WFH 2.0, Almost April 2020 Edition: Stages of Grief, Social Distancing, Shifting to Online, & Searching for Work

Oh friends... so many words. There is much that could be said, but I don't want to casually throw out meaningless platitudes or shallow sentimentalities. Rather, I will simply pass along some resources that helped me get through this month a little more easily. Please know I am thinking often about everyone I've worked with. Let's stay in touch...

That Discomfort You're Feeling is Grief. If you read nothing else on this post today, please read this. Simply put, it is poignant and powerful. It says all the right things about what it feels like to be living through this crisis. Save it and read it more than once in the next few weeks (months?). Pass along to others.

8 Ways to Manage Your Team While Social Distancing. Earlier this month I shared a resource that highlighted seven things to keep in mind while working from home. Several of my clients passed them along to their teams. Here is another useful article that is geared especially for managers and leaders. Here is the inviting introduction: "To help managers who are new to this – or even experienced managers who need additional guidance in these trying times – here are my best recommendations for supporting continued learning and the emotional well-being of your employees."

How to Shift to Remote Learning. I am well aware that there are so many articles flying around as higher ed instructors scramble to shift entirely to online learning for every local community college, private school and public university. But I found this article especially instructive. And even if you are teaching lower grades then college, I think there is some outstanding and applicable information to be had here.

Looking for a job during coronavirus? I have already had more than one conversation with someone who is looking for a job right now, either because they got laid off or simply because they had the misfortune of deciding to leave their old job right before this all hit. Where do they start? This link is a good place to start. And let's be honest, if you are at home with time on your hands because of quarantine, perhaps you should take some time to update your LinkedIn profile and resurrect your resume. If that rings true for you, I would go here first.

Unlocking Us ~ Brene Brown Podcast. I don't feel like I have to say much here. Just cue it up and listen. She has immaculate timing. This podcast could not be coming out at a better time. Please listen. And if you're looking for another good one, I would also download this one titled Terrible, Thanks for Asking. The episode from March 17 titled "9 Things" is extraordinarily good, but every episode is worthwhile.

Final Thoughts...

“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.”

Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Please send feedback or questions to me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. And peruse more leadership development resources at KSLD Resources. Thanks for reading... and take care.

WFH Update, March 2020: Coronapocalype Edition

Well friends.... wow. As we all crawl, struggle, panic, prep and persevere through this #coronapocalypse, I find myself straining to maintain some level of normalcy, while at the same time recognizing that we are all living in an incredibly unique moment in world history. Some of us are sheltering in place and the rest of us are doing our best to practice social distancing (two words I'd never paired together until a week ago...). In the midst of so many unknowns, at least we can seek each other out for support and friendship.

So here are some things I've been reading and reflecting on...

Working from home? 7 smart tips to help you get more done. Believe it or not, I have worked from home since 1995. In other words, I have some practice at this remote working thing. There are lots of articles flying around that pretend to offer input on this, but this article has some VALID tips on how to work remotely if this is new for you. I have already had a few clients send this along to all of their employees. AND... here are some simple but useful reminders on how to best run a virtual meeting. As someone who does roughly 2/3 of her work virtually, I can verify that these are excellent tips. I would only expand on tip #3, "Test the technology ahead of time": I recommend signing on with someone ten minutes early to confirm the technology (audio/video, wifi bandwidth, screen-sharing capabilities, etc), and I HIGHLY recommend that people use headsets with boom mics, especially for multi-person meetings. You can hear each person more clearly with headsets, and you cut down on ambient noise with a boom mic. My own headset cost $18, including tax #notdifficult

On Twitter @julesforrest: "Can we do a WFH workspace setup thread, unglamorous edition? My partner and I are both working from our studio apartment. My setup is a chair in front of the front door and my desk is our clothes hamper." I don't know Jules, but my heavens this threads KILLS me. I prescribe a 5-minute break every hour you work from home to refresh this thread and see the various WFH hacks that people are rigging up (which includes the cute little pupper in the photo). And should you want/need more funny memes on working from home, go here. New favorite hashtag of mine: #wfh 

"Real Leaders" podcast series on HBR IdeaCast. This is 4 episodes, and episode 1 is about one of my absolute heroes, Sir Ernest Shackelton, Antarctic explorer. Episode 2 is about Rachel Carson, a key pioneer in the environmental movement. DO NOT MISS THESE! They are equal parts inspiration, motivation and tremendous storytelling.

How Corporate Cultures Differ Around the World. Just today I had a fantastic conversation with a client in Bangkok about whether they "claim" or "grant" leadership in their culture. Obviously, this is one consideration among many as we engage in global work across cultures. I appreciate this article not only because of the subject matter, but also because it takes a global (AKA, not US-centric) perspective (which is um, more pertinent than ever in light of this global pandemic). One of my growing interests is in the dynamics of leadership development interculturally, as I noted in my December 2019 post regarding Erin Meyers' book The Culture Map. This article is an excellent "Part Two" to that post.

The Difference Between Leadership and Influence. In the same vein, I liked this reflection because it also explores the concept (as opposed to the methods) of leadership. It is concise, but thought-provoking. It would provide a great discussion starter at an executive team meeting or retreat. Here's a teaser: "You can influence without being a leader, and you can lead without influencing, but you can’t be a good leader without influencing."

Final Thoughts...
Stephen Colbert on Twitter, March 11, right before coronavirus was declared a pandemic: 

"What I wouldn't give for a dull moment."

OK, maybe one more photo from that WFH Twitter feed...

Feel free to pass this post to friends, and reach out to me with questions and feedback. Heck, if you've got time, let's schedule a video call! Contact me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. And don't forget my resources at bit.ly/KSLDresources. Keep calm and use hand sanitizer.

Learning, Living, Listening: March 2020

February was a full month for me… It included trips to Chicago and Boise to work with clients, a garden-variety cold that just would not let go, another birthday (they just keep coming, dang it!), and three new clients.  In the balance, a great month ~ indeed, I am grateful!

Thus with gratitude in mind, I want to share three different resources I came across in the last month that reminded me of the things that really matter. Amidst the chaos of coronavirus and this election season, I am doing my best to focus on further horizons, on what it takes to make a difference over a lifetime. I hope they encourage and challenge you.

LEARNING. A Little Happier: Teacher Anne Sullivan Writes About Helen Keller’s Moment of Profound Realization. Ignore the first 57 seconds of this link and then listen undistracted for the next three minutes. I promise that you will be moved as you listen. Then take some time to recall which teachers had the greatest impact on you, and consider where you can do the same.

LIVING. Third Places. This is a concept that I only learned about a few years ago, but I really resonate with it. As the article says, "Your first place is your home; your second place is your work. Your third places are your regular haunts." He goes on to list the eight qualities of a Third Place. Politics and a potential pandemic will only serve to divide and isolate us further. In contrast, I hope more and more of us can seek to create third places, and also seek to reach into new locations outside of our safe bubbles. Working from home, I am certainly reminded that I need to be more intentional in cultivating third places, and in pursuing deeper and slower conversations wherever I am.

LISTENING. Wild Work Advice with Cheryl Strayed. This comes from one of my favorite podcasts, hosted by Adam Grant, called WorkLife. Grant is an organizational psychologist who studies motivation and meaning in the workplace. This particular episode revolves around whom we seek out for advice regarding work. It's a great conversation.

Bonus Content. The Era of Antisocial Social Media. I'm adding this one because I am so intrigued by it. Just when I thought I had finally figured out how to use social media, I came across this dandy curveball… Trends are showing that  younger people do not like social media as much as private messaging! Read this article for some really interesting new research around a rejection of social media. Which is probably good news for everyone, right?

Final thoughts...

"Hope does not need to silence the rumblings of crisis to be hope."

Walter Brueggemann

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to pass this along to others, and send feedback and questions to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. You can also find lots of other resources for your work life at bit.ly/KSLDresources.  Ciao for now!

Searching for Work, Serving on a Board, and Stepping up in Your Leadership: February 2020

I had to pause when I dated something last Saturday, on February 1, and mumbled to myself, "Where did January go?" I don't know about you, but 2020 seems to be galloping forward and I'm having a hard time keeping up! Nevertheless, I'm thankful for interesting work and great conversations with clients. Once again, I came across some good stuff along the way and want to share it with you.

Are You in a Job Search? Purely out of curiosity, throughout January I tried to be intentional in asking people if they made any resolutions. Several mentioned some variation of "I want to be in a different job by this time next year." I know full well that it is pretty darn hard to jump start that process, so I came across two helpful resources in quick succession that might prove valuable if you need some help getting going:

• The Best Cover Letter Examples for Every Type of Job Seeker. Perhaps it's been a minute (or a decade?) since you have looked for a JOB job and you're feeling a little rusty... do you look on Monster? LinkedIn? Indeed? Craigslist? And what about a cover letter? Do they even care about such things?? Before you start hyperventilating, go slow and start with this link. There are multiple subarticles and examples here to get your wheels turning.
• How to Leverage an Offer... with Grace. On the other hand, perhaps you are not looking for work, but headhunters came looking for you. I think this podcast episode is a genuine, relaxed conversation that plays out several different possible scenarios. Worth a listen, at least for first 10 minutes. Best piece of advice, plain and simple: "Know what you want going in." Tune back in around the 20 minute mark for a call related to when to make a job change. PS This podcast is an easy and interesting conversation week after week about workplace issues. You may want to subscribe?

Are You Ready to Serve on a Board? Whether you want to give something back to your community or you are looking for a way to amplify your experience and resume, serving on a board could be a great next step. Though this article is targeted more toward those looking to serve on a corporate board, nevertheless the questions it asks are worth your consideration, even if you are just serving with your favorite little local non-profit, given the fiscal responsibilities we are now all exposed to when one takes on such a role. PS I've posted this article within a whole folder of board resources on my KSLD Resources drive, so feel free to look around for more articles and resources on a wide variety of topics.

Favorite Management Tips from HBR, 2019. This is a helpful compilation of key management tips from Harvard Business Review. You can use the ideas to populate your training meetings or even your staff meetings with your managers. Have fun!

20 Ways to Waste Time During the Day. Many (all??) of us struggle to maintain productivity and focus during the day. Clients often ask me for help in getting them to manage their time more effectively ~ do you know of a new app, a new time management system, a book, heck, even a gimmick, to help me knock down my massive list of to-do's? While I can pull from several tools, sometimes I recommend that you just take some time to put the mirror on yourself and look at some of the patterns and habits you have fallen into that need some attention. This list of twenty ways can be a good self-check and wake-up call. Personally, #3 and #11 are things I tend to do, and I'm currently trying to address them accordingly. How's by you?

What Am I Reading? Currently I'm reading The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. After hearing the author interviewed on a podcast and having someone else mention it in a conversation, I took that as a prompt to pick up the book. I'm taking it slowly, but it is powerful stuff. I am also quite confident that I will be applying its insights in my work, since the issues of stress management comes up so frequently with those I work with. We have become very disconnected from our bodies, yet they often end up screaming back at us to get our attention. WOW.

Final thoughts. I can't quite figure who actually said this because The Google credits several with its origin. Nevertheless, I find it concise and true:

Leadership is an action, not a position.

Feel free to pass this blog post along to others, and I welcome your feedback. Contact me with questions and comments at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading!

Adapting Your Leadership, Asking for Help, and Antidotes for Stress: January 2020

I don't know about you, but having Christmas and New Year's Day on Wednesdays has been a bit disorienting. Work-wise, I've had things to do on both preceding Mondays, so I had to sort of rev up for a work week, and then (happily) key down for the holidays... and then find that I had work to do on Thursday and Friday! Sheesh.

Oh well. #FirstWorldProblems, right? Overall, I will freely admit that I still had some great time to read and reflect during my time off ~ I'm hoping you did as well. The resources I'm sharing this month emerge from that time. I think you will find them helpful and thought-provoking.

Are You Adapting Your Leadership Strategy as Your Startup Grows? In this fruitful and creative era of start-ups, I am encountering a few clients who are facing some real challenges as they shift from being organic to becoming an organization. As this article describes it, "a chief revenue officer who successfully helps the company win an initial group of customers might not have the right skills to actually run a scaled-up organization." This article from Harvard Business Review asks many of the exact questions I am working on with clients who may be five or even ten years into building their company and discovering some new issues as they scale up that they have never faced before. The key issues tend to revolve around the ever-shifting demands placed on the leadership team. I believe this article at least gets the conversation started.

The Art of Asking for (and Getting) Help. A recent discovery of mine has been an interesting podcast titled The Anxious Achiever. Let's be honest... the title isn't super enticing. But stay with me. This particular episode does an excellent job of describing a dilemma I often experience with clients -- as the podcast guest states, in our personal lives we might easily ask for help, whether it’s childcare, errands or emergencies. But at work we fear looking incompetent or weak. Yet asking for help actually fosters reciprocity and teamwork. But how do we navigate that? I recommend this episode because it gives real-life solutions and helpful options.

Is There An Antidote To Stress? The opening to this podcast says it all: "We’re up against a chronic epidemic: stress. In fact, it’s estimated that 80% or more of doctors’ visits are due to illnesses related to stress." YIKES. But if you are at all like me, you might find it even more stressful to hear people talk about managing their stress! That is why I recommend this particular podcast episode. It is an outstanding, engaging, honest discussion on how to manage stress, but it unfolds as a relaxed, motivating conversation with many practical, simple ideas. I listened to it while I was making dinner and it had my attention the entire time. Please check it out.

As you gear up for 2020: One More Thing...
I was committed to spending some time during my break to really think through how I wanted to plan for the new year. But in that process, I realized that before I could move forward that I needed to look backward and spend some time figuring out where were all the places in my life that needed some purging, minimizing or decluttering....

Maybe I didn't always ask myself what sparked joy in my life, but I tried to be super honest with myself as to what I actually needed. During this process (which has not finished yet) I learned two things:

1. I needed to start by making a list of all the places in my life where there was clutter of some sort, before I manically tried to just get started;
2. I needed to give myself permission to not try to get everything done in a day (or even a weekend!)

Everyone has their own spots where things tend to pile up, but a couple of websites (and let me tell you there are a few thousand of them dedicated to this subject) got me thinking, and these were some of the areas that I have either started to or successfully purged:

• Kitchen junk drawer (EVERYONE has one!!)
• Bedside table drawer (so. much. useless. stuff)
• Bookshelves (7 bags of books were pulled and I feel like I barely made a dent)
• Underwear and sock drawer (there, I said it!)
• Technology stuff (cords, old phones, adapters, blah blah blah)
• Bathroom drawers (can we say, "old make-up from the 90's"?)
• Bedroom closets (this is my last and most daunting area)

So this is my word to the wise: before you get ambitious and grandiose about the journey ahead for 2020, take the time to shed the dead weight. It has been a surprisingly motivating process.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up. (Anne Lamott)

Let me know what you think of this month's resources. Go to my resource drive at bit.ly/KSLDresources for even more, or send me an email at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading!

My Christmas Gifts to You: December 2019

James Taylor's Christmas album is playing in the background as I write this... though I will admit I'm also wearing shorts and the sun is out here in Santa Barbara. I find it a little surprising that 2019 is coming to a close and that we are about to step into 2020, which sounds meaningful somehow.

Looking back, this has been a full year of literal travel (Chicago, Boise, Orlando, Dallas, San Diego, Malibu, Pasadena, Azusa, San Jose for work; Yosemite, Seattle, Maine and Alabama for fun) and a great deal of virtual travel with clients as well, to Washington DC, Seattle, Boise, Chicago, Sarajevo, Manila and Bangkok. I frequently tell people that I never could've imagined I would be doing what I am doing right now, and I am so grateful for the opportunities that have opened up to me.

In writing my last post on this blog for 2019, I thought it would be helpful to highlight some of the resources I always have available on my Google Drive, KSLD resources. Feel free to shop around there to your heart's content. Below I will list some of the goodies I have used the most with clients this year.

7 Steps To Creating The Best Personal Task Management System With Trello. I would venture to say that the top two questions that clients have the most for me relate to either conflict resolution or project management. Especially for someone relatively new to project management, I recommend they start with the Trello tool. This article is a great intro that walks you through it step-by-step.

The Future of Leadership Development: A Global Mindset. Thanks to technology and globalization, many companies find it almost common place to work on a daily basis with employees who are distributed around the world. Two of my clients have me doing leadership development work with their staff in Thailand, Bosnia, Philippines and Peru. This article is a good baseline to start from. Another super valuable tool is the book titled The Culture Map by Erin Meyer. I cannot recommend it enough and use it regularly with these clients and others.

Share your Signature Themes Report with Someone Close to You. Ten years ago I started using Strengths Finders with churches and with student interns and it ended up opening the door to so much more of the work I do now. I gave multiple presentations in the last two weeks to a variety of clients, from higher education to accounting to manufacturing, and never fail to be surprised by what sort of conversations it is able to spark, regardless of context. This particular document is especially helpful in getting someone to go deeper into the results of the Strengths Finder assessment, especially if they've got some doubts about their report. This document creates some wonderful conversation.

What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It). If I only have five seconds to explain to someone what I am doing right now, I simply tell them that I help companies cultivate soft skills with their employees. This article does a good job explaining why that is necessary. I never could've imagined that 35 years of working with people in my past roles would have led me to this point, but it has been so valuable to be so comfortable in meeting people where they are and helping them figure out what they need to move forward both personally and professionally.

Healthy vs Unhealthy Boundaries. I talk a great deal with people about what it takes to maintain healthy work/life balance, but more and more I am finding that for many people, work IS life. And the struggles they have in their home lives are the same ones they are experiencing at work. Frequently the issue of healthy boundaries comes up and this is a great resource. In addition, I recommend this one on healthy/unhealthy relationships.

14 questions to ask an underperforming employee during a one-on-one meeting. Last week I participated in a great training session with academic leaders who are trying to figure out how to best manage their teams. One of the most difficult aspects of leadership is addressing problems with performance in a way that is not discouraging, but is also clear and effective. I think this is a surprisingly useful article.

An extra: I recommend this for MUST-SEE TV. Last week I was utterly gripped by this documentary titled College Behind Bars, produced by Ken Burns and one of his favorite colleagues, Lynn Novick. Set aside four hours this month to watch this. It is a remarkable story of restoration and redemption, with tons of challenges and heartache along the way. I could not stop watching this.

Final thoughts... as you gather around tables with friends and family this month, I was moved by the challenge to ask this question:

At family dinner, don't just ask kids how the test went and whether their team won. Ask them who they helped—and who helped them. (Adam Grant)

Thanks for reading... feel free to pass this along to someone else, and please do contact me with feedback and questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. See you in 2020!

Podcast Potluck: November 2019

As I have shared with many of you, I listen to podcasts like it's my job! I listen to podcasts when I brush my teeth, when I make breakfast, as I load data on excel sheets, when I walk or ride my bike, when I shower, as I do strength exercises, when I make dinner, when I clean, when I fold laundry... you get the picture. So if you want to discover my latest favorite episodes, from the sublime to the mundane, here goes.

Fresh Air: Second Founding: How Reconstruction Remade the Constitution. Terry Gross is the best interviewer on the air, hands down. I'd recommend almost any episode. But this one in particular, from September 17, was a bell-ringer. I learned so much about the constitutional amendments that emerged out of the Civil War and Reconstruction, and the impact those amendments still have today. I am committed to learning as much as I can about our history, especially as it relates to race. Definitely not pretty.

Armchair Expert: Nadine Burke Harris and the ACEs Inventory. As I've mentioned here before, the host of Armchair Expert, Dax Shepherd, is a bit of a knucklehead. But I have to say, he recruits some outstanding guests. This episode is outstanding - though you can ignore the last 40 minutes of "fact-checking" at the end. Dr. Harris is the first Surgeon General of California and WOW is she brilliant! The ACEs Inventory is a crucial tool being used in treating childhood trauma. My own involvement in working with under-served populations has seen its profound value. Give this a listen.

BBC Global News Podcast. A steady diet of US news gives one the impression that the only news out there relates to the latest tweet from You-Know-Who. So... to get a fuller sense of world news, I listen to this one every day. Perhaps I'm sucked in by all the diverse accents? But nevertheless, it is good for me to hear the latest about Venezuela, Nigeria, Chile, Hong Kong, etc., and not just US politics, which is crazy-making.

Finding Mastery: Apolo Ohno on Competition, Olympic Greatness & Transitions. Let's just say, Apolo Ohno is one VERY intense dude. This podcast was almost like a car crash... I wanted to look away at points because his competitiveness is so focused (and almost weird), but I was equally fascinated by it.

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel. This one fascinates me, and it has already created copycats. On this podcast you get to listen in on a private counseling session! How wild is that?? It also provides helpful insights into relationship dynamics and just the way different people work. And Esther's Belgian/French accent slays me.

Office Ladies. This one is just a kick in the pants. Pure fun and tomfoolery. Plus, it is getting me to rewatch The Office episodes and that sort of relates to what this website is devoted to, right?? (Who am I kidding?) Just enjoy it.

Plus one article recommendation...

How Timeboxing Works and How It Will Make You More Productive. I have used this with a few clients this month. Certainly, there are so many productivity apps out there. But I find that simple to-do lists just don't get things done on a deeper level. I think the opening pair of sentences about to-do lists from the article sums it up well: "First, they overwhelm us with too many choices. Second, we are naturally drawn to simpler tasks which are more easily accomplished..." YES! I encourage you to give this article a good look.

Quote of the month

"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others." Nelson Mandela 

Thanks for reading... contact me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me and feel free to forward this to others. Ciao for now!

PS Don't miss out on my leadership development resources at KSLD Resources.