inevitable. Here are few things to leverage as we keep adjusting and learning. To quote Billy Beane in Moneyball, "Adapt or die!"

• 8 Questions Every Manager Should Ask in One-on-One Meetings. Seems basic, but I recommend creating a template and tracking these questions month-to-month. Here's the document as a JPEG: https://bit.ly/1-1MgrQs 
• Where Did the Commute Time Go? Offers several insights, borne out as well by my work with clients, that caught my attention. The article also describes some possible responses to these changes as the pandemic starts to resolve.
• Pomodor app. Much of the conversation around remote work revolves around productivity. I think the question should shift to one of focus, and how to maintain motivation and momentum. This tool (hack?) is simple and practical, but it can be a powerful way to improve your productivity and focus. MANY of my clients are struggling during this pandemic to make deep, focused work happen consistently as they work from home and juggle multiple, daily zooms. This tool can block out distractions and articulate your intentions. It lets you set custom work and break times, track your work by labeling each session, and show or hide the timer in your browser’s menu bar. The app even works offline and syncs your stats across devices. Here is a graphic of how the Pomodoro approach works: https://bit.ly/KSLDPomodoroTool

Point to Ponder.

“If I was to sum up the single biggest problem of senior leadership in the Information Age,” four-star Marine Corps general and former secretary of defense James Mattis has said, “it’s lack of reflection. Solitude allows you to reflect while others are reacting. We need solitude to refocus on prospective decision-making, rather than just reacting to problems as they arise.”

Please feel free to reach out to me with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading! 

December 2020: Self-Care, Sunny Days and Redeemed Suffering

 

This month's title only captures some of the goodies I have for this month, so dig in!

It’s not that you don’t care. It’s that you’re mentally exhausted. I'm sad I even have to post this article, but this is what life is like right now after so many months of Pandemic Life. Remember, stress and exhaustion don't usually hit all at once; they incrementally build up slowly over time and take over without us realizing it. This article is a good start in assessing how you are doing.

7 Questions You Should Ask If You Are Applying for a Remote Job. Remote jobs are the "new black" in 2020. BUT... not all jobs are created equal. I have worked remotely since 2009 and I vouch for the 7 questions in this article. 

Sunny Days Protect Against the Flu (and COVID?). I don't normally post health tips here as it is a realm beyond my expertise, but I am one giant fan of self-care (and the benefits of Vitamin D), and we need to seek self-care all the more aggressively as we move into winter. Should a sunny day offer itself, don't miss out!! 

Time Magazine's 100 Best Inventions for 2020. In the past two months I've offered these other links for mental health breaks: Oddly Satisfying and Amazing Fact Generator. This month's offering will not disappoint.

Mary Karr — The Master of Memoir on Creative Process and Finding Gifts in the Suffering. Spellbinding podcast interview from start to finish, on the process of writing. If you want a masterclass on creativity, especially in light of personal trauma, look no further. I could have listened for many more hours. (P.S. I'm not the biggest fan of Tim Ferriss, the interviewer, but the guest, Mary Karr, more than makes up for Ferriss.)

What am I reading / watching / listening to? Oh GOSH, where to begin...

• Almost Everything: Notes on Hope by Anne Lamott. I am a HUGE fan. She makes me laugh out loud, and tells it like it is.
• Where the Past Begins: Memory and Imagination by Amy Tan. Part memoir, part how-to on writing. A little rambling at times, but overall very moving and intriguing in its exploration of how we remember our past.
• The Queen's Gambit on Netflix. I don't even know how to describe this. It's a little bit like a Wes Anderson movie, but it's also sort of a thriller. Who knew chess could be exciting?!
• Song Exploder: How Music Gets Made. Just watch it on Netflix. SO GOOD.
• Louder Than a Riot. This is a podcast -- I am 3 episodes in and I am HOOKED. If you liked Serial, you'll love this. It covers the "interconnected rise between hip-hop and mass incarceration," but even more than that.
• Distributed. Another podcast, by the founder of WordPress, on remote work, AKA, being a "distributed workforce." Might sound nerdy... AND it is. But super interesting as we continue the WFH thang.

I'll end with this:

“And the world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, no matter how long, but only by a spiritual journey, a journey of one inch, very arduous and humbling and joyful, by which we arrive at the ground at our own feet, and learn to be at home.”

―Wendell Berry

Hit me up with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading. 

NOVEMBER NINE, 2020

By my calculations we are entering the ninth month of the pandemic, so I will mark that milestone with nine recommendations for the month. At least I'm glad we're in this rollercoaster ride together!

1. COVID-19 Won’t Change Us Forever. Though written in July (which seems forever ago!), I think the argument still stands. Here's a solid reminder: "Let’s give ourselves some credit. No matter how horrific the disaster, no matter how damaged our psyches, we wounded humans always bounce back." As we face a momentous election day this week, I recommend this brief one from The Atlantic.
2. Informal Communication in an all-remote environment. OK, buckle up, because I've got a couple of key links here. I spent October taking an online course on How to Manage Remote Teams and have already applied things I've learned with three different teams. I certainly recommend the link at the start here, but I also recommend an interesting article from Fast Company magazine that sent me down this rabbit hole in the first place. And if you want the full downlow, here's the Gitlab Wiki that they use to run their fully remote company. PHEW! A whole lotta info, but the rules of work are changing under our feet (or in the cloud?) and we need to keep up. All the cheats are here. Reach out to me if you want/NEED more info!
3. Coaching Problem Employees. This could be the most useful 36 minutes you could spend this month. Tune in to this "Dear HBR" podcast episode from 9-17-20, which includes Melvin Smith, professor of management at Case Western Reserve University. I especially liked this podcast because it really got in the weeds with specifics of how to address real life situations. I also turned it into a training module for one of my clients to use with their managers -- contact me if you want to receive that.
4. How to Quickly Turn Emails into Tasks. One of my mantras with clients is "DO NOT use your email inbox as your to-do list!" As the article says, "It’s tempting to leave emails in your inbox because it’s easier, but then tasks you need to accomplish are buried in the incoming deluge of email." This gives you the skinny on how to make this happen in Gmail, Outlook, Apple Mail. Nice!
5. 6 COVID-19 terms that would have made no sense in January. Try to guess what they are before you hit the link. (P.S. This could be a good mixer to start off a team meeting too!)
6. Navigating the Virtual Workplace in Stressful Times (scroll down about halfway down the page). This may sound a bit random, but there are important vocal, chemical and body dynamics at play during video conferencing: this podcast provides fascinating stuff on how seratonin, oxytocin and dopamine are at play in our social interactions... plus some interesting new insights on the importance of HANDS in video calls. I KNOW! 🤷🏽‍♂️
7. Your comprehensive guide to job searching during the pandemic. I am coaching SEVERAL clients in job searching right now... you are not alone. This article gives a good jumpstart if you're feeling a bit paralyzed. I also posted this one in August: Your Ultimate Guide to Answering the Most Common Interview Questions, which helped one client get a job offer, and this one in May: How to Recover When Your Career Gets Derailed.
8. "Oddly Satisfying." Need a mental health break during your day? This one is pretty darn great. I think there is some of that ASMR stuff going on too... How Things Are Made is rather diverting as well.
9. Plague of Peacocks. No real purpose here. I just found it rather delightful. Favorite quote: "They’re like blimmin’ road runners.”

Hit me up with questions and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Find additional resources at https://bit.ly/KSLDresources. Thanks for reading ~ share it with a friend.

October 2020: Future Focus

This month's post is focusing on the (near) future. I am finding, both personally and with clients, that the pandemic has offered time to think and reflect, whether we want to or not. These links reflect some of the conversations I've been having as we shift from a sprint to a marathon.

✅ Americans might never come back to the office, and Twitter is leading the charge.  Keep the subtitle in mind, because it's telling: "Twitter’s plans for work from home indefinitely have prompted a wave of copycats. But its transformation has been two years in the making — and the rest of America can learn some lessons." I recently presented a webinar on Managing Remote Teams, and during the final discussion, someone acknowledged that she had been doing her regular job, just making some tweaks to get things done remotely. What she now realizes is that she needs to craft an entirely new approach, and not just make things work. Can you relate??

🎇 How to Reimagine the Second Half of Your Career. Furloughs, loss of workplace, economic stress, time to think, you name it... all of these dynamics are prompting many people in my universe to consider changes in work. This article could get the conversation started. 

📌 Growing Interest in Alternative Credentials. I've seen this trend coming for quite awhile. I've talked with higher ed institutions and while they are open to it, the pace of innovation in academia is GLACIAL. We may see the tech sector be the one that really pushes this forward. Google and Amazon are already offering options to their employees in this space. Listen and learn: we'll be hearing much more about certificates and badges in the future!

😳 Four COVID Impacts. Everyone and their brother is prognosticating these days about where we are headed, but I think this one has some calm, helpful insights for next steps. This statement stays with me: "The pandemic is a once in a lifetime opportunity to reset things that aren’t working or to try out new things."  I also found this article super interesting: It's Getting Better AND Worse, from Bloomberg News.

🥳 Need a Break? Here are three very fun, mindless diversions to give you a mental health break...

• The Amazing Fact Generator. Keep this one open for that random piece of trivia that you can drop on somebody on a moment's notice.
• WFH Zoom Fail. There are far too many of these available online, but this is a good one.
• The 2020 Marist Mindset List. These lists have been compiled since 1998, originally by Beloit College, serving as fascinating "cultural compasses." This year's entry opens with this: "They were born in the aftermath of 9/11 and have entered college during the COVID-19 pandemic. For this year’s incoming group of first-year college students, going to college might even require staying home for remote classes; some may simply be taking a gap year."

Current Favorites.

• Podcast. The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green. Equal parts nerdy and fascinating.
• Streaming. World's Toughest Race: Eco-Challenge Fiji on Amazon Prime. The backstories on the competitors Make. Me. Cry. Every. Time. I also can't wait to watch the final season of Schitt's Creek.
• Reading. Amazon Monthly Kindle E-Book Sale. True confession: I am hopelessly addicted to this treasure hunt of goodies. Is that so bad?!
• Documentary.  John Lewis: Good Trouble. Do not miss this. Utterly humbling, inspiring and motivating.

KS Leadership Development Updates. Nothing earth-shattering here, but I want to point out two resources that are available to you:

1. COVID-19 Resources. I have been trying to take in as much as I can in terms of ALL aspects of the pandemic. I maintain the column on the right side of this blog on a regular basis with resources that address a variety of the things impacted by all of this. Feel free to send other recommendations.
2. KSLD Resources Drive. I upload many of the tools here that I use with clients. Hopefully they will "stir the pot" for you if you need some ideas for leadership development, team-building, professional development, etc.  

Thanks for reading... feel free to send feedback and questions to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. And forward this to a friend.

Sept 2020: Happy Other New Year?

Blogger and author Gretchen Rubin says, “September is the other January — a clean slate, a fresh start, a chance to use new pencils, fresh notebooks, and begin again.” Additionally, September is the month of the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah. This year it begins on September 18. If there was ever a time for a do-over, a fresh start, it would be NOW, amiright? 

All that to say, PHEW, this year has been a humdinger and we're only 3/4 of the way there. To prepare for the "new year" (and to get a little R&R), I just returned from a lovely week in Yosemite. Fortunately, the national parks are doling out passes very gingerly, so the park was incredibly UNcrowded and there was good mask-wearing in all group areas.

I took this photo on a walk one evening after dinner as a reminder of what's ahead... a long journey that feels a bit lonely at times. But still has beauty all around if we look for it.

While I certainly spent much of the time resting, being outdoors and reading things for fun, I also used the week to step back and reflect on what has happened since the pandemic. I would say that the majority of my work currently centers around assisting leaders and employees in managing the stresses, strains, and unknowns as we continue to work remotely, for the most part. And for better or worse, I have worked with a broad spectrum of contexts: higher ed, retail, non-profit, technology, churches, and start-ups. So while I can't sound all fancy and tell you I've been doing some really high-level research on this topic, I can give you my ground-level impressions gained from day-to-day work with many people.

So for this month's blog post, rather than give a list of valuable resources that I've used with clients in the last month, I'm going to share some of my TEN BIG AHA’s about working from home (WFH). This also makes this post a bit longer than normal ~ let me know what you think! Much of my thoughts are framed by a 7-article series from Harvard Business Review called The Big Idea for July 2020. I would give you the links, but you can only access them through subscription. 

Here goes!

❶ The pandemic didn’t “cause” any of our problems; it just accelerated them. All of the things we are currently struggling through in terms of the workplace and the economy overall were already present before the pandemic. The shopping mall was already waning; retail brick-and-mortar were already deeply threatened by online shopping; we already had an abundance of over-priced restaurants; multiple employers were grappling with the question of whether they should allow employees to work from home or some sort of hybrid situation; our addiction to air travel was contributing greatly to climate change; higher ed is ridiculously expensive and the resulting loan debt is unmanageable  — not to mention that the current structures and degrees in higher ed are somewhat out of date in terms of the skills needed in the marketplace…. So many other things could be listed. Suffice it to say, all of our current challenges just came faster than we expected, and now we are being forced to deal with them rather than keep being in denial.

❷ The 21st century workplace has been in deep transition and transformation for years. The pandemic has accelerated the evolution away from the office as a productivity space to something else — a learning space and a space to solve complex problems. We already saw this during the 2008 recession as coworking spaces and the gig economy took hold. Some ridiculous percentage of workers in the US are independent contractors (I can't find reliable data -- 20% to 40%?), and aren’t connected to one particular office. The pandemic will only decouple the worker from the office even further. Not to mention that the concentration of certain industries to certain cities has made the cost of living completely unamanageable (hello Silicon Valley and SF, among others!), so it was inevitable that the 21st century workplace would go under profound transformation. Companies are currently building the plane as they fly it, as the saying goes, in this regard.

❸ This doesn’t mean offices are irrelevant. They can be crucial for a start-up, where the key players need to work together in nimble and catalytic fashion, solving problems and making strategic decisions together. This is also needed around big machine learning projects (like I even know what that means! Just trusting techy bros on this ones...) involving big data, AI, etc. 

❹ We will not know the impact of all this on the physical workplace for 12 to 18 months. Not only is this due to the fluid nature of the pandemic and the economy, but also because companies are usually locked in leases that won’t be renewing for 12 to 18 months.  STAY TUNED.

❺ HOWEVER, people are realizing that they miss things about their workspace that have little to do with production. They really need the office for socialization. People need to convene in person at least once a year. PS The lack of socialization is truly isolating for some; and for others, they are profoundly struggling with anxiety and stress related to non-work issues that are emerging from this year's MANY struggles. I have worked with several clients to create "safe spaces" to talk about these things.  It has proven very fruitful.

❻ There are many things people like about working from home.

• No more irrelevant travel
• More focused time -- fewer pop-in interruptions, less random conversations.
• Shorter meetings
• More flexible time with family
• No commute!
• It took awhile, but many are finally in the groove of WFH

❼  Why is this working better now? Remote work has been seen as less valuable in the past and employers have resisted it. But now...

• Everyone has to do it;
• Thus we had to collectively figure out challenges.
• Before, remote work was compared to the office, where we’d never have kids or pets in the picture! So it seemed less professional and legitimate?
• In the past, virtual workers felt "lesser than" and left out - no longer!

❽ Leaders have a big job moving forward. They must be more invested in clear communication. One almost has to become the Chief Repetition Officer because collective vision, values and culture will not exist in one place or be naturally absorbed.

❾ Managers are bearing the brunt of the shift to remote work. Occupied by supporting employees, managing dispersed teams, nurturing connections. Increased frequency of 1:1’s. Less team collaboration time needed as a result, so meetings can be shorter. Managers also should know the habits and styles of their team; figure out best focus time, best meeting times. Also important to establish expectations in terms of turnaround for email, messaging. (This could be an entirely separate post - contact me if you have questions...)

LAST BUT NOT LEAST... Our job moving forward will be to be committed long-term to keeping our work human. There will be a temptation to move even more work to digital platforms and keep tasks and project management front and center rather than keep working on trust-building and maintaining relational bonds. 

All that to say, workplace stress looks really different now. Again, feel free to contact me with questions and feedback. I really have talked to so many different about their situations and would love to assist you! (Or just listen and commiserate 😅) Email me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. 

FINAL ENCOURAGEMENT.

I've been reading some poetry at night to end the day on a calmer, more thoughtful note. Simple words from Mary Oliver:

Instructions for living a life. 

Pay attention. 

Be astonished. 

Tell about it. 

Thanks for reading!

 

August 2020: The Bountiful Buffet Edition

I just delivered another presentation to a group on how to deal with stress, anxiety and grief with those they work with, and was a bit rattled to realize that I first created the presentation in April 2020, with the assumption this would be a short-term strategy. 

OH. MY.

Here it is August 2020, and my presentation has only expanded, and there looks to be little reprieve in sight. Wow.

So what I will be posting today are the MANY resources I am drawing on with clients... so many that I will simply gather them together into categories. Perhaps you will need to keep this tab open and chip away at the list, pacing yourself, because there will be a great deal of content. Let me know if I am being overwhelming... here goes!

(PS I chose the photo at the top because it depicts one of greatest -- and perhaps shallowest -- things I miss during the pandemic and beyond... the Whole Foods Hot and Cold Buffet Bar 😩)

Self-Care for You and Your Family

• Helping People Move from Trauma to Growth (podcast). Very encouraging discussion about the potential for "post-traumatic growth" and movement toward resilience. I highly recommend this brief but pithy conversation. It provides some tangible steps forward and provides some welcome hopefulness in the midst of the prolonged uncertainty we've all experienced this year.
• HBR Readers on Juggling Work and Kids… in a Pandemic. I loved this and have sent it to a few clients already, who have reported back that it gave them help and encouragement, mostly in confirming that what they were already doing wasn't crazy! I especially liked it because it was crowd-sourced from around the world.
• How Can We Handle the Uncertainty about Whether and How Schools Will Re-Open? This articles offers a good balance between non-anxious and serious. 

EVERYTHING Related to Your Work Life..

Some of you have been laid off, some of you see the writing on the wall in terms of long-term options and want to get ahead of it, and some of you have finally had the time to realize you feel stuck professionally and may want to take a leap. Others are struggling with boredom, some are surprised to be enjoying the flexibility of remote work, some need new ideas for how to make it all come together. I've heard all of those things in the past few months. Here are some resources that others found useful.

• Your Ultimate Guide to Answering the Most Common Interview Questions. I gave this one to a client an hour before he had an interview, and he followed up afterward and was effusive in his description of how great it was to have this resource to prepare and really up his interview game, which was pretty rusty... I recommend bookmarking this one.
• How to Convince Your Boss to Let You Keep Working Remotely Post-COVID. Like the one above, this link has practical, specific tips. The key is in the first one. Make sure you are able to prove, from actual data, that your productivity increased and improved.
• Reopening the Office? Here’s How to Stymie Transmission of Covid-19. I believe this article is different in that it REALLY breaks down what we should do. A quote: "While social distancing, wearing masks, washing hands, and wiping down surfaces make those workplaces safer, limiting the spread of the virus depends on identifying and disrupting systems of connections. It will require mapping out transmission networks and breaking key links in those networks, a strategy quite similar to the one the intelligence community has long used to break up illegal networks." This isn't a "quick glance" read, but is immensely valuable and practical.
• Does Your Company Have a Long-Term Plan for Remote Work? I am having this conversation with nearly every client in one form or another -- please feel free to hit me up for ideas and brainstorming.
• The 25 best new productivity apps for 2020. Granted, I'm a total sucker for new productivity apps, but these showed some promise. I'm especially intrigued by the Pomodor timer, prompts writing tool, Reclaim.ai, Notes to Self, FlickType keyboard for the Apple Watch.
• What Will Happen to Office Buildings? Are you ready to REALLY think outside the box?? This one intrigued me a lot.

What Am I Doing / Using / Reading / Listening To?

Here's a quick flyover of the many things filling my days... feel free to ask me more about any of it!

Training Presentations. Clients have requested me to help them with several different things:

• Using Strengths Finder for Stress Management. Over 50 people attended this voluntarily! I told the HR VP that she sure was "reading the room" correctly in terms of what her teams needed.
• Ideas for Remote Team-Building and Collaboration. I have several different ideas for professional development, trust-building and debriefing / problem-solving, along with the "Why's" of doing it in the first place.
• How to Meet the New Needs of Clients Struggling with Grief, Loss & Anxiety. Sadly, I've had to do this one several times already, and have culled many resources along the way.
• How to Do Ongoing Performance Management and Supervision Remotely. I enjoy working with leaders on this one -- remote work can almost enhance this task. Let me know if I can help.
  

Books I'm Reading. I am nearly always reading a few books at a time... plus a magazine or two. So...

• My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem. I've listened to a couple of interviews of the author (here's one of them) and just had to learn more. It is eye-opening and so incredibly pertinent to the huge issues in our country right now.
• The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships by Helen Palmer. If you don't know what the Enneagram is (or don't care), you can skip this. I see it as a tremendously useful tool in life and personal development, especially in partnership with Strengths Finder.
• Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion by Jia Tolentino. This is a FANTASTIC collection of essays on 21st issues: feminism, Millennials, reality TV, drugs, evangelicalism, social media, and the internet. If the word "essay" makes you queasy, I think Tolentino's memoir-ish writing style will draw you in. So much of what she writes about really got me thinking, especially about social media and how manipulative it is. Check it.
  
  
  

Podcasts. As I've told some friends, if I could find a way to make a living by listening to podcasts... that would be my happy place. Here are my latest finds:

• Future Perfect. I landed on this one unexpectedly and I am hooked. They explain themselves best: "Future Perfect explores provocative ideas with the potential to radically improve the world. That’s never felt more urgent than it does today. But the truth is that humankind has faced crises throughout our history, leaving behind rich wisdom for us to draw from." The episode that drew me in was a dialogue between an agnostic and a rabbi on how to make sense of suffering. I really encourage you to check it out.
• Julie's Library. I am SURE that a huge part of why I like this one is that Julie Andrews is my most favorite person of my childhood. My first movie memory was Sound of Music and my second was Mary Poppins and there you have it. But this is a lovely little respite from COVID nightmares and is perfect for children. Or big kids like me.
• Make Me Smart. I start my day with the Daily from the New York Times and end it with this one. It's about 15 minutes long and captures the news of the day from tech, business and culture. The rapport between the hosts is warm and easy.

Time Travel. Here is what I was writing about at this time last year...

Last but not Least. Henri Nouwen, priest and spiritual writer, wrote,

“That is our vocation: to convert the enemy into a guest and to create the free and fearless space where brotherhood and sisterhood can be formed and fully experienced.”

Thanks for reading... reach out with questions or feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Ciao! 

July 2020: The Self-Care Edition

I felt some sort of tectonic shift on July 1. I spent time reflecting on how we had just finished the first half of 2020 and what an incredibly difficult and weird time that had been. I wanted to hit restart and move in a different direction. So the conversation I'm having on repeat these days is about how I'm learning to shift from a sprint to a marathon mentality. In other words, when quarantine kicked in near the end of March (WOW, that feels forever ago!) I hunkered down and just pushed hard through sheer adrenaline. This was a new experience, and we all figured it would last just a few weeks, right?

But here we are some four months later, and we ALL need a new plan. I've had experience getting through crises ~ after all, given where I live in California, I've had to evacuate three times since 1990 due to wildfires and I've survived multiple earthquakes. I've also navigated through the suicides and terminal illnesses of those close to me. But this is different. As I've said to several clients, it feels like a slow-motion car crash that never ends. And we all cannot just keep hunkering down. We need to pace ourselves -- this looks like it might last awhile.

So I've been focusing on 5 key questions with clients:

1. Are you sleeping at least 7 to 8 hours per night?
2. Are you getting exercise at least 4 days a week (PS are you getting outside?!)
3. Are you eating intentionally and in healthy ways?
4. Are you seeking consistent social support? (which is no joke under current conditions)
5. Are you pursuing some sort of spiritual practice? It could be meditation, prayer, yoga, circular breathing, journaling...

If you're like me, you've read enough about how to work from home. Now it's time to dig deeper and get more creative about how to not just survive this year, but find new ways to live. Here are some resources I've been passing along to others.

Boundaries. As the various parts of our lives now seem to live in the same place, it is becoming all the more important to learn how to set some healthy boundaries. One of the very best resources over the years has been the simply-titled book Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend. But if you are looking for some short and sweet articles on how to start living out boundaries in practical ways, go to the link at the start of this paragraph. The authors have a great little blog with a bunch of solid articles there.

Managers, Encourage Your Team to Take Time Off. Sure, this article is addressed to managers, and if you are one, take it to heart! But you also may need to advocate for yourself. My friend just took a 4-day, socially-distanced camping trip to get her head and heart cleared after a really difficult few months. Most likely, many of us are mourning the loss of cherished vacation plans this summer. Nevertheless, it is not healthy for us to forgo a break entirely. Employers are finding that workers are actually surprisingly productive as they work from home, but this also means they are not taking some much-needed breaks to unplug and recharge because it feels so complicated.

This article has some valuable ideas for how to be creative in stepping away. I like this quote:

When working from home, encourage your employees to consider “vacations” as tools for focused family time, caregiving, and self-care. Down time is likely to be devoted to supporting good mental health rather than recreation or travel.

The Agile Family Meeting. If you only have time for one article as you scroll through this post, make it this one. It is REAL and PRACTICAL, and touches on something I haven't read many other places. Rather than focus on the very valid difficulties of no school, few childcare options, and parents juggling work and family this summer, this article gives us a truly effective plan. Do not pass this up.


Final Quote. 

“Real leaders” [are] people who “help us overcome the limitations of our own individual laziness and selfishness and weakness and fear and get us to do better, harder things than we can get ourselves to do on our own.” 

David Foster Wallace

Thanks for reading. Send me questions or feedback to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. May your second half of 2020 be... better :)