June 2019: Trust, To-Do's and To-Don'ts

My work life was 100% with students for almost 30 years. Summer was often a bittersweet time for me then because they would be SO excited to have time off and assume the same for me. So when they would ask me what my plans were for the summer, I would have to fight hard to not just slump my shoulders and say, "more work!"

So as we approach summer, let's commit to ending work on time as much as possible in order to live into that summertime spirit.  Look for special festivals and events in your community, schedule a walk with a family member or friend after dinner and do your best to eat dinner occasionally outside in the (hopefully) cooling air.

In the meantime, here are my best recommendations for June 2019!

TRUST. I have two very different resources that both speak to the utterly crucial issue of trust:

1. How Leaders Around the World Build Trust Across Cultures. Harvard Business Review does it yet again with this excellent article. Currently I have one client with offices in four different countries (let's just imagine what it's like to schedule online meetings across time zones that are in total 14 hours apart!), another trying to harmonize leaders from multiple ethnicities and cultures, and yet another with clients around the globe as they seek to promote sustainable practices. ALL of us are working across cultures both locally and globally and simply put, "Many managerial positions require frequent communication with employees from around the world, but building trust across cultures can be difficult. Still, it is vitally important; when individuals trust one another, they can work together effectively regardless of cultural differences." A huge portion of my work involves teaching and training others to learn the soft skills of listening, dealing with conflict, and building teams of very different people. This article does a good job of laying down some key principles. Use it in an executive staff meeting to start a conversation around this important topic.
2. John Green: Chronic Not Curable. John Green is the author of The Fault in Our Stars. This is a podcast interview from Kate Bowler. I binge-listened to the first season of this podcast on a long hike in Grand Teton National Park last year. I cannot recommend it enough.  If you are not familiar with Kate, here is a description from her website: In 2015, I was unexpectedly diagnosed with Stage IV cancer at age 35. In a New York Times op-ed, I wrote about the irony of being an expert in health, wealth and happiness while being ill. One of the most crucial ways to build trust with someone is to commit to learning how to walk carefully and slowly and persistently with them as they face hardship. Sadly, I have had the privilege of doing this many times through my life and I am most definitely a better person because of it. This podcast does a good job of teaching about how to build trust with someone over the long haul, especially when they are dealing with mental illness.

TO-DO's. 

One of the best things about me is that I am very productive. One of the worst things about me is that I am very productive. Yes, those two work in constant tension. If you ask me to do something, there is a very, very good chance that I will follow through without needing to be reminded. However, I also am essentially compulsive about needing to measure every day's value (work day, weekend, holiday, it doesn't matter) according to how much I am able to accomplish. 

One of the ways this shows itself is  in my constant hunt for the best productivity app. I am always looking for new ways to quantify all the things I need to do, and to maintain the various checklists I am endlessly creating. If you are like me, I HAVE A GREAT APP FOR YOU. It is called Daylio. It is clean and simple and the best part of all is that it is entirely customizable. I'm using it to track some daily habits I want to maintain in terms of health, exercise, and self-care. Let me know if you end up using it. I have already converted my friend Nance to it. Let's start a club!

TO-DON'Ts

This is my new favorite phrase! I am not sure who coined it first but it is tremendous. As much as I enjoy my to-do lists (see above), I have also learned over the years which things I will not and cannot do. These are two excellent articles, one geared for self-management and the other for leaders, to understand how to focus.

1. Is your to-do list making you nuts? Start a to-don’t list instead — with inspiration from author Adam Grant.  This is a highly practical and convincing article. I am especially enamoured of point number two. Recently I realized I was using social media to just zone out more than once during my day. I have now decided to only check social media once a day and actually put a timer on for 5 minutes while I do it. See what stands out to you in this article. 
2. The Work You Must Stop Doing. This blog is barebones, but I like it. This post starts with this: "You're a leader running a business unit, a function, or an entire organization. You know that your job is to put the right people in the right roles, and then create the environment that allows them to do their best work. In this capacity you have plenty of work to do yourself: setting strategy, hiring and firing, coaching and development, obtaining necessary resources, making certain decisions while delegating others, and embodying the culture you wish to foster. But as a leader there is also work you must not do, and if you're like many of my clients, it can be very difficult to stop doing it." Yes. Yes. Yes. 

Final thought.

“Do all the other things, the ambitious things—travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes...but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness.”

George Saunders, author 

Thanks for reading. Feel free to share with a friend or colleague. Contact me with feedback or questions at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Meanwhile, get outside and enjoy some sunlight!

Maps, Mindset, Multi-Tasking and Milestones: May 2019

I am fresh from an incredible week of vacation in the Pacific Northwest so I am feeling GOOD! Not only did it not rain, the weather hovered between 70-80 degrees all week. Bizarre for May in the PNW, but I can't deny I enjoyed it. Three nights on Lake Crescent in Olympic National Park and great hospitality from dear friends made it quite lovely. I am including a shot from the private little beach I enjoyed at our cabin on Lake Crescent. I spent time walking or hiking each day and reading to my heart's content. Does it get any better??

Despite the rest I have still accumulated a pile of resources I want to pass along. Give them all a spin ~ I loved each one of them.

MAPS! For some reason the universe conspired to drop incredibly cool and nerdy maps into my field of vision these past few weeks. PLEASE take some time to tour each one of them...

7 maps that tell the incredible story of aging in America. This one is a feast of fascination. It makes my head spin to think about the implications of this data. Make sure you hit the "exclusive map series" link to get the goods. And when you tour each map, keep zooming in on specific counties to see the stats. From health care to advertising to higher ed to church life, the ramifications of this info seem endless. Check it out. 

40 maps that explain the world. Where do I begin? To quote Donald Rumsfeld, "There are things we don't know we don't know." This link exposed me to a bunch of stuff that caused me to dig even further to learn more. My faves (i.e., those that grabbed my attention most) were maps #4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 24, 28, 32, 40. Which ones stood out to you? 

Bored Panda eagle map. No profound purpose to this one, but SO INTERESTING!

The Future of Leadership Development: A Global Mindset. Given that all things related to #leadershipdevelopment wake me up in the morning, it's no surprise that I loved this one. This quote got my attention:

The future will belong to millennial leaders -- who tend to be increasingly globally oriented and eager to explore the world -- and millennials' inclination to identify themselves as global citizens will further the push for a global viewpoint. 

But here's the kicker:

But few businesses are offering emerging leaders the scope of experience they'll soon need. 

Amen to that. In the past month I've worked with young leaders from the US, Bosnia, Thailand and Philippines. All are hungry to learn, but also know very little about cultural differences and dynamics. Equally significant is the impact of racism and how much that slows progress. So much work to do! My goal is to keep listening to and learning from non-white voices and to read steadily on all the issues around these topics.

What might be most intriguing (and challenging?) of all is reconciling these future trends around globalization and multiculturalism with the aging of America. THAT makes my head hurt.

Multitasking is usually a bad idea, but here are 5 times when it’s okay. This title had me at "hello" because I am a notorious multi-tasker. According to Strengths Finder (Arranger is #6 for me), it actually gives me energy to do so. Even better, this article came up with things I actually do! For example,

I love when my office is neat. But I find the actual process of organization pretty boring. Opening mail, filing papers, sorting through piles, or dusting just don’t engage my brain enough to make them feel like a worthwhile use of time on their own.

That’s why for simple organizational tasks, multitasking actually works. When I do these activities, I’ll talk with a friend or listen to a podcast. 

Let me know whether multi-tasking ever works to your benefit.

OK.... one more BONUS recommendation! How is it possible that 2019 is already almost halfway over!!? With that milestone approaching, I wanted to invite you to do a brief self-check and see if you've followed through on any New Year's Resolutions... No guilt ~ only love! (Here's what I wrote about resolutions earlier this year...)

Depending on how you've done so far, I recommend this brief article titled Three Tips to Change Behavior. Before you slump your shoulders in despair, keep this simple sentence in mind:

If you want to change your life, it requires intentionality. 

Don't give up! And if you either didn't establish any resolutions or want to change the ones you made, go for it. I picked a new one on this recent vacation and have pursued it consistently for the past ten days. It feels good.

Feel free to send me feedback or questions to kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. And feel freer to pass this along to friends and colleagues. Thanks for reading. Ciao!

Executives, Empathy, and Experts: April 2019 resources

A very wet winter and April showers treated us well here in my world... for the first time in seven years, we are not living under a drought declaration. This is good news indeed. So I will let my favorite resources flow for this month's post. (Forgive the bad pun.....)

Eric Schmidt — Lessons from a Trillion-Dollar Coach. I will start with my favorite one first. While I find Tim Ferriss a tiny bit annoying (is it the affected way that he speaks? or how he manages to casually drop that he went to Princeton in every interview? hard to say...), but I cannot deny that he often attracts some great guests for interviews. This is not a short one (it clocks in at 1 hour and 44 minutes) but I will say that it is a master class in leadership. Schmidt shares ideas big and small, from how to manage a multi-billion dollar company quadrupling in size each year to how to run a weekly staff meeting. Do not run this podcast in the background... come ready to take notes, maybe even listen to it more than once. It'll be well worth your time.

Cultivating Empathy in the Workplace. I got this from the Kellogg Insight newsletter and recommend subscribing to it. I love this statement from the article: “As anyone who’s had to manage a lot of people can tell you, human beings are extremely sensitive to fairness and where they stand in the social order." YESSSS! While leadership no doubt wants everyone in the company to maintain laser focus on the task at hand, we all need to recognize that work is derailed daily by silly (but ever-present) office drama. We ignore it at our peril! Certainly, this topic won't be solved with a simple 5-point article, but it does get the conversation started.

I also recommend this brief (3 minutes) YouTube video on Empathy vs Sympathy by Brene Brown. I am not exaggerating when I say that a big chunk of my work, which ostensibly focuses on leadership development, is often spent assisting leadership in managing interpersonal conflict on their teams. It's a thing, people! Keep this in mind (again quoting the article): "Empathy is a fundamental skill in the workplace—but that doesn’t mean everyone experiences it the same way." Remain committed to cultivating the human piece of the workplace.

EXPERTS ON EXPERT: Michael Gervais. You may sense a theme here but I will say it anyway: I LOVED this interview, but I cannot deny that at times the host Dax Shepherd is a tool. And the last half hour of the podcast, where he and his cohost do this thing they call the "fact check" is totally missable... That being said, the interview itself is GREAT because Michael Gervais is one very smart and interesting dude. This is how the interview is described: "Michael sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss working on the RedBull Stratos project, the nuisance of overcoming mental obstacles and his work with Microsoft employees to maximize work performance. The two talk about the mindfulness revolution, optimal coaching techniques and steps to train your mind." Fascinating, right?!

Rapid-Fire Resources. I'll spare you the extended commentary, but these are my must-listen podcasts this month:

• Voices of the Movement. TREMENDOUS half-hour accounts of the history of the civil rights movement.
• Going Through It. Really gripping interviews of key leaders sharing about the pivotal moments in their lives, careers, and relationships when they had to decide whether to quit or whether to keep going. 
• The Daily. Oh my lands. I can't start my day without this one. (OK, maybe the tiniest bit of commentary there...) Followed by Post Reports.
• Guardian Long Reads. This one was recommended to me by an Uber driver in Chicago. Go figure. But WOW is it good. 

One last goodie: if you like Strengths Finder, check out this amazing resource... the distribution of Top Five Strengths across 113 countries! Super nerdy, I know.

What are you reading? What are you listening to? 

I'll close with this:

Most men today cannot conceive of a freedom that does not involve somebody's slavery.

W.E.B. DuBois

Contact me with questions and feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for reading.

Board Development, Binge Listening and the Benefits of Nature: April 2019

March has been a grab bag of projects and travels:

• several Strengths Finder presentations in person (in Pasadena, CA; Dallas, TX; Santa Barbara, CA and online (in Sarajevo, Bosnia and with online students throughout CA);
• a workshop presentation on careers in the non-profit sector at a conference in Costa Mesa;
• ongoing coaching and consulting (via video calls) with clients in Seattle, Washington DC, Chicago, San Diego, Los Angeles, Long Beach, Bangkok, and Boise.

Best of all, I squeezed in a 4-day trip to Yosemite! I've included a photo I took at Tunnel View. It simply NEVER disappoints!

Perhaps I am jumping the gun in posting this on March 31 as an April edition , but I could not wait any longer. There is some great stuff here! Enjoy.

The one thing missing from your board of directors — and why it matters. A colleague introduced me to some great resources from MIT's Sloan School of Business. Bookmark it - it provides some great "mental floss." This article in particular reminded me once again how crucial it is to be strategic with whom you bring onto your board.

The Dropout Podcast. I might be a tad late to this party, but I binge listened to all six episodes while I was on a long walk/hike in Yosemite (and finished with my feet up in front of a fireplace at the Ahwahnee Hotel....... yesssss!). It tells the story of Elizabeth Holmes and Theranos. Equal parts fascinating, horrifying, and deeply troubling. But it was like a car accident... I couldn't turn away my attention.

You Spend 5% of Your Day Outside: Try Making it More. Speaking of Yosemite (I'm gloating, I know), here's a reminder (as if we need it!) of the value of being outside. Now that spring has sprung, let's do it! Favorite quote: "Kids in Finland, who have the highest test scores in the world, get 15 minutes of recess for every 45 minutes of class time. And the teachers are like, well, duh, of course we do that. Because otherwise the kids can’t pay attention and can’t sit still." Brilliant.

Just in case you gloss over the reminder to get outside... This next article was actually enlightening: Four physical signs of stress you shouldn’t ignore. I assumed I could name all four signs, but #1 surprised me. Check out the entire article. It only takes 4 minutes to read.

Wise words from John Muir (with another photo from my trip!):

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.

Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/john_muir_104245

Thanks for reading ~ please invite others to check out these articles and view other posts on this site. And send me feedback at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Ciao!

Nerds, Networks, Nearness and the Need for Speed - So Many Great Resources for March 2019

I feel like I can't type fast enough to get these written down for you! This is a TREASURE TROVE of super cool resources. Linger on each one - they are outstanding.

40 Things that Google Search Can Do. OK, this BLEW MY MIND!! I have apparently been living under a rock and use Google Search at about 1% capacity... Indeed, I know that the more we use Google the more they acquire information about us, but holy cow there are some great tools here. My current favorite is #12 ("need for speed"). This also falls under the "nerd" category of my title...

Jim Collins — A Rare Interview with a Reclusive Polymath. Here is "nerd" entry #2. I'm not gonna lie, this one is long and Tim Ferris nerds out at several points and nearly loses you. But I am such a huge fan of Jim Collins (haven't we all read Good to Great at some point?) that I stuck it out and I believe it was a great payoff. Listen and learn. I would suggest taking notes so as to not lose track. I just bought Collins' new monograph for Good to Great titled Turning the Flywheel.

Armchair Expert with John Gottman. This is an AMAZINGLY INSIGHTFUL interview with one of the foremost marriage therapists in the country. If you need a little more "nearness" with your significant other, tune in to this one. He especially explores issues around conflict. You can skip the last 40 minutes or so, where Dax Shepherd blathers on with his own commentary.

Research: Men and Women Need Different Kinds of Networks to Succeed. Yep, this speaks to "networks," obviously. I knew this information intuitively and experientially, but it was fascinating to see the research behind this one. Please read this one. It is so important to understand the limitations that women face in the workplace as they seek to advance, and how men understand and experience power. I can confirm all of it.

Assessment: How Well Does Your Team Function? I know, I know there are a ton of these sorts of tools out there, but I find HBR SO trustworthy, so this one jumps to the top of my list... If you decide to have everyone on your team take this assessment, they will receive something called "How Well Does Your Team Function? - Results." If you want to keep the results anonymous, you can have everyone send the results to me and I can collate the group's results. But it would also facilitate group discussion to just have everyone take the test on their own and share the results, if trust and communication are relatively strong. (I'm not entirely sure how this link fits into my title, but I couldn't pass it up! Perhaps "nearness" and "need for speed"?)

I will end with this...

“Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness, it turns out, is largely a matter of conscious choice, and discipline.” 

Jim Collins, Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don't

Questions or Feedback? Hit me up at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me. Thanks for visiting - share with your friends.

So Many Resources! Pick one or three...

2019 has gotten off to a jam-packed start for me... I've gained a couple of new clients, I took a trip to Chicago before the Polar Vortex hit, and I'm teaching a new class of Sociology interns. It's diverse and delightful!

Nevertheless, with Maximizer as my #3 Strength and Input at #5 (and Learner at #7), I still really
love taking in new information to the fullest extent I can manage. So here are several great resources I've already enjoyed.

READ. Get Stuff Done! Aside from stress management, one of the main topics I have with clients is in regard to productivity. They always seem have so much to do and not enough time. Here are two interesting articles that might stir the pot for you if this is something you want to work on.

1. What happened when I followed Ben Franklin’s schedule for a month. The title alone intrigued me. Once you get past the fact that he woke up at 5 AM everyday, it is difficult not to be challenged to try his approach. Here's a teaser: he suggests two hours a day for lunch!
2. How to Actually, Truly Focus on What You're Doing. Got this one from a client! It provides a great differentiation between deep work and shallow work.

LISTEN. How to Succeed as a New Manager. I am a compulsive podcast listener and I really liked this one. I liked it so much that I created a worksheet to go with it and sent it to a bunch of my clients. Let me know if you would like to have a copy. Even though the podcast itself lasts a little bit over half an hour, the section on being a new manager is only about 15 minutes. Check it out.

GROW. Take 5: How to Take Charge of Your Professional Development. Let's be honest, there are so many (TOO MANY) "top five" and "best 3 ever" lists out there, most of which are shallow and obvious. DO NOT OVERLOOK THIS ONE. Short but substantive. And #5 is my favorite.

BOOK. Leadership in Turbulent Times by Doris Kearns Goodwin. Three hundred pages into the book (which I'm enjoying), I still can't shake the import of her opening questions:

• Are leaders born or made? 
• Where does ambition come from? 
• How does adversity affect the growth of leadership? 
• Do the times make the leader or does the leader shape the times? 
• How can a leader infuse a sense of purpose and meaning into people’s lives? 
• What is the difference between power, title, and leadership? 
• Is leadership possible without a purpose larger than personal ambition?

My next book to read is Leaders: Myth and Reality by General Stanley McChrystal.

I will end with this... listening to an interview of Mary Pipher, a renowned sociologist, she said,

“We spend much of our lives keeping appointments we did not make.”

In other words, we all have to deal with circumstances beyond our control and still keep going. My hope and prayer is that I can walk alongside a few people as they keep these unexpected (and often unwelcomed) appointments. Let's do this for one another. Thanks for reading!

For more information, feel free to contact me at kelly.soifer@ksleadershipdevelop.me.

NY Resolutions? Let's Get Real

Hi Friends,
I don't know about you, but I'm finally getting over the hump of holidays and year-end and new year and all that jazz. I am slowly easing into a rhythm for 2019, and almost never accidentally write "2018"!

So now is the time I would rather talk about New Year's Resolutions... you're hopefully over the panicked rush of the first days of the new year, you've dusted the glitter off from the holiday party, and you're ready to reflect for a few moments on some #lifegoals for 2019. Here goes!

Is Listening to a Book the Same Thing as Reading It? It would not be fair of me to ask you to consider what goals, large or small, you want to set up for this year if I was not willing to share some of mine as well. I want to continue one goal that I started last year with relatively decent success: that is, I want to read at least one book per month. And that means, really read it. Like sit on the couch and take it in. Regardless, this article by a reading researcher gives a good pro's and con's listing of audiobook vs print.

How you can ditch your car, save money and live better? If we haven't met in person, you may not be aware that I am a devoted non-car owner. I sold my Subaru Legacy Wagon in 2010, and haven't looked back. (Here's a link from my old blog about why I did it...) I have owned a fake Italian scooter (the Genuine Buddy 125 pictured to the right) since 2007 and just ticked over to 29,000 miles on it! I also ride a snappy little bike called the Electra Loft 7i for errands around town. Or take the bus. Or walk, God forbid!

And before you think I'm getting all judgey on you and think that if you own a car I think you're disgusting, please have no fear. I simply want to throw out a challenge to say that all of us could indulge a little less in gas guzzling. Even if that means taking one less trip a day in your car or, if you're like me and live on the coast and are single and able to give up a car, consider it. In the almost 10 years that I've been doing it it, it has only become easier, especially with Uber, Lyft and Zipcar. I have decreased my impact on the environment and it is tremendously cheaper. And yes when I need to drive, I do. I just rent a car. Just pause and consider it. That's all. I don't need to recommit to this, but want to lean in 2019 back into the bike and bus more and not just take the scoot everywhere.

15 Bad Work Habits I’m Ditching This Year (and You Should, Too!) Numero Uno on the list is one of the TOP issues I address with clients.  When I ask groups about this, I get a raised hand and "guilty as charged" response from about 3/4 of the group. Explore the rest on the list and see where you might need to make a change. Let me know if you want to talk through any of the others!!! (See #7...)

How Can You Keep Your New Year's Resolutions? and Want To Be Happier This Year? Follow This 2019 Productive Habits Calendar (With Author Gretchen Rubin) Here are not one but TWO dandy motivational plans for how to dig in to your resolutions. I'm especially impressed with the second one -- it maps out a reasonable year-long strategy for incremental change. Don't freak out - just give them both a peek.

The 19 New Leadership Books to Read in 2019. I cannot recommend any of these because I haven't read any of them yet, but I DO recommend Adam Grant as a resource for leadership development... I am currently reading Leadership: In Turbulent Times by Doris Kearns Goodwin and completely nerding out on it. Its combination of history with leadership principles is a happy place for me. Listen to Larry Wilmore's interview of DKG if you need to get motivated to pick up the book - it did the trick for me.

How to Motivate Yourself to Do Things You Don’t Want to Do. Last resource - might be saving the best for last. If all the previous links feel overwhelming, start here with something small. Incremental changes more often than not lead to longer-lasting change than ambitious moonshots. Be gentle with yourself.

I will end with a hearty quote from Leadership: In Turbulent Times, relating a hard lesson learned by Lyndon Johnson:

But to what end did one accumulate such power? Regardless of one’s impressive title, power without purpose and without vision was not the same thing as leadership.